Absolutely inspiring, Seren. Yet again, you have paralleled your story plot and theme with real world subjects and controversy; the thoughts of everyday people coming to life through the budding friendship of Hermione and Luna. What a beautiful web you weave with the profound musings of two ordinary Hogwarts students!

Besides a couple typos, there is nothing bad I have to say about this. Such a mature subject matter and so well done. The flawless continuity and flow of this piece leaves me with a warm tenderness in my heart. I love seeing stories where Luna and Hermione debate and/or get along, and your characterizations, I believe, were right on the mark. I can so relate to both characters, especially Hermione and her seasonal allergies. (Oh how allergies wreak havoc on my life!)

Anyway, I think I have gushed enough. Lovely work and, of course, I impatiently wait for another wonderful one-shot by you.

Wonderful beginning; Your story has great potential. I've read many Remus fictions with him as a child, and so far, out of all, you have the most realistic parents I've ever seen. I even like the names you chose. I, also, am loving seeing Remus as a two-year old, which is quite a feat. Kudos.

Besides a few punctuation errors and typos, everything was fine. You have a knack for description, though I think you could have used a few better vocab. words. In the beginning, some of the sentences seemed a bit choppy, but it became less apparent as I read.

The emotions in this are very real. The seer's readings are well-done, too. The tarot cards were a wonderful effect to add; That was one of my favorite parts. And she was quite whimsical, though a teeny bit over the top. Otherwise, I really liked her. I'm hoping we'll be seeing more of her.

Overall, I fairly enjoyed this and anticipate the second chapter—keep up the great work. I have a feeling that things are going to get worse before they get better for the Lupin family.

Author's Response: My computer didn't pick up on the typos. I checked about a dozen times. I know I'm not used to describing and next time I will use much better words. I no nothing about tarot cards so I'm glad you liked it. You will see more about her in this fic if you keep reading but she's not quite what she seems. (Hides fact that she has the ending and plot twist already planned out.) I'm a big fan of M. Night Shyamalan and like how he does it with his movies, this fic will have a plot twist. Things will be much worse for the Lupin family as hinted in chapter one during the card part. There was one line in there that hints for a terrible event in the family.

Hmm... Interesting story you have here. I liked it, but I think it could use a bit of work. Your plot is simple enough, but hard to detect. It doesn't stand out. From reading the first chapter, I detect that this story could have potential but needs quite a bit more development and description. Your characters are also a tad out-of-character.

Your fiction is good, but I'd definitely recommend a lot more showing and less telling.

This story was utterly moving. The characterisations, plot, and setting were well-done and flowed nicely. I loved each scene and their respective themes. Such an original idea and unique writing style... ::content sigh::

I have no constructive criticism for this. Your story left me speechless, and I was close to tears by the end. Peter's betrayal and the reference to his previous quote on loyalty... Brilliant! Sirius' story was saddest to me. It was an intriguing change-of-pace to see Lily and Sirius having the more affectionate friendship, rather than her Remus. Her and Remus' friendship was platonic, and I adored it.

The Lily and James scene was crafted beautifully. Not mushy or too romance-y.

Favorite Lines: One thing she’s learned about the Marauders is that they all hide behind smoke screens, appearing to glitter in shattered light. However, when she has them alone, they aren’t glorious, graceful men but stumbling, awkward boys. Perfect. I'm definitely placing this story in my favorites.

Well, I thought it was high time I reviewed one of your stories, and this was the first [and shortest] one that came to mind, LOL. Anyway, on with the review.

You have amazing description and characterisation abilities, you know that? The first paragraphs were astoundingly well-done and thought-provoking. Though it may not be for you, but for most, describing Lucius without blatant hatred is a difficult feat, and to go as far as to describe an adolescent's infatuation with him is beyond my own abilities. I commend you! Though, there were two things I was bothered with, but they're not valid criticisms, more of a preference really. Of course, the detail of "ice-blue eyes" annoyed me, but it's more for portrayal of Lucius rather than flowery language. So disregard that one. The other I have is with this particular sentence: A subtle look of intrigue overtook his softly age-lined features, a tiny hint of a confident smile curling the corner of his lip before he turned back to the witch he had been conversing with dully. I found this sentence to be a bit wordy and thought "age-lined" sounded funny, but otherwise, I have no other qualms.

Though she undoubtedly found the man’s disinterest in his wife entertaining, Siobhan Murphy caught herself sympathizing with his plight. Sometimes the road taken in life calls a person to involve themselves with the least desirable of companions, and Siobhan felt that she would understand the feeling very soon. I loved this paragraph. The language, the characterisation, everything about it sums up Siobhan's character, to me.

She would get what she wanted, no matter who she had to involve herself with. Her Slytherin ambition is tantalizing to my senses. I've always loved a Slytherin not involved with their own housemates, but one that's still just as nastily evil, without all the prejudice and killing.

And here enters ferret boy, er, Malfoy. I've suddenly lost my appetite. He's sly, but he leaves a sickening trail of slime in his wake. Poor Siobhan, having to be hit upon by a ratfink like him, let alone associate with him on a daily basis during school, no doubt. Not only do you write him as a ratfink, but he's horrible at pick-up lines. I doubt he got these bad pick-up skills from his father. Now obviously, I've just complimented you on your ability to write Malfoy in-character.

She didn’t reply, but merely raised her eyebrow and gave him the same tiny shadow of a smile before turning away and looking out the window. In the reflection of the glass, she saw Draco looked very pleased with himself as he looked her up and down, before turning and leaving with his arrogant swagger. Siobhan rolled her eyes with a tiny laugh at how quickly he had fallen for her ploy. I loved the way she teases Draco, leading him on and letting his ego inflate, but I'm sure he's going to be in for a rude awakening. Though, that may not happen for quite some time.

Lovely description of the trio and friends entering her compartment, and the hesistance of coming into "Slytherin" territory.

Anyway, moving onto Ginny's outburst. Brilliantly done and in-character. I didn't even expect it either. Her abruptness and fiery attitude were well-characterised and Siobhan's response was very telling of the person she is. And to concur with Siobhan, "it was clear that she was suffering from deep emotional wounds." Wonderfully depicted.

What an awesome start and I'm patiently waiting for chapter two. I have no other criticisms for you, just a threatening note waiting if this isn't updated soon... Oh wait, I said I'm patiently waiting, aren't I? Darn! No threatening letter then... ::pouts::

Author's Response: Oh, it means so much for Lurker Kay to review my story :D And such a lovely review, at that. Thank you, and chapter two is up, I hope you enjoy it.

First off, I'd like to commend you on procuring such a thought-provoking and original idea. Many prefer to take the easy route by having American exchange students come to Hogwarts, but clearly you have found a much better way of introducing American Wizarding culture by creating your own Wizarding society within the boundaries of North America, basing magical traditions loosely upon JKR's vision. Great job!

Secondly, your writing style is probably one of the closest I've seen to JKR's, yet has a flare that's yours. The interaction between the characters and the tension that surfaced when Patrick and Emeritus kept quiet about the letter was thoroughly described and well-done. You have a very defined writing style and great characterisation skills.

Okay, onto the plot.

That was a wonderful twist with the letter! I did not expect it at all! The subtle cliffhanger you left is suspenseful and I feel as if you've taken my favorite possession and are holding it out of my reach. Might I add that I loved the way the letter was written. Beautifully-crafted.

Patrick is an intriguing character. He's not an American version of Harry, and I can appreciate him for who he is rather than compare him to his British counterpart (using the term loosely). He's much like I'd picture and eleven-year-old boy. Though he knows the letter-receiving is a grand celebration in his family, all he wants to do is sleep. That particular scene showed to me that Patrick is eleven, and a young boy. Wonderful!

Anyway, a bit of criticism.

If I remember correctly from Quidditch Through Ages, America's not particular to the sport of Quidditch and has an similar equivalent to it. Though, I don't believe this is a valid criticism since Patrick's from a very large and old American Wizarding family. So I'm thinking that maybe Quidditch has been passed down generation to generation, but I just thought I'd touch on that.

Your grammar was good, though I think some of your sentences could've use a comma here or there. Sometimes commas aren't for grammatical purposes but rather how to read a particular line of dialogue. I was confused at some points when I read because there was a sufficient lack of them. Like "Patrick wake up!" I thought should be "Patrick, wake up!" I would give you a couple more examples, but I cannot open another window with your story due to my internet connection. [It's been temperamental for the past couple days.]

The only other grammatical qualm I had was with a couple of the sentences. There was one perculiar sentence in the first paragraph that took me a couple reads to understand. Too many "ands" or something. I can't quite remember. Other than that, I have nothing else to add.

Anyway, great beginning chapter. I'm definitely looking forward to finding out if Patrick got in or if maybe William Quinn wasn't wrong afterall... ;)

Author's Response: Thank you very much. I much prefer writing IN America because I can more control over the situations and settings than I would in Hogwarts. You are right about Quidditch. Quodpot is the American variant of the game. As you also know, Quidditch is gaining popularity, and there are a few more references to this in proceeding chapters. I figured not every wizards likes Quodpot, just like not every person likes football in America. Quodpot isn't very entertaining in my opinion (it's like hot potato on broomsticks) so I felt I should stick to Quidditch. You're also right about things like commas and "ands." I've posted this story on several HP fanfic sites. Usually I'll reread the chapter after I finish it, once more after I post and over and over on my word processor. I'll make edits to my original document, but don't always make the minor changes to the posts I've made online. That's not to say I haven't noticed them, I just haven't gotten around to editing them. Thanks again for reviewing my story. With this fic, I'm trying to raise the bar on the level of stories about American wizardry. I don't want to rehash what we already know and you'll see from the names I've created I've spent a fair amount trying not to suffer from the pitfalls of other original characters. Happy reading!

Oh, I loved the language, theme, style, and everything about this story. What an original and brilliant idea. Hermione's emotions were genuine and written so well that they floated off the screen and swelled my heart. I'm in awe, and have no real criticism to give.

This was beautiful, masterful, solid, poignant... I could go on and on, but I think I'll stop there before I leak all positive aspects of my vocabulary. Thank you for writing and sharing this with us. I hope to see more from you.

Author's Response: How can I respond adequately to a review like this? Thank you for being so kind and encouraging. It means more than I can say.

I was perusing the site and stumbled into the poetry section and noticed you had no reviews. So I read your poem and came to offer praise and constructive criticism. Anyway, I first want to say I'm no poetry expert, so take anything constructive I have to say with a grain of salt. The second thing I wish to speak is that this wasn't half bad. I liked it. It had a simplistic style, okay diction, and good rhythm. There were a couple lines I was skeptical about and wondered if they belonged in the poem. A smile on his face was not out of place kind of threw me for a loop. I didn't think these lines fitted very well with the overall theme and were only placed there for filler. Othere than that, I really have nothing else to say on the matter.

Anyway, good poem. I'm glad I stumbled across it.

This sounds absolutely intriguing. You are great with description, and I love your characterisation of Remus.

By the way, my one little piece of criticism, Dissapparation should be Disapparition. : )

::continues to next chapter::

Author's Response: You, the Queen of all things Remus, like my version? *glows* *rolls eyes at self* And yes, I know that... and yet, I always make that mistake. *hugs Kay*

I believe this was one of the first stories I read by you, my dear, and to this day I still adore it. Your style is so fluid and descriptive, and your analysis of particular characters has always intrigued me.

I'm not usually a Harry fan. I feel very neutral toward him most times, but your depiction of him and his struggles leave me thoughtful and wishing to pick into his brain like you do. This internal argument he's having is very realistic, as we all do it. His physical pains as well as his mental scars are so darkly personified that it even has me questioning why he hasn't quit. Of course, he wouldn't be a Gryffindor if he gave up, now would he? ;) Though, that doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't question his actions (after the fact).

On a more constructive note, I do have a couple criticisms and notes.

As I was reading, you strayed into first person in one paragraph. It’s a shame that I should be stuck in a home with a ceiling. It so limits the possibilities. I believe you meant he not I. Though, I'm probably mistaken, as it sounds more like a thought than actual narrative. If it's his musing, it probably should be italicized or placed inside single quotes to clarify.

This sentence here: He let it wash over him, like misery and angst had so many years back. The words 'and angst' sound awkward, and I think it reads better without it.

Other than those two small things, I didn't see anything else that caught my eye. Your vocabulary in this piece astonishes me, and I do believe this is your best written one-shot that I've read.

Author's Response: Thank you for re-reviewing, lovely Kay! In response to some of your edits, yes, I think it\'s meant to be italicized. I probably missed it when I uploaded it the second time. Thank you!