Ariana, I was nearly in tears at the end of this chapter. This was just beautifully written.

I loved this line It occurred to him that he was becoming more and more like an older brother to Will, and he’d never been good at being the older one. It's a lovely line which really shows Dennis' character, and how much of him is connected to being the younger brother of Colin. It was also a lovely connection to the idea of brotherhood which is central to this story.

I loved the flashback scene and the way it showed how Colin takes the lead. I tend to still think of him as how he was in his first year, and I loved you showing him as having matured and being the leader. I think in some ways Colin is quite like Harry and Neville, in that he has something to prove and has to find his bravery, but when does, he has it in spades. If he had gone to Hogwarts, I'm sure he would have been there with Neville and Ginny right from the beginning.

Anyway, I digress. I loved how Colin sprung it on Dennis that they were leaving and didn't tell him that they wouldn't be together until the end, because Dennis would have argued and tried to convince him otherwise if he head.

No one understands that.” Not even Colin. I loved this line, because it sets up an experience that for once Dennis and Colin can't share.

and he was nothing more than an empty shell of the person he had once been. I think this would sound more effective if it were "and he was nothing more than an empty shell of a person".

Otherwise this was a lovely beginning.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Thank you so much for leaving a review! I'm happy you liked the chapter--I think this one is probably my favorite. I'm also glad you thought the dynamics of Colin and Dennis's relationship were well-done. I didn't want to write Colin as the boy he was in book two, because he's only eleven then and of course he's going to change. Your review was so wonderful to read, I didn't know more people were actually reading this story. I really appreciate all your comments, both compliments and crit :). xx Ariana

This chapter nearly had me in tears again.

He never knew living could hurt this much. I really loved this line. It summed up exactly how Dennis was feeling, and I like the fact that you didn't say "maybe life wasn't worth living" or something like that, because that's done so often and I think what you wrote is probably more realistic.

There are some wonderful details in this story. Colin had always wanted a scar like Harry’s, a mark that he had done something to make the world a better place. I was so glad you included that - it just adds so much to Colin's character and, as I said in my first review, I do see a connection between Colin and Harry. I think Colin would have died to save the wizarding world with as little hesitation as Harry.

It felt as though a part of him was being buried too, as though he could never quite be whole without Colin. I loved this line, too. It's a little cliched, but it worked really well in your story because you had already established how much of Dennis' identity was formed by being Colin's brother in the first chapter.

“Everyone needed a reason to fight, Dennis. And you were Colin’s.” What a beautiful way to finish the story. It connects so wonderfully with the title and the end of the previous chapter.

Sometimes Henry's dialogue didn't quite flow to me or seem quite realistic... particularly the line The three of us tried to do our part for the war together, and we did well most of the time. I can't quite put my finger on what doesn't seem right, sorry, but it just didn't seem quite realistic.

Also, why would Dennis never see Will again? Presumably they would both be at Hogwarts together. The only reason I can think of is that Will's parents would want to keep him away from magic after the pain it caused him, but if that's the case, I think it would be better if you explained that.

Anyway, this is a fantastic story and you've really managed to get an emotional response from the reader and you've portrayed the characters so well.

~Katrina

Author's Response: It means so much that you've reviewed all chapters of this story. I'm so happy you liked the details of this. I was worried that the epilogue wasn't good enough to submit as part of this story, because I wrote it some time after I had already finished the other two. I'll have a look at Henry's dialogue, it might be a bit too formal for him. Regarding Dennis and Will…he might *see* him again, literally, but he realizes that they're going to lose the brotherhood bond they shared. Will isn't going to be a second-year, since he didn't even do one year of schooling, so he'll be six years behind Dennis. They won't be in the same House, because sadly Will is more of a Claw (well, not sadly, Ravenclaw is a wonderful House). He'll make new friends, because in the end what they shared was their being hidden when they both wished so desperately otherwise. The don't have a 'friendship', per se, more of a brotherhood, so in a way Dennis has lost two brothers. Sorry for that long, complicated, and probably incomprehensible response :). As always, thank you so so much for your lovely review! xx Ariana

Hi Carole,

This was a lovely fic. I was a little surprised initially, because I know Remus and Tonks are your favourite characters and you write excellent Remus/Tonks stories.

Having said that, I really enjoyed this story, and it doesn't necessarily negate Remus/Tonks, because at this stage she hadn't met him yet.

I loved the title and the ending, because somehow that idea made this more original and less cliched. It made me smile, too.

I loved the flashback scenes, they really showed the friendship that these two have and how comfortable they are with each other. I thought it was a nice touch that she didn't call him Charlie once, and yet he called her Nymphadora, although in the narrative he always refers to her as Tonks.

One thing though - do you think their housemates would really scorn them for having friends in other houses? I mean, I think Gryffindors would if you were friends with a Slytherin, but because it's a Gryffindor and a Hufflepuff... I mean, their housemates would be surprised, but scorn just didn't seem right to me.

Anyway. Excellent writing - of course. I don't think I've read anything bad written by you. Or anything that wasn't very good.

And I'm rambling here now too...

Happy Easter!

~Katrina

Author's Response: Thank you. I do write a bit of Charlie/Tonks in my chaptered fic Apparently Asleep because I see him as the forerunner to Remus. They were the same school year so I like to imagine that they're friends. You could be righr about the word 'scorn', it is a bit harsh although I tempered it with 'faint'. I will think about something else, but I do think there's a lot of condescension towards the Hufflepuffs, ao Charlie forming such a strong friendship with one would have been noted with surprise. After the Battle of Hogwarts, of course, things would have been very different. Ernie was such a hero - :-). Thank you very much for the review, Katrina.

Hi,

I think this is a really different and original story, and I enjoyed it. You portrayed Lee so well, you gave him a very believable personality which complied with everything we see of him in the books. I like the distinction you've made between him and other journalists, particularly (Rita) Skeeter, because I think Lee is the kind of journalist who looks for truth, not what will make the best article or interview. I think you're right too that Harry would only give an interview to Lee, and not til many years after the Battle, for that very reason. Because Harry knows that he won't have a repeat of Rita I'll-publish-whatever-makes-me-sound-good Skeeter. Anyway. Getting a bit off topic here...

I liked the fragments and how they showed the progression of his career and how much the public enjoyed him. I really loved the last few sentences, they just encapsulated the whole story so well.

There were a few times when you're writing didn't seem to flow that well.

The war was still painful to him, even after all this time. Out of all the people who had been at Hogwarts that night, Lee had probably lost the least. The only loss he had suffered was the loss of Fred Weasley. Fred had been one of his best friends, but not family. Lee had known some of the others, but he hadn’t been as deeply affected as some. But it still hurt. It still burned in his memory. I really liked the idea in this paragraph, and the last two sentences were great, but it just seemed a little wordy and... I'm not quite sure how to explain this, but it just didn't sound as good as it could have, in my opinion.

Also, you've missed closing the quotation marks at the end of the second part. And would Kingsley know Lee by name at the beginning, if Lee had only been at WZRD for two weeks? Just a thought.

Anyway, I hope you haven't found this review negative, because I really did enjoy story. It was different and refreshing.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Thank you for your review! I'm glad you enjoyed the story. The part about the war was awkward for me, but I couldn't think of how else to say it. And I think that Lee's thoughts on the war would be a little disorganized. Of course Kingsley knew Lee. They were on Potterwatch together. I appreciate all criticism, good or bad. Thank you for reading. Julie

This was lovely, Carole. I'd never thought about the significance of Easter for Remus - that was really clever.

I loved the scene at the beginning, and how well you showed all the Marauders and Lily. In that space you really showed their characters and how they interact.

I wonder if you're a bit harsh on James and Sirius here - James and Sirius had very fleeting interest in things that didn’t concern them. I think you're probably right that they wouldn't remember his 'puzzle' or try to work it out, but saying that they didn't care about things that didn't concern them just sounds a bit too selfish. I think it's more that they tend to look to the immediate future, and they couldn't find an immediate solution to the puzzle, so they forgot about it. Anyway, I'm getting off track here, that's just a small thing.

I loved the scene with Tonks. The dialogue you gave her was just so realistic for her giving birth... it made me smile, but it was also very realistic. I loved how you included Remus' fears about his son being a werewolf, and that Tonks figured out why Easter was important to her husband. It shows their closeness and how well they know each other.

Lovely story.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review and I'm glad you enjoyed the story. I probably was a little harsh on James and Sirius but it was more that they were teenage boys and both rather big-headed at the time and I get the feeling that if something doesn't come easily to them, the they tend to dismiss it. They obviously matured, but here they're both only 14 (and 14 year old boys can be annoying). Glad you thought the childbirth scene realistic., I've had three kids, so I would hope I could write that -LOL. Thanks again for the review - Carole~

This is just beautiful... beautiful and tragic. The contrast between the two sections is so well done. It was almost painful reading the first part, because I knew what was going to happen to Alice.

Maybe, this kiss marks the beginning of our release. Maybe, there is nothing more to fear now. Maybe, this kiss is the affirmation of a future that is filled with normalcy and free from the insanity of the past few years. I loved this bit. Your word choice ("normalcy", "future", "insanity") was great... it was heart-breaking. Although the commas after maybe interrupted the flow for me a bit.

And the second part. Wow. I'm always impressed by people who can write from the perspective of a mad person, because even though it may seem illogical and random, there's usually some link or part of logic through it. (If that makes sense.) And you just nailed it. I can't say anything more than that it was haunting and beautiful and tragic and just so well-written... I think this is one of my favourites of your stories, which are all fantastic, so that's saying something.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Katrina!

This brought tears to my eyes, Carole. Generally I'm not a huge poetry fan and I don't have a lot to say about rhyme/rhythm... but this was just really beautiful. The whole thing just flowed so well and you can really capture emotions in so few words.

I think my favourite line was "She still weeps". It just really shows the unending grief that continues despite life going on. Having said that, I could quote the whole poem back and say they were all my favourite lines.

Just a really fabulous poem.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Thank you very much. I don;t know much about poetry either - certainly not all the different forms, but sometimes like experimenting with using fewer words to tell a story or express an emotion. I don;t think Molly and Arthur would ever have fully recovered from Fred'd death. *sigh* ~Carole~

Lovely writing, Jess. It was simply too much for Lily to process at the moment. Halted just on the perimeter of the gathering, she choked back a sob or two before she didn’t have it in her to fight it anymore. She missed Teddy. She wanted him to come back to mourn his gran like they all should’ve been doing. She didn’t want to be mourned by hollow men with even more hollow respect for her life and experiences. That just really summed up this story for me, and you wrote that hollow feeling so well throughout the fic.

It was so sad that the most important thing to people was keeping up appearances. You wrote this so well in all the interactions between the characters. The scene between Harry and Lily was wonderfully written.

I think I'm probably always going to disagree with you about Harry and Ginny... the way you write them isn't how I envision them, but at the same time, I can see how your creations come from canon. So they're not OC, just different. It connected very well to "All The Time in the World" (although it's a fair while since I read that, so I don't remember it really well). I hope this paragraph makes sense...

Anyway. Wonderfully written and wonderfully characterised, Jess.

~Katrina

Author's Response:

I suppose my goal in writing this was to show that little part of all of us who think of ourselves more than we think about others. I theorise that part of Lily's breakdown was that she saw she was doing just that very thing and it disgusted her. No one wants to think that they're selfish and inconsiderate.

The interaction with Scorpius is actually bit hard to explain in the story. I am hoping that my intention was clear and that he and Lily were experiencing the same sense of surreal detachment to the funereal process and hoping that their own passings were not so nondescript and unmarked. It would be just plain depressing, which was why he was so inattentive in slamming into Lily. He was so deep in thought about certain things that trifles like looking where he was going and/or apologising for mowing someone over didn't really occur to him. And then what happened after that was basically a genetic takeover with Lily getting him back and then their subsequent pissing contest outside. Of course, I try to add these sorts of subtleties into stories with the faint glimmer that someone might notice or not mind listening to me ramble about it in reviews. You're really lovely about listening to my rambles. :D

Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed the story and connected with the themes I wanted to put across. You are so lovely a reviewer. And I'll keep telling you that until the cows come home.

~Jess

Hi Jess,

As you know, I'm not a huge poetry fan, but this looked interesting and I knew it would be good as it was written by you, so I clicked. (I also wrote a story just a few weeks ago with the same title... but getting off track here.)

You captured Hermione so wonderfully here. Of course she would have thought about leaving or wanted to leave at certain times, and yet the last line is so perfect, too, because for that reason she never would have. (If that makes sense.)

You created the setting of the tent and both Hermione and Harry's moods in so few words and so well.

Great poem,

~Katrina

Author's Response:

You know, I don't know if I ever could've written an entire fic about Hermione angsting over whether to leave Harry like Ron had, but poetry was the perfect medium for it.  As you noticed, it's a very emotional decision, and emotions lend themselves so well to poetry that I couldn't have picked anything else more perfect to display her internal struggle.

I know you don't consider yourself a poetry aficionado (truth be told, I'm the furthest thing from that myself), but you do well in the way you pick up themes and feelings. Hopefully the poets of MNFF can increase your enjoyment of this particular genre. :)

Thanks for reading and reviewing as always!

~Jess

I've loved this whole story, Alex. I'm glad you included the Epilogue, because things wrapped up very quickly at the end of the last chapter and the Epilogue was so well-written and such a wonderful read.

I had been suspecting Regulus since chapter 3. You just did such a wonderful job of characterising him - I liked how you showed his disgust but how he managed to make everything sort of academic and not think about it. As I said before, the Epilogue was so well-written, you captured his character - something of a tortured soul - so well. I don't really know how to describe it.

Bellatrix was also wonderfully written. I could really see her as the Bellatrix of Thin Red Lines as well. Rodolphus' reaction to her was the most vivid image, I think, but throughout she was chillingly cold and emotionless and manipulative.

I wasn't quite sure why the Marauders (assuming that the wolf, dog and stag were them) appeared in the story - I mean, I know Remus killed the fox, which helped develop Gloria's character and showed what happened then, but it just seemed a little... random to me.

I don't think Gloria is morbid or gruesome - I see her more as very honest and simultaneously aware of the lies and deceit which surround her, and not quite sure what to make of it so she retreats to nature, which she understands. Well, that's how I see her anyway (I hope it's at least partly in line with what you meant).

Humans always had a choice, no matter how horrific it seemed. I loved that line, because it connected this story really well to canon and it shows that Regulus understands what Voldemort never did.

Nothing could ever be proven. This is a fantastic way to end a mystery, because it's usually the kind of story which promises justice and a solution.

I liked Florence's characterisation in this - it linked really well to that one-shot you wrote about her (sorry, can't remember the name) and you wrote her desperation so well.

I did like the ending, and I'm glad you changed it so it wasn't AU, partially because I prefer canon-compliant, and partially because what you have written just works so well.

Another excellent story, Alex.

~Katrina

Author's Response: I'm really glad you liked it :) It's lovely that you read so much of my stuff- it makes me feel really happy that you think it's good enough to read more of, and not just one story. I'm also really pleased you thought the Epilogue was good- I really enjoyed writing it, though the genius of the idea has to go to Soraya.

I'm also pleased that you had your suspicions but still enjoyed it. If I guess whodunnit then I normally get annoyed with the author for not being cleverer than me- :)

The Marauders- I hadn't intended on having them. And they were a bit random but, honestly, I couldn't resist the possibility of including them. I had the image of the fox first and then realised I could have Remus responsible for it. I have tried and failed at writing the Marauders well so this seemed my only opportunity to write about them.

You've got Gloria perfectly––nature is black and white, whereas our lives aren't and growing up scares and excites her (as it does most people I think) but she retreats more than most. I think Viv says something similar about nature in ADP.

I found ending this story really difficult, so it's nice you liked that ending. I do find murder mysteries where everything is tied up neatly really irritating. Crimes in RL are more jagged then that so I don't see why in TV it should be any different. And, despite some minor canon errors in nearly every story, I am ideally a canon girl too. Anyway thank you so much for the lovely review-I'm really happy that you enjoyed it. Alex