–No,†Dorian admitted. –They don’t really let many people our age in. Gemma practically had to force them. I suppose I haven’t really done anything to help.â€
–What can we do though?â€
Dorian shrugged. –I’ve been asking myself that all year. I settled on just trying to be there for Gemma, and helping her out where I could.â€
–What happens now that she’s gone?â€
Dorian sat back down on his bed and slumped his shoulders. –I have no idea. I thought about trying to join the DA myself but I still don’t think they’d take me, especially now Gemma has disappeared. And I’m not convinced I’d be good enough at magic to do it. But it feels like such a waste to just do nothing. What do you want to do?â€
It was a simple enough question, but it was the one that had kept Adrian tossing and turning all night and the truth was that he still didn’t really have an answer. Now that he had finally admitted that he had been wrong, he felt as if he needed to do something to show that he was serious. He was just stuck about what.
–I don’t know,†he said in answer to Dorian’s question. –I think I need to wait until I can be sure my dad and brother are safe, but maybe after the holidays we could….I don’t know.†He trailed off. The situation just seemed so unbelievably hopeless. What could they actually do?
–I suppose we just keep going,†Dorian said. –Keep going to class and ignoring everything the Carrows say, and wait for an opportunity to do something that might make a difference.â€
–Yeah,†Adrian replied. –I guess you’re right.â€
He sat with Dorian and Rosa at breakfast that morning but afterwards he found Duncan and Hector sitting outside on the grass, supposedly revising but in reality throwing bits of rolled up parchment at each other.
–You’re going to do great in your OWLs,†Adrian said, rolling his eyes.
–We’ve been working very hard actually,†Duncan replied indignantly.
–Some of us need to,†Hector snorted.
Adrian laughed. It was amazing how these two could cheer him up even though everything seemed so bleak at the moment and it wasn’t as if they didn’t have their own problems.
–How’re things, Adrian?†Hector asked.
–All right,†said Adrian, settling himself on the grass next to them. He really should have brought down some of his own homework to do but he was too tired to concentrate. Instead he quickly filled the others in on what had happened with Dorian and Rosa. He didn’t give them too much information about Gemma - just that she had disappeared and they suspected the Carrows were behind it.
–I just don’t know what to do,†he said, at the end of his story. He paused a moment then asked cautiously, –Are either of you in Dumbledore’s Army?â€
Duncan shook his head but didn’t elaborate.
–It’s difficult to know what to do,†Hector said. –I know with my aunt, I wanted to do something that would help her so badly, but I quickly ran out of ideas. Everything I thought of would probably only make the situation worse. I keep telling myself we’re just kids, but then so was Harry Potter and that’s never stopped him from doing anything. Maybe we’re just not brave enough.â€
–How do you stay so…upbeat after everything that’s happened?†Adrian asked, struggling to find the right word.
–I guess we just accepted that we couldn’t change things, not really, and that at some point there’ll be a time we can make a difference but until then, what’s the point in wallowing in misery?â€
–Yeah,†Adrian murmured. It made a lot of sense of course, but it still didn’t feel like enough.
He spent the rest of the day not doing very much. He left the boys after a while and went back to the common room where he tried to work on his homework with little success. At about four o’clock, a rather terrified looking second-year came up to him. –Adrian Radley?†he asked. Adrian nodded. –Professor Carrow has asked to see you in his office,†the second-year said quickly and before heading over to his own group of friends on the other side of the room, relieved his duty for the Dark Arts Professor had been done.
Adrian swallowed down the lump that instantly rose in his throat. What on earth now?
–You going to be okay?†Dorian asked.
–Yeah, I’m sure it’s nothing,†Adrian said with a small smile, trying to ignore his rapidly beating heart. –I’d better not keep him waiting.â€
He ascended through the castle to the Dark Arts classroom where Professor Carrow was waiting for him alone. Adrian felt a little relieved by that. There were no more mysterious strangers from the Ministry to cart him off for questioning, or worse.
–Sit down, Radley,†Carrow snapped as soon as he entered. –My friends at the Ministry tell me your father and brother have disappeared.â€
Adrian tried to keep his face as neutral as possible though his heart was now beating even faster, half from relief, half from fear.
–Do you want to tell me where they are?†Carrow continued.
–I don’t know, Sir,†Adrian replied.
All of a sudden he was flying backwards out of his chair, and landed on the floor a metre away, banging his head on the edge of a bookcase as he fell. He looked up in shock. Carrow was still sitting at his desk.
–I don’t have time for these games anymore, Radley. I am tired of children thinking they are smarter than me or that they can keep things hidden from me and I won’t know the truth.†Spit was flying out of his mouth with every word and there was a slightly wild look in his eyes. Adrian wondered Dumbledore’s Army was finally succeeding in making Carrow feel less in control of Hogwarts than he had been.
–Stand up,†the Professor snapped. –You look pathetic down there.â€
Adrian quickly scrambled to his feet, standing too quickly and causing all his blood to rush to his head, which was already a little woozy from the force of impact against the bookcase.
–Now tell me, where are they?â€
–I really don’t know, Sir.â€
–One day you’re going to realise that it’s a bad idea to lie to me, Radley. You lot think you can get away with anything and all we can do is give you a detention but believe me, you have no idea of our real power, or what’s really happening in the world. I have already dealt with one of your little friends. It would take only a word to deal with you too.â€
–I can’t tell you what I don’t know, Sir.â€
–You’re weak, Radley,†the Professor sneered. –And far too easily influenced. It’s pathetic. But then, looking at your family, it’s easy to see where you get it from.†He paused and then stood up and slammed his fist against the desk. –See, you don’t even react when I insult your darling family!
–I used to think you were someone with the right ideas but you’ve sided with the wrong people now, and it’s not going to be long before you find out the world isn’t the innocent place you’ve always believed.â€
–I think I’ve already learnt that, Sir,†Adrian replied, shocked at his own bravery. –I learnt it from you in this classroom. And it’s not weak to admit you’re wrong. Maybe you should try it sometime.â€
He almost gasped at his own cheek. What on earth was he thinking? He looked at the Professor nervously, waiting for him to react. He prepared himself to be hit by another curse and wondered how much this one would hurt.
–Get out,†Carrow spat instead. –Or perhaps I’ll teach you something else. That smart mouth is going to get you in a lot of trouble.â€
Before anything else could come out of his mouth without him meaning to, Adrian turned and practically ran out of the room, relief flooding through his body.
By the time he got back to the common room, he thought was about to pass out. His heart was beating so fast and Carrow’s final threat was still ringing his ears. What was going to happen to him now? Would they arrest him too? Or something even worse?
He paused outside the entrance to the common room, desperate not to cause a scene with his entrance. It took a few minutes but his breath eventually returned to normal and though there was nothing he could do about the lump that was rapidly forming on his head, it wouldn’t be immediately obvious to someone who wasn’t paying attention.
The first thing he did when he entered was look for Dorian. The other boy looked up as he approached. He seemed about to say something but then stopped when he saw Adrian’s face. He mouth formed a small o of shock but Adrian gave a small shake of his head and nodded towards the common room. Get Rosa, he mouthed.
A few minutes later the three of them were safely up in the fourth-year dormitory. Adrian studied his face in the mirror and was shock by how bad it looked. He had obviously caught the bookcase at a bad angle and there was a large dark lump forming on the side of his forehead. He gingerly pressed his fingers against it and gasped in pain.
–Don’t do that!†Rosa said at once. She pointed her wand at his head and Adrian immediately flinched.
–Calm down! I’m just going to do something about the pain,†she said. –I learnt a few healing spells for Gemma. It seemed like a way to help,†she mumbled. It was clear that she too was feeling guilty about not having done enough. She muttered an incantation and instantly the ache in Adrian’s head lessened, and when he touched his head the pain had gone.
–Wow, thanks.â€
–I can’t do much about the appearance,†she said. –I’ve shrunk it a little but you’ll still get some funny looks.â€
–It doesn’t hurt anymore, at least,†Adrian said. –I bet you helped Gemma a lot when she was hurt.â€
Rosa didn’t reply but she gave him a small smile.
–Okay, enough of that, tell us what happened,†Dorian asked impatiently.
Adrian relayed his brief meeting with Carrow.
–I suppose we know that they’re responsible for Gemma’s disappearance then,†Dorian said when he was done.
–Yeah, but what do you suppose ‘dealt with’ actually means?†asked Rosa. –You don’t think they’d do anything worse do you?â€
–No,†said Dorian firmly. –Things are bad, but we’re not at a point where they’d kill a teenage girl just for a speaking up in class and pulling a few stunts. We can’t even think about it.â€
Adrian didn’t think they’d have killed her either but he couldn’t deny it was a possibility. Dorian was right though - there was no point in thinking about it.
–Either way, you need to keep your head down, Adrian. You’re a target for them now and if you ask me they’re starting to lose control. It doesn’t seem as if anyone is scared of them anymore except for the really young ones. We need to be prepared for the fact that things might get worse now. He’s shown you that tonight.â€
–I didn’t mean to speak like that,†Adrian said. –I don’t really know what happened to me.â€
–Well try not to let it happen again. The last thing we need is to lose you too.â€
Adrian didn’t reply. His thoughts turned to Gemma and he wondered where she was. Was she on her own somewhere, hurt, scared, not knowing what was going to happen next? He shivered. Would he be next?
He spent the next week on edge. Every DA lesson he waited for Carrow to call on him, or find some excuse to give him detention. In the evenings he sat in the common room, one eye constantly on the door, waiting for a summons. Nothing happened though. In fact, the Professor seemed to be completely ignoring him. By the time the end of the week and with it the start of the holidays arrived, Adrian was starting to relax again. He was still happy though to be leaving the tension of the castle for a week at home.
Or at least he was until he saw his mother. She greeted him at the station, not looking hugely different to usual. As soon as they got home though, he realised that was just for appearance’s sake. The house was not its usual pristine state - there was post piling in the hallway, unwashed dishes in the sink in the kitchen and laundry hanging out of the basket.
Theia ignored all these things. She sank in to a chair in the living room and closed her eyes. –Adrian, I have to tell you something.â€
Adrian tried to prepare himself to act surprised. –What’s happened, Mum?†he asked.
–Your father has left me. I don’t know where he’s gone.â€
–Why?†Adrian asked, hoping he sounded suitably shocked.
–I don’t know. He was too spineless to even to tell me to my face. He left me a note,†she said, her voice cracking at the end of the sentence.
–He turned up to Samuel’s school before I could get in touch with them. He told them we were withdrawing him and they let him go of course. Now he has my son and I don’t even know where they are!â€
Adrian didn’t know what to do. He had never seen his mother like this before and he had certainly never seen her cry. Suddenly he felt guilty for lying to her. Surely if she knew the truth she would understand. It would make her feel better to know.
–Mum, I,†he started but then he’s father’s words from the last time they had seen each other came floating to the front of his memory. It is too dangerous for her to know anything else.
–I’m sorry,†he finished off.
–He can do what he wants,†Theia replied stiffly. –But he has no right to take my son away without a word. Don’t worry though, Adrian, the Aurors will find them and they’ll bring Samuel home to us.â€
–The Aurors?†Adrian asked panicking. –You reported to him the Aurors?â€
–What else could I do?â€
–Maybe he thought he needed a holiday or something,†Adrian said, desperately. –I’m sure they’ll come back. He wouldn’t just leave you, Mum.â€
–I’m sorry, Adrian, but he has,†she said. Her voice had softened as if she was only just remembering that Adrian was still a child himself.
–Why don’t you go and unpack,†she said. –I have a headache.†She closed her eyes and leant back in the chair. Adrian took his cue and headed upstairs to put his things away. He didn’t need much for a week at home and so it didn’t take very long, but he didn’t go back down. He couldn’t stand to be with his mother while she was so sad, especially not with everything he knew. Suddenly his father’s plan no longer seemed like such a good one. Yes he hadn’t really left her and he would be back, but would she forgive him when he came? Would she accept that he was doing the right thing?
Adrian sighed. It seemed like both he and his father would end up regretting doing what they thought was best. He just hoped that on this occasion, everything would work out.
It was the beginning of a bad week of holiday. His mother seemed to have sunk completely into a depression. Adrian did his best to tidy up, but he was hopeless when it came to the laundry especially as he was unable to use magic outside of school. He discovered there was almost no food in the house but he couldn’t get to anywhere he might be able to buy some so he sent off for an express owl order from Diagon Alley which arrived the next day.
Theia refused to leave the house. Adrian suggested she might want to go and see some of her friends in London or even just go for a walk.
–How can I possibly face people after what’s happened?†she asked him. –I know what they’ll all be saying behind my back. I will not give them the satisfaction of letting them see me like this.â€
Sometimes, Adrian wondered if his mother cared that his father had left because she missed him, or because of what other people would be saying about it. There could be no denying that she was desperately worried about Samuel though, and more than once he heard her crying late at night after she thought he was asleep. Every morning she sent a letter off with the family owl, but every evening he returned with it still tied to his leg. Wherever his father had taken Samuel, he had done a good job of making them unreachable. While this was even more upsetting for his mother, it reassured Adrian that the Ministry were going to have a difficult time tracking them down.
Desperate to get out of the house, he arranged to see Dorian on Wednesday. Dorian was able to convince his own mother to Apparate over and collect Adrian, though Theia insisted that he was to wait outside for her and not let Mrs Whitbread in the house. Given that Dorian’s mother was supposed to be one of her closest friends, Adrian was surprised that she was being so strict but she was adamant she wouldn’t see anyone.
–It’s terrible, Dorian,†he told his friend. –She hasn’t left the house all week. I’m surprised she’s even changing her clothes.â€
–And you definitely can’t tell her the truth?†Dorian asked.
–I think I have to trust Dad. He thought it was too dangerous for her to know and given everything that’s happened since, I believe him. If the Ministry came round now, they definitely wouldn’t have a hard time believing she doesn’t know anything. No one could be that good of an actor.â€
–It sounds rough,†Dorian said sympathetically.
–At least we’re all alive and free,†Adrian said, knowing it was something to be grateful for. There was still no news of Gemma. Dorian had asked his father to enquire at the Ministry but he hadn’t been able to find out anything. She seemed to have simply vanished.
The two boys spent the afternoon outside. They had come out to the land behind Dorian’s house with their brooms and Adrian was desperate to get back in the air again. Being with his best friend on their brooms was almost enough to make him forget everything else and believe that it was this time last year, when everything had been so much simpler.
The afternoon had to come to an end of course, and Adrian was forced to face reality again.
–I’ll see you the train,†Dorian said when it was time to go. –I hope the rest of the week is okay.â€
–Thanks, I’ll see you then. â€
Dorian’s mother Apparated him home again. –Are you sure she doesn’t want me to at least pop in and say hello?†she asked when they got there. –I haven’t seen her in so long.â€
–I’m sure she’d be happy to see you, Mrs Whitbread, but she was suffering from a migraine this morning so I’m not sure it’s the best time.â€
–Well, please do tell her that I’m thinking of her,†she said. –And if you need anything, let me know, Adrian.â€
–Thanks,†he replied with a smile. –And thanks for having me this afternoon.â€
–Not at all. I must say I am glad to see you at our house again. I was dreadfully worried at Christmas when Dorian said you’d had a falling out. I’m glad it was nothing serious.â€
If only you knew, Adrian thought.
Relieved that he had successfully fended her off from coming inside, Adrian made his way in to the house alone. He hated how sad and empty it felt now. –Mum?†he called.
–In here,†she replied from the living room.
The room was almost in complete darkness but when he moved to open the curtains she stopped him. –My head,†she said by way of explanation.
–How was Dorian?â€
–Good. His mum sent her thoughts.â€
–I bet she did. She probably couldn’t wait to find out all our business.â€
–Mum, she’s your friend! Please, you’ve got to see someone sometime. They’ll understand that it’s not your fault.â€
–My fault? Who suggested that this was my fault? No, it’s all your father’s doing. He didn’t even stop to think about the situation he was leaving me in. People like us don’t just leave each other, Adrian. I will be a complete social outcast after this.â€
–But don’t you think there are more important things than what other people think?†Adrian asked, starting to feel more than a little fed up with his mum’s attitude.
–Adrian, I can’t have this conversation now. Don’t you have some homework to do?â€
In truth, Adrian had done his homework on the first day of the holiday, but he went to his room anyway. At least in there he didn’t have to walk on eggshells or sit in darkness. Though he had never thought he would, he was almost looking forward to being back at Hogwarts.