I like this story. I really like the ending to it.

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed!

Ashley

I really like this stry. I've never read one about Charlie and this makes me want to read more. I can't wait to see where this story goes and I hope the next chapter is up soon.

Author's Response: Thank you for your review. As this is my first fluffy romance, I have no idea where it is going. As long as my muse continues to enjoy herself with this, the next chapter should be up soon. Thanks again, Terri

Oh my gosh. That was so freaking funny. I'm am still laughing. My favorite part was the bananas part and when Remus came in. Just because he was so serious and then he was wrong. It was great. I really can't wait for the next chapter.

I wish I saw this earler. This was really good. It's extereemly believable. I could really see this happening. Dumbledor is great. I really love his characterization. I can't wait for the next chapter. This is going to be a really great story.

This is the funniest thing that I've read. I was laughing the whole time. I had the persons voice who sings the song sing this and it was great. You did a great job on this.

Author's Response:

Hello ron lover,

what a lovely review! Taking the lyrics and melodies of classic songs and mixing them with memorable moments from Harry Potter (or Lord Of The Rings) is a bit of a hobby (and a lot of fun). It's a bit tricky sometimes trying to keep the metre (or is it meter in U.S.?) just right, or to blend in enough of the original lyrics to make the song still recognisable as the classic hit it was - but I get a massive kick out of it when it's finally done!

I'm delighted you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Kara's Aunty :)

P.S. Yours was probably the quickest review I've EVER had!! Thanks :o)

I love this story. Everything is cute in it. I love how the lyrics fit with the story. I love what Janie said about Harry at school. It seems like him. It must have been really bad for him at school.

I also like the story with Janie's friend and her boyfriend. It was funny. The whole Neville and the wristwatch part was hilarious. It made me laugh when I read it. I also like Ginny's reaction to Harry proposing. It made me smile. :)

All in all, I think this is a great one-shot.

Author's Response: Thanks! I can imagine Harry's time at primary school was very sad. But he gets a happy ending! I'm glad you found the story funny and liked Ginny's reaction to the proposal :)

Hello, Andi. I'm here to review this lovely story that you made.

I'm glad that you made this story. I've always wanted to read what happend in Potterwatch besides what we heard and now I can. I like everything that you cover in this chapter. I think that the characterization is good. It was easy to tell which person was which, which is always a good thing. I can't wait to find out what happens next in the later chapters.

You're doing a great job on this so far, Andi!

Author's Response: Thank you, Alyssa! I guess i should go and work on the next chapter, then, huh? :P Thanks again!

Becca, I really love this story. You did a great job for your first Dark Angsty story. I really love your character Cassadee. I love the characterization of her. She is very origional to me. It was a lot of fun reading about what she did. Charlie was very good too. He was extreemly believable. I like how he delt with everything.

Don't even get me started on your plot. It was so good! It was a very interesting story to read. It made me want to read all of it at once to see what happened next. The way wrote it was good too. It added something more to it to make it more interesting.

I love the letter at the end. I can't immigine how Charlie would feel about her liveing with Alex, and then the post script must've been terribale for him. My absolute favorite part of the story was the last sentence. It was a bit sarcastic and dark at the same time and I love it. It was a great way to end the story.

The way you use the lyrics in the story is great, too. You don't put them in every other line, but you don't not use them (does that make sense?). They really add an ephesis to the story. It was a good idea to end the story with the lyrics. It makes things final along with the sentence before the lyrics.

Just so you know, reading this didn't waste my time. : D

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much Alyssa! I'm so happy you like it; I'm rather partial to it too. XD I'm glad you like Cassadee, she was a pretty fun character to write. Normally I don't really like girls like her, and it was shockingly fun to write about one. And Charlie...he was a doormat for a bit of this, wasn't he? I can't sympathize with people like that so I kind of liked putting myself into his shoes. I'm glad you like the plot too; it was inspired by the song, and what kind of story might be behind it, ya know? And Cassadee's letter is really what makes it a D/A fic. How much is must have hurt Charlie, and how much he probably regrets that part of his life...Yeah. :) And the lyrics were the part I was a bit concerned about. I wasn't sure whether or not they would add to the story or take away from it. I guess they added? Thanks for the comment on the last sentence, too. I liked it was well. :) I'm so glad it didn't waste your time, too! {BeccA}

I get it now! Gosh that was a good idea!

I remember something that I wanted to mention before.

You say what happened in DH and the outcomes of Harry's story a lot throughout your story so far. Is there a particular reason for that? Personally, I find myself skipping over it because I've already read it loads of times, and it's old news. I don't think that you have to talk about it quite as often. But then again, it's the character thinking more than you telling me what happend (if you can follow that). So I'm a bit torn on what to say about it. It gets a tad annoying reading sentences describing what Harry did, but that's probably just a pet peeve of mine. But sometimes it goes with what's happening, and, after all, it's the character thinks about it.

What I'm talking about is stuff like this:

...with Professor Snape, the man for whom Albus’s middle name was chosen.

I'm sure that all of the people on this site know how Albus's middle name was chosen. You could get rid of the last nine words and the sentence will still work. Having stuff like that in your story just adds un-needed words.

Being away from his flat gave him peace, and a sense of well being, the first in ages, washed over him.

The 'washed over him' part in that sentence is just weird. I know what you're tying to say, but it just doesn't really work. Maybe try something like "Being away from his flat gave him peace and a sense of well being for the first time in ages." In a way, that doesn't really fit your writing style, but it reads better than what you have. Or you could even do "Being away from his flat gave him peace and a sense of well being that, for the first time in ages, washed over him." That sentence seems like its unfinished, don't you think? You could add something along the lines of "like [insert phrase here]" (or maybe "and made him feel relieved" or some other word along those lines) to the end of it and that would work, but it would also seem like too much. If you ever thought about changing that sentence, I'd go with the first suggestion I gave you, or somehting along those lines.

“Anyway, after I got there, I realized he was absolutely right to not leave me by myself. I was a wreck”

You forgot the period at the end.

/tiny nit-picks.

The big reason I came back is because, as always, after I submitted the other review I remembered something. It's about Albus's characterization and why he seems proper. And this is merely speculation, but I've noticed that he's a straight-forward guy, and a lawyer, so that's why he's proper. He has to be for work, and it just rubbed of on him a lot. I'm so happy that I've realized that; now it won't be that weird for me. :D

I think I understand this story more now after reading this chapter! I love how you have two plots going on. There's James in Azkaban, and Albus is trying to find Lily who is with Goyle. Everything is connected somehow and just...gosh! There are no words to describe it! How did you come up with this? I'm not sure which part I like more. I need to find out what happened with James, but Goyle really fascinates me. Great job with that!

I really like the ending to this chapter. Goyle doesn't really do anything at all, but that's what makes it so creepy. He's been there for a month and the doctors let her go with him! I know that if I were Lily, I'd rather have him do something to me than just be there, because sometimes not doing anything (that I know of yet) is worse. I love that you have it like that, because without going in to much detail, I need Lily to get away from him. You write him in a way that makes me hate him. But at the same time, I like his character in this story; people like him always fascinate me.

But anyway, on to the next chapter!

I shouldn't have written this at 1 a.m., but this couldn't wait! You did a great job with this chapter; it is excellent!

(I'm sorry about any spelling typos; if you only need to know one thing about me, it's that I can't spell. *sigh*)

Author's Response:

Hmm, and now you've started to hit upon some of the crazy stuff that goes on in my brain. To be honest, most of this story was woven together before I ever started the first line. It just doesn't seem as nice and tidy as later chapters, because I had to remember how to write first. Looking back, I'm still amazed that the first chatpers were accepted, they were so bad, but Hannah (my mod through the whole story) told me that the story was good enough to look past the awful, cliche writing. Dude, I'm glad she was my mod, because I did the whole thing unbetaed (mostly because I didn't know there was such a thing until I started Chapter 19). It does improve on that front - I promise. In my defense, I will say that most of the over-information was due to me writing the story so that it could be read and understood by anyone at least vaguely familiar with the Potterverse. It was intended to be as canon-compliant as possible. In retrospect, it was a bit overboard, but that's why it is like that.

Keep reading, and just remember next time to sit down to read when you have a ton of time on your hands. Julia took three or four days to read it. Jenny read it all in one go (?!). Whatever suits you, I suppose.

It's been lovely converging on this, and I hope that this fic not only proves to be a stepping stone to bigger, better things, but it shows that one can start off rough and rise to the top with enough practice.

Thanks for reading, adn enjoy the rest of the story,

~Jess

This is probably one of my favorite stories. I really like everything in it. I like the characterization of Alphard. It's very good.

For a second I thought it was going to be a Sirius/Alphard storry! Boy, was I wrong. It was a good wrong, though. I thought it would be a bit weird if it was Sirius and his uncle.

I also like Chance *forgets first name*. His character was very well written, in my opinion. It seemed very origional.

I also like the plot. I haven't read one like it. It was very entertainting to read. The struggle that Alphard went through was very good.

I would give this story a three thumbs up if I had three thumbs, but sadly I don't so I will have to stick with two. I think you did a great job on this!

Author's Response: Wow- Thank you very much!! I found this really difficult to write- both my beta and the mod said it was confusing, so I made a few changes- I'm really glad you found it entertaining, and Alphard's struggle and Chance's character believable.

I don't really know where the idea for the plot came from. Chance is, to some extent, a bit of a stereotype in that he's the equivalent to the cockney who finds himself at the height of society. I don't know whether I mentioned this (should've - will now) but his name comes from the Tennessee Williams' play "The Sweet Bird of Youth"- although the characters are quite dissimilar they are linked in that they use people for money.

Thank you so much again!