06/07/05
elwenyare.livejournal.com
I am in college, American, and in love with God. I enjoy reading, writing, music (playing, singing, listening), my friends and family.
I am a compulsive editor. This means that while new chapters may come infrequently (translation: I write slowly), the older chapters are always under revision. Check back now and again to read the new and improved versions! Also, I've been working on Britishisms, but as an American, my knowledge is limited. Please, feel free to (gently) Britpick.
I also write a lot of drabbles, which you can find by following that link to my website, along with some poetry and original fiction.
Lovely banner thanks to GinnyPotter!
This banner is thanks to the wonderful TheVanishingAct!
At The Ceili: This is a Christmas gift for Cinderella Angelina, a beloved fellow SPEW member. The title comes from the song it is based on, performed by the very excellent group Celtic Woman. Enjoy, Leslie!
Gold: This was originally the third chapter of In His Own Right, but I felt that it really didn’t fit with the others, so now it is a sequel.
Hide and Seek: This slightly lengthy one-shot deals with the choice between good and evil. It’s under Romance only because it didn’t fit in any of the General categories.
Home To Stay: Based on and set around a song by Josh Groban (same title), Hermione goes travelling Europe, trying to find what she’s lost during the War. Ron waits for her, living for the short notes that she sends to Ginny, waiting for the day when Hermione will be ready to come home for good.
In His Own Right: It was after writing my SPEW 007 challenge (seven prompts, one character) that I really came to appreciate Neville. He’s been through a lot, but he is strong and capable—he just needs a chance to show it. (It has a sequel in Gold.)
Left, Right, and Centre: This began as an attempt to understand why the relationship between Bill Weasley and Fleur Delacour seems to work, though no one else understands why. The reason? Fleur isn’t the idiot everyone thinks she is.
Love Is Not a Simple Thing: For now, this is a one-shot (its continuation is unlikely, and depends on the revival of a long-dormant plot bunny). It is a Remus/Hermione romance, but features no time travel. Instead, the setup comes during Hermione’s school years. Following chapters (if they appear) will follow their growing relationship during the war and post-war years.
So She Dances: One of my personal favourites. It's based on the Josh Groban song of the same name, and is a Neville/Ginny missing moment from GoF. It was the first atmosphere-based piece I wrote, and it came out quite nicely.
The Unknown: Also Neville-based, I consider this the best thing I have yet written. It's a little darker, but very real, with hope at its end.
Transformations: This is a Remus/Tonks, my first—and most ambitious—project. It began back in August 2005 and has been heavily rewritten and edited in preparation for the long-awaited finish. It will be around 11 or 12 chapters when finished
Waiting: This is a post-HBP one-shot, now AU. It was written for the S.P.E.W. Anniversary Challenge: Friends discussing changes since the one-year anniversary of an event (in this case, the death of Dumbledore).
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Anniversary by Mugglechump
Rated: Professors •Summary: Ginny commemorates the fifth anniversary of her death and finds herself face to face with someone from her past.
Date: 06/11/06 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5
Great chapter. It has explanation that isn't boring, and it has emotion. I love that bit about Draco waking up -- he's so nice now. And Erin/Ginny is great. She's hardened, but she's believable. Short, sweet, and leaves me waiting for more!
Date: 08/26/06 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7
Very good; quick, thorough explanation of Ginny-meet-Lucius. Good ending; it's sort of funny to picture Draco opening the door to find his father holding the woman with whom Draco just spent the night!
Only bad thing? Short! I cannot wait for the next part!
A Wolf in the Moonlight by Kerichi
Rated: 6th-7th Years •
Summary: When her old pal Rory calls in a favour, Tonks searches for a missing girl with the help of her new love Remus and his 'dog' Snuffles
*Sequel to Once in a Blue Moon*
*Ch 20 Quote*
It was the happiest Christmas of my life.
Date: 01/16/06 Title: Chapter 2: Moonlight Confessions
Your skill for dramatic endings remains, I see. Pretty good chapter. I like that Tonks and Remus have worked something so that he respects her enough to make her own decisions, but obviously cares very much about her safety.
Sirius is a bit odd. Yes, he must have been that exuberant once, but I wonder if he's still that way. From what we saw of him, he became darker after leaving Azkaban, although Brooding!Sirius is not generally good either. You did a good job of putting in those bits of him remembering his lost years and liberty.
Remus is more affectionate publicly than I would have expected from him, but then that's been a theme from your stories, so that works fairly well. Not bad at all.
Author's Response: I think of Sirius as deliberately cheerful, determined to keep his mind off the past. Only when he's cooped up in Grimmauld does the past catch up to him. (which you'll see in a story down the road, lol at my ambition) For now, he's got his eye on living life to its fullest. I've always thought Remus, like most adults, shows a different side to children than friends and lovers, so I make him a bit bolder, like the Gryffindor and Marauder that he was, than Harry would see, or that he'd be in darker times, which is why next chap...eh, you'll see.... ^_~
Author's Response: I think of Sirius as deliberately cheerful, determined to keep his mind off the past. Only when he's cooped up in Grimmauld does the past catch up to him. (which you'll see in a story down the road, lol at my ambition) For now, he's got his eye on living life to its fullest. I've always thought Remus, like most adults, shows a different side to children than friends and lovers, so I make him a bit bolder, like the Gryffindor and Marauder that he was, than Harry would see, or that he'd be in darker times, which is why next chap...eh, you'll see.... ^_~
Date: 02/18/06 Title: Chapter 7: Reflections of Moonlight
This chapter seems to me to be one of the best in this story. It’s more cohesive and works more towards character development.
Love the humor bits:
I was a killer. The victim was a cell phone, but I still felt guilty as I stepped into a telephone box to make the call.
…like stick around to ask Mr. Santini what his intentions toward my grandmother were. I’d heard about those old Muggle men and their pills. HA!
This bit’s missing some punctuation. I don’t quite understand what you’re trying to say:
“He’ll remind her he’s not that lump she divorced who went off with some bit of fluff to ‘find himself’Rory knows what it’s like not to have a Da.”
Since I don’t know what it says, I won’t recommend anything, but I’m sure you can fix it yourself.
I really like the part about Remus stocking shelves, and the way Tonks thinks about how she wouldn’t handle the situation as well. It’s a great character bit for both of them, including Remus' lie about the job -- adds something to Remus we haven't seen before. What we have seen is absolute honesty, but it's not at all out of the question that he would crack now and again. Also, your explanation about Remus’ parents was nice and short, but concise. Also, you’re doing a good job of making Rory mysterious and rather menacing, but not evil. Keep it up!
Author's Response: Thanks for pointing out the punctuation! Somehow, the period before "Rory" got backspace or splinched, lol. It's fixed now, and says "Rory knows what it's like not to have a Da."
As for Remus, he's telling the truth, just not the whole truth, and you'll see why in a few chapters, lol.
Thanks for appreciating my humour- makes my day! ^_^
Thanks for saying that about Rory, because he's not evil, but you don't want to make him angry, heh.
Date: 02/11/06 Title: Chapter 6: Memories and Moonlight
That was very cute. I like the temporary memory loss idea, as well as the meeting with Evan. It shows that Evan's not completely evil and that Tonks loves Remus enough to recognize their connection through the memory loss. I like it lots.
Author's Response: Thanks! I couldn't make it longer than a chap- visions of evil twins, 'who's the father' and other soap plots scaring me straight, lol- but I did enjoy showing 'the heart doesn't lie', and like Drew Barrymore said in 'Fifty First Dates', "There's nothing like a first kiss." ^_^
Mummy's Story by sesiliah
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Seven years after the Second Wizard War, a mother tells her daughter the story of the man she loves, who disappeared after the war ended to save his and his lover’s life. The Wizarding World has settled down again, peace returning to them after the defeat of Lord Voldemort. Written in first person, present tense, from the point of view of a seven year old girl.
Date: 04/05/06 Title: Chapter 2: To Know Your Name
I really like this. I like that it's open-ended, that Draco is not actually "dead", just not there. I do find it interesting that Ginny dated him when he was a Death Eater. It's a unique situation; usually he's actually secretly in the Order, or hates Voldemort.
Cissa is quite precocious for a child of -- what, seven? -- but children often know more than we give them credit for.
I like your idea that Harry and Ron simply won't understand Rose's eyes. It's the kind of thing that Ron, at least, would do. I can see Harry also refusing to believe it.
I applaud your newspaper clippings, both the idea and the style in which they are written. Draco's life as told by impersonal writers. Harry's quote about wanting him locked up is especially good.
I also like Luna. Even though she's only a minor character in this story, she's very realistic. So is the idea of the Quibbler being used to send secret messages. It's just the sort of thing that's so odd it would work!
I really like what you're doing with this. I'll be back to read the rest!
Author's Response: Thank you so much!! I don't think you guys understand how happy reviews like this make me. ^^ I'll bring Luna back in, I love writing her - you can do whatever you want with her! I'm glad you're enjoying it. Chapter Three is in queue, in which we see more of Draco's personality while he was in hiding - I hope this doesn't ruin the fact "that it's open-ended, that Draco is not actually "dead", just not there". >.< I don't want to give away that much, but I will say it won't be so open-ended later on. You'll see how exactly Draco managed through those four years. Once again, thanks for the review! <33
Date: 04/29/06 Title: Chapter 4: I've Seen Those Eyes
I really like the way this is going. I really like all your characters -- the way Harry sort of knows but doesn't, who Rose's father is, how the boys still want to catch up with Snape, and how you've wrapped up a load of Death Eaters. Very nice!
Date: 02/01/06 Title: None
A new and interesting idea. The new professor’s name may be slightly clichéd, but I have a soft spot for it anyway (the last name). I also think Tristan is a good Wizarding sort of name.
What you’ve got is fine, plot- and character-wise, but there are some grammar issues.
“Now is there a reason you had to make me make an ass of myself before the feast even begins? You know I like to wait until the food is here at least.” Katie said with a smile on her face, she did have a habit of getting people’s unwanted attention. Not a very helpful talent, if you ask her.
Actually, the biggest thing about this excerpt is the last sentence. You’re making us aware that we’re reading a story, by speaking directly to us (“if you ask her”). Usually, you don’t want to do that. You could say instead: “Some people considered it a rather unhelpful talent”, or some such.
Then he introduced the newest staff member, a brand new professor from the Ministry, Tristan Darcy, he would be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts.
The last part of this sentence should be a new sentence: “…Tristan Darcy. He would be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts.” If you want, you could use a semicolon. Otherwise, it’s a run-on sentence.
Katie got the same ill feeling and when the food finally appeared on the table Katie could hardly get herself to eat any food, she mostly just pushed the food around with her fork. What was going on? Katie loved eating, why was she not hungry anymore?
You have a couple of issues with comma usage. I recommend the MNFF Dialogue Writing Tip in the Help section. It’s really helpful.
So, nice start, plot-wise. Should turn out to be interesting. Keep working!
Date: 01/23/06 Title: None
Not bad. A few comments:
First, the flirting. If Remus broke it off with Tonks because he thought it was too dangerous for them to be together, why does he flirt with her? “Ah yes, but might I remind you, that I prefer to call you Nymphadora?” he answered. “It’s a very nice name. It suits you.” This man is talking to his ex-girlfriend who wants him back, and this probably isn’t the best way to get her to stay away. (Side note: is “wow” really a Remus sort of thing?)
The hair potion made me laugh. Nice job. I suppose the implication is that Fred and George did it?
”Maybe he’s felling odd.” I think this was supposed to be “feeling” odd.
One other thing: Hermione seems kind of inconsistent. She says, “You know it was for the best,” but she also says, ”Wait until Remus sees you.”
Quite cute, really. Oh, I also have to say that you have a talent for small details. Tonks wobbling across the lawn on her heeled shoes is a quick, easy bit that really helps us to see her. Also, things like Fleur’s bad hair day: “My ‘air! Eet ez ruined!” she sobbed. Ginny held back a laugh with difficulty. Great with the accent, and excellent characterization for both of them. Overall, keep putting more of that in, and watch the consistency.
Author's Response: I think Remus flirting will be cleared up for you in chapter 3 (hopefully) and thanks for the tips and thanks for reviewing.
Author's Response: Also, Hermione is inconsistent because she's trying not to take sides/opinions. the whole ”Wait until Remus sees you.” thing is really just to cheer Tonks up because she is feeling so down.
Date: 02/13/06 Title: None
Not bad. I really like Tonks' contemplation of the flowers. It's a very nice description/metaphor. Arthur's chastisment of Remus is also quite cute. The one thing I'm not quite sure of is the way Tonks leaves when Remus tells her they should break it off -- she doesn't seem to try to hold on to him very hard. In any case, very nice, will be back for more!
Author's Response: Thanks!! Tonks leaves like that because she is in shock and she really needed to be alone. We can assume she tried to keep talking to him about it after that little scene.
Date: 01/20/06 Title: None
Very nice. Comments: There's a few grammatical things here.
Well sort of. They were holding hands at Dumbledore’s funeral weren’t they?
There should be a couple more commas here, so: "Well, sort of. .. funeral, weren't they?" It helps a lot if you read it out loud once you're done. You can really hear the flow that way.
I like the scene of her in her rooms. It's good how you had her hair change, then fade again.
Also: “Oh, Tonks!! It’s so wonderful to see you!”
I understand the extra !, but it's unprofessional in writing. If you want, you could split that a bit and add something about Molly looking delighted or some such.
I like it. It's a cute view of their beginning and it's a nice variation on the "after Dumbledore" time. It's a good reason for the breakup, that Remus is afraid he won't be able to be with her, really. That is what it comes down to. Maybe you could outright say that. It would help to clear things up a bit.
Author's Response: Thanks for the tips and for reviewing.
Tragedies, Tears and Black Velvet Boxes by Oppungo
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: It's nearly six months after the war, and when Molly Weasley reads the days' newspaper, in it is an article that forces her to reminisce over the events of the war, the effects of it on her life and the lives of those close to her. Meanwhile, Ron has news of his own…
Date: 02/19/06 Title: Chapter 1: News
Very very good. I like the way that you recalled Mrs. Weasley's boggart, and the way Lucius went a little bit nuts. Ron's grown up nicely, but is still himself. Nice job of mentioning the deaths without making too huge a deal of it, and the alteration of the clock is a nice touch.
The fact that there is very little actual speech during the backstory is a bit confusing, but not so much as to completely throw the story off.
Very excellent story. The ending is terrific, so unexpected and so heartbreaking. I think that's my favorite part, twisted as I must be!
Author's Response: I really love getting your reviews (well, I love getting any reviews, but whatever!!), they're always so insightful, with praise and constructive criticism =) It's funny, I usually like to include more speech, but I went totally in the other direction with this one - but you're right, I probably should have linked it better. I'm so pleased you liked it - even, and especially, the ending!! Thanks again for an amazing review!!
What's Left of Me by annie
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: After a year in Azkaban, the day of Draco Malfoy's execution has finally arrived. As he makes the long journey from his prison cell to the execution room, he reflects upon what was and what could have been.
Date: 02/14/06 Title: Chapter 1: What's Left of Me
Woah. Very well done. You don't explain why Draco loved Hermione, but you did a great job of explaning everything while not telling the whole story, if that makes sense. It's very intriguing, though. Wonderful portrayal of the characters. 10/10
Of Spirit and Fire and Dew by bredalot
Rated: 6th-7th Years •Summary: Songfic in which Tonks compares old boyfriends to Remus. To the song "Tall, Dark, Handsome Stranger" by Heart.
Date: 02/06/06 Title: Chapter 1: Of Spirit and Fire and Dew
I really like this. At first glance, it made me a little wary -- Tonks' old boyfriends? -- but you pulled it off wonderfully. It's very true about how many girls are attracted to danger, that edge, and you've gotten across very well how she loves that about him, as well as how much he cares for her and tries to protect her by hiding it. I like it and I will be back for more!
Author's Response: Thanks! I know, I'm fair awful at writing summaries, but I'm glad to know you liked it.
Oread, Walking by Seren
Rated: • Summary: Cedric was just as odd as Hermione, because he liked to walk. Cedric/Hermione
Date: 06/29/06 Title: Chapter 1: Oread, Walking
Wow. That's really beautiful. It's a little OOC, but in a convincing way. It's very sweet, certainly realistic. I love it.
Ever the Same by expecto_patronum_this
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: A songfic that carries you through the years of Hermione and Ron, letting you watch them grow together. Be warned: 'tis fluff to the max.
Date: 06/26/06 Title: Chapter 1: Ever the Same
Awwww! How incredibly cute! I like how you mixed a few canon moments and invented a few. It was fluffy, yes, but quite realistic. Lovely job with the "fight" and the wedding. I like the beginning/ending theme, unifies the story. Good, sparing use of lyrics, too, not all over the place.
Author's Response: *blush* Thank you! It\'s been so long since I wrote this story, but i still love seeing it get reviewed. I\'m glad you enjoyed it and took the time to let me know what you thought! :)
Girl Meets Wolf; or The Unlikely Love Story of Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks by hannahlinnekamp
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Behold! Here is the story of what happened behind the scenes in OOTP and HBP, the story of a feisty Metamorphmagus who falls in love with a hesitant werewolf.
Chapter one, Call me Tonks, describes their first encounter. It takes place at the beginning of OOTP.
Read and review, but most of all, enjoy!
PS: Does not contain HBP spoilers, but further chapters will (but you really should have read it by now, of course).
Edit: I had always planned to continue this tale, but never had the time. Unfortunately, in light of recent tragic events in Deathly Hallows, I'm really not very motivated to write the rest of the story... So this is the first and only chapter. Sorry guys. Still, enjoy!
Date: 02/14/06 Title: Chapter 1: Call Me Tonks
Very, very nice. I like it a lot. In fact, I like it so much that I had better finish my own version of this story before I end up stealing your ideas! The characterization is good, the dialogue suitable -- generally very nice. No grammer mistakes, either, which drive me wild. Oh, and I really like the title. Great job, will be back for the rest!
Discovering the Bible in the House of Gaunt by Vindictus Viridian
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: After his task is completed, Draco finds himself left alone to consider his assumptions. He finds interesting reading material to help him along as he frets in an abandoned hovel. This was a Ravenclaw entry for the February Challenges, in the "Love Yourself" category, in which the character had to feel better about himself at the end than at the beginning, and contains some adult themes and HBP spoilers.
Date: 03/15/06 Title: Chapter 1: Discovering the Bible in the House of Gaunt
Wow. I'm impressed. Very convincing, and I loved Draco's reaction to Hadrian. For someone who used to have it all, he never really did. The family tree itself is a fascinating concept, the way it works and the fact that there is no longer any Pure Blood anywhere. 10/10.
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! I enjoyed writing this odd little story, and making all sorts of Slytherin-shocking conjectures. Was there ever such a thing as a Pureblood? I'm an only child myself, and know the temptation to wonder what siblings would have been like, especially if there is an almost-sibling somewhere in the past.
At the Little House With the Garden by Masked One
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: The little house with the garden is a happy place to be, despite all of it’s oddities. But it’s a house that takes a certain outlook on life, and not everyone fits. Harry and Luna are interviewing babysitters for their son. Warning for utterly silly fluff with some more serious undertones.
Date: 03/19/06 Title: Chapter 1: Interviews
Hm. I'm not quite sure what to feel about that, but it's very good. There were several things I really liked about this fic. It had a kind of dreamy feel, with the sounds and the repetition of the "house with a garden bit". I also thought it very clever that it was actually easier for Jon to speak Parseltongue -- it makes perfect sense. So does the rather lengthy, slightly over-protective interview process. It's all very sweet, and it makes me curious about the rest of Jon's story. Great job!
The Herm-Own-Ninny Manouevre by the nutty imp
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: In love and in Quidditch, being the first to catch the Snitch does matter. Yet it does not necessarily mean a win.
Pairing: Hermione/Viktor
Date: 02/25/06 Title: Chapter 1: Challenge # 5 (Valentine's Challenge)
I like it! Viktor doesn't get much time. Even though Hermione writes him, we have no idea what it is either of them is saying. I like the way you've filled in the gaps for all the time from meeting to "now." It's very true to Hermione and very true to what little we know of Krum. Karkaroff's bit is great, as well; as a former Death Eater he would have been like that.
The way that you cleared up their relationship at the end was very smooth. I like it. It's great for a first Romance -- don't stop writing them!
Author's Response: Thank you. I hope the next time I try, there'll be some improvement :)