Why have I missed reviewing so muchof your poetry. Sometimes I wonder at myself - I'm a right numpty!

This is glorious. The sensuality in your words here is incredible and the stopry could be anyone's except that you've made it Harry and Ginny by use of hair and eye colour.

~Carole~ (9)

Author's Response: I think you did leave a review on my PA thread. Or was that Jess? Oops. Anyway, thankssssssssssss a zillion times. I was on a sensual mood while writing this. *cough*

There's a reason I'm not in SPEW (well, there's a few, but this is the main one) I'm not good at writing quality reviews. So don't expect anything spew worthy.

You know I love this story. I think you found Blaise's beautiful mother's voice remarkably clearly in this fic. She's not the totally calculating and ruthless woman we've been lead to believe, for she does have some feelings - passion perhaps for certain people.

I think ther formal stule you employed in this tale really helped drive the fic. It was her if you see what I mean. I particularly liked the details you put in about her sixth husband and how he died by his own hand. And the way she can't bear the eyes staring out at her ... although it doesn't seem to affect her for long, I have to say.

She's different from my Karis (formerly Zanini now Flint) altough they both have that cold streak running through them and the one person they seem to care for is Blaise. (I b29; Blaise *sigh*)

Good luck in the challenge; this really is brilliant, Jess, so I don't think you need my good luck wishes.

~Carole~

Author's Response:

As you know, I heart you mucho, and your reviews always make me smile. You pick out what you liked and what you don't (though that seems to be inapplicable in this case), which is more than 75% of all reviewers (actually, probably higher). Who cares if they're not a mile long? I don't. I just care that you read it and liked it. :D

I wanted her to be someone that the audience favoured, but not completely. I debated whether to go into more details about further husbands (most of which died for evidence reasons, as they each found out about the successive ones/vicious cycle/causality loop/blah blah), but I thought the slice of humanity with the sixth one was enough to make her not the COMPLETE villain, which was important.

Thanks for reading! I must troll your author page again soon. 

Luvvv,

Jess

Now then, you say this is fluff. Hmm, it is not fluff, or at least it is fluff of the highest quality because:

a) The letter is heartfelt

b) Draco's appearance turns it into a good fic.

Draco is wonderful. His cynicism about Potter, his anger with the Ministry and his fear of 'hostile Weasleys' are so IC. And I adored how he was actually sorry about Fred dying.

I know you dislike this, but I found it warm, funny and ... just very in character for all of them.

~Carole~

Author's Response:

Thank you, Madam Caroleeeee. :D

I put Draco in it so I could bear to finish writing it. I needed a medium of delivery, since I think Harry would never have given it to her, but Draco was my personal indulgence.

I tried to make it IC without taking away from the fluff. Amanda loves fluff, as you know, so I couldn't leave that out, now could I?

Thanks for reading...it still gets me that it's read so much, but I haven't got any bad reviews for it, so I acknowledge that it isn't completely hideous, lol.

Jess

OOOH, I think this is lovely. You know, I'd never considered Hannah and Nevilles tragic connection - that they both lost thier mums, and this has sparked something off in me now *ponders*.

Lori, this is so sweet and I can really see why this pair were meant to be together. I like how you've woven the canon in so well - Erne being her best friend, Hermione not really being a 'girly girl' either. You've done such a good job.

Mnor britpick - we say 'mum' not 'mom' but that's me being my usual annoying self so ignore me.

I have to admit to crying when I realised what hannah had done with the sweet wrapper - very touching moment, I just hope Neville doesn't cry too much when he sees it. Oh, and I laughed when her Dad was calling her and Neville was grumbling. Just wait one more day, Neville! He (Neville I mean) was great in the story. Confident and caring, just the attributes we see in the books (especially the last one).

Lovely story, but sorry about the rather rambling review. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Carole, you have made my day. I'm so glad you liked this. I confess I was not sure Neville and Hannah were the right choice for this prompt, but once I got going, I enjoyed writing it very much. I've been drabbling about them a bit, too... okay, just once, but that is in TTB. I do think the connection of their sadness would have been something that drew them to one another. Shared pain is a powerful connection in all kinds of relationships, I think. Thanks for the correction. I actually used the word two or three times in this, but missed one of those. I'm glad you caught it. I always like knowing those things... so easy to fix, unlike a broken jaw that never stops talking. HA! (which I plan to correct over the summer) I sort of think Neville should discover the wrapper there on his own. He's into flowers, right? So maybe he's looking at the arrangement later, at the reception, and he feels it there like Hermione did... aw, I really love these two. Thanks so much for the lovely review, Carole!

“No offense, Weasley,” Molly said, raising an eyebrow at him. “I don’t think you’ve got the stomach for this. Why don’t you... I don’t know... go play with some plugs before class or something?”

Crying with laughter. Awww, poor Arthur. I hope Molly learns her lesson (but I doubt it.) Kara, this is a real gem of a story. You kept me guessing, I really thought Bellatrix was going to get her just desserts, so it was clever that she didn't. I should have known, though, as I did set this particular challenge - ha ha.

I think what I like the most is your characterisation. Mollly is great - not as naughty as the Twins and has a certain amount of responsibility - I'm thinking that she's quite Ron like (ahhh, good old Ron). Arthur is great. Mild mannered and yet he stands up to Molly and proves himself worthy. And so onto Bellatrix. The temptation with Bellatrix is always to make her EVIL from birth, when in all liklihood she probably wasn't. You have her as b itchy, but not a total psychotic murderer, and I like that.

Great job on an original fic using underused characters. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Haha thank you so much, Carole!

Yeah, I always thought Molly was a lot like Ron might have been if he hadn't been so busy fighting evil from year one... Molly can be a bit unfair, and a bit of a hothead, but she would never really want to hurt anyone she likes. It's just because Bellatrix is such a bitch, and they are teenagers, and...

It's a shame though, that Bellatrix never did get her boils, isn't it...

I really like writing Molly and Arthur... I might write a chaptered story some day, if I ever get enough ideas...

Lets' see. You say you have trouble writing Remus ... I disagree. You're unsure the OC's were successful ... I disagree. This fic is wonderful. I write a lot of Remus/Tonks and you nailed him totally. I loved the fact that he wasn't a novice at 'love', that he'd had relationships before Tonks. The seven females who loved him were such good choices. Ginny took me by surprise ... but it fitted totally. And he would help her, he was that kind of man.

My favourite section was Tonks with the peach butter (and no I've never tried it but will now). As I said, I write Tonks/Remus myself, so the fact that this capitavated me so much is a feat in itself because usually I'm uber critical. (not that I'm an expert, I just have my ideas firmly entrenched about the pair) I think my second favourite is Andromeda - you bringing in Teddy at the end made me want to weep.

I don't quite know what to say without sounding like a gushing fangirl ... uh ... I think I already am one. Just Brilliant! ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad that someone who's experienced in writing Remus/Tonks thinks I did him justice. I really was nervous (I stick pretty firmly in my writing to Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione, and Lily/James). I'm glad you liked that he wasn't a novice at "love" and that you enjoyed the OCs and Ginny's part :) And I'm glad you liked the section with Tonks -- I spent ages on that one section, so I'm so happy to know you enjoyed it! Please feel free to sound as much like a gushing fangirl as you want ;)

WOW! This is fantastic. I have to say I don't think I've read a fic about an OC where I've cared as much about them. You built up such an interesting and complicated character and a great story too.

Then the strangest thing happened: a fuzzy lump lodged itself in the back of Kenley’s throat and tears began to scratch at the back of her eyes. I LOVE.THIS. LINE. I'm just in the middle of writing something where I talk about a lump in the throat, and it's so mundane now I reread it. Your words here are so touching and powerful.

I like your James in this story. Not embarrassed about being Harry's son, enjoying time with his uncle, yet willing to admit he can make a mistake. There's no grand romance, but you feel that maybe it could blossom into something.

I am wondering why she is in Slytherin, but I actually like the enigma surrounding her. She seems to be a loner, with few friends - the camera explains a lot because she's on the side of it that takes the pictures rather than being the one in the picture. (am I making any sense here?) .

I think this is an extrememly strong contender in the challenge (Yay to Hufflepuff) - so good luck. It would be a deserved winner. Well done ~Carole~

Author's Response: Isn't it awful to sit around trying to think of different ways to express that someone is trying not to cry? Man alive, the battle! I'm glad you think this line worked here, but I do struggle with that all the time... there are only so many ways to say it. I think my heart did a little flip when you said you cared about Kenley. She is complicated, and she has some negative traits (defensive, untrusting) that made me fear she would not be accessible or likable to readers. So that is just so good to hear. I'm glad James seemed all right. I want to be true to what we know from the epilogue, but he is not going to be his grandfather made over... that just seems very unlikely to me. "There's no grand romance, but you feel that maybe it could blossom into something." This makes me smile. Why she is in Slytherin. Yes, one person did tell me I needed to say more about this, and I know I risk a little with the challenge by holding back... but I think part of an interesting character is leaving some things to wonder about. What's interesting about knowing absolutely everything and this character is just an open book. She's not an open book. And I think I hinted here that the reasons she is in Slytherin are not exactly clear to her, even here in her seventh year. I sort of wish we could all sit down and discuss the next-gen Slytherin thing over coffee (or diet Coke, since i hate coffee). Assuming these students are not harboring DE agendas anymore, and that many of them would be a bit more enlightened in terms of maybe not holding to past prejudices... what would cause the hat to sort someone into Slytherin? Perhaps pureblood families, or children of those who had been in Slytherin... but there would be other kinds of Slytherins, too, I think. Not such a cut-and-dry sorting at this time, maybe? But yes, there is mystery around it, and I like it that way, too. Look how I'm going on. Thanks so much for the lovely review, Carole. I was very nervous about this, but now I'm feeling encouraged to keep on with this story--yay! (oh, and very perceptive about the camera)

Hello. I rather like this. Thatcher is a well-drawn character and some of your description about his skills, feelings and memories is excellent. I liked the story as well. It wasn't just a character study, but there was a plot behind the fic. So well done for that.

I must admit that I had to re-read several passages because I found some of it rather confusing. Namely the whole scene with Rodolphus and Rosier, because I couldn't understand how Mad-Eye couldn't hear what was going on between Thatcher and Rodolphus. Also it seemed that this mission was happening in an extraordinarily public place. Tower Bridge is a very busy place at all times of day and night - it's a big tourist attraction, so I'm kinda wondering why the odd Muggle policeman or three didn't turn up. The car flipping over confused me as well, because you didn't give us any warning that it was about to hit Thatcher until Mad-Eye disposed of it He struggled for an argument finally stopped the man as he headed out into the street. He cast an Impediment Jink on a car, causing it flip in the other direction. I'm not saying that you should have written something as basic as a car nearly ran over Thatcher, but perhaps a line somewhere as he's crossing the road about a car hooting, or something. Also it should be 'Jinx' and not 'Jink'. (Also I think you need a comma after finally as the sentence doesn't make sense) There were a number of other minor errors - typos I should think, like Aurors fingers is missing the possessive apostrophe and the passage where he finds his dead wife has the word 'slink' instead of silk (or is it slinky?) and a grey creature 'lat' instead of lay.

The scene at the end - the funeral - is very touching. He basically has nothing he values anymore, except perhaps himself, and I can see he's struggling to value even that. I like the way you included Mad-Eye's nose - or lack of it - ha ha. I think your portrayal of Mad-Eye is a particular highlight of the fic; he's very IC. I would have liked to see a bit more of Dumbledore's purple prose. He has a wonderful lyrical quality to his speech, which you hinted at, but didn't write. I think that's a shame because it would have provided a good contrast to the blunt Moody and taciturn Thatcher.

All in all, though, I thought this was a good story with a strong grasp of your character. Good luck for the challenge. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Carole, Thank you for being so honest. I knew that I should have spent more time on this thing. It doesn’t make sense. Revision. I will get to it. Maybe I should do it tonight. Yeah, the car scene definitely will be deleted. You know why I that? I plugged in whatever came to my fingers. I never wrote completely all the way through without scrutinizing all the way through. I should have. I haven’t written much recently, not that that’s even a viable excuse. I need to read over my stuff. It’s called proofreading. Do it. It saves lives. Thatcher’s actually been in my head forever and a day. Since last summer, at least, so that’s all I can give to his being even the slightest fleshed out. I’ve glad that’s he’s been revived. In fact, I’ve written another draft of this, and I lke it better because it explains the holes. I wish that I could exchange it, but that would mean that I missed the deadline. I’m an idiot; that’s the closest I ever get to complimenting myself, especially with regards to these drafts. In true writing, as I’ve learned, you go through drafts and drafts. Anyway, I’m glad that you liked the funeral scene. I don’t know why I’m on this Catholic fix (Flannery O’Connor?), but it just ... it won’t go away. It’s funny. I do need to work on that relationship. In my head, and in a composition book, I have this draft of Dumbledore, Mad-Eye and Thatch sitting in a pub. I’ve probably bored you by now. See? I told you I’ve been working on this forever. It’s random. It’s so random, especially when Aberforth walks in. Dumbledore’s hard to write. JKR’s to be commended for that alone. There needs to be more there. Well, I’ll clean this up and rework it. Thank you for your suggestions. You are good. Sorry it took so long to respond. Jen

OOH! Gina, this is lovely. Wow! I never really appreciated how good you are at scene-setting, but those first few paragraphs in the woods are amazing. I really felt that I was there with them both (actually I rather hoped I was- ha ha). I love the circumstances that you've built up around them getting married, James' proposal and of course one of the times they defied Voldemort.

Good luck in the challenge. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thank you for the compliment, Carole! Your comment made me think that I wouldn't mind hanging out with James and Sirius myself sometimes, lol! Thank you for coming to read this, I really appreciate the review! ~Gina :)

OH WOW! There I was marvelling - again- at your fabulous descriptive powers and the great touches you put in (the string quartet - (LOVELY). I was reading and smiling all the way as they got married - what a beautiful ceremony ... and then you pull off the most amazing fight scene. WOW WOW WOW! Just so exciting. I literally laughed out loud when Sirius said 'That bastard's crashed your wedding.' ha ha ha - master of the understatement is Mr Black. I also cheered when Bellatrix got jinxed heh heh.

Ack, I have a nit-pick ... When Lily steps into the circle, she says her name is Lily Anna Potter. It should be Evans, shouldn't it?

I thought you characterised everyone very well throughout this chapter, but what stood out for me the most was the excitement. Please finish this soon! ~Carole~

Author's Response: Carole, thank you so much! I was really hoping readers would get to the battle and have some sort of reaction like that. I worked hard on it so I'm glad it worked so well. I appreciate the comments on the characters as well. And thank you for pointing out a very stupid mistake - OF COURSE it should be Lily Evans, not Lily Potter, and I fixed it before I even responded. *headdesk* Thank you for reading and for all your support around the boards and AIM! ~Gina :)