Wow! I couldn’t stop laughing. This was a really amazing and original idea for a story. However, I wasn’t just laughing; I honestly felt sad for Severus. I don’t think he would have been that weak to actually depend on the Daydreams, but your story was once again reminded me of his “great love.” I also love the way you brought in Dumbledore and his stern advice.

I think there were a few errors, though. One was, you spelt “breach” as “breech.” The other thing was that I think the male Carrow sibling was Amycus, not Alecto. :)

Author's Response: I'm glad I managed to make you feel both happy and sad. I've achieved my goal!

Hello Carole!

I'm still wondering why I overlooked this one-shot. After reading it, I'm even more convinced about the MWPP classes.

On to the serious part. So, I can't really say which one I liked best. Each of them was written superbly. You set different tones for them, seeing as they are such different individuals.

I think it is easy to mix up James and Sirius at times, but here, you showed the very distinct line which separates them. Sirius was reckless, James had a bit more self-control. Sirius did not really know himself, James was a little more aware of who he was.

Peter has always been a mystery to me. However, your portrayal of him has cleared things a little for me. I am thinking - would he have been better off if he hadn't been their friends? It is easy to see how inadequate he feels when he is with them. I don't think Sirius and James were always making fun of him, but Peter's need to impress them, to be like them, must have been hard on him - especially because he fell far short of achieving it.

As for Remus, it's just the way you write about him. Less melodrama, less angst - but the pain is so much more tangible. I think his section was the one which really made me love the fic, simply because you handled him so well.

I loved McGonagall here. Lol! I loved her scathing remark to Sirius: "Mr. Black, when you have the time..." lol! There is that soft side to her - which threatens to break into the surface at times. I loved how that came out here in your fic.

Lastly, I want to say - well, you did a great job! You picked a great moment to write about the Marauders. And, I must not forget to add, I like how Sirius and Remus end up being the ones who comfort each other.

~Natalie

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Natalie, for reviewing. I'm glad you enjoyed the story (and apologies for not responding sooner). I'm pleased you liked McGonagall in this, because I wanted to show different sides to her. I giggled when writing James - he is such a bad boy at times. Thanks again ~Carole~

WOWIES!!! It was an amazing one-shot, Amanda. Ha ha! Wow, it was great to have Ron being sensitive just for once. Or maybe, he got some tips from that book he gave Harry on his birthday? *sniggers*

I think you portrayed both character IC. I wouldn't have believed it if Ron had said all those things before DH, but post-DH, post all that horrible fight in the tent, and losing Fred, I do believe he attained a new level of maturity. The good thing is, you had him struggling with himself, and with words, which was apt for his character as well as for the moment.

Hermione was great too. Who would have thought the girl would turn out to be so romantic and sexy? lol! But , of course, she was always the braver one when it came to emotions.

I like the fact that you brought in Lavender. Hermione was right in accusing Ron of being unfair to her;the girl did love her after all. And, no matter how much she had hated Lavender, it is not like Hermione not to be fair.

Hmmm...and the song is amazing. Have to check it out now. ;)

Author's Response:

NATALIE! You came and reviewed my story!

Thank you for your words about Ron. I just adore Ron, and I dislike stories where he is a bumbling idiot, or horribly rude, or basically has nothing to contribute. And I think there was a significant shift in his maturity level, and therefore their relationship, during DH, especially after their kiss in the RoR. I'm pretty sure that would have shocked part of his brain into sensibility, and then everything after that...

As for Hermione...I literally just answered a TQ about how I feel about her. :) Basically, I think there is much more to her character than we have seen due to viewing all of the story through Harry's eyes. And the fact that she has such an image about her she wants to maintain as a Prefect, etc. But that's just my take on her. And just from experience, being in love and being attracted to someone who loves you back can bring out whole new sides of you that you never knew existed.

*Sigh* And not only is the song amazing, LUDO is amazing.

Thank you so much for the read and the review!!

Bine!

This was a beautiful fic. I loved the way it oscillated between optimism and grief, mirroring life in its entirety. There were so many lines I loved in the story. These are some of my favorites:

“‘Ted,’ his name slips from your lips, a lone whisper in the early morning breeze that accompanies your path up the hill.”

Because they are my new OTP, :D, and because this line is just so real. Sometimes, we just can’t stop ourselves from uttering the names of those whom we have lost.

“He needs your love, and you are determined to give him all the colours in the world to see the beauty of life.”

Because this ties in so nicely with Tonks’s hair, and the greyness which has now enveloped Andromeda’s life.

“You will never forget the day life and hope returned. As you will never forget that death is inevitable, but still sad for those that are left behind.”

Because this is a great ending. Andromeda had the hardest time of it, didn’t she? Ted, then Dora and Remus…I can’t imagine anyone going through so much pain. It is impossible to think she’d be fully cured of it, and I was impressed with how you left that in instead of going for traditional optimism.

Great work, darling.

~Natalie.

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Natalie, dear. Your nice words painted a smile on my face.

Wowies! I absolutely loved your story.

I confess I was a little unsure at first, but as I read on, I started enjoying it. By the end of the story, I even felt all teary. Lol!

Seriously. The best part about your story was that your characterization was spot-on. Ron, especially. His jabs was very much IC, as also his nervousness and irritability. I also loved Harry and Hermione. I knew Harry would solve the puzzle, and he rose to the occasion. ;) Hermione was great, too. Wow! She actually got Ron a flying car? I wonder how she managed to convince the Ministry, though.

Here are the parts which I loved:

“It was Christmas time and that was a good of a time as any to show some neighborly affection. Harry and Ron waved back, but when the Muggle turned to do a double take, they were gone.

“Damn eggnog,” muttered the Muggle and he continued to walk down the street.”

And,

“But I don’t know which ones she’s read and which ones she hasn’t! You should see how many books she has, Harry – well you have seen…”

And,

“But I can’t ask her stuff like that!” complained Ron angrily. “She would just say – ” he changed his voice at this point, giving an uncannily good impression of Hermione, “Ron, you’re not being a supportive enough husband. I searched and put in a lot of time and effort to get you your present and you can’t even try to get me a decent gift?”

“Wow, that was good,” complimented Harry.

“Yeah.” Ron shrugged. “That’s what she said to me last year.”

And,

“So you bought a license for it and registered it and everything?” asked Ron.

“Of course,” said Hermione brightly.

“What’d you go ahead and do that for?” Ron asked in mock horror.

And finally,

“We’re naming the owl Modwen,” Ron told Hugo, his tone borderline threatening, “and you’re right, she isn’t your owl. When you get an owl next year, you can name it whatever you want to. Just make sure your sister doesn’t call it something stupid until that’s all it will answer to.”

Classic Ron! Great job for a first fic.

Author's Response: Wow! Thank you for your very detailed response! I’m glad that you thought everyone was in character. Though I love humor in stories, I’m not that great at writing it myself and since Ron’s character is based largely upon his humor and jabs as you so aptly put it, I was nervous that he hadn’t come out quite right. So I am very pleased that you thought he was spot-on! Eventually I want to do a more detailed next generation fic with the kids, but first I have to get familiar with their parents’ traits (and quirks!) so that it will sound more realistic. Hopefully this helped me out a little! I don’t know when I’ll get around to writing that with school just starting and everything, but I’ll try to get working on that soon. In answer to how Hermione was able to legally give Ron the flying car, as I had said in the Author’s Note, JKR mentioned in an interview that Hermione had worked in Magical Law, so I’m sure she found some sort of loophole! *grins* Thanks again!!

Hello again!

I found your writing such a delight that I just had to visit your author’s page and read the others. After reading this, I can say without any doubt that you are very, very gifted at writing humor. What’s more, you manage to shape your characters well and in character; at the same time, you achieve this without being cliché.

I quite love the idea that Dumbledore met Neville in such a fashion, and reprimanded Great Uncle Algie for his carelessness. And Augusta Longbottom was fun as usual, even though she did not make an appearance. As for Neville being chatty, I do agree with your reasoning – in the company of someone so kind and willing to like him without being scary or careless, he might want to be himself without restraint.

So, all in all, great job! I’m looking forward to reading more of your fics.

~Natalie.

Author's Response:

Hello again Natalie!

Well, I'm very flattered that you read another of my fics based on 'I Will Survive'! What a lovely compliment.

I've always found it annoying that Great Ulgie Algie appeared to have gotten off scot-free for almost killing his nephew. There really should have been some allusion to a punishment ibeing attributed to him n the book, given the nature of his utter foolishness. But as there isn't, it seemed only right to at least correct the oversight in the form of a fanfic.

Which was, of course, a good excuse to have a little pre-Hogwarts Dumbledore/Neville moment! Poor Nev is always portrayed as being a little shy and rather nervous. but I like to think that in the right circumstances, he could have behaved as naturally as any other little boy of eight-years-old. And who better to draw him out of his shell than Albus?

I must admit, I'm a big fan of Augusta's - especially after reading in DH that she wiped the floor with Dawlish and sent him to St Mungo's after the idiot dared to underestimate her. She reminds me very much of my late Aunty Jeannie (my fabulously eccentric old Scots aunty who served mouldy biscuits to guests - she never realised they were out of date - and insisted on clambering up a stepladder and changing the living-room light bulbs herself, even though she was WELL into her seventies).

Thanks very much for the positive feedback on this. I write mainly about supporting characters, so cliches are a bit easier to avoid, but it can be tricky trying to envisage JK's mental image of them if it's one of the more minor ones (such as Algie or Augusta) and staying true to that! I'm delighted you enjoyed the fic, m'dear!

Thanks for R & R-ing,

M ;)

It is hard to distinguish what is cliché and what is not when it comes to Severus, because his character traits are such – you can’t help but use those traits, and then write it so without ending up feeling, “Hasn’t someone else done this before?”

This story, however, showed the reader us a credible portrayal of Severus, the child. The approach is fresh and unbiased. We see a child who has been deprived of the very innocence of childhood. He is already cunning, coldly logical – but there is no malice as yet. He just knows who he is, and he’s going to live according to that.

He sometimes wishes he could rescue his mother from his father’s wrath, but he is realistic about his size, his abilities and his personality. He is a stringy, underfed child, with no physical way of fighting back and no wand. He is no selfless, chivalrous Gryffindor, either. He knows he will be a Slytherin. Slytherins watch out for themselves first, others second. He knows when to flee, and he knows he must leave his mother to fend for herself. Besides, she never stands up for him, either.

No wonder the Sorting Hat out him in Slytherin, and I don’t mean this as a rebuke.

And yet, there are moments when his maturity is interwoven with childlike honesty:

He hangs back, unsure. His gaunt appearance and worn clothes have never encouraged others to befriend him before. Besides, he has no idea of how to start a conversation with her. Even with his lack of social skills, he suspects that saying “I’m in awe of you,” isn’t the right thing to say.

And the ending is of the best I have ever come across:

The younger girl obviously looked up to her sister, and had apologised whenever she exercised her powers. He wanted her to know that her magic was amazing and breathtaking, not despicable. He needs to rescue her from the tyranny of her mundane older sister, he decides, and expose her to the wonders of the magical world to which she so clearly belongs.

Hours earlier, he had thought he’d never be anyone’s knight in shining armour. Now, he’s seen a different kind of damsel in distress, he desperately wants to be.

A beautiful, poignant fic. Thank you.

Author's Response: I've been meaning to respond to your review for ages, but I've procrastinated. The review itself is so lovely, I know my response won't be anywhere near adequate. I just reread it now, and I'm grinning from ear to ear. I worked really hard on trying to get my characterization of Severus right. I tried to combine the tiny glimpses we get from the HP books at Snape's childhood with his behavior as an adult throughout the series into a logical characterization of him a couple of years pre-Hogwarts. I'm so happy you think I got it right. Your praise of the ending almost means more to me, though, as endings are not usually my strong point. In sum, I'm so incredibly glad to know that this story touched you, and I want to know that your review may have touched me more.

When I saw the chosen character in the first drabble, I knew then and there that it was going to be an interesting read. (That’s why I was volunteered to be your cheerleader. Lol!) Who would have thought of Percy? Pompous and cocksure in the books, many people simply take it for granted that he was confident of himself all the time. I think your examination of that assumption was what made the story great for me.

However, you still kept a nervous Percy IC.

“He would be free to make new friends, to gain more knowledge…but as this moment was now upon him, he suddenly realized how terrified he was. And how much he was going to miss everyone. He almost snorted at the thought. Well, almost everyone. He was sure he could get used to living without fear of what Fred and George were dreaming up.”

“Need any help from us, little brother?" Bill asked, looking down at Percy, whose right hand was still gripping his trunk firmly.

Percy shook his head. "No, thank you, Bill. I'm sure I'll manage."

“Your greatest journey is about to begin, he reminded himself firmly.

If he could just stop being so nervous. “

Of course, Percy would think he was headed for the Olympics; he would be so sure that he would shine above the rest at Hogwarts. But there was that Weasley in him – he still loves his brother though in spite of the differences.

“Throughout all of this, Percy stared. His brothers were sitting with him on the way to Hogwarts? Didn’t…didn't they have friends they'd rather sit with? And he'd already had a friendly conversation with a stranger who didn't seem to find him odd or pompous. His heart swelled as he listened to Charlie's familiar voice and watched his two brothers settle into their compartment. They were letting him branch out…but they were not leaving him. He suddenly grinned. “

This was probably my favorite part of the story. I love the Weasleys because they always come back to each other in the end. And Percy may have acted like a prat, but he is still a Weasley. You didn’t show him being a snooty git – he still has that innocence. Hmm…maybe it was the Prefect Badge that corrupted him. Lol! Kidding.

“He felt a silly grin spreading over his face again, but for once he did not care. There was no Ron, no Ginny, and thank heavens no twins. He did not have to be the responsible one, for once - at least, not tonight. He felt like running up and down the halls of the train with his arms stretched wide, laughing -”

I loved this part too. This is definitely the Percy who hexed Thicknesse. ;) It actually made me take Percy seriously (because, seriously, I never took him seriously before). I am sure Molly’s high expectations and demands from her children had to take their toll on at least one child – and it was Percy. He had to fulfill those dreams for her; he had to be the responsible one. Bill was cooler about this – he took things in his stride. But Percy must have felt that he had to live up to that Head Boy thing too.

The Sorting was great to read. If the Hat had not thought of putting Percy in Slytherin, I would have raised my eye-brows. He certainly seems to possess a few qualities of that house (no offence to Slytherins!). But you gave convincing reasons why the Hat chose Gryffindor. The Weasley thing comes into play again, but Percy’s sense of righteousness also contributes to his being selected for that very house.

So, what I am trying to say in a roundabout fashion is that, you wrote a well-rounded Percy (ha ha – what an odd choice of words. Well rounded Percy!) I mean to say, you saved him from being a one-dimensional character.

Charlie, Bill and Oliver were nicely written. Charlie and Bill always had a camaraderie going on them – remember the mid-air table fight in GOF? Here, you managed to capture that spirit. :) Poor Oliver, on the other hand, is already obsessed with Quidditch. :D

On a side note, I was a little confused at Molly’s absence at first. But then, I remembered someone has to look after Ron, Ginny and the twins (always a handful). Is that why she wasn’t there to see her sons off?

All in all, I thought this was the best entry for the competition, because you took a risk with your choice of character yet did it so well in the end.

~Natalie.

Author's Response:

Natalie! Twin sister! I squeed at work when I saw this amazing review! Even if it was so long because it was telling me how bad my story was, it shows you took the time to tell me why. >.<.

Hello!

What a pleasant thing to read right now. The flat is quiet and peaceful, I’m all cuddled up on my bed, the weather is warm and cool at the same time, and – guess what – my tummy is full and content. Yes, this fic is perfect.

The competition between Andromeda and Harry is something to be expected, isn’t it? Teddy was luckier than Harry, but having two guardians would be a blessing and curse at the same time. Yet, he deals with that so well, even for a child. Guess it’s the Lupin in him.

The title couldn’t have been more fitting. I was wondering how you were going to resolve your story because the second part seemed to meander away a little, but then it tied up so well at the end. A balancing act indeed! That was certainly a clever little twist there. Like Teddy, I was under the impression that Andromeda resented the Phoenix feather core. When Andromeda revealed it was because Tonks had used a mahogany wand, it was, therefore, both relieving and saddening.

What do I say about the characterisation? It was nicely done for all three characters. My favourite, of course, was Teddy. You wrote the eleven-year-old rather convincingly.

Great work, Hannah!

~Natalie.

Hi there Alyssa!

I read this fic some days ago, and I was planning to leave a review, but I didn’t want it to be a “OMG that was totally awesome!!1” kind of review, so I waited. ;)

I loved this fic, and ended up surprising myself because, now, who really likes Crabbe and Goyle? So, I guess that’s where I’ll start my review. Your choice of characters had a refreshing novelty about it. I think us fanfiction authors need to explore more, give the minor characters their share of the limelight. And, actually, that’s where the bigger challenge lies. You have these two characters whose history we know almost nothing of – apart from being Malfoy’s sidekicks, and Voldemort’s hounds, who are Crabbe and Goyle? We tend to see them as twin human gargoyles, while forgetting that they are humans, hence, they are unique in their own way.

And you succeeded. You showed the basic difference between Crabbe and Goyle. Crabbe relished cruelty, he was prepared for murder – Goyle, not so much. While almost all readers are aware of that fact, how many of us are willing to write a story on that? Very, very few of us. But you took the theme in your stride, and wrote a really great one-shot. There was nothing over-the-top or far-fetched about it. In fact, the blunt honesty with which Goyle expresses his feelings and uncertainties lent it credibility. I can very much picture Goyle liking Crabbe that way. I’m convinced.

I like to think that the secret of your success here is how you handled the characters. They are so much in character, yet you added another dimension to them, and that addition was done with so much tact:

“When I was serving my time in Azkaban, the only thing that kept me sane was the thought that I could have it worse. I could be dead. Like Vincent. I had to stay strong so I wouldn’t ruin my life. Since he was dead, I needed to do the living for the both of us. I couldn’t do that if I was insane.”

I really liked that part. Goyle was not such a fool, after all. And I loved the ending, I did. It’s a terse four lines, but the bitterness, the disillusionment, the regret, even the optimism – everything has been blended so well.

My only nitpick is that it’s “Fiendfyre,” not “Fiend Fire.” But since it’s dear ol’ Gregory Goyle, I’m willing to let it slip.

~Natalie.

Author's Response: Oh my gosh, Natalie, thank you so much! I'm glad that you think I succeeded with the characterization of them. I was so scared that it was going to be off. I'm so happy that you said that. It took a big weight off of my shoulders. I'm glad that you liked the ending. I always try to have a good ending to my stories, so I'm glad that it worked. On the nitpick - how could I miss that?!? I had the book open the whole time I write this! Thank you so much for pointing it out. I'll have to change it sometime soon. Thanks again for reading and reviewing!