This was beautifully written - somewhere between poetry and prose with a touch of post-modernism. I liked how you created Andromeda's character and didn't go into explanations of how betrayed she felt by her family, but just showed it through her actions.

I liked the way that in a way she should feel happy, but she doesn't really. The scene where she and Ted have moved into a flat, as there's so much happiness there (the peace of her garden, the cat called Fluffy), but still a letter from Narcissa can mar it.

Anyway, you've already got a series of long reviews and I pretty much agree with all of them, so I'll leave it here. Great fic!!!

I just had to review this because you quoted AVPM at the beginning... well actually that's not the only reason, this is a great story.

You show the context of this story well - as far as I can figure out from the family tree, it's the early/mid 1930's, but you show the way the Purebloods are trying to hang onto something which is really going out of fashion here... if that makes sense. As in, their balls are as formal as what you'd expect in a Jane Austen novel, not something set just before the beginning of World War 2. Which I think is very realistic, because even in canon the Purebloods try to hang on to their old-fashioned society.

Cedrella is an interesting heroine - I wonder what her thoughts are on muggleborns. Because you've shown here that the whole idea of marriage and Pureblood society repels her, but I'm looking forward to seeing her reaction to muggleborns at Hogwarts.

And Charis is very sweet and lovely, but I have this feeling she's going to turn into a trophy wife for some rich Pureblood (Caspar Crouch actually). Their relationship is a little how I imagine Sirius and Regulus to be, though obviously their personalities are very different.

Anyway. That was a bit off topic. Great start for a story :).

~Katrina

Why does this only have four reviews??? Like pretty much everything of yours I've read so far, Natalie, this is amazing. I think you did a great job of Merope's characterisation, but I really loved where you went with Tom. The way he was sometimes cruel and very arrogant and how we got to see that it's not only his looks which his son inherited from him.

I loved the idea of Merope hating green and the way that carried throughout the story. I also though the way you fragmented it was great, and in each fragment we saw a gradual change.

One last thing - I loved how you connected her with Tom the barman - especially as in the books, Tom (junior) dislikes the fact that he has such a common name... it was just a really great way of tying everything in together.

~Katrina

Author's Response: First thing, thank you for catching that error in my other fic A Tale of Six Perspectives. Forgot to mention it in my response. >.>

Hi Natalie!

I absolutely loved this fic... the summary was fantastic and it made me really interested straightaway in how all the characters would respond. Even just in that beginning bit, you did a great job of exploring their characters and showing the differences between them. It was also interesting, as all 6 of these characters are very clearly linked to death in the books.

Just a small nitpick – at the beginning when everyone’s at lunch in the Great Hall, you’ve written: “I thought she was going to-” croaked Peter.

“Yeah,” said Sirius. “I too.”. What Sirius says should be either “me too” or “I did too”.

Anyway. James’ part. Fantastic characterisation and you can really see elements of Harry in his ‘never-give-up’ attitude and the way he blames himself for other people’s misfortunes. I think for James this is a real moment of finding out what he’s made of, and of realising what he wants to do with his life. It links well to the fact that he joined the OoTP later on. He would try, and that was it. - this really summed his part up for me, and again I think it links to his decision later, because there was no guarantee of success or even of helping anyone at all, but all they could do was try.

Severus – once again, amazing characterisation. I think his part is possibly my favourite in this fic. I loved the idea that he and Evan and the others were struggling to get an audience with Voldemort... somehow it made them all just a little more human. Severus’ attitude towards the others was also great – condescending and believing that he knows better than them. I think this is ironic, because presumably he joined that group to want to feel accepted. His resolution at the end is frightening, especially considering he is only 16 at this point, but also very IC.

Sirius – I liked how you made him want to have all his friends together, as it shows how much he relies on them due to his lack of family. I smiled at his comments on Armis – how he didn’t dislike her because she gave him a laugh. he’d love to be… laughing merrily at death’s ugly face.

Yes, that was how he pictured it. Laughing. Full of life. Like a paradox. - that is sooooo Sirius and really perfect to finish his part off with.

Peter – I thought you painted an interesting Peter and honestly would have liked to have seen a bit more of him. I liked how you expressed that thinking about someone else dying really only threatened him because it made him face that one day he, too, would die, and this terrified him. It really sets up what becomes of him later.

Lily – how did you come up with the idea of linking what we see of her on the swing through Snape’s memory to a near death experience and her first encounter with magic? Brilliant!! I also loved her need to die for a purpose, which is of course what she does in the end. I liked the comparison of her character as a child and a teenager verging on adulthood as well – there was something reckless about her as a child which seems to come out in Harry as well.

Remus – I think this one was perhaps a little short as well or something... I loved his revelation at the end, about the value of life, and I think that nicely tied up the whole story, but somehow I think perhaps your Remus wasn’t as original as I felt the other characters were or something. I don’t know, he was still really good though.

So all in all... great fic... sorry for the long rambling review, it ended up being a lot longer than I expected.

~Katrina

Author's Response: I love long and rambling reviews! Especially when they contain detailed analysis and crit. :) You're one hell of a reviewer, and I've reached that point in my fanficcing life when I'm looking forward to hearing from you about everything that I write. Lol!

Firstly, I thought your James was great - ridiculously stubborn and never one to let a team down. It was an interesting choice to not even mention Lily... I liked seeing James in his own right without his obsession with her. The other Marauders were good too, and a little bit of Quidditch always adds something to a story. Good job! :)

Author's Response: That was a personal challenge – writing a James-fic devoid of Lily. I wanted to see how it’d do, but – haha! Not sure if it was a success. ; )

Hi Jess,

So I've been gradually making my way through your author page, and eventually I came across this. I think this was really beautiful and had such a great message. There are so many beautiful lines in this, for example regret is much like a potent spice; a little bit keeps us honest, but too much makes everything taste bitter - that's just so perfectly written and so true. This line - I’d like to say that grief will always be a constant companion of mine, but unlike its first vestiges in my life, I no longer allow it to hold dominion over me, to dictate how I live my life. really summed this fic up so well and so beautifully.

I liked the anonymity of the author - even though I could tell that it was Scorpius writing it, somehow not naming him made it a universal story, something for everyone to identify with. The cantankerous uncle sounded a little like Ron, so I'm not quite sure who Scorpius' wife is then - perhaps Lily or Dominique? Anyway, it's not particularly importnat I don't think, for the reason I've just stated.

So, a beautifully written fic with great characterisation and an interesting and important message. Good job :).

~Katrina

Author's Response:

I've been of two minds about this story. The challenge for which it was written really didn't call for this type of letter/narrative, so this was my... third(?) go round with it. Originally, there was far more story and less of the 'article', which gave far more background into the story, but it was after this (finally validated) version that I gave up and settled on this. I like the message that I tried to instill in it, and you're correct in assuming that the anonymity was meant to make this a universal concept rather than a single-character story. Scorpius just seemed like a prime candidate to lose his father early, since Draco wasn't exactly in the business of making friends for himself.

I'm happy that you like this story and what it was meant to convey. Again, I love your reviews and look forward to your next visit. :D

~Jess

Wow!!! This was such a bittersweet story... especially that last line, I was almost in tears. I loved how the article was personal but always stuck to its form. Andrew was a great character, I loved how much of him we got to see through this and how he shared his own life lessons.

And then of course Florean himself, who was characterised wonderfully. It's a pity we get such a small glimpse of him in canon, and you've created such a lovely story for him, I'm sure JKR would be proud :).

Basically I agree with what everyone else has said on this reviews page... this was an amazing fic (and original too), written beautifully and which leaves you thinking when you're finished about its ideas.

Author's Response: Florean, the ice-cream man. I was so shocked to learn in HBP that the Death eaters had taken him. But then, I came across JKR’s article, and voila! I had a story to tell.

Hi Jess,

Let me begin by saying that in general I dislike non-canon pairings, as I think JKR knows best when it comes to her own characters... so when I saw the summary for this, as well as knowing your love of Harmony, I was a little dubious and thought I'd give it a go.

Having said that, I thought this was a fantastic story and you really made sure that Hermione and Harry remained in character throughout the fic. I think it's interesting that you picked up on that line in DH (I mean "You've been shouting and moaning and... things") and decided to write a whole fic about it. It's actually quite believable, particularly as Harry's delirious and thinks that Hermione is Ginny, as I think it's quite clear in canon that Harry never felt anything for Hermione. But you do raise the question that she perhaps may have had these feelings for him, particularly when Ron had abandoned them.

I think the best moment in this fic was when Harry said "Ginny" - you captured Hermione's feelings so well and it was just heart-breaking... even for someone who doesn't think Harry and Hermione should be together anyway!

Anyway, I hope you can make something coherent out of this rather long review... the point is, well done for making a non Harmony shipper enjoy a Harmony story.

~Katrina

Author's Response:

When it comes to non-canon, I tend to prefer ships that aren't really established as non canon, such as minor character pairings. I don't actually go against canon all that often, actually. What I do enjoy, however, is building pockets of non-canon within the bounds of canon and make someone reassess what they know about established events. Harry will never, ever know what he said and did as he was thrashing around in the tent, snake venom pumping through him. I see that as my cue to make something up to satisfy my ebil desires. :D

I'm glad you enjoy the story, even with its non-canonness. I really thought it was appropriate that Hermione kissed Harry before Ron, since Ron was always so paranoid about them anyway. Muahahahaha!

Another really great "character study"! Ron's part was my favourite - you conveyed his character so well in that excerpt. Albus' part was a close second, you used the little bit shown about him in the Epilogue of DH and created a really believable character.

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad Ron's character came through in his section and you liked it!

I thought you had a really new and different take on Lavender here and it was really interesting. I also liked that you didn't announce who she was at the beginning - it worked better to build your version of her character and then say who it was. I think what made her most endearing to me reading this was that she had done bad things, but she hated herself for it and wanted to change.It really added something to her character. I also loved the present tense (in general I like writing in present tense too) - it made me feel like I was in Lavender's head and going through everything with her.

All the characters were written well and I liked your attention to detail when it came to them (for example how Harry only looks at Ginny lustfully - I thought that was very IC).

I could go on praising this fic... I thought everything about it was believable and well-written, and I liked that it ended kind of sadly but with a bit of hope.

Author's Response:
Thanks for the review.

This story was my first real attempt to push myself. As I’ve (probably) said, writing a story from the perspective of a woman (who is naked for most of the story) on the morning after a one night stand, is a dangerous thing for a bloke to do. Especially as most readers here appear to be female. I was fairly confident that I would not descend into fanboy fantasy, but even so, this was a risk (I’m especially grateful to HestiaJones for her beta input).

As for the ending, well, perhaps you should read my story, Moon, too.

Thanks

N