Hello. I'm Addie.
I am a college junior majoring in history, with an emphasis in Japanese studies. I want to travel the world, I am obsessed with the myth of Hades and Persephone, and Wicca fascinates me. I like sunrises, pomegranates, daffodils, and YooHoo.
Sadly, I am not as obsessed with HP as I was when I first joined this site (a whopping seven years ago!), but I am currently working on a fic (One Absolutely Beautiful Thing) that I fully intend to complete.
Olivia, this is just wonderful! You've outdone yourself. I absolutely loved it. I caught a few nitpicks, but nothing important enough to mention. They certainly don't take away from this great story, they don't have the chance to! Refreshing plot, and I'm interested to see whether Draco will remain Hermione's friend throughout their time in Maurader Hogwarts. Also, will Draco get to meet his parents? Great story!
Author's Response: Aw, thanks! *blushes* And I have definitely thought about Draco having his parents in this. He\'s definitely going ti meet his mother, but I\'m still figuring out how to incorporate his father since Lucius was no longer at Hogwarts at this point. Thank you so much for the review! I\'m glad you like the story.
Here's the review I promised in exchange for that lovely banner you made me. I didn't expect to be wowed, but I am.
This was beautiful! It almost made me cry. Your descriptions are beautiful, and your metaphors and comparisons highly accurate.
The way Sarah describes Severus made me fall in love with him; she makes him out to be gentle and kind. I loved their first kiss, it gave me shivers! He changed so much by the end that I couldn't believe it. He became the Snape that we all know and ...love?
It's so sweet how Sarah begs him to stay! How could he leave someone who loved him so much? But, if I may, I think some of Severus's love for Sarah may have evaporated...he doesn't seem to lover her as much as he used to. It doesn't seem likely that he would leave her just because of her ideals, or because she's foolish.
A while ago he would have run to me, healed me, tended to me.
This seems to me to be the saddest line of the story. That he used to lover her so, and now he's simply used to her injuries...it's just sad. If he still loved her as much, he would run to her no matter what, wouldn't he?
And the memory was over. And we were over. And I was over.
So final, so sad! This makes it clear that everything is finished, that they never made up or spoke again. Their love was lost...how heartbreaking!
I've got two nitpicks:
Ancient Ruins
This should be Ancient Runes.
“Severus, how was you’re day?”
It should be "your."
Nevertheless, this story was simply magical. It's amazing how you managed to convey so much emotion in a one-shot, and with an OC. Your writing style is beautiful, once again I must mention how much I love your metaphors and comparisons (things I can never think up).
Something confused me, though. At the end of the story, she says she's being reborn...does she mean that literally? Have you brought the theme of reincarnation into the story as well?
Also, Sarah says in death they truly seperated. Sevvy didn't go back to Sarah, did he?
Overall, beautiful story, beautiful writing, and especially, wonderful characterization of Severus, he's extremely believable as the potions master we are familiar with. Beautiful piece, I truly mean that.
Wow, I loved this. I skimmed it first, and then I went back and read it again. It's so creepy and sad you just have to love it. I love Peter's cluttered thought process, especially! Thank you for such an amazing story!
It feels like he's a ticking time-bomb, only he doesn't know how long he's got left.
That was bloody brilliant.
I'm speechless. Reading this I truly believed that Sirius is teetering on the edge of madness. I really believed it. You have managed to convince me 100%.
This story was the epitome of angst. I didn't cry - but it just filled me with such sorrow that it was painful. That's a good sign, though.
Doesn't change the fact that it burns when they tell their friends that Sirius is just the little hired hand's son.
That's just sad. Believable of Sirius's parents, but sad. No wonder the little boy got messed up.
he's beginning to wonder if any other little kids feel like they're about to go insane.
This was scary. Yes, scary. That a little kid should be having these thoughts...that a little boy should be on the edge of insanity...beautifully sorrowful.
"Oh good. Now you can crash and burn like a real Quiddich player." Perhaps if he's too caustic, Regulus will give up and let him sulk in peace. But his brother's face falls, and suddenly he realizes that Regulus just wants to please him. He's overcome with the desire to destroy his brother's optimism, because Regulus gets everything and it's hurting more and more as it keeps happening.
"I'll let you ride it." Regulus sounds so naive. It just makes him more angry.
This was what almost made me cry. It was just...sweet and realistic. Regulus is trying to be so nice, but Sirius cannot love him when their parents hate Sirius. Poor Regulus. That way you wrote this part just instigates feelings of immense pity for both Black boys. Sirius, because he's neglected and unloved by his parents, and Regulus, because he was born into such a family, and because of the way his brother treats him, even though all he is trying to do is be nice.
Oh and, you forgot the 't' in 'Quidditch.'
When he's out of candy suitable for throwing (there are such things, like chocolate frogs, that should never be thrown at an enemy because that's just a crime) he begins trying to talk to Severus.
Really, would Snape let someone throw things at him like that? If he has the power to stop bullying, he does. I highly doubt he would just sit there.
No boy wants a madman for a godfather anyway.
Now this is tragic. That Sirius is admitting it himself is what affects me. He knows he has slipped off the edge to the pool of insanity, he's lost, and he's got no hope. So sad.
I would quote all the lines I thought were powerful and beautiful, but I'd end up quoting the whole story. It was simply wonderful, and very powerful in terms of emotions. You manage to convey madness very clearly. Not to mention Sirius's excellent characterization. Lovely story, my dear!
That was really great, Jamie! It's such an emotional piece; it made me really think.
I really liked the repition you used with the words 'waiting' and 'watching.' It gave it a slower feel, made it seem creepy and scary. That repition gives it the tiny, subtle touch of fear.
_________________________________
Lovers hold each other close,
Knowing what is coming,
Making every moment precious,
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Maybe it is because I am going through something close to heartbreak right now, and because I just watched a romance film, but this part was touching. Really touching. It was just sweet, the way you conveyed love into this poem.
You've included everything, really, and it was just a really lovely and touching read.
Author's Response: Oh, thank you BloodRayne. *hugs for a really really really long time* I needed that right now - just the love of a reader and their appreciation. Thank you.
I\'m glad you liked it and saw what I was trying to put into it: emotion. Thank you for seeing the love and hope I put into this.
Thank you.
Wow, Lindsey, that was truly amazing! I'm no good at leaving SPEW-like reviews, so I'll just point out what I loved about this awesome story!
First off, the ending is genius. First I thought, he should have stayed with Circe if his wife is dead. And then I thought - wait - did Circe kill his wife? But she learned he was leaving eight years after Heather died - and my head started to hurt so I just left it alone and interpreted it as a wonderfully climactic ending. I love how he was led to the gravestones by the blind man! That was just...wonderful.
I adored how in the end, David gave in to Circe. No man can resist temptation ;), and I'm glad you didn't give David a quality that almost no man has, in my opinion.
My mouth dropped open in shock when I read that it had been eight years since they arrived. That was a really exciting plot twist (or whatever something like that is called), and I enjoyed David's digestion of the news immensely.
Circe...her characterization was lovely. At times she is strong and arrogant, at others weak and faltering, which I suppose goes back to how she is deeply yearning for true love. I guess that is breaking her mask.
“Y-yes,” Circe stammered, trying to pull away. “Why? It’s not as if you’ve wanted to go anywhere but here---”
This was the only thing in the story that I felt wasn't...right. I don't think a goddess would ever stammer and make excuses, I think in that situation Circe would have pulled away in indignation and arrogantly retorted.
But really, Lindsey, I absolutely loved this story! I especially loved your description of Circe at the start of the story, it caught my attention and made me want to continue with this story. Usually with challenge entries, I skim the story only, but with this I had to read it word for word; that's howgood it was!
Loved it, loved it, loved it! Good luck in the challenge!
Author's Response: Oh. My. Goodness. What a marvellous review! *huggles to absolute death!* I want to thank you SO very, very much with the compliments, because I absolutely loved writing this. Oh, and thanks for pointing out that mistake. I think that I was listening to Daughtry or something as I wrote that piece, but thanks so much for telling me. :) I really appreciate you taking the time to write this wonderful review, and I’m SO glad that you enjoyed it. ~Lindsey :)
Hmm...well, it was an interesting idea, certainly a heart-breaking story, although I think it could have been more so if you had used more description. You appear to be a dialouge-driven writer, much like me.
My other nitpick is about Patronuses. There is usually lots of confusion between Animagi and Patronuses, but I thought the Animagus was what represented the persona. The Patronus is eomthing you feel protected by, correct? Harry feels protected by his dad, or feels a strong love towards him, but there is a connection. Tonks' Patronus became a werewolf because of the love she felt for Remus. She went through emotional trauma. So stating that the wolf represented Ambrine's persona was just...not believable for me.
I also found it a bit hard to believe that Harry's Patronus would change so quickly. Harry is strong, and he felt guilt over Sirius' death, but his Patronus didn't change. So feeling guilt over Dean's death, a person he didn't even know, I don't think that would warrant a Patronus change.
But I liked the plotline of this story. It was very sad, and the memory is ironic in a way.
Author's Response: According to Andrea, moderator for this challenge, a Patronus is something that represents someone\'s persona. Personally, I agree with you, but I had to go within the parameters of the prompt. *shrug*
Now everyone pay close attention here because I\'m going to explain why Harry\'s Patronus changed and why he just now noticed.
Harry hasn\'t cast a Patronus Charm since the end of war. That was the first time he had cast one since the end of the war. In his lessons, from my POV, he always lets the students try the spells before he demonstrates it for them. The lesson with the Gryffs was the first one where they were trying on their own. The lesson with the Raveclaws was the second where he showed them the correct way. That\'s why he doesn\'t notice that his Patronus has changed until that point.
His Patronus didn\'t change because of his guilt over Dean\'s death. His Patronus changed right after the war. It changed because of the emotional scars he carried from the war and the horrors he faced. Becoming a murder and killing Voldemort? Not an easy thing to do for any reasonable person. It was a big shock to Harry\'s system. That\'s why his Patronus changed.
BloodRayne: Thank you for your review! I\'m really glad you liked the story and I hope you\'ll read more of mine. ;)
This is cuddly, cozy, and sweet. I love the way you've taken an unknown character like Ollivander and made him into a fresh, new, interesting character with a wife and child. Helen is adorable by the way! Great story!
Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much for your kind review!
I like this so far, Cammie. It's pretty interesting, and I like how Cammie so far isn't at all Mary-Sueish. I like her horrible Charms skills, it's refreshing to see an incompetent witch! ;)
The only thing that bugged me was the last line, about spreading her wings. I dunno, for some reason I felt it was slightly out of place. It seemed to come out of nowhere, and it wasn't expanded on either, it was just there. It seemed not to fit in with the story so far, and I think the ending would have been better had you simply done without it, or tried to subtly include it somewhere else in the chapter.
Other than that, I really like this so far, and I can't wait to see Cammie's attitute at Hogwarts.
Author's Response: Thankees! *huggles BloodRayne* *cough* Except Cammie is my name and Carmen is the OC\'s. Heheh. :D
This story was a wonderful, precise, and believable explanation of a mystery in canon. I also loved the fact that you took a minor character like Walburga and gave her depth.
Tom's character is spectacular. During the middle of the story, before he went to propose, you had me wondering whether it was possible for Voldy to fall in love, but then it was revealed that he only wanted her family for their money and power. So typical and likely of him to charm someone so he could get what he wants. I loved that you used that aspect of him!
As for Walburga being the one to take the locket, that was a stroke of genius. It makes sense that she would want revenge after he scorned her (love the tiel, by the way) like that.
Is this a chaptered story or a one-shot? There are maybe a one or two loose ends, but it's wonderful this way as well.
-Hadeer
Author's Response: Sorry, I guess the Author\'s note was rather vague. I\'m hoping to make this a chaptered fic as I do have a back-story for Alphard. If it doesn\'t become chaptered I will write a companion piece that does include Alphard\'s story. I\'m sort of waiting to see how Deathly Hallows turns out and try to decide from there since it will likely make this quite AU, however it probably won\'t affect Alphard\'s story. Currently, my plan is to wait until after August 1st, (when spoilers are allowed anyway) and then ask the mods what I should do with it (for example if it needs to be moved to the AU category, have a DH disregarded warning added, if this messes up the spoiler policy, etc.) So, to make a long explanation short, Alphard will get his story and the loose ends will be tied up, it just might take a while. Thank you for your lovely and in depth review!
I absolutely loved this story! It was really sweet, and I find the idea of Lucius/Andromeda very appealing for some reason...even more appealing than Lucius/Bella, which is what I usually support, although I have yet to find a fic with that pairing. Anyway, I found Lucius a tiny bit out of character - but I suppose he woud be different when speaking with the woman he truly loves. Andromeda I also found OOC - but that's okay. It was a hilarious and really very sweet story and I enjoyed it a lot.
Author's Response: Oh, I\'m glad you liked it! I have fallen in love with this pairing myself. :D
As for Lucius being out of character . . . I did worry about that. It\'s definitely a side of him we don\'t usually see, so I tried to keep his aloofness present for at least the first part of the story. And Andromeda, I suppose she was a bit OOC, but on the other hand we\'ve barely seen her in canon. But, yes, from what we\'ve seen she\'s a bit different. Regardless, I\'m glad you liked this, and thanks for the sweet review! :)
(and the lovely Sly Severus has several great fics featuring Lucius/Bella, if you are interested in them :D)
This was such an adorable fic! I loved the way Scorpius was portrayed, and for some reason your Draco and his interaction with his son made my heart melt. Not in happiness, but...I just felt warmth, for some reason. It was really, really sweet!
I did think it strange for Draco to be so admant that his son not get into anything but Slytherin. I've always thought of that as more of a Lucius trait, and after the war and everything that's happened, I would have thought Draco to be a *slightly* changed man.
I also found it interesting that Draco owns an apothecary and has been offered the job of teaching Potions. It's not that Canon Draco has never been good in potions - on the contrary, he has, but it was always written to make us assume that he only got into N.E.W.T potions because he was Snape's favorite boy. So I found it great that you incorporated his talent for Potions in there.
The Slash bit between Harry and Draco actually surprised me. I thought it a bit out of place, as it came so suddenly! Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge fan of Slash, it's just that I thought that this fic would have done better without that idea. What I'm saying is, it was enough without the slash bit, it was wonderful on its own. That's just my own opinion though. ^_^
To sum everything up, I will once again say what an amazing fic I found this to be!
Author's Response: Thank you! I always love your reviews :)
I understand what you mean about Draco being too concerned about Scorp getting into Slytherin. I wasn\'t sure whether to make him lenient about that or not, but then I figured that even if Draco did become good, he\'d still keep many of his old personality traits, including his preference for Slytherin.
As for the potions bit... I have a soft spot for Draco-who\'s-brilliant-at-Potions because I love him and want him to be good at *something* :P
And you\'re right about the slash bit. I thought about that while I was writing. I had actually written this fic without the slash part and posted it on my LJ, but my friend told me it didn\'t have much of a purpose, so I threw in the slash part, which gave the fic the whole theme of repaying one another.
I really liked this story; the way you weaved all this without straying from canon. I loved that Harry was the witness, because that is very true to his character: he is a fair and honest person.
Your story made me shiver in the right parts (the kind of goosebumps you get when you read something really, really touching), such as when Harry testified for Lucius Malfoy, not against. I did think Lucius slightly OOC for crying; I don't believe he would ever allow himself to lose control like that, but never mind.
Basically, I loved it, and the idea that Lucius remained a Death Eater to protect his family is perfect, because it's very likely and I believe it is completely true. Wonderful, wonderful story, Kelly!
Author's Response: Hadeer! *huggles fellow SBBC-er* thank you so much leaving me a great review!
I enjoyed writing it, actually. Especially the part where Harry testifies. It was tons of fun!
Ou, about those tears....yeah, they were the vestiges left over from my very old ending. Originally, Lucius was going to cry and confess all to Harry outside of the courtroom. Somehow, though, the story was rejected for being too OOC (gee...obviously). So, yeah, those were my one little throwback to the old ending. But, anyways, I\'m really happy you enjoyed it so much. Thanks again!
That was quite a lovely story. The depth of it all was intruiging, and I loved how you chose Dobby of all people to accompany on his journey to death.
I loved how Lucius was portrayed like that; it was interesting symbolism you chose to have, since Lucius was evil, after all. That was a nice touch.
What I really liked the most was the part about death ferrying people over, and how they got scared of him occasionally and came back. The fact that Dumbledore is on that boat, encouraging people to come across, was very like him, and it was very clever of you to think of that!
It was a very sad, sweet story that gives insight to the hopes of a not-so-minor character. Great job!
Author's Response: I have to admit part of the reason I chose Dobby is because for some reason his death was the one I sobbed over in DH. I was deeply saddened by several deaths but I just broke down over Dobby. Thank you for your in-depth review!
That was...quite nice. I like the idea of things, but the only thing that bugged me was towards the end; the sentence Scorpius recieved. I mean, Death Eaters recieved life in prison, would Scorpius get twenty years just because of an accidental event? And that Lily and Albus were so cold towards the end...I dunno, I just felt they might have been a bit more sympathetic. I dunno...
I did like your story, thogh, don't let the above comments fool you. ^_^
Author's Response: Thanks for the review, I really appreciated it. My whole thought process was that the Ministry, post Voldemort, has taken a very harsh stance on Dark Magic and seized the opportunity to stick it to a Malfoy when they received a iron-clad reason to. The other thing is, Scorpius\'s poor judgement created that whole scenario, just like drinking too much and getting behind the wheel of a car. You never mean to hurt anyone ... but its still your fault if you do. That\'s kind of the point of the story.
That was lovely, Katie! I absolutely loved the rhyme scheme, although I think that the last stanza would have been stronger and flowed better with the rest of the poem if it had been a stronger rhyme.
Then again, what do I know about poetry?
Great job!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I liked the last stanza BECAUSE it was different, but then, that\'s just me, and I have an odd style. (Though I\'m sure you know more about poetry than I do. . . .)
Wow. Wow. Wow.
First of all, I'm pretty sure a story from Rodolphus's point of view is pretty rare. That alone makes this story unique - I never really imagined that Rodolphus ever really loved Bellatrix - but you portray his emotions of love and frustration very well.
Also, the way you made it that Bella loves Voldemort, not just his power, was...I can't describe it, but I guess I could say it made the whole thing somewhat more human, it made both Bella and Voldy more human.
I love the way you don't mention names. That gave this an aura of mystery and etherealness. By the way, the pureblood family Bella tortured: do you mean the Malfoys?
The line before last - "All she ever wanted was Him" IMO that would have worked wonders as the last line. I mean, when I read it, I literally stopped reading, because I completely expected that to end the story, but then you introduced another paragraph. I mean, don't get me wrong, re-reading what you wrote, it works, it definitely works and I can see why you set it up like that. I'm just saying that the "all she ever wanted" line has a very powerful impact, and it, for lack of a better word, stuns the reader. That's all.
To sum up, this was a really, really, really wonderful story. I absolutely loved it - I loved Rodolphus, the portrayal of Bella, the style of writing, everything!
Author's Response: Thanks for the great review! The pureblood family was the Longbottoms, after Harry destroys Voldemort. I actually have a really creepy fic about that time, so if you want to read it, it\'s called \"His Most Faithful Servant\". \r\n\r\nIt\'s funny you say that about the line before the last, because when I was writing this (in one stream of consciousness), that was the last line, until I went back and edited. The last paragraph was actually going to be in another part, but then I thought it was powerful enough to be the end, so I moved it. Maybe now I\'ll consider taking it out, though! :D