Awwww baby Harry ;) And Remus! GIna, this was lovely. I think you're one of the very few people who can pull off first person Marauder, and I think you did a great job here.

I never really thought about how Remus must've been feeling during that train journey. You really captured that feeling of nostalgia and the sadness Remus must have felt while his friend's son was in the same compartment as him. And I love the banteryness of the Marauders even before they become Marauders, lol.

The ending was fab, especially the line "I have not come to Hogwarts for a job, nor have I really come to teach. I have come for Harry, so that Sirius cannot." I just feel like yelling at Remus that he's wrong, hahahahaha. Oh, but I did think it was a little rushed towards the end, when Harry collapsed, as I would have liked to see more of teh dialogue before Harry had woken up, etc, but I do understand that there was a word limit, so I suppose that's why.

All in all, Gina, this was a nice story that I enjoyed :) I will defnitely be back, if not on Eid, then the day after XD

Author's Response: Thank youuuuu, Soraya! I really appreciate the review and all your lovely comments. Yes, if I could have included a bit more when it came time for the Dementors to show up, I probably would have, but there was that word limit. Jess mentioned expanding it for the archives but I never really considered it. If I had, that's probably something I would have added, plus a bit more at the end. Ah well. I'm still happy with the way the memories turned out. Thanks for the compliment on the Marauders. I do love them, you know! Thanks againnnnnn! ~Gina :)

Hello, Carole :)

Wow, what a fabulous story! I really have not been reading much outside of QSQs, and I am so glad I chose to read this one of yours, because I very much enjoyed reading it. All the characters, both original and canon, were fully-realised, which I think is important for what is quite a character-driven piece. I thought it was exceptionally well-written, too, with quite a different feel compared to most of your other stories -- as Natalie said, it could convert into OF quite easily since it’s a mostly OC cast, so maybe that’s something to think about.

I’ve found that one of the biggest challenges in writing OCs is making them normal. So often, OCs have tragic backstories or amazing superpowers, and it was lovely to see such ordinary characters in this story and yet with each of them having such distinctive characteristics. Danny was so likeable and confident, and I found his nonchalance and detachment when it came to the people he had flings with on the beach fascinating. Details like that really made him stand out, and I felt so sad for him when he seemed to dismiss commitment so quickly with Oliver. And it was great how you slowly unpeeled layers of Danny’s character: though, to begin with, he was confident, by the end, it was clear Danny was actually really insecure, and even though he was comfortable with his own sexuality, obviously certain other people weren’t, like Mike. The complexity of the characterisation really was what made the story enjoyable for me.

I also found it interesting that Danny was the one who made a move on Oliver, as I’m so used to seeing Oliver being quite domineering and a lot stronger in the books, whereas here, Oliver seemed a lot more vulnerable. I think you explored that rather different side to Oliver wonderfully, particularly at the beginning with the cricket match when Oliver seemed quite shy at first, but then his competitive streak got the better of him. I really liked how you showed so much of Oliver’s character -- through Danny’s eyes -- with the cricket match, the way Oliver was obviously very skilled at the game despite never having played it before. And you did a great job with the awkwardness of the sex; Oliver’s inexperience was so endearing to read about, and given he was just coming to terms with his sexuality, it makes perfect sense that that was something he wouldn’t know much about. However, I did think that, at times, the sexual situations were a bit much for the 6th-7th rating (especially with the use of “cock”), so perhaps consider pushing the rating up to Professors?

The other more minor characters, like Kay and Mike, were really well fleshed out. I particularly liked Kay, and I found it amusing that she and her brother were chasing after the same guy. Kay provided some welcome comic relief to the story, I think, and though I found Mike annoying, again, he was characterised excellently. So were Oliver’s parents -- having known Oliver’s father’s abusive backstory, I still found the scene when he found Oliver and Danny shocking and heartrending to read, but at the same time, I think you dealt with the subject sensitively. I was so glad to see Oliver’s mother come to the rescue, although I wasn’t entirely sure of her character. At first, she seemed really likeable, especially when she was helping Danny get to the hospital, but when she was with Danny and she told him Oliver wouldn’t be seeing him again, I thought there was something dubious about her. Why was she so mean to Danny? I have a feeling she might have been homophobic, but I'm not really sure. Hmm. That isn’t criticism, as such -- I would just like to read more of her, because she is certainly a fascinating character. :)

Your use of first person was expertly done -- I loved how well you captured Danny’s voice, because it really established the foundations of his character, which is so important for an OC-centric story. I know it’s not always your favourite POV to write, but I definitely think it was the right decision here. It made the story so much more personal, and never was it stilted or did it break the flow. Instead, I felt I really got to know Danny throughout the story and was a lot closer to his emotions, and I think that’s what made the romance and Danny’s attraction to Oliver so convincing. And after reading Drowning, Not Waving, I feel that events are put into perspective so much more, seeing Danny’s side to things. I especially liked the use of words like “grockle”; using local dialect always helps add that extra bit of authenticity to the narrative, and it added to the realism of the story.

Even though this story was mostly driven on by characterisation, I thought the little details were excellent, particularly the Muggles’ suspicions about what went on in Tinworth. I liked how this fits into canon perfectly, with the mentions of the war later on and the fact that Penelope Clearwater went to the same school as Danny. I really liked how you could make those connections with canon and yet not make it seem shoehorned in. The fact that the story was written from the point of view of a Muggle just makes that even more impressive :)

On another note, I thought the ending was a little rushed. The story seemed to wrap up too quickly for my liking, and I would have liked to know how things went with Oliver and Danny and why Oliver decided to return when he did, but I appreciate that you had a word count restriction because of the challenge. Nevertheless, I did like the fact that Danny became a writer, since, as a writer myself, I really do understand why Danny essentially self-inserted in his novel. And Danny wrote supernatural novels! That made me smile, because I can see that happening for sure, given Oliver’s mother did magic in front of him and everything -- it makes sense that Danny would be intrigued by magic and would want to write about it. That was yet another wonderful touch to the story, and it said so much about Danny as a Muggle: the fact that he didn’t seem scared by it but was fascinated by it was such a refreshing change from what I normally read about Muggles discovering magic.

Carole, I have to say, this is one of my favourite stories by you. I enjoyed it greatly. Good luck in the challenge, and I will try to remember to nominate it for the QSQs next year!

Soraya xxx

Author's Response: Flailing at the SPEW review. Thank you so much, Soraya, this means such a great deal to me because I did work at this story. It's been in the process of being written for well over a year, so when I finally set down to write it, it was with some trepidation.

I'm pleased you picked up on Danny's insecurity, largely covered by his dismissive attitude. I do think, that in spite of our much more liberal times, that some people are always going to be very uncomfortable around homosexuality, or they just take the pee the whole time. Mike, whilst I'm sure he'd say he's fine, is so unrelaxed by it, and although I don't think he'd ever be overtly prejudiced, he's never going to condone Danny's lifestyle.

Hmm, interesting what you said about Oliver's mum. In DNW, she is far more sympathetic, but Oliver is eighteen in that story, and here he's sixteen and this is the first time she's realised that her son might be gay. I don't think she's prejudiced, but she is very protective and knows what her husband could do to Oliver. Yes, she's not at all nice to Danny, (although she gives him Skele-Gro) but there's a part of her that is also protecting him. If there's any prejudice in her, it's a slight prejudice against Muggles because she's seen their reactions towards witches and wizards. Danny is one of those Muggles who is always going to be aware of magic, bit like a Squib (although he's not) and I think Selena is wary of that. When I eventually finish Riptide (the DNW sequel) you will see a little more of Selene and Robert Wood which I hope will hel;p slot this and her actions into place.

Gah, so much else I really should say after such a wonderful review, but I can't put it into words. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. ~Carole~

Hey Natalie,

Wow. This story truly took my breath away, to the point that I have reread it several times, and each time, I notice something I didn’t see before and appreciate the story even more. Your exploration of Sirius’s psyche during such a dark time in his life was so expertly done here. I could really feel Sirius’s claustrophobia and his loneliness in this story. What’s more, you pulled off Sirius’s voice so well that I was pretty sure I could hear his voice in my head, and that made this tale so much more vivid and realistic, for me.

One of my favourite aspects of this story was the use of first person, which I thought was the perfect choice for this style, and you got into Sirius’s head so incredibly well throughout, especially by Sirius seemingly talking to himself at the beginning of the story. I really understood, as a reader, the way Sirius was driven so close to insanity as a result of being in Azkaban. The fact that Sirius called himself a “mangy dog” was heartrending to read, not just because he was clearly going crazy, but also because Sirius’s own self-loathing was evident. Most importantly, though, I thought Sirius’s internal monologue sounded completely natural, exactly how I would have imagined his voice, which in turn made his mindset easy to empathise with.

Another stylistic strength of yours was rather unconventional storytelling. The use of long sentences, for instance, was something I found really built up the tension felt during the scene when Sirius asks Fudge for the newspaper. I felt there was so much pent-up emotion in that one sentence, especially because of the lack of commas, and that really reflected the endlessness of time that Sirius was feeling while in Azkaban. Similarly, I liked your use of other technical details that truly reflected the turbulence of Sirius’s emotions while in his cell — the use of capital letters, for example, as well as question and exclamation marks, were all used so effectively. I also appreciated the fact that these techniques were used sparingly, as I think this kind of experimentation is easy to overuse.

There is so much to love about this story in terms of characterisation, as well, because I could see so many sides of Sirius’s character in what is quite a short one-shot. Most noticeably, I could see Sirius’s loneliness as a result of being surrounded by the Dementors through your description of Azkaban and Sirius’s description of himself. I could really feel how oppressive the atmosphere was in prison, especially by how Sirius was bombarded with the sounds of the inmates, the Dementors and even nature. In the same way, I liked how you used smell to paint such a vivid picture of how overwhelming Azkaban was for Sirius as a character.

I thought you showed Sirius’s intelligence, despite his incarceration, really well through his eloquence in the narrative. There were so many beautifully written lines in this (my favourite being “I don’t have a lot of words to spare, when thought itself comes in brief spurts”) that juxtaposed perfectly with profanity, and I felt that Sirius, however angry, would remain well-spoken, something I really appreciated. On that note, upon first reading, I will admit that I found the part when Sirius asks Fudge for the newspaper a little too polite, considering his mindset throughout. But then I thought about it, and it actually makes sense, bearing in mind his upbringing, because I have a feeling Sirius probably had manners forced upon him by his parents.

Though this was clearly character-driven, I loved that this had a plot to it, too. The flashbacks with James were so touching and well-chosen. I particularly liked the one in which James asks Sirius to stay with him over the summer, because I can imagine Sirius would cling so much to his memories of James to keep away the Dementors. I did find the non-linearity confusing, at times, but in a good way, because I could also see how it was a good reflection of Sirius’s mind, which would have felt that confusion keenly all the time.

Finally, I thought you handled the issue of self-injury with its due sensitivity. It made sense, considering how badly he was affected by Dementors, that feeling pain was the only way for him to have more clarity. Those moments stayed with me long after I had finished the story, and I applaud you for exploring the topic so well, without it ever becoming gratuitous.

As I'm sure you can tell, Natalie, this was such a beautiful read and definitely one of my favourites by you. Your story touched me and made me even more attached to Sirius than I already was. Keep up the fabulous work!

Soraya xxx

Author's Response: SORAYA!

Awwwww, they are so adorably awkward together, lol. And yet I just want them to get back togetherrrrrrr.

This is a very short review because I really want to see where things are going, Gina, but rest assured I am loving it so far :D

Author's Response: Thanks so much, Soraya! I'm glad you are enjoying it so far and hope you enjoy the rest. It'll be short. More awkwardness to come. ;) Thank youuuuuu~ Gina :)

Hey Nadia,

What a great story! After receiving so many lovely reviews from you, I thought it was about time I returned the favour, and I must say, this story is up there with your best. Your exploration of Ron’s character was spot-on, both in terms of his mannerisms and actions, but also his deeper characteristics, like how his Boggart had changed over time. I also liked your portrayal of Ron and Hermione’s relationship. Ultimately, though, I thought it was Ron’s compelling characterisation that stood out to me and really drove your story forward.

Ron’s maturity and change in priorities in Deathly Hallows really showed in what his Boggart was. I admire how you dug into Ron’s psyche here, because I could see Ron changing and becoming tougher as he grew older, just as his Boggart was becoming more serious than simply a spider. As another reviewer mentioned, you demonstrated that some Boggarts are harder to overcome than others. I really liked the subtlety of Ron’s fear here -- perhaps the Boggart being Hermione’s dead body was expected, but I liked how you extended that, as he also had the dilemma in how to confront the Boggart. I myself don’t know how he could have made Hermione’s dead body funny or destroy it in any way, apart from by saving her, so I really connected with Ron during that moment. It reminded me of Molly’s Boggart in OotP, and I thought you emphasised how helpless Ron felt at not being able to help Hermione.

Hermione’s characterisation was wonderful, too. I liked that she still bossed Ron around and bickered with him, as that brought things back to canon and showed that their relationship hadn’t really changed much from when they were at school. I also thought it was interesting that Hermione overcame Ron’s Boggart for him. I really appreciated seeing their dependence on each other in this way, especially when Hermione admitted that she had depended on Ron, too, when she was being tortured by Bellatrix and Ron’s voice was the only thing keeping her going. Not only did you highlight Ron’s helplessness at the idea of Hermione’s death, but also, I think you really brought out how strong Ron’s feelings for Hermione were.

Style-wise, I felt your story really got to the bare bones of Ron’s character by the simple, pared down writing. I don’t think I would have identified with Ron nearly as strongly without that simplicity, and considering Ron’s worst fear is the focus of the story, it was fitting that the emotions were so powerfully felt, both in the present and past. I thought you incorporated the flashback of the events of Malfoy Manor effectively and in a way that was never confusing, which I know from experience isn’t always easy. I did think the shift to Hermione’s point of view was a little abrupt, as the story had been in Ron’s perspective up until that point. Perhaps it might have been better to use a paragraph break to show the change in viewpoint, for clarity’s sake. However, on the whole, I thought the narrative flowed smoothly, particularly the flashback.

When I first read this story, I’ll admit I did pause at the idea of Ron and Hermione only discussing what happened in Malfoy Manor several years after the fact. But when I thought about it, it makes sense, because being tortured isn’t exactly easy to talk about, and the events of Malfoy Manor happened so quickly, so I'm guessing they never really got the chance to sit down and talk about it properly. And I also got the impression that perhaps the two of them had some communication problems as a result not just of Malfoy Manor but also the Battle of Hogwarts, Fred’s death and so on. I could see how that affected both of them in this story. I’m glad you included such imperfections in their relationship, because that is what made this all the more real and believable to read.

Overall, Nadia, I really enjoyed this story. It was a fabulous character study of Ron, while also showing a fresh take of Romione as a pairing. And as I've been out of the HP loop for a while, this was a great story to get me back into it. Good job, and keep it up!

Soraya xxx

FLAILSQUEEYUMCRYYYY

So I think this will be an entirely flaily review that is written in a stream of consciousness. Fair warning, lol.

Awwwww cute James/Lily is always cute. And I love how you manage to capture that ever-familiar feeling of dread because of the war -- Marauder Era is so your thing! You really should write it more often. I feel you really caught the mood in a realistic manner for people of their age, only just leaving school. And it makes me so sad to see Lily and James hoped to have children, plural, but were never able to have more than one :( On another note, it was lovely to see that whole thing of being scared of adulthood -- I so get what they mean. Because me... seventeen... just no, ha.

AND DOUBLE AWWWWWW. So Remus and Sirius are already together? Yayyyy. I love Sirius. He is adorable, especially when he’s blushing lol. And James’s “Oh” is perfect. Just perfect. And Sirius -- squeeeee! “I want to live with this one” -- like I said, perfection :D

Yussssss to Lily helping get Sirius and Remus together in the end :D I always thought she would have something to do with it. And awww it was like Sirius proposed to Remus, in a way, haha.

EEEEEP how terse! Oh, you have really got me emotional now with that situation *just* before James and Lily’s deaths. And I so get why Sirius would suspect Remus during such a difficult time, too. That ending “Love you” is wonderfully placed, as well :D and so so heartbreaking.

I want to hug Remus so much when seeing him in so much pain emotionally. As well as other things, but I won’t go into that here, lol.

That final scene -- I LOVE the nostalgia of them as former lovers and all those years not seeing each other and that mutual decision to try again. That last line in particular just broke my heart, though: "I'm going to spend the rest of my life making up for lost time." CRYYYYYYYY!

Overall, Jamie, you should be well aware of how amazing you are and how much this means to me. THANK YOU SO MUCH and I heart you lots!

Soraya xxx

Jessssssssssss!

Let me begin with apologies. The stupid archives ate my review ages ago, and I’ve been meaning to review this pile of utter gorgeousness for weeks now, but school has been so busy D: that I haven’t had time. Sorry! And I was going to review it for SPEW, but then I remembered how fabulous it was and realised I would collapse into a wibbling heap of flailiness, so to make sure I’m not kicked out of SPEW, lol, prepare for another terrible stream-of-consciousness review, only, well, three weeks late?

Now, I don’t know the song, but I am listening to it now, and... hmmmm. Interesting! I think I like this one more than the other one you and Lily recced to me a while back.

And awwwwwww poor Sirius! D: I feel so sorry for him, being stuck in that prison cell for so long. And I totally get why he would suspect Remus of being the traitor -- I think you conveyed the paranoia of that time period so well, and the guilt that Sirius feels just breaks my heart. Aaaahhhh.

Also, this line:

I put my trust in a rat rather than the person who set my blood on fire with a glance or a mere sigh.

*FLAILLLLLLLLLLLL* I looove that. Fabulously put, my dear Jess. I may or may not be nominating that for the quotations thing :)

And then he’s off! Ugh I wish Sirius had killed Peter. And then he and Remus could’ve lived happily ever after and neither of them would have died :( :( :(

What makes me so sad is that Sirius and Remus don't have a chance in the end. But at the same time, I can see why that happened, with their romance having burned out when they were young. The way you have it, it’s so heartbreaking but also realistic.

AND THEN HE DIEEEEES NOOOOOO! :( Ha, I knew that would happen, obviously, but it still makes me weep every time I read it in fanfic. Also, I love that you continued the story into the afterlife -- I find that stuff so interesting. :D

Awww, I love the whole section of Remus/Tonks. This bit in particular:

She can fix him. I’m more certain about this than anything, either in life or death. I know this because of the way she holds him: not like he will break at any moment, but reverently, as if he were the most precious thing in the world.

was beautiful, and I love how you didn't undermine the canon pairing, but if anything, you beautified it. and I squeed when I read “colourful baby boy” because that just sounds so cute.

OOOOOH THE BATTLE. That was written so well, Jess! And then Remus dies :( OH but then they kiss and James and Lily are there, lololol. :D It reminds me a bit of Sophie’s fic (the one she wrote for my birthday), actually -- and I think, for someone who says Marauders aren’t her strong suit, this story proves otherwise, because your characterisation of James and Lily and Sirius is fabulous.

Yayayayayayayay a serious/Sirius joke xD I do love those things. And I love how this ended so happily, too.

All in all, if you don't know that you are amazing and fabulous and a bloody brilliant writer... well, you do now. :D THANK YOUUUU for writing such a gorgeous story for me -- it means so much. Know that I heart you lots and fangirl you even more.

Hello!

Having thoroughly enjoyed modding your chaptered Romione story, Seven Simple Years, I thought it was about time I visited your author page, and I am so glad I did, because this story was so powerful and well-written. It’s a shame it only has two reviews, really, because it certainly deserves more than that. You write angst beautifully, and there’s a real honesty and lyricism to your writing style that shone in this story.

As the central character of the story, I think you nailed Ron here during two moments in his life when I’m sure he felt the worst. The first, when he left Harry and Hermione in the tent, was so emotionally explosive: the guilt, desperation and the voices of doubt inside his head were all done very well. I could see how deeply Ron regretted doubting Harry and ignoring Hermione, especially when he was crying, something I can barely remember him doing in canon and yet something that fitted in perfectly in that moment. And the second, after they returned from Malfoy Manor, was also packed with emotion, but I could see the difference between the two sections -- there was far more hope in the latter section, and I think you showed Ron’s transformation perfectly. He was still scared, yes, but that fear was for Hermione, and there was no guilt this time, and the change in Ron’s character was so subtle and yet so effective.

When I read your author’s notes, I was a little unsure, I’ll admit, about the plot, mostly because I’ve never read a Ron fic where he contemplates suicide. I wasn’t sure how in character it would be, but I needn’t have doubted, because I think you did a fabulous job of exploring Ron’s emotions and yet always retaining his characterisation. The backdrop of the war is never forgotten in this fic; I like how it’s not just the thought of Hermione, or Harry, that stops Ron from killing himself; it’s more about Ron himself and what he meant to his family, too particularly in this line: “People cared about him. People missed him. Above all, he knew he could be better than what he was currently. He may be beaten, lost and barely recognisable now, but the real him and the person he could be, were still there somewhere.” I felt like I really identified with Ron there, and I understood why he was thinking about suicide, because he doubted his own loyalty so much. But I also understood why he stopped himself: for his own self-worth and for the people he loved. I thought you dealt with what is a very sensitive subject with due respect, in that it was realistically handled, justified and never glorified, which is what I think is of utmost importance with D/A fics.

Even though the story wasn’t particularly plotty, I was engrossed from beginning to end because of your style, which was poetic with some great turns of phrase. The one that stayed with me the longest was “The sibilance could have been from a hot iron, branding words like 'failure' and 'traitor' into his skin where they belonged”, because again, I sympathised so much with Ron in that moment. I did think, at times, that the use of “thirty hours” was a little too repetitive, even if it is the title. The symmetry of it is good, and I liked how this motif in the story linked the two scenes together, but perhaps it would have been more effective if it was used slightly more sparingly (so instead of using the phrase in the first three paragraphs, it might have been more effective if the phrase was only repeated in one paragraph). However, this is quite a minor point, and in no way did it hinder my enjoyment of the story, especially as the simplicity and lyricism of your writing style is what brought the story alive.

In terms of structure, I thought the length was perfect for a concise, well-told story, and the full-circle elements -- the fact that he was at the cliff during both sections -- really helped in proving what a u-turn Ron as a character had made. And while I generally like stories with dialogue in it, I barely noticed the lack of dialogue in this story, because it read almost like Ron’s internal monologue. The fact that it was all narrative intensified the tension of Ron’s situation as well as highlighted the fact that Ron was alone, at least in the first part. The absence of speech also made the story so much more introspective, which worked really well in exploring Ron’s emotions. Hermione’s two sole words of speech, therefore, were so full of optimism and hope, and I liked that you retained that introspective feel of the story by italicising speech instead of using speech marks.

Above all, I thought both sections were great missing moments in really showing what Ron felt, because that was one side of the story that I didn’t really see so much in DH. I enjoyed reading it especially because of the new material you brought in, rather than just rehashing what we already know in canon; the missing moment was brought alive and the story carried forward by your lovely writing style and, ultimately, your excellent characterisation.

Keep up the good work, and I hope to read more from you soon!





Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for reading, reviewing and modding SSY as well - it is all very much appreciated :) Ron crying is always a hard thing to put into a story because he only cries about three times in canon, but I'm really glad that you think it worked here. I was trying to show how much he had changed, as well as that although they were stood in the same place, Ron and Hermione felt very different things. The first moment is definitely the low point in the books for Ron and I think I just took that idea and ran with it. Despite all this though, he still a strong person so I felt it was important to have him not go through with it for himself. I was really worried about that line about the branding so it's nice to hear that it worked. This whole story started because I wanted to write something without dialogue actually. I thought those two words being italicised would be cheating! Anyway, thank you so much for this detailed review :)

OOOOOOOOOOH, the plot thickens! :D This is a great chapter, Gina. I think you did well in creating chemistry between Alice and Frank, and you've done a fabulous job of having a pretty tense atmosphere in the Auror Office. And the inclusion of John Lupin is just so intriguing -- this story reads like a crime book, to me, and that's my favouritest genre to read, so yay to that.

Also, Frank is so endearing as a character -- I love how serious he is and how Alice has managed to loosen him up at least a little. I can see why he would be uptight, with a mother like Augusta, lol. I am loving Alice's characterisation, too: she's feisty and pretty damn badass.

Off to chapter three (yes, I will probably finish reading what's up today... I'm just too engrossed right now to stop!)

Author's Response: Thank youuuu! I did think, just a bit, that if I played it right, this could have gone into the mystery category, which I've never done, but in the end it's more about them than what's going on around them. I'm glad you like the characterization. They really came to life for me, which was good because I live with the Marauders in my head so often, lol. Thanks again!! ~Gina :)

OMG!

Wowowowow, Gina, that was intense! :D You write action so well, and I think you fleshed out the Death Eaters really well too. I guess Alice probably thought she cocked that up, but I'm glad Frank thought she was good in the field. Yay to that :)

I have to say, reading about them being undercover was rather lulzy, even though that cover was quickly blown. Like I said, I think this has a great cop show feel to it, somehow, and I love it :D

AND THEN OMG THE ENDING OF THIS CHAPTER. What happened to John? DDDD: I neeeeed the next chapter. Update soon, and know you are amazing ;)

Soraya xxx

Author's Response: This was such fun to write! Yes, it does have that cop show/spy caper feel to it, hee hee. But then the end - dun dun dun! I love cliffhangers. So glad for your reaction. ;) Thank you for the compliment. I'm not all that but I'm so glad you are enjoying the story! Thanks!! ~Gina :)