Hiya! Remember me? Sorry for taking so long to review the next chapter. I didn't forget about you ^_^'.
Whoo! Finally they figure out WHAT Remus is. This is getting goooooood. Gah! But I have soooo much to read in order to catch up. xD
Author's Response: Yes I remember you! Glad you got back to reading this :) Yep, they figured it out, you'll catch up soon. Thanks for reading!
Hey there! I randomly found your story using the top tens, and so now i thought i would give a review.
This is like reading Harry Potter all over again, but only with the Marauders...back at year one. I actually loved how each of the four families were boasting about their bloodline, always saying that they do well and what not. I only found one awkward sentence:
They stopped outside the barrier between platforms nine and ten and waited patiently, looking for the perfect chance the race through the barrier and onto Platform Nine and Three Quarters.
It should be to race instead of the race.
Other than that, nicely done. On to chapter two! =D
Author's Response: It was fun to write all the different families and how they would do things like that. Oh that is an awkward sentence, missed that one when I was editing. I'll fix it right now. Thanks for reading!
Another good chapter. However, I do want to say that there was one part I didn't like. I just feel that using McGonagall's exact speech from the book overdoes it a bit. BUT as I read, that one bit didn't stick in my mind as much. I was sort of disappointed not seeing a Sorting Hat song, but hey, it's your fanfic right? Another great job.
Author's Response: I'm not sure if Professor McGonagall really ever said anything different, the rules would be the same for each year. I tried to change it a bit, but I've read it so many times, it's ingrained in my head. Noo you don't want to see a Sorting Hat song I wrote, trust me, you'll be a lot happier. Thanks for reading!
“That way,” the hag said, pointing in the direction Peter had suggested – the hallway to the left, once they came out of the hallway one they were in.
That sentence was awkward to me.
Crane's a bit like the adult version of Snape. Lighting a desk on fire? That sounds bloody brilliant xD
I'm actually enjoying how things are starting to unfold with Remus' end. Can't wait to keep reading more. =D
Author's Response: That sentence is awkward, I have no idea why I have the word 'one' after hallway. I'll go fix that. Crane is kind of like Snape, but I'd take Snape over Crane as a professor. Thanks for reading!
Well, I mentioned before how Crane's similar to Snape. I take that back. Crane's worse than Snape. At least with Snape, he had a reason to be cruel and what not toward Harry. But with Crane acting terrible toward Remus, he has no reason at all whatsoever.
This is very good! I'm eager to keep reading this. I wonder how many chapters I can read and comment on today.
Author's Response: Exactly why I I said I'd take Snape over Crane. Crane's just a prejudiced jerk. He sees a situation he can take advantage of and goes for it. You did pretty good for one day - 10 chapters. Thanks for reading!
Hm. I wonder what Crane's playing at...He wouldn't just change his mind about being 'unfair' unless he wants to have more fun. Interesting. Very interesting. I guess there's a good thing about having all these chapters before me, I don't have to wait for an update. I love how you made Remus get snappier with him becoming a werewolf and what not. Good job =D
Author's Response: Crane's messing with Remus's mind, never letting him know when he's going to be horrible next (which will probably be during their next class). Yeah, you're lucky you don't have to wait because right now I don't know when I'm going to update. It's fun writing Remus get snappy, he needs to be a bit snappy when he's gotten frustrated. Thanks for reading!
Oh! I never told you how much I love Sirrus' idea for hanging Crane up by his knickers. The only people insane enough to actually try and pull something like that off would be Fred and George. =P
I did not believe that I would have to reiterate to you the important of staying away from the tree, but the events of today prove that I must.
It should be importance, not important ;)
You know, I think I'm beginning to realize that Alice Gordon is the future Alice Longbottom? I hope so, 'cause then I could say nothing gets by me.
Flitwick's sister's been killed?!?!?! Could it be the works of...Voldemort...!!!
Author's Response: I love that idea too, but James was right, they couldn't pull it off without being caught. Fred and George I can see doing that, they didn't have a voice of reason keeping them from doing that. Oh another stupid mistake, I shall fix it! Yes Alice Gordon is the future Alice Longbottom. She actually just got married in the chapter I finished writing. Yes Flitwick's siter's death is the product of the lovely Dark Lord.
Ooo a bit of a tense moment? I was hoping for some action! All three had their wands out, i was hoping Black would try and fight them off. A pity. Well that's seven chapters down...seventy to go =D
Author's Response: The men aren't crazy enough to hex a woman in the middle of platform nine and three quarters. It would have been cool, but they just wouldn't do it. Yep, seven chapters down! Thanks for reading!
I find it so sad that Peter was the one who betrayed Lily and James to the Blacks. I mean, he just wanted to have friends. It makes me feel bad for him, especially reading this fanfic.
I'm sensing that Voldemort had a little fun in this so far. And I wonder what Mrs. Black wanted. Hmm...
Well off to another chapter =D
Author's Response: It is sad that Peter's the one who betrayed them, in the later chapters posted you'll see how he starts sliding away from his friends. Mrs. Black just wanted Sirius to play the 'good son' role and socialize. Thanks for reading!
I was surprised to see that Lily's helping with this little scheme. I wonder how it's going to play out in the end. Poor poor Remus though =((
Author's Response: Lily hates Crane just as much as they do, she can't stand his behavior. Besides, Lily helping is a way to get her to hate James soon. You're only a chapter away from finding out how it goes. Thanks for reading!
Honestly, if the teachers had the faintest idea of what they were doing, I don't think they would let them continue with it. And how would they know unless they told a teacher theirself.
Author's Response: No, they wouldn't let them continue, but they would never tell a teacher. Thanks for reading!
Sirius seemed suspicious earlier about Remus getting sick and all. I wonder if at this point he has any clue that he's a werewolf.
The prank went off brilliantly, at least they got rid of Crane. I hope that's the last I see of him. Though I was surprised he fell for the "haunted" bit so easily like that.
Author's Response: There's only a few more chapters until they find out Remus is a werewolf. Crane may be tough, but he isn't that smart. The haunted bit just helped make the prank come off better. Thanks for reading!
“Tell them he’s sick then, and he can’t have any visitors. Please.”
It should be tell them he's sick. xD
I would honestly be like James, screaming if seaweed was caught between my feet and what not. I get scared so easily and I can be such a girl.
It's still going good, but I think I find that I liked the story more when they're at Hogwarts. But everyone's got to have a summer. I'll just keep reading =D
Author's Response: I'd probably scream too if something like seaweed wrapped around my leg, but of course James is going to be mad fun of, that's what friends do. The story is more fun when they're at Hogwarts, but I usually put in one or two chapters for their summer. Thanks for reading!
Remus always made it a point to great him.
Greet not great ;)
Well, I wonder what else they think could be affecting Remus. There can't be too much that happens ONCE a month to someone =P
Author's Response: Woops. I'll go check that out now... They're only 12, they don't think werewolf right off. It bothers me when I see stories where they instantly think werewolf. They do a bit of research and you'll see how they find out in chapter 16. Thanks for reading!
I really want to see a sorting hat song =P I'm going to keep hoping too. xD
Poor Sirius =( He will never know the good Regulus did...that would've made him love his brother more.
Author's Response: There's not going to be one... sometimes you won't even see the Sorting. I wrote one once, I think it's in one of my other stories, not sure. But I didn't like it. No, Sirius is never going to know what Regulus. If Sirius knew, he really would love Regulus more. Thanks for reading!
I thought James was a Seeker...or do you have that changing later?
They're getting closer and closer to finding out what Remus really is! Kinda exciting xD
Author's Response: I read in an interview with JKR that James was a Chaser, he only played with the snitch, but was never Seeker. Yep, they find out in the next chapter that he's a werewolf. Thanks for reading!
Bravo. I really enjoyed this one shot a lot. The way you had James and Lily go back and forth like that, it was perfect. I can honestly say I never understood how they wound up getting married and having Harry. It just doesn't make sense from what we read in the book.
Author's Response: True that. I'm glad you liked it. :D Thanks for the review. :)
This is good, I have to say that. But I just feel the dialogue somewhat threw it off a bit. But that could be just me xD
Author's Response: Thanks for your review and also letting me know that the dialogue threw you off. I appreciate it and I'm sorry that it was confusing.
It was good. The only "problem" I found (if you call it a problem) is this:
She re-thought the lines through and once she had gotten started, the words flew from her fingertips.
Usually when someone says 'words are flying through your fingertips' it implies typing. But Lavender is writing a letter with a quill.
Gosh, I can't believe Lav-Lav and Won-Won were nicknames. Makes me sick xD
Author's Response: Thanks for pointing that out. I didn't even catch that. I'll go back and change that. The nicknames (I suspect) make everyone sick--including me. Thank you for the review! ~MJ
The ending to this one shot wasn't as strong as your first. I think you should have at least ended it with a first kiss, whether it be James making the first move, or Lily, and have the reactions take place in the next one shot. Well, that's my ideal way I would do it...you're the author xD
I can't wait for the next sequel.
Author's Response: Hm, I wanted to show that the whole thing happens gradually, that Lily didn't fall in love with James over night. That she hated him, then liked him. They became friends, and then she started to realise that she loved him. A year is a long enough time for someone to fall in love. ;) The sequel would have the kiss though, so don't worry. :)
Thanks for leaving a review. :D