Only a few days into the program, Lily decided that she hated Eliza Greengrass. The blonde witch seemed to take great pleasure in tormenting her, and it took all of Lily’s willpower to keep from hexing the smug smile off the other girl’s lips, and to keep from bursting into tears. It hadn’t taken her long to determine that Emma was right, Eliza was jealous of the fact that a Muggleborn had been offered one of these coveted spots.
But that knowledge didn’t make her snide comments any easier to bear.
“I don’t see why you bother, Evans,” she said coolly, flicking a strand of silky hair out of her eyes with one perfectly manicured finger. “You won’t make it to the next stage in the program.”
“She has more of a chance than you do!” Emma hissed back, jumping into the conversation before Lily had a chance to defend herself.
Eliza laughed softly, her tone malicious. “Does she now? Really?” She cast a critical look at Lily and said, “Those spots don’t go to Mudbloods.”
Emma’s wand was drawn almost immediately. “Don’t say that word,” she spat furiously, eyes flashing with a dangerous anger that quite abruptly reminded Lily of Sirius Black.
“Emma, don’t,” she said tiredly. “Please. Just drop it.”
Unlike Black, Emma actually listened to Lily’s request and nodded. She lowered her wand slowly, still glaring at Eliza.
Eliza’s smile grew into a full-blown smirk. “Why, Vance, has the filthy Mudblood got you on a leash already?”
Emma made a sudden, jerky movement, but Lily caught her arm. “Just ignore her,” she hissed, all the while feeling the blood rush to her own face. She was no doubt bright crimson by now, and she knew a few of the other students had turned to watch. She didn’t want to be the center of attention, didn’t want others witnessing this argument.
She wondered idly how many of them agreed with Eliza.
Eliza shook her head. “You won’t succeed,” she said again. “Do you even have a potion picked out?”
When Lily didn’t answer, Eliza just shook her head again, amusement in her expression, and then sauntered away.
“Ignore her, Evans,” a wizard standing at a work station a few spot away from her said. “She’s from one of those old pureblood families that think they’re so much better than us mere mortals. Too bad they’re all completely loony from all the inbreeding.” He flashed her a brief smile. “I’m Benjy, by the way. Benjy Fenwick.”
“Lily Evans,” Lily replied, tucking a few strands of red hair behind one ear. “And this is Emmaline Vance.”
Benjy nodded a greeting to Emma. “Nice to meet you both.” He chewed his lip and glanced around the room. “I wish we got more of an opportunity to meet everyone here. I mean, we’re going to be spending so much time locked in this room with each other, you’d think Healer Lanwick would want us all to get along. But she didn’t even let us talk during the last three classes when we were working independently.”
“She’s quite strict,” Lily agreed.
As if on cue, Healer Lanwick strode purposefully into the room, closing the door behind with a firm slam. “That is enough talking,” she said sternly, eyes sweeping the room. “Let us begin.”
Lily turned her attention away from Benjy and Emma and tried to focus on what their instructor was saying. But Eliza’s words kept coming back to her, replying over and over in her mind. It was hard to discount what the blonde had said, not because she actually believed any of that tripe about blood purity, but because she still hadn’t picked out a potion to study. She just couldn’t come up with anything that she truly cared about that much.
And, annoyingly, Eliza didn’t seem to have that problem. She didn’t seem to have any problems. With her flawless blonde hair and her stunning yet delicate features and her money and blood status, she was the epitome of perfect, and she knew it.
Lily truly did not want to lose a spot in the program to someone like that.
After another grueling day of class, Lily found herself taking a slightly longer and more scenic route back to her house. The path led her past Helga’s Haunt, one of the few wizarding establishments set in the heart of Muggle London. The door were open, and the sound of music and chatter was spilling out onto the street. A few men and women, all of them looking slightly drunk, came stumbling out of the doorway, laughing uproariously.
The pub itself was poorly lit and shabby, but the people inside never seemed to mind that. They were there for the cheap alcohol and the brawls that broke out nearly every night.
Muggles couldn’t see it. She assumed they couldn’t hear it, either, or they would wonder where the constant music was coming from.
“It’s not really your kind of place, Lily.”
She started, then spun around to find Caradoc Dearborn standing on the sidewalk next to her. His brilliant blue eyes were twinkling at her, and she felt heat slowly rising in her cheeks.
“Caradoc.” She glanced quickly at the pub. “I wasn’t planning on going in,” she said, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. He had been right; it was most certainly not her kind of place. “I was just walking home, and happened to pass by,” she explained.
“I see,” Caradoc said. “And how is the advanced potion course? Everything you hoped it would be and more?”
That sort of question would have been accompanied by teasing laughter had it come from Mary or Alice, and would have led into a discussion of Lily’s obsession with Healing potions. But there was a true sincerity in Caradoc’s voice, and Lily knew he actually wanted to hear what she thought of her class.
Perhaps it was that sincerity, or perhaps it was the look of interest in his eyes, or perhaps it was merely because she had had a long day and wanted someone to talk to, and he was standing right there. Whatever the reason, though, Lily found herself answering the question honestly, spilling out things she hadn’t really meant to tell anyone, least of all someone she didn’t know that well.
“It’s difficult,” she admitted. “I know I am out of Hogwarts and so things are different, but in some ways, they feel exactly the same. Eliza Greengrass is a right cow. And I think she’s actually going to do better at this than I am because she knows what she wants and I don’t have a clue. Everyone else has a potion already picked out. Everyone else has something that they feel so strongly about. And I… I don’t.”
She stopped, abruptly cutting off the words, and lifted a hand to her lips. She felt ridiculous and embarrassed. Had she really just confided all of that in a man she only knew because he had been Head Boy to her Head Girl? They weren’t even really friends, although they were at least civil and somewhat informal with each other.
“Oh, Merlin…” she muttered under her breath, then said in a louder voice, “I’m sorry, Caradoc. I’m sure you didn’t actually want to hear about all of that.”
“If I didn’t want to hear any of it,” Caradoc answered, “I wouldn’t have asked.” Lily was silent, unsure how to respond, and Caradoc continued, “And you will figure out what potion to work on. You’ll probably come up with something you care about fervently enough to want to spend every waking minute working on it.”
Lily smiled. “Thank you,” she said, and meant it.
“You’re welcome,” Caradoc replied. He looked past Lily to Helga’s Haunt and squared his shoulders. “I guess I should venture in there now,” he muttered under his breath.
“You’re going into Helga’s Haunt?” Lily demanded incredulously. “I didn’t think it was your kind of place, either.”
Caradoc chuckled. “It’s not. My brother is somewhere in there, and I need to go pull him out before he makes a complete fool of himself… as usual.” His eyes narrowed slightly as he added with a bitter tone, “He’s always making a fool of himself, and somehow I am the one running around trying to be responsible. It’s like he’s forgotten that he’s the older brother.”
Lily frowned and said, “How much older is he?”
“Five years,” Caradoc answered. “I doubt you knew him at Hogwarts.”
Lily was quiet. Caradoc had never mentioned his brother before, but then perhaps that wasn’t much of a surprise, because she had never mentioned Petunia. The nights they had patrolled together had been filled mostly with conversation about schoolwork and plans for the future, and they had spoken very little about their families, friends, or the past.
“He went into the Ministry after Hogwarts,” Caradoc murmured, “but only lasted a few years. Ever since he quit his job my father has had to drag him out of these types of places, and now it’s my turn…” He trailed off with a heavy sigh, then turned to Lily and said, “Sorry. You probably didn’t want to hear all of that.”
“If I didn’t want to hear it,” she said, “I wouldn’t have asked.”
“You didn’t ask,” Caradoc answered with a grin, some of the light coming back into his eyes. “All you asked was how old my brother was. Generally that question only requires a number for an answer.”
Lily felt herself smiling as well. “It was nice to run into you,” she said.
“You, too,” Caradoc agreed. Lily turned to go, and he cleared his throat before calling out, “Hey, uh… Lily?”
She turned back expectantly. “Yes?”
“Do you maybe want to go out sometime?” Caradoc asked, scratching at the back of his neck absently. He look uncomfortable, but his expression was open and earnest as he said, “Like… um… on a date?”
Lily’s eyes widened. She had been popular at Hogwarts “ at least among everyone besides the Slytherins “ and had dated before. But her boyfriends had never been serious, and each time she was asked out, she still go the same fluttering of butterflies in her stomach.
And this was Caradoc Dearborn. He had been Head Boy. He was good and smart and responsible and caring and attractive.
“I’d love to,” she replied.
Two days later, Lily found herself standing with Caradoc in a Muggle bookstore, peering at the different classics lining the shelves.
They had dined at another Muggle place, a small resturaunt that served rather bland and incredibly over-priced food, but the conversation had been lively and entertaining, and Lily hadn’t wanted the night to end. It was the first time since starting the potions program a week prior that she had been able to enjoy a night without work or worry. So when he had suggested browsing the nearby bookstore, she had quickly agreed.
Caradoc was a half-blood, and she felt it somewhat of a relief that he had actually heard of Jane Austin and Charlotte Bronte.
“I’ve read Austin,” Caradoc admitted as Lily pulled out a copy of Pride and Prejudice. “Not Bronte, though my mother loves her. She can never stop talking about Wuthering Heights.”
Lily flipped through the pages of the book in her hands as she asked casually, “Did your mother try to get you to read Muggle authors on purpose?”
Caradoc nodded. “Still does. She always bugs me about doing chores without magic, too. Says she doesn’t want me to lose sight of the fact that I have a Muggle heritage as well.” He grinned, face flushed with laughter, and added, “I don’t think she’s ever forgiven my father for not telling her he was a wizard until after they married.”
Lily chuckled. “That must have been a nasty shock for her.”
Caradoc nodded again. “What about your parents?” he asked after a moment. “How did they handle finding out you were a witch?”
“They were fine with it, at least after the shock had worn off,” Lily replied, smiling warmly at the memory of her father’s slack-jawed stare. “I guess in some ways I was lucky because I found out I was a witch before getting my Hogwarts letter. I think that might have been a bit too much for them. To so abruptly learn that I had magic and that I was going to go to boarding school away from them… Mary got her letter the summer before she was expected to leave, and she said her parents nearly had a fit about it. Can you imagine only giving a family a few months to adjust to that kind of news?”
“Mary McDonald?”
“Mm. Yeah.” She replaced the copy of Pride and Prejudice on the bookshelf and looked around, her eyes scanning everything. She loved bookstores.
“How did you find out?” Caradoc asked, trailing her as she wandered out of the fiction section and into a section on poetry.
“Find out what?” she questioned absently as her gaze fell on a book of poems by W.B. Yeats. She picked it up quickly, almost gleefully. Her mother had read Yeats to her when she was younger. She and Petunia would sit on the floor by the fireplace and listen to their mother’s voice as it rose and fell over words she didn’t understand at the time.
Of course, that was back when she and Petunia had actually been able to bear each other’s company.
“How did you find out you were a witch?” Caradoc clarified.
“Oh.” Lily sighed and closed the book of poems. “Severus Snape. He and I used to live in the same area and…” She hesitated, torn. Part of her wanted to tell Caradoc everything, to let her frustrations and fears come bubbling out as they had two nights ago in front of Helga’s Haunt.
The other part of her didn’t even want to think about Severus.
“We used to be friends,” she said finally in a clipped tone. “He saw me using magic and told me I was a witch.”
Caradoc must have picked up on her reluctance to talk about this subject, because he said nothing else about it. Instead, he reached out and took the book from her hands. She released it, and watched as he flipped through the pages, silently skimming the words.
He cleared his throat and read aloud, “The purity of the unclouded moon/has flung its atrowy shaft upon the floor./ Seven centuries have passed, and it is pure,/the blood of innocence has left no stain./ There, on blood-saturated ground have stood/soldier, assassin, executioner.” He looked up at Lily, eyebrows raised. “You like this?”
She snatched the book back from him, blushing, and said defensively, “It’s Yeats. Of course I like it.” And, looking down at the still open page, she finished the stanza, “Whether for daily pittance or in blind fear/or out of abstract hatred, and shed blood,/but could not cast a single jet therein./ Odour of blood on the ancestral stair!/ And we that have shed none must gather there/and clamour in drunken frenzy for the moon.”
“What does that even mean?” Caradoc demanded.
Before Lily could answer, the sound of a sudden, angry snarl caught her attention, and she and Caradoc both turned to see the owner of the bookstore advancing in fury on his hapless employee.
“I told you to organize the books by author,” the man spat, black eyes flashing. “I didn’t hire you to sit around and do nothing! You should have finished this already.”
The employee raised both his hands in a sign of surrender and said in a pleading tone, “I’m sorry. I just haven’t gotten to it yet. But I will.”
“Haven’t gotten to it yet?” the owner snorted. “What’s been keeping you so busy, eh? Was it because you were off sick this week? Don’t think you can pretend to be ill to get out of this job. I’m not paying you for work you don’t do.”
“I wasn’t pretending,” the employee answered, and there was enough exhaustion in his voice for Lily to easily believe that he hadn’t been lying about being sick.
But that wasn’t what caught her attention. No, she was more focused on the familiarity of that voice, and of the light brown hair with the silver tint.
“Remus?”
Remus Lupin spun around in surprise. He gaped at Lily for a moment, then found his voice and said quickly, “Oh, hello, Lily. Dearborn.”
“Lupin,” Caradoc said with a nod and a slight smile. His eyes narrowed in dislike, though, as they slid past Remus and focused on the owner of the bookstore.
Lily had to silently agree with that sentiment. Just who did this man think he was, accusing Remus of all people of trying to get out of doing his work?
“And I certainly didn’t pay you to waste time talking to your friends,” the owner said, glaring at Caradoc for a moment before looking at Remus. “So you can tell them to get lost. I expect you to do your work. Do you understand me?”
“Yes, sir,” Remus said, and bowed his head. He looked beaten, and Lily just stared at him in surprise and dismay. Remus might not have frequently stood up to his friends at Hogwarts, but he hadn’t let them “ or anyone else “ treat him like this. She had never seen him act so crushed.
“We’re actually customers,” Lily said coolly. “We were here looking at your selection of poetry.” She practically flung the Yeats book at the owner. “But I don’t think we’re interested anymore. Are we, Caradoc?”
“No, we’re not,” Caradoc said, and slid his arm around Lily’s waist.
Lily watched as Remus’ eyes travelled from her face to Caradoc’s arm, and then widened in disbelief.
The owner just rolled his eyes and muttered something about useless louts underneath his breath before turning away from them. Lily watched him go in silent anger, then turned back to Remus. She studied his appearance, and her anger quickly drained away, replaced by concern.
“Are you feeling alright, Remus?” she asked.
There were dark circles under his eyes, and his skin was an unnaturally pale color. He had always been thin, but that seemed to be exacerbated at the moment. His face looked gaunt and sunken. There was also a gash on his arm. She could just see the end of it peeking out from under his shirt, and it looked raw and red and painful.
But more than that, it was the look of utter hopeless defeat in his eyes that concerned her.
He waved away her concerns and forced a smile that did not reach his eyes. “I’ve just been a bit under the weather,” he said casually. Then he lowered his voice and, after glancing quickly around to make sure the shop owner was close enough to hear, he added, “And my boss is a complete git.”
Dearborn laughed. “Yeah, we got that,” he said. “But why are you even working in a Muggle bookstore, Lupin? You were a prefect, you must have had top marks. Surely you could get a job in the Ministry or something like that.”
Lupin shrugged, but wouldn’t quite meet Caradoc’s eyes as he answered, “Guess I just wanted a little change of scenery. This place isn’t so bad.”
“I thought your boss was a git?” Caradoc countered.
Remus smiled tiredly. “Yeah, well… I do like books.”
“Lily does, too,” Caradoc said with a quick look and a charming smile for the redhead. “She’s just been explaining the joys of Yeats poetry to me.” He wrinkled his nose as he said that, clearly demonstrating his opinion on the matter. But his gaze was frank and open and his tone was teasing, and Lily felt a warm contentment as his arm tightened around her waist.
This was nice. It was pleasant and sweet and easy.
“Are you two on a date?” Remus asked curiously, his eyes once again focused on Caradoc’s arm.
“We are,” Lily answered immediately.
“Huh. Well…”
“What?” Caradoc demanded, apparently taken aback by Remus’ disheartened tone.
“Nothing. I just… Sirius and I had a bet on whether or not the two of you would start dating at Hogwarts. Since you were Head Boy and Head Girl.” He tilted his head to the side and said contemplatively, “It’s after Hogwarts, though, so maybe I can convince Sirius he didn’t actually win.”
“Black thought we would start dating?” Lily asked sharply.
At the same time, Caradoc snorted and said sarcastically, “The famed Gryffindor Marauders were making bets on our personal dating lives?”
“It was just Sirius and I. For obvious reasons, James didn’t want to join in on the bet,” Remus replied, “although he agreed with me…” He trailed off and didn’t elaborate, and Lily felt as though she was missing something. But Caradoc was nodding thoughtfully, as though Remus’ response had made sense to him, and Lily decided it wasn’t worth pursuing that topic of conversation just to understand more about Potter or Black.
Particularly given that she disliked both of them.
“We should probably get going,” Caradoc said after a moment’s pause. He looked down at Lily. “Are you ready?”
She nodded, still staring at Remus. “Caradoc, I’ll meet you outside, alright?” she softly.
Caradoc opened his mouth to say something, then thought better of it and merely shrugged. He dropped his arm from Lily’s side and left her and Remus alone. Lily turned to watch him go for a moment, and felt a smile tug at her lips as she saw him send another glare at the bookstore owner.
“He really doesn’t have to do that,” Remus said with a sigh, jerking his head in Caradoc’s direction. “It won’t make a difference, anyway. Angry glares are not going to change anything here.”
“He doesn’t like seeing people treated badly,” Lily answered, the smile still on her lips. She shook her head and pushed Caradoc out of her thoughts, focusing instead of the wizard standing before her.
Remus folded his arms over his chest and eyed Lily warily. “Something you wanted?” he asked.
“What’s going on?” she asked bluntly. Remus opened his mouth to say something, but Lily interrupted him. “You look horrible, Remus. Are you really that sick? I mean… you look practically green.” She gestured wide with her arms, indicating the store around them, and continued, “Why are you working at a place like this?”
Remus forced a laugh that sounded stilted and hollow. “You worry to much, Lily. I was sick, but I’m doing much better now. And like I said… I like books.”
“You could find a different place to work,” Lily protested. “Or you could work at a magical bookstore. What about Flourish and Blotts? Or there are plenty of bookstores in Hogsmeade, too.”
“Lily,” Remus interrupted firmly, “It’s fine.” He sounded weary, but also determined, as he pressed onwards, “There’s nothing for you to worry about. It’s just been a bad night, and my boss is sometimes awful, but I do like it here. And I just need a few more days to recover and then I’ll be back to my normal healthy self again.” He smiled, and this time there was genuine warmth in his eyes as he said, “I do appreciate your concern, though.”
Lily sighed heavily. “I just want to help,” she said.
“I know,” Remus answered. “And I am grateful for it. But everything is fine.”
He was lying. He was staring directly into her eyes and lying to her, and that bothered Lily far more than she was willing to admit. But there wasn’t anything she could say or do to change his mind, so she murmured a farewell and left him standing there.
Caradoc was waiting for her outside. He gave her a questioning look, and she shook her head slowly, frustration and sorrow filling her.
“I thought he would talk to me if you weren’t there,” she said. “I thought he would tell me what was wrong, let me help… I just wanted to… Gryffindor loyalty and all that.”
Caradoc pulled her into his side, and she leaned against him. “He’s got Potter, Black, and Pettigrew to look out for him, Lily,” he said. “I’m sure he’ll be fine.”
“I guess,” Lily agreed, but she couldn’t quite shake the feeling that she should be able to do more for him.
The two of them started walking along the sidewalk. Caradoc kept his arm wrapped around her shoulders, and she leaned her head against him and looked up at the sky. It was hard to see any of the stars with the numerous lights of Muggle London obscuring the view, but the moon was shining brightly enough to be seen through the haze of clouds and the light pollution from the city.
Caradoc followed her gaze. “Full moon,” he commented. “That’s romantic.”
“I think the full moon was a few nights ago,” Lily corrected. Caradoc slanted a questioning look at her, and she explained, “I still have some of my books from our Astronomy class. I was reviewing them this week. I don’t want to forget everything we learned over the past seven years.”
“Somehow, I doubt you will,” Caradoc answered, his tone a mixture of admiration and teasing.
Lily frowned at him. “You have quite a talent for making a compliment sound like an insult,” she said.
Caradoc laughed again, and Lily soon joined in, chuckling in amusement.
It had been a pleasant evening.
“They started dating after Hogwarts, Padfoot. You didn’t win.”
“It was close enough, Moony. Come on, cough up the Knut.”
“No!”
“Fine. If you’re that worried about money, I’ll let you skip out of paying for this one. But I did win.”
“No, you didn’t. And I am not worried about losing a Knut, Padfoot. I can afford that. But it is the principle of the matter. You lost.”
“What are you two arguing about this time?”
Sirius and Remus stopped in the middle of what they were dong and looked up in surprise as James entered the room. Remus instantly felt abashed; he hadn’t come here to tell James about Lily and Caradoc. Somehow, he knew his friend wouldn’t take the news too well.
Sirius didn’t seem to have those qualms. “Evans and Dearborn are together,” he said, “and Moony won’t pay me for the bet. I won.”
“The bet was that they would start going together at Hogwarts,” Remus snapped back.
James had latched onto only one part of the argument, and didn’t care about anything else. His expression fell as he asked quietly, “Evans and Dearborn are dating? How do you know?”
“They came into the bookstore,” Remus said.
“Ah, cheer up, Prongs,” Sirius said. “There are plenty of other girls out there.”
James walked over to the overstuffed armchair near the decorative fireplace of the flat Sirius had moved into after getting money from his Uncle Alphard and flopped down on the seat. “I don’t want another bloody girl,” he muttered angrily. “What does she see in him? He’s a complete prat.”
“Dearborn? I don’t know, Prongs, I think he’s okay,” Sirius answered.
James glared at him. “Well, maybe you should go snog him, too,” he growled.
“Oh, well done, Sirius,” Remus hissed. Honestly, didn’t he have any sense at all? James’ infatuation with Lily was far more than just a passing sentiment. They had put up with it for years, after all.
But Sirius seemed to realize that James’ foul mood was now going to linger over everything, and he said, “Ah, cheer up. Dearborn might not be a bad sort, but he’s a right prat. Boring, too. Evans will break up with him in no time.”
Remus wondered idly how someone could be both a decent person and a complete prat, but decided not to ask Sirius that question. James was smiling slightly at the comment, and that was good enough for the moment.
Then James turned to Remus and asked, “Did you talk to her when she came into the bookstore?”
Remus’ expression soured. “Yes, I did,” he said quietly, thinking about the tense conversation.
James registered Remus’ frown and was instantly alert. “What’s wrong?” he demanded. “Did something happen? Is she okay? What did she say to you?”
Remus raised his eyebrows and said flatly, “She’s fine, Prongs. I’m the one who tried to claw myself to shreds a few nights ago, remember?” He exhaled slowly, then crossed to the sofa opposite James and sat down. “She and Dearborn arrived when Mr. Pracket was berating me for being sick early this week. Lily could see that something was wrong. She wanted to know why I was so sick, why I was working in a Muggle bookstore, and if there was anything she could do to help.”
“What did you tell her?” Sirius asked.
“That everything was fine and not to worry about it,” Remus answered. “What else could I tell her?”
There was a silence as all three of them thought over Remus’ words. It was true; there really was anything else he could have said to her without revealing his secret. And that was something he was loathe to do, even if he was fairly certain that Lily could be more open-minded than many other witches or wizards.
“She’s right, though,” James said. “You shouldn’t be working at that place. I’ve seen the way Pracket treats you.”
“I need to make a salary somehow,” Remus replied. “It might not be the best place to work, but at least he’s paying me. You know I’ll never get a job in the magical world.”
“There has to be something…” Sirius started, but Remus interrupted him.
“I would be required by law to report my lycanthropy status to any potential employers,” he said dully, “and you can bet they wouldn’t hire me then. And even if I could somehow lie on my application forms, they’d figure it out when I started missing work around the full moon. And the penalty for lying to an employer about being a werewolf is one year in Azkaban, Sirius. I’d rather not risk that.”
“And what are you going to do when Pracket gets annoyed that you’re sick every single month and fires you?”
“Find a new job,” Remus answered. He closed his eyes for a moment, feeling so much more tired than he would have ever thought possible. At least at Hogwarts, before entering the unforgiving world, he had been protected by the understanding and compassion of the Headmaster.
He didn’t have that now. He didn’t have anything now, and he’d realized that he had been taking it all for granted in the past.
Well, that wasn’t quite true. He still had his friends, and he still had access to the Shrieking Shack. But even the transformations were going to be more painful. He no longer had Madam Pomfrey to help fix him up the next day. Every gash, every wound, every vicious claw or bite mark… She had always given him the right healing potions and salves and then let him sleep off the painful aftermath of his transformation. Now, he knew, he would start waking the morning after with the same injuries and nothing to do but wait for them to heal naturally.
He could go to St. Mungo’s, but that required money, and he just didn’t have enough of it. His parents had nearly impoverished themselves taking care of him when he was growing up, and he wasn’t going to go to them for help. They would give it to him without question and without any regard for what it would cost them, and he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t let them take care of him forever, not when it took so much from them.
And all that meant that it would take his body longer to recover, and the subsequent transformations would be worse because he would be too tired to fight against the wolf with his usual strength and passion.
He opened his eyes and, looking at Sirius and James, said, “For all the problems working in the Muggle world will cause, it is still the only viable option. There is no way I can get a job anywhere in the magical world and you know that.”
“We could support you for a while,” James offered, “until we can figure something out.”
James had made the offer twice already since the last full moon, and each time Remus had flatly refused.
He refused this time as well.
“I’m not taking your money, Prongs.”
“Don’t be so proud, Moony,” James retorted, his tone hard. “I want to help. We all want to help, but you keep letting your pride get in the way. Why can’t you see that?”
Remus rolled his eyes. Did James of all people really think he was qualified to give a lecture on the dangers of pride?
Still… it did fill him with warmth to know he had friends who cared enough about him to offer that kind of help.
While You Tell Me Stories by Dawnie
Chapter Endnotes: The stanza by Yeats that Caradoc and Lily read is from the poem Blood and the Moon.