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Lily and Alice by Wenlock

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Chapter Notes: JK Rowling owns anything you recognize.
A Celebration and a Contest

Alice Campbell sat at her desk and carefully opened the box. Inside was her new badge and the stripes for her uniform. She had done it! Despite everyone’s doubt, despite her parents’ admonitions to find something more suitable for a lady, despite the long-held prejudices in the office, she finally had her badge. She was a full-fledged Auror.

–Congratulations, Campbell,” Frank Longbottom’s head popped up over the cubicle. –Robards told me you were getting your badge today. Let’s go out to dinner to celebrate when we’re done with this shift.”

–Yeah that sounds great. Leaky Cauldron? Have you told rest of the guys?”

–No, I - –

–Oi! Davis! You and Whyn wanna come to the Leaky with us tonight? You too, Moody.”


– - So then the hag turns to the vampire and says, ‘If you don’t want the blood -” Davis’ story was interrupted by a tall man in black.

–Well, well, well. If it isn’t Campbell, the little Gryffindor slut, ” sneered the man. –What would Mommy say if she saw you out to dinner with four men at once?”

Said men stood up. Longbottom and Moody whipped their wands out.

Alice just laughed. –Sit down, boys. No need to defend my honor; I can do that for myself.” She looked back at the dark-haired man, –Should I tell your friends about the last time you crossed me? As I recall, you cried like a little girl.”

He opened his mouth, but no words came out.

She continued, –You know, if you want someone to talk to you, try not insulting her next time. Also, you should Transfigure your face. Even if you botched the spell and ended up as a warthog, it’d still be an improvement.”

His hand twitched to his wand and Alice stood up. –I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Attacking an Auror in public... With your record, Lestrange, it’d be at least a month in Azkaban.”

–But you’re not - Scrimgeour wouldn’t hire a woman.”

She flashed him her badge and said, –I actually owe you a bit of a thank-you. I got the job because of you. Now get lost before I arrest you all for being illegally stupid.”

After they had gone, Alice breathed a sigh of relief.

Frank asked, –What was that about?”

She replied, –It was a long time ago and I’d rather not discuss it. Let’s just say I have good reason to despise that evil, arrogant son of a -”

–Language, Campbell! We’ve got a kid here,” laughed Davis, shooting a glance at Whyn.

–I’m eighteen!” Whyn protested.

–You’ve not even been on patrol yet.”

–Well at least I don’t still live with my mother.”

–Oh shut it, Whyn. I am clearly much cooler than you.”

Alice jumped in, grateful for the change in subject, –Let’s settle this with a little game. We’ll each get five shots. Go around the table and each person says something they’ve done. If you haven’t done it too, drink a shot.”

–Fine, but if you say something unbelievable, like ‘I got bit by a blibbering humdinger,’ you have to take a shot instead.” Davis said.

–I’m game, as long as there’s nothing age-related,” added Whyn –Oh and loser gets the tab.”

–I’m afraid I’d better go,” said Moody. –I have some things to do. Besides, I don’t do drinking games anyway. Might be poisoned.” He dropped a few coins on the table and walked out.

Frank laughed, –Alright. Looks like it’s just the four of us now. I’ll go order.”

While Frank was up, Moody came back. –I just remembered something. Campbell, can I have a word?”

–Yes, of course.”

Moody glared at Davis and Whyn. –Alone.”

They stood up and walked away.

–That’s better. Campbell, have you thought more about that thing I told you about?”

–What, the Order of th-”

–Don’t say the name here! You never know who may be listening!”

–Alright, alright. Yes. I’m interested. I’m still surprised you didn’t mention it to me sooner. I’ve known you for three years.”

–Yes, well, you can’t be too careful. And you had your training to worry about. Now take this,” he thrust a small bit of parchment into her hand, –memorize the instructions and then burn it. See you at tomorrow’s meeting. Tell no one”


When the drinks came, Frank went first. –I rode a motorbike through London.”

–Too easy. We’ve all done that,” said Davis, when no one drank, –Right then, my turn. Keeping with Longbottom’s theme, I jumped a motorbike.”

The others took a drink. Alice, whose turn it was, replied, –Child’s play. I may not have jumped one, but I did fly a motorbike over the city.”

–But isn’t that against the Statute of Secrecy?” asked Whyn.

–Yeah. Good thing it wasn't my bike. Oh, and it was dark.”

–I’m not sure I believe you.”

–Yeah, Campbell. We may have to rule this one out,” Davis agreed.

–In fact, it’s so outrageous, you may have to take a shot yourself,” said Frank, grinning.

–What if I can produce a witness?”


–A bloke who saw me do it just happens to be standing behind the bar.”

–How do we know he doesn’t just owe you a favor?”

–Walk over there with me, Frank. That way you can see if I pay him off or something.”

–Fair enough.”

There at the bar was a young, tired, sandy-haired man.

–Oh bother!” said Alice, –I’ve forgotten his name.”

–Oh that’s alright, I know him.”

–How do you -”

–Hey! Remus! How are you, mate?”

–Frank! So good to see you.” He turned to Alice, –You look familiar. Do I know you?”

–A bit. I was at that party last month.”

–Oh yes. You arrived with Sirius. He takes plenty of girls around on his motorbike, but I’ve never seen him allow someone else to drive it. How’d you manage that?”

–Blackmail,” she said cheerfully.

Remus Lupin was not alarmed. –About time someone holds something over his head. Might knock him down a peg or two. Mind sharing what you have on him?”

–I’m not sure Padfoot would appreciate that. Kinda defeats the purpose of blackmail.”

Now Remus looked worried.

–Lighten up! His secret’s safe with me. Um, we’d better get back to our table before Whyn and Davis get bored and leave.”

–Oh, I thought you were here on a date.”

Alice laughed. She didn’t see Frank’s expression darken ever so slightly as they walked back to the table.


–Well, Campbell was telling the truth. Bottoms up, boys.”

–Right then, my turn,” said Whyn, –I got kicked out of my parents’ house for bad behavior.”

After Frank had his shot, he said, –That’s a bit of a cheap shot. You know we all live at home.”

–Speak for yourself, Longbottom.” Alice still had four full glasses in front of her.

Davis piped up, –Quit stalling, Frank. It’s your turn.”

–Ok. I’ve arrested a Death Eater.”

–Fair enough. So, looks like we’ve all got two but Campbell,” said Davis, –This is where it gets fun. I went skinny dipping in the lake at Hogwarts.”

–Alright, we’re even now, except Whyn,” Alice remarked, looking around, –Um, I played on the Quidditch team that won the House Cup.”

–And now I’m out!” Whyn exclaimed, –Thanks a lot, Campbell. Your turn again, Longbottom.”

–I peed off a bridge.”

Davis snickered.

–What? I was eight!”

–S’alright. We’ve all done it, mate. Actually, come to think of it, not off a bridge.” Davis took a shot.

–Hello! Girl here! I haven’t peed off a bridge! Just wait ‘til I get my turn. You’ve opened up a whole new can of worms.”

–Not if you loose. Sorry, Campbell, but I really don’t want to hear about makeup or menstruation. I shaved my face this morning.”

–Yet another low blow. Taking advantage of something you can do because you’re a bloke. It’s not even that cool.”

–Fine. I have shagged a girl.”

Frank and Alice both took a drink. For Alice, it was her last. She glared at Davis.

–Would it’ve changed anything if I’d said I shagged someone?”

–No, but -”

–There you go. Don’t be sore loser. Your turn, Longbottom.”

–I got top of my class in Stealth and Tracking.”

–Fair enough. You win. Well that was fun. Who wants to go out dancing?”
Chapter Endnotes: Mr. Lognbottom has a rather unfortunate first name. Now I get to call him Friendzone Frank. Poor guy.

Also, quite a few people have read this story, but I only have 3 reviews. This is my first story, so I would love some feedback.