I've been out of the fandom for a year or so, and I'm starting to have major withdrawals, so please bare with me as I ease myself back in and attempt to finish the sequel to the story I started almost 5 years ago. . . .
the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return
That was a very great start! I really like the whole ring idea, that is very clever and also very original (which is crucial for the dramione realm as there are only so many ways to get these two together!) Great beginning, and can't wait to see where this leads...
Great chapter! But too short!! I really liked this, great job=) Update soon please!!!
Author's Response: It\'s a \"transition chapter\". The next chapter is going to be very very llooooong, seriously, I am writing it now, it may be the longest chapter yet!
What a fantastic read! I’ve just read all of your chapters so far in one sitting, and I must say that every one of them had wonderful style, romance, & humor! I also love how you switch around the POVs, it really puts your story in a league of its own--kudos! This is the first fic I’ve read that follows HBP and I must say that I think you’re doing a great job with it. Again, I can’t praise your wonderful style enough; you are a very talented writer. I’m impatiently & wholeheartedly awaiting the update!! 10
Author's Response: Thanks so much...boy, I am impressed that you read all of that at once!! It figures out to about 150 typed pages, so kudos to you!!! Thank very much for taking the time to review, and don't worry - I try to update with a few chapters a week, if I can!!
Ooooo intriguing I really enjoyed that!! I just wonder what they were talking about at the beginning there...do hurry and update! Your style is very nice, can't wait to read more! 10
Author's Response: It is a little piece that will come back in the story. It is meant to give you a bit of insight in the relationship between Hermione and Draco.
Nice, Hermione's POV. Great job! You did well in keeping them both IC. Now hurry and update so that we actually know what is going on!!! 10:)
Author's Response: Sorry, not going to drop my first bombshell until chapter 4, though chapter 3 is in queue.
Cute. Simple. Perfect. Loved it, what a wonderful ficlet to start off my day! Not to mention you've got me craving a cappucino, it's off to starbucks before class, thanks haha! 10
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad I helped your day. I was craving cappuccinos and lattes while I wrote it too, believe me :)
I like the way this sounds so far! Great descriptions at the banquet, and I like that hermione is already with harry, but that you established that he may still love ginny...so if something does work with her and draco, harry won't be too broken-hearted. great job
Author's Response: Thanks very much! I thought it was important to keep Harry happy (for the most part), but I still like the idea of him dating Hermione for a while. Anyway, thanks for the review!! =)
I like the way this sounds so far! Great descriptions at the banquet, and I like that hermione is already with harry, but that you established that he may still love ginny...so if something does work with her and draco, harry won't be too broken-hearted. great job
whoops, double posted there. I did wan't to add one thing, I also love the title!! Hope chap 2 gets approved soon!
Ohhh, interesting! I like the way this sounds so far, great job! I esp. liked the opening paragraph, I thought that was great. But boy, you really jumped right into the plot what with Snape suddenly demanding to know which side he'd chose to be on....and then the ending! Priceless! haha, I'll be waiting for an update from you!
Author's Response: Oh thank you =D It took me seven re-writes to get the beginning perfect, I\'m so glad you liked it!! Now that you mention it, i did jump in to it, but i wanted to hook you right away ;) lol the ending is my favorite =P Yay, I\'m looking forward to your next review =D Thanks for reading!!! ♥
This was hilarious, I was reading recs from the forums and this one was on there quite a bit. I can see why now, as my stomach hurts from the laughter. I have to say though, that this was my favorite line: “Hey!” said Draco in a drawling voice. “I would punch you back, but I have a newfound personality and am suddenly sweet and caring. For this reason I will not retaliate.” oh. my. gosh. oh so true for some fics these days. hahaha
Author's Response: I\'m glad you liked it so much! Oh my gosh, I\'m blushing. I just love when I\'m recommended. Who doesn\'t? Anyway, thank you so much and I really appreciate your review.
Well hi there! First off, let me say that I had my doubts when I read your summary. But I went ahead and read your first chapter, and I was suprised. Your writing style is clean and it really has a nice flow. I really liked your opening paragraph; I thought you jumped in with a fresh plot, as a lot of fics these days are still set pre-HBP. So already, your story is different than the rest. It almost makes up for the fact that you're writing a Dramione HBHG, share the dorm and bathroom deal. In fact, I think that it does.
I also really liked the atmosphere you created between the two in the train compartment...just, uncomfortable. Not the bickering or snogging extremes, it was a quaint middle that I found worked. There were however some sentances that sounded redundant, and I think it was because you repeated some words, for example, when you said that no one knew what had become of Draco...and then Hermione tells him, "no one knew what became of you."
Also, I got a little confused when it was Hermione's POV all along, and then suddenly it was Draco's POV. I'd separate that out, or at least start a new paragraph to show that now we're in Draco's head.
The only other thing that threw me through a loop was when it seemed like Herm and Draco had only been in their rooms for what...five minutes, and already Draco was taking a bath...no, a bubble bath. (Draco and bubbles...eh, I dunno about that.)
Anyway, overall I think that you did a good job, but my one big piece of advice would to ditch your summary. It has cliche written all over it, and this story, though there are cliches, is worth reading. Good luck, and I'm off to the next chapter!
Author's Response: Thank you very much for your length review. As an avid fanfic reader myself, I know that one doesn\'t always have the time to leave a review, let alone write one this interesting. Yes, I do realize my summary is pretty cliche, so to say, but that\'s only because I only realized I needed a summary when I tried submitting it. I wrote it in a rush, so that explains the boring style of it. Hermione and Draco were in the rooms for atleast 15 minutes before the the bath scene because Hermione took her time ogling her room and exploring every nook and cranny of it. She\'s a very detail oriented person, so it only makes sense she would explore her room to the fullest extent. Also, Draco went into his room before Hermione. I really didnt think of putting all this in the chapter because I thought it was self explanatory. The bubbles can be explained by the fact that Draco grew up with a very luxerious life. Harry Potter doesnt seem much like a bubble bath type of person either, but he did in the fourth book. Same thing with Draco, its not so much of a softer or feminine thing to take a bubble bath, its more of a way of relaxing. After all, Draco did just re-enter the wizarding world and had a very uncomfortable day. Also keep in mind that Draco is not as evil as he was always percieved because he did go over to the bright side after all. I will take your advice to fix my summary, if I can find the time that is. I\'m not nearly talented enough to write a completely cliche free Draco/Hermione story, but I\'m trying to make it seem possible, lol. Anyways, thanks a lot for your review and I hope I haven\'t babbled too much.
Awww, that was short! So, Ron is going to be a fabulous tool for you during this story, eh? Don't get me wrong, it's really sad that him and Ginny are gone :( but it is very different. I haven't read a story like this yet, and I'm glad that I went ahead and read yours.
Just curious, why did you name the story what you did?
Like I said in my earlier review, I really think you should change your summary, it doesn't do this story justice. If you need any help brainstorming, don't hesitate to contact me. Great chapter, and I hope to see ch 3 up soon!
Author's Response: I can\'t really tell you why I named the story the way I did. Let\'s just say, you\'ll know soon enough, or in a while, rather, lol. I had to kill Ron and Ginny in order to make this story a bit different. I\'m trying to make it as different as possible. I read Born the Day You Kissed me and Aguapanthus, you\'re a great writer as well.
As always, thank you for the review, and I promise I\'ll make a better review.
Man, no kitchen? I thought that would be interesting to see homemaker!Draco, lol!
So I'm sure that people have brought this to your attention, but your chapters are all messed up. Just to let you know so you can fix it.
Now about the chapter 3, I thought it was good but really fast. The anger, apology, and then the anger again bt Hermione and Draco seemed to happen so quickly that it became hard to picture. (speaking of which, in my earlier review, I guess I can see Draco taking a bubble bath like Harry did) I think you have it in you to stretch that scene out a bit longer, just so that it is more realistic.
I even would have liked to see more of Harry, and hear a conversation between him and Hermione about Ginny and Ron. It is the first few days of their new school year without their very best mates, don't you think the atmosphere would have been more sad? And yes, they are happy about Hermione being HG and her beautiful new dorm, but still, it would have been bittersweet.
Okay, I'm getting nitpicky, so just ignore me! You did a good job :) oh, and I hope that you got my email. Bye!
Author's Response: Yes, the chapter mix up was an accident. I wanted everything to be rash. It\'s supposed to be just awkward and wierd because Draco\'s usually very bland and always hides his feelings. Revealing them is something new for them so of course it\'s not going to like a normal conversation. Harry and Hermione don\'t talk about Ron and Ginny any more because they already did for about a month before school. They greived a lot for both of them and now they\'re back at school and are trying to be positive. They\'re kind of used to not having Ron and Ginny by this time, sadly. Harry and Hermione have learned that they are never coming back and that life must go on. Harry learned this very well in the sixth book after Sirius\'s death. Anyways, I\'m glad you liked and I did get your email and replied back as well.
Wow, I got your review and decided to read your story and...wow. That was a very deep, and dark piece. Though I must say that I was terribly confused at the beginning, because after reading your author's page, I thought this was a draco/hermione story, haha! So I had to go back and re-read it once I figured out that it was harry/ginny/draco.
So anyways, I thought this was a great oneshot, your writing is very clean and emotional. I especially liked that you told this story from Harry's POV with no dialouge or any other POVs. That's usually hard to do without losing the interest of the reader, but you did a great job, bravo!
I really liked this line: "I start to ponder how hurt she must feel, to be enslaved by Draco, and to have to obey his commands. I see her quake under his fierce embrace, and I rarely see them talk." and also "I hope my taste pains her as much as hers did me, but somehow I doubt it." those lines were very powerful. Also, where were those lyrics from? I think it was mentioned on your author page, but you should probably include that somewhere on here as well (unless I'm mistaken and those aren't lyrics)
Well, thanks for directing me here, it was a very nice read :)
Author's Response: thanks for the review! i\'m writing a new story and your advice was really helpful...plus it was really long so you must have taken the time to think about it! if you can\'t tell, i\'m hapy now!
oh, and the words in italic are from numerous fall out boy songs, and they\'re all brilliant!
Your summary drew me in...and I'm glad it did! It was great. The lack of dialogue was brilliant, it's not easy to pull off. However, the really big paragraphs were a little hard on the eyes. Other than that, it was great. Thanks for this little one-shot =)
Author's Response: Ah. . . not the long paragraphs again . . . . *cowers from story* . . . . See, the thing is that I already broke many of the paragraphs down and that was very hard for me to do (due to my penchant for long, winding, never-stopping paragraphs :P)
haha, didn\'t mean to rant . . . . Thanks for this wonderful review! I\'m glad you enjoyed it. :)