My brother and I used to swing our little cousin like that. I miss that age sometimes (most often when I'm stuck behind a mountain of homework).
I like the irony that they both seem to want each other back, yet both possess the slight hesitance that prevents either of them from doing anything. And I can't wait to see Lily confront Dick. What a jerk.

Author's Response: That age is definitely appealing at times! Thanks for the review :)

I really liked this chapter. I thought it showed Annie and Lily's relationship really well, and I liked seeing them work on something in a way only thirteen-year-old girls would.

And I was referencing Daisy with the diluted love potion. Though I still got that it was a potion. Seeing as its a Ministry-banned potion of questionable origin that's actually being used, I'm trying not to feel too bad about not being able to pinpoint exactly what it is/what it does.

Author's Response: Thanks! I liked writing this chapter a lot, so I'm glad you liked it :) No, I don't think many people could have guessed it!

Another good chapter. I liked Harry's move with the Pensieve. Classy, and effective.

As much as I love these kids, I kinda feel like their ages don't match very well to their personalities. An 11-year-old trying to punch a grown man?

Author's Response: Thanks! They do sometimes act older than they should, don't they? In my mind that makes sense because they way in which they've grown up makes them older than they ought to be, if that makes any sense.

Despite the sadness at Ginny's death (if my username didn't give it away, I was always hoping for a long and happy life for the two of them), I thought it was a really powerful and well-written story. The scene by the tree was great, and the description you put into the delivery scene was just the right amount. You really gave the reader the ability to picture the scene, or at least, to picture the parts of the scene that were important to picture.

I liked the idea, but this "missing moment" doesn't seem to fit quite so well with its book context. It's very fluffy, where the sixth book is fairly dark.
Also, the dialogue was kind of choppy and simple. It didn't flow very well. But I thought the descriptive language was well done.

I decided to save my review for after both chapters, since you said this was supposed to be just one long one-shot.
I thought you did a great job of ensuring the finality of Lily's break from Severus. And though I never thought about it before, I like the idea that Snape knew the spell to heal Draco because Lily used it to heal Snape's own misuse of the Sectumsempra spell.

Author's Response: Thanks! There are some things about this I would change now, looking back, but I guess that's how writing goes :) I'm glad you liked it and enjoyed that bit about how Severus knows the healing spell. I assume he wouldn't have thought of it when he was thinking about the spell itself.

So, I've now read through half of the chapters here at MNFF. I plan on reading through the story at livejournal, but I figured I'd not wait until the very end to comment.
I'd like to start by saying that many of your ideas have been quite intriguing. I like the general direction of the story, and there have been some very good moments. However, I think your writing style is very amateurish. You have frequent mistakes with grammar and spelling (sometimes with very basic elements), your dialogue is rudimentary at best, you sometimes switch between POVs without much of a distinct plan, and you're prone to allowing your characters vast swings in emotion even within a single paragraph. I know this probably sounds harsh, but I'm trying to give honest criticism. I think there is a lot of potential in this story, but your writing is a little...immature...and could do with some revision.

"Secretiveness"? Really? It's "secrecy." Please, please have your future chapters get better. I tried reading this story once before and had to stop because I couldn't take the bad grammar. Again, I'll try to temper this by pointing out that your overall plot and much of your character development is quite good, but your understanding of basic mechanics and ability to portray emotions are woefully underdeveloped.

Spelling is something that should never be a concern, what with the ready availability of SpellCheck. Yet you manage to misspell at least a few words in every chapter. On top of that, your grammar is still (at times) atrocious. You flip-flop between ideas and seem to put down whatever might sound good at the time, without bothering to think about its implications to the story as a whole.
I've found multiple examples over the last 48 chapters of instances where you contradict something you've written earlier. One such example stuck in my head for some reason. You said in one of the more recent chapters that, when Gaunt smiled, Harry noted that it was the first time he'd seen anything but a scowl on the man's face. And yet you specifically wrote an instance early on in the story where Gaunt smiled...at Harry...when they were first introduced.
You overuse hyperbole, and you still can't seem to grasp how a normal human being expresses emotion, that it is nigh impossible to go from one extreme emotion to the other at the drop of a hat. Nothing is ever really that cut and dry. You also have a nasty habit of using run-on sentences, especially when misuse of commas is involved. I'll admit, comma rules are some of the most nuance-filled in the world of English grammar, but your mistakes are too frequent to blame on the natural difficulty of the language.
As I've done before, I would like to temper this (slightly) by noting that I do like the general direction of the story. Though this most recent turn of events seems a little contrite, I think you've done an adequate job of portraying this post-Battle version of the world Jo so lovingly created, the world we all know and love. But I'll also repeat myself by saying that it is difficult to appreciate the content, the actual story, while dealing with the incredible distraction of poor mechanics and dynamics.

Very fluffy, but kinda cute. I can definitely see why this was rated 1st-2nd Years.