I really like this story!! I just haven't had time to read it before but now I'll definitely find some time because it's really good! I love the little insertion of all the old characters, like Andromeda and Hagrid and Dorcas Meadowes and Dirk Cresswell. And the characterisation of seventeen-year-old Arthur Weasley is so good. Molly too - she's got just enough Ginny in her yet retaining the vestiges of her own character - and it takes real skill to be able to do that, so well done. The only thing that I would change is when Molly says “Some kind of Scarlet Woman?” You don't really need to capitalise "scarlet woman" because JKR never did in canon, so you know... Sorry, I'm just a bit nitpicky with this kind of stuff, I just think it looks a bit strange, that's all.

Apart from that, I can't wait for the next chapter!!

~Soraya~

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading! I'll be sure to fix the Scarlet Woman thing. =P I'm glad you are liking it. =D Thank you for the review!

*gasp*

Julia, I am ashamed to say that I have never read this before. I've always been put off with the EWE warning. But I finally decided to read it, and woooooow, was I pleased I did!

This is one of your best pieces, this and Waiting. It was AMAZING! It actually brought tears to my eyes. There's just something so hauntingly beautiful and honest about your writing style, and as you can tell, I loved it. I don't quite know how to describe it, but it's artistic and poetic, and I know you are both, judging by the beauty of your banners and poetry.

You've convinced me of Harmony. I never, ever thought I'd say that, being an ardent Harry/Ginny shipper, but even the most passionate Harry/Ginny shipper would not be able to deny the sheer beauty of this. This was absolutely amazingly fantabulous in every way and curse me for not reading more of your work! I shall have to rectify that soon.

~Soraya~

Author's Response: Hi Soraya! Thanks so much for your lovely review. I always find it such a compliment if something I wrote evoked such an emotional response. So I really, truly appreciate this :) And to convince a canon shipper of Harmony... well, that's the best news of all! Harmony is a controversial ship but I'm so glad you found my portrayal of their relationship realistic. Again, thank you so much for this review. It brought a smile to my face :) - Julia x

Hi Natalie,

When I asked Jess for story recommendations the other day, she described this story as “flailfic”, and after reading it, I must say I certainly agree with her :) There are so many things about this story that make you shine as an author. I love your lyrical writing style as well as the effortless way in which you have managed to make this pairing, the rarest of rarepairs, work so naturally.

First person worked beautifully here in establishing Rabastan’s voice. I felt so close to him as a character, and that really intensified the emotions he felt from the outset. This, I think, is even more important because so much of this story is driven by the characters themselves and what they say, rather than the plot, and it was due to the style of the story that I was gripped, right from the beginning: Truth, when it comes to human emotions, is such an odd thing. Can you put a finger on it? No, you cannot. I loved how you managed to convey so much of Rabastan’s character through how he seemed to play with his own thoughts. Usually, I think the exploration of quite abstract concepts normally only work in poetry, but here, it is such a joy to read because it really is like I’m in his head and I can see him question himself, making me really understand Rabastan. Given he’s a minor character in canon with little to no lines in the books, I think you built on what you knew about him -- being a Lestrange, his brother being married to Bellatrix, his allegiance to Voldemort -- excellently and also added in some intriguing character traits that made his characterisation unique.

Rabastan’s view of Regulus is intriguing to read, not just of his attraction to Regulus but also his eventual regret for initiating him into Voldemort’s circle. I feel there is a lot more humanity in Rabastan through that, and it’s so interesting seeing Regulus through Rabastan’s eyes, because Regulus seems like the only person who can see through him. I love Regulus’s brutal honesty, too; his willingness to tell Rabastan the truth is admirable and makes him such a likeable character, especially when he says, “You aren’t calm or composed; you’re passive and callous and cynical.”. And by making both the characters so well-rounded, it adds so much to the chemistry between them and therefore made their kiss seem like the only logical thing, even if they were both on weed at the time.

That said, I do think that, at times, the space of a few months in only a couple of paragraphs meant the story was going a bit too fast, so perhaps bear in mind for the future (assuming you’re going to continue this story -- I hope you do!) how a lot of their backstory seems to have been told rather than shown. For example, I feel I would have been a little more convinced if there was an actual interaction before their first kiss so Rabastan’s attraction to Regulus could be shown in a clearer way, rather than simply being told that Rabastan is attracted to Regulus. But that’s quite minor, particularly as that chemistry quickly picks up, after the changing room scene. On another note, I really liked the use of italics when Rabastan and Regulus were meeting up. I know it’s something you use quite often in your fics, but it works really well here, especially because of the introspective nature of the story.

Also, I really liked how Regulus bought Rabastan a ring -- that’s a really romantic gesture, but also, I loved the use of Protego and the line Last time I checked, Slytherins could love, because I think that is a really valid point considering the usual stereotypes regarding Slytherin being the supposedly “bad” house and so on. The use of Protego also linked it nicely to canon, as did, of course, the mentions of Death Eaters and the entrance of James, too. I can see how Regulus and Rabastan’s exchange in chapter one might have been misconstrued by James, and I think that whole exchange was really tersely written; even though he only appeared for a moment, James’ characterisation was spot on, especially through Rabastan’s eyes.

Overall, I think this was an amazing start to the story. I’m not sure if it will be updated, Natalie, but I hope it will, because I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and am eager to read more. :)

Soraya xxx

Author's Response: Soraya!!!!

That was such a great angsty fic. I usually hate them, I'll be honest - but this one is so well written, with the characters that I love the most (Tonks and Remus and Teddy) - that it was brilliant all the same. The characterisation of Tonks as a loving mother and Andromeda was absolutely fabulous and I loved the 2nd person POV. It was spectacular in every way and I'm going to look at your other stories right now. :)

~Soraya~

Author's Response: WOW. Thank you so so so much for all of your absolutely lovely words! You've really made me happy :)

Thanks for taking the time to read and review, and I hope you enjoy my other stories :)

--Emma

That was really funny. I think that it should be in the Humor Fics rather than General because it's such a hilarious piece. It was cleverly written and fabulously characterised.

~Soraya~

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the great review! You know, I thought about putting it in the Humor category but just wasn't sure since I wanted it to come across as sort of subtle. Guess it's not, lol. I'll keep thinking about it. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for the compliments, I really appreciate it! ~Gina :D

That was really, really deep! I love anything about souls, and I liked the repetition. When JKR wrote that killing rips the soul apart, I thought it was really true. Because, really, at the end of the day, if you die, what's left is your soul, and if that's torn apart.. Anyway, I'll stop rambling now. Just want to say, though, that your poem really touched my heart :D

~Soraya~

Author's Response: I love the rambling because I completely agree with you! Your soul is your tie to the world and if it remains untainted, then I guess that means you're a positive force. I'm really glad that my poem meant something to you! Getting reviews like yours keeps me writting. Thank you so much, ~Thestral

So I’ve been meaning to read this for a while, ever since What Lies Behind was nominated for a QSQ and ever since I read (and beta’d) Say. I’m not normally into stories featuring Slytherins, particularly minor Slytherins who have virtually no characterisation in canon, because what it normally creates is an almost-OC, and most OCs are just Mary-Sues/Gary-Stus. Your Theodore Nott was NOT like that (sorry, I couldn’t resist the pun :P) and I really enjoyed reading the backstory you created for him. I shall go through this section by section, since this is a rather long oneshot, although it didn’t drag or anything.

The use of second person in this story was very effective. I’ve become a big fan of second person lately; it gives me a personal insight into the main character’s mind, yet it doesn’t feel too personal, which first person can sometimes do, or too detached, like third person often feels. So yes, good choice of POV — it really worked here.

I love how you began this. The battle of Hogwarts — I felt like screaming at Pansy when she said she wanted to go, and when the Slytherins “evacuated” and then some of them returned to fight on Voldemort’s side. You displayed Theo’s uncertainty of loyalty here very well, especially by the references to how things were before the battle started in Hogwarts. The use of description in this first section is very well done, as is the comparison of life, of right and wrong, and of chess. I loved the chess reference especially because wizard chess is definitely a big thing in Potterverse, so it makes sense to have linked them.

As I read on to the next section, I have to say, your transition into flashback was very, very smoothly done.

Perhaps it is true what they say about your life flashing before your eyes before you die, because as you walk down the hall, you remember things you swore you never would.

The use of this paragraph was a very good idea, because then it made the flashback fit into the story well, and not seem sudden or anything. I love how the entire premise of the story is this thing of life flashing before your eyes when you know you might die — it’s so simple yet very original too, and I applaud you for that.

The first flashback is intriguing. Firstly, it made me understand partly why you wrote this in second person — a two-year-old’s first person POV must be really difficult to write, pretty much impossible since a two-year-old doesn’t have very developed thinking. Yet the way you painted his father here, Theo’s, already made me feel sorry for him. His father is horrible — all two-year-olds cry! Your portrayal of him as a not-quite-so-faithful Death Eater was really accurate, particularly because we only get a glimpse of how the Death Eaters gave up on Voldemort in the books. I think you wrote this part very well, and the mentions of the perfume and flowers make me think that the person holding Theo at the end of the section is his mum.

The next segment, when you went back to present (and again, the transition here was immaculately done) was intriguing and thought-provoking. I suppose to Death Eaters, jobs are meaningless, and you really brought that out here, especially in this line: your father wanted you to be nothing more than a Death Eater, wanted nothing more than for you to be a betrayer, torturer, murderer.

Those words really rang true for me — you emphasised the fact that at the end of the day, that’s what Death Eaters are, and the bluntness with which it is put gives the story a raw, real feel. As well as that, I wasn’t altogether surprised to see that Theo was named after his father — after all, he sounds like one of those guys who would do that.

The next flashback, at the end of Theo’s fourth year, was well-written, but I did think that there was an abrupt jump from Theo being two to being... fifteen? I thought it was rather sudden, and it might have been better to have another section in between here, because it made me wonder what went on in those thirteen years. That said, I do think that this point, Voldemort returning, was an important point of Theodore Nott Senior’s life, so I’m glad you did touch on that.

I liked the next section, about running away. It seems like a reasonable thing to do, given Theo’s circumstances, although as a reader, at this point, I didn’t know exactly what his family circumstances are. I’m guessing his mum is dead, or has ran away from his dad. I shall see as I read on.

I’ll admit it — I squee’d when I read that Theo was disappointed at Voldemort’s appearance, and that he thought Voldemort was worth mocking. This, I think, is a very realistic view of Voldemort, and the incredulity in this part was very well-conveyed, especially considering it’s in second person. I felt really sorry for Theo when he had to bow to Voldemort — it must have been difficult, considering he wanted to laugh at him just before. And then he swore his allegiance to Voldemort, and I really did feel for him there. I have always wondered how much it would hurt to have the Dark Mark burned onto your skin, and I think your use of description here showed this very well, while keeping Theo perfectly in character. I particularly liked the last sentence of this bit: And you are a slave.

I liked how you focused on the romance aspect of his life next. The fact that he obeyed pretty much every rule in the pureblood/Death Eater book was very, very good of him, particularly the pureblood girl rule — that must have been difficult. I liked how you moved on to the flashback again, starting with a game of chess — again, I’m loving the chess references here. And the girl was a Ravenclaw? Wow. This pairing, Lisa/Theo, is pretty unique. I’m a big fan of rarepairs, so I loved how you took two characters who are barely mentioned in the books and hardly characterised (definitely not, in the case of Lisa Turpin) and made them fully fleshed out characters in their own right, and then created a rarepair which I know I’ll love.

I loved how chess kind of bonded them together — that was really rather sweet, and romantic, but in a more unconventional way, which I really liked. And then when Lisa asks Theo the question I’ve been wondering... And I think I was right, considering Lisa’s comments about Thestrals. I loved how in character and Slytherin Theo remains throughout — the Mudblood comment is definitely Slythish, and by doing so, you stayed true to canon.

I do think it was a bit confusing, how you seemed to go back and forth in time, because I had to reread it. I think that’s just me, though, because I find it difficult to comprehend things since I am a bit sow sometimes.

I liked you portrayal of Draco here as well. It was in character and he stayed as selfish as he was in Potterverse, which I appreciated. And wow, I loved the elf’s dialogue too! That sounded like it was straight out of the book, so kudos to you for that.

And then the interaction between Lisa and Theo is so very believable. You’ve done a great job developing them as characters, so much so that I’m starting to think this is all canon. The same goes for Theo’s mum — she’s a perfect and solid OC, and I applaud you for making her so likeable, despite me only having a small glimpse of her in this story, in that flashback.

The whole premise of masks, too, was expertly interweaved into the story, and I thought it was a great, simple concept which you wrote incredibly well here. And then the confrontation between Theo and his dad... wow. Him wanting to protect Lisa, his hatred of his dad, all that was painted so believably, and I thought it was very emotional. And the flashback was amazing — it really explained Theo’s hatred of his dad, and why he missed his mum so much. I also loved the action scene that came after, and the little taste of romance I got as well. Very well done there.

And the last segment just blew me away! I loved how this was actually written entirely from Theo’s mum’s POV — that was ingenious, I tell you.

I did notice a few grammar errors here and there. They were nothing major, and in no way detracted how lovely this story was, but perhaps another read-through would iron those errors out? Also, there are a few Americanisms in this story, like “pants” being used instead of “trousers” (because “pants” in British English is underpants) so maybe you might want to find a Britpicker. As I say, though, they are only minor things, and overall, this story was stellar. Well done.

~Soraya~

Jessssssss! Okay, so you probably haven't seen on AIM, but I started reading this on the bus on the way home today, and I was so engrossed that I totally missed my stop, lol. And then I was waiting for another bus and reading the smut and giggling like mad because there were people around me and some little kid sitting next to me and all sorts, hehehehe.

Anyway. I think you've done a wonderful job here! Katie is such a lovely, well-rounded character. I love the details of her parents -- it hadn't occurred to me that she could be Muggleborn, but I guess that's my headcanon interefering :P I think you gave her a great backstory but without it ever becoming overwhelming. Also, I think it's good you had Katie have some issues herself, not only with the wider world and the problems she had as a Muggleborn, but also her body image. As you know, that's something very close to home, and I loved Oliver's insistence that she was beautiful. Oh and I loled so hard when Oliver said Katie eating the pizza was hot. You killed me there, seriously.

Okay, I do think that, at the beginning of the first chapter, there were parts that lacked emotion. I just... think the bit where Fred died was missing something -- maybe it would've been better to have some dialogue, show the actual scene instead. But I've mentioned this to you before, that you sometimes have the show/tell problem, so I won't go on about it, lol, especially as it wasn't a huge issue or anything, just something I noticed. On the whole, I liked how you jumped straight into the action, and I squeed at Oliver's rather spontaneous kiss.

Hmmm, I want to know what's happening next! I probably won't be able to review regularly, but rest assured I will be reading the rest during bus journeys :D Fab story, Jess, and I so get why this won not just one, but TWO QSQs. OliKatie ftw!

Soraya xxx

I'd like to first say that it was a pleasant surprise to find a sequel to Trickster so soon. It was a really good story so I'm really glad that you decided to continue it. I liked your first chapter, even though it was a bit on the short side, and it made me quite sad to see that Petunia hadn't changed much. I mean, I know that was going to happen anyway, but still, it wasn't nice, what she said.

I loved the characterisation of Lily, and how, even now, she's still trying to be friends with her sister. I do think that Lily might've said something back, though. Still, it's your story, not mine!

Overall, a good start, and I hope that this story is just as brilliant as Trickster!

~Soraya~

Author's Response: Haha don't worry, Lily can't be patient with Petunia forever ;) And these chapters may be a little shorter than Trickster's...but it's just so I can get them up faster! I'm glad you're enjoying it!!

That was great! Apologies for not reviewing the last few chapters -- RL has been so hectic recently, as has writing my own chaptered James/Lily fic. I have been following the story; I just haven't had the time to review them as I've been reading it on the go before school and in between revision and stuff.

I really like how you set up the scene in the Hogwarts Express, and how Leda saved Lily's life like that. It sort of forces the reader to like her, if you know what I mean, no matter how annoying she is. It was a very clever thing to do and I applaud you for that.

Two questiosn: how long will this story be and is "Leda" Leda's real name or is it an abbreviated form of another name? Sorry, just curious. :D

Last, last thing, I'd just like to point out some typos.

"I was like, um, duh, he’s clearly hyst trying" 'hyst' should be 'just', I think.

"Well I cane to yell at you" 'cane' should be 'came'.

"If its meant to be, it’s meant to be" 'its' should be 'it's'.

“now what to we do?” 'to' should be 'do'.

However, nitpicks aside, I loved this chapter, particularly the ending. I hope Leda's OK with it, but I know that even if she isn't, James and Lily will still be together. :D

~Soraya~