Name?: Delaney
Age?: 18
Which House are you in?: Ravenclaw. I belong there, but I have Slytherin tendencies. *cough*
Which HP book was your favorite book?: DH. It was different, but still managed to finish the story brilliantly. It delved more into everyone’s characters, and Harry was at his best.
Are you active on the MNFF forums? Yes. I’m a member of SPEW. On hiatus at the moment. I barely have time to check my e-mail anymore...
Have you written for any other site?: Yes. I write for FIA (Fire and Ice Archives; dracoandginny.com) with this penname.
Talk about your stories and series a bit please?
Draco/Ginny chaptered stories:
1. 7 Years
Status: WIP
I would love to continue writing this. I’ve planned and partly written the next few chapters, so we’ll see what happens.
2. A Shadow of Trust
Status: On Hiatus
I really liked this story when I was writing it, and I wish I could keep going with it. I don’t know, though. It’s been a while since I’ve been inspired for this one.
3. Why Do I Love You?
Status: On Permanent Hiatus
Originally, I wrote about ten chapters of this story. If I can get around to editing them, I’ll keep posting to it, because there were people who liked it.
Draco/Ginny one-shots:
1. Suddenly Love
Status: Complete
I have to admit that this story was rushed and incomplete until Periwinkle (Anna) left me a SPEW review for it and Jenna boosted my confidence about it. They helped this story very much, and now I’m actually fond of it.
2. Conceit & Contempt
Status: Complete
I was kind of playing with the notion that Draco and Ginny have a traditional love-hate relationship, like Darcy and Lizzy in Pride and Prejudice. I was honestly just experimenting, so don’t take it too seriously.
I have written a lot more stories that would fit in this category, but they’re not up here. Mostly lj-ed, some just for friends.
James/Lily:
1. Apology of a Completed Soul
Status: Completed one-shot
This is one of my favourite stories of mine. I would describe it as ‘touching,’ but that’s for you to decide.
Others
1. Reformation
Status: Complete, one-shot
I like this one, if only for the coincidence that I seem to have managed to get into Draco’s head before I actually knew him.
2. A Little Fall of Rain
Status: Complete, one-shot
And here I’m in Ginny’s head. Odd. Anyway, this is nice because it’s from someone else’s PoV, and yet features Ginny in a rather vulnerable position, so she’s sharing.
3. Sinful Reunion
Status: Complete, one-shot
This story does have its merits. It uses thevault (Jenna)’s Siobhan, and takes place in Sins-verse, immediately post-chapter 12. It’s an interesting take on Siobhan’s position, I think.
4. Illuminating Indecision
Status: Complete, one-shot
This was for a SPEW swap, and features Blaise’s choice during the war.
5. Regret
Status: Complete, poem
What I like about this poem is (besides the water) that it doesn’t really have to be Ginny, it could be anyone in her position, regretting anything. I heart sestinas.
Any stories coming up? Yes, actually. Over the summer I got really involved in a story that's a kind of exploration of Slytherin cunning, told from the PoV of Blaise Zabini. I really just need the inspiration to post it.
How can anyone contact you? My email address is up there. Contact me that way. Or PM me on the forums. Same username. Email address once again is horsegirllane [at] sbcglobal [dot] net
Oh, and reviews? Excellent stuff. But be serious. Happy reading!
it's great so far! but i had the same question as mermaid...that part didn't make sense. keep up the good work!
Excellent job on the story so far! I can't wait for more! I liked that Selena told Lily she didn't know what she was saying....has Selena already gotten her letter? Food for thought... can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response: Thanks :) Right. There should be a confidentiality among the witches and wizards. All witches should get their letters at the same time. You'll see later on ;) -MM
I love how well you incorporated the reaction of everyone! It was so realistic and perfect! And the bits of the wedding are beautifully reminiscent. I love them. Excellent job, as usual.. and yay for mod-ness! Congratulations, again.
"with the new mods and everything"... I just LOVE them! They're so fast and efficient! hehe... So, another great chappie, and I liked that Lily's parents couldn't see the Cauldron. I would probably have been scared of crazy murderers, too. and I love to reply to reviews! It's so much fun...
Another excellent story, I just don't know how you manage to pull it off in one-shots. It was interesting to see it all from Ginny's PoV. I loved it!
This story is so perfectly canon and beautiful! It's the perfect transition--what COULD happen between now and book seven! It was good that Ginny and Harry got an agreement and one last bit of humor. Amazing job! This is my favorite quote, it's so sad and sweet! "The familiar swooping sensation passed through Harry’s stomach, and he had to remind himself he couldn’t simply reach out and catch her hand.
very well written, and the story is interesting! I love your OC! It's a good idea...Can't wait for more...
I love the very start--the flashback of a day at Grimmauld Place. Your consice descriptions make it very clear what's happening without actually saying it. We talked about this in English awhile ago--showing, not telling. It's a wonderful technique when utilised correctly.
The switch between Remus's and Tonks's PoVs when they first meet and their first reactions to each other make the meeting all the more precious. It's a wonderful way for them to be introduced! I didn't even realise it wasn't specified in Canon.
“Either you dyed your hair, or your mum was right about you being a Metamorphmagus.” Hadn't she known since she was really, really tiny? That must be something Sirius would know.... I think....
and abruptly decided that a woman brave enough to have green hair while chatting with her convicted-murder of a cousin... I believe that should be convicted murderer. But I really love Remus's conclusion here--it's simplifying. He realises that he doesn't have to worry about her being worried. It would be hard to grow accustomed to the new experience, but it would be nice for Remus. I think my unsureness about this ship is waning, definitely!
Poor Sirius and his frustrations with Snape. Remus always was the helpful sort! Tonks listened to Remus’ commentary with interest. Remus's is the correct-est way to put that, as the apostrophe after a name is only for ancient and Biblical characters, like "Odysseus' son Telemachus".
Remus stood next to her, his face a little too straight. What a brilliant way to illustrate his expression! It tells everything all at once and reallly gives the reader a clear view of what's happening. That's my favourite part about the story!
Remus was heard to ask more questions in an hour than he usually did in a month.> This, and the imagery following, are just wonderful diction. It was a great conclusion to an enticing first meeting!
Author's Response: Thank you for the \"showing, not telling\" comment. It\'s something I\'ve really been working on. You\'re probably right about Sirius; I suppose Tonks has probably been doing this since very early childhood, but you could say that she didn\'t start to show it until later, right before Sirius was arrested.
\"Convicted-murder?\" How DO these things get through?? Thank you so much for letting me know -- this kind of mistake bugs the heck out of me. Likewise, thanks for letting me know about \"Remus\'s\" vs. \"Remus\'.\" I\'ll work on that.
You\'re not a fan of this ship? You should be! Let\'s see if I can convert you! *evil grin*
A pinch of glittering green dust took her straight into the kitchen of Grimmauld Place. If this was used in Canon, it must have been obscure because I've never seen it! I love it!
His eyes danced, lighting up his tired face. This is such a sweet little detail. I love how Tonks can just make him happy like that.
I also liked it when Tonks asks Remus about stitches. It shows how much she trusts him to understand her confusion even when she doesn't want to show it in front of everyone else.
And the chess game was an excellent parallel. Most of every strategy each used was a wonderful metaphor to their lives, which they made more clear when Tonks noticed Remus touching a scar.
The body feels natural, but Wolfsbane or no, there’s always a sort of itch at the back of the mind, that something’s just the least bit off. This is an excellent detail, and it makes good sense, too. There should be a wrong-feeling about the werewolf state...
The fire popped, but no one noticed. Wasn't it just Tonks and Remus that wouldn't notice? Maybe you could change it to 'The fire popped, but neither Tonks nor Remus noticed.' Or something like that, just to make it more clear that the rest of the room wasn't contemplative, too.
How precious! Your writing is lovely, and I definitely didn't see anything blatantly un-British. I wasn't particularly watching for it, though.. *is sorry* Anyway, the relationship you've developed between them is marvelous! I can't wait for the next chapter.
Author's Response: Why thank you! I do so love long, thoughtful reviews. I\'ll check, probably change, that bit about the fire. Thanks lots, and I think I can actually say that the next chapter is coming soon! *crosses fingers*
I like that you began the chapter with the werewolves ranting about wizards. The different perspective is interesting and gives the reader a feel for what Remus has to do when associating with them.
I also really like the shrewd ways Remus gathers information. It's impressive, all he can figure out.
“There’s werewolves at Borgin and Burkes! Kingsley needs to be warned!” 'There's' should be 'There are'.
Nymphadora Tonks yawned hugely, turned on her heel and Disapparated from right outside the Ministry of Magic to a dirty street in London. I love the yawn you added at the beginning of this sentence. It makes Tonks seem both herself and very humanly tired. I love it when you add little details to the story like that: they make it more believable and personal.
With that in mind, she tapped the door, which slid silently open. Did she tap on it with her wand? Before, when she rapped, it didn't open, so I assume it was her wand, but I wasn't quite sure.
The transformation was marvelous. I loved the way you made Remus throw himself at the door through which Tonks could see. The section was entirely believable, and Tonks's fearless worry after the transformation was admirable and another lovely sign of her growing feelings for him.
But this is worse than the time Arthur found me, Remus argued silently. Why should that be? This little bit of confusion is precious. It corresponds both with his feelings for Tonks and with his recent transformation, the combination of which leave him completely lost.
asked in a voice that tried very hard to break away from him I can hear, quite clearly, the voice you describe here. It's a wonderful way to show both how Remus sounded and how his voice felt when he realised what happened.
Tonks thought he was paler than usual and for the first time that she had known him, he stammered. You already mentioned that he was paler than usual, but I like the second part of this sentence,when you say that Tonks notices Remus's stammering. The way Remus said his next words was particularly impressive because Remus never referred to himself as a werewolf. I found this interesting, the mention of a werewolf attacks other people as opposed to relating it back to himself.
Only werewolves is a good connection to the beginning, when the werewolves to whom Remus was speaking said that wizards did't consider them part of society: they were right.
And once again, a lovely chapter! I'm sorry there was so much to commend. Well, I'm not actually sorry, but it is a lot of reading for you. Anwyway, the conclusion was delightfully peaceful and worked well to show how Tonks helped calm the sense of panic Remus had felt earlier in the chapter. Excellent work, dear!
Author's Response: Good heavens, don\'t ever be sorry! I adore long reviews. They make me happier than a load of caffeine and sugar together. Seriously.
Thanks for pointing out those evil mistakes; they will be fixed shortly. Thanks also for stringing together the parts you liked -- I know I liked them there, but I can\'t always say why, so it\'s great to find out!
Yes, Remus doesn\'t speak too often of himself -- I know it\'s movie-canon, but I think of the part when Remus says that the parents will not want \"a...a...what I am\" or something like that. It\'s a very real part of him, but at the same time, he tries to disconnect from it.
Thank you so much for such a beautiful review! Come any time you please! :D
She felt at times as if she just couldn’t see him, that he would saunter around a corner any moment with a bark-like laugh and a bear-like hug. I really like this little detail you added to give the reader a sense for what she misses about Sirius. The word 'couldn't' is confusing here, though. It would work better if you changed it to 'she could almost see him'.
And I think it would make Harry feel better…” When someone trails off at the end of a sentence, the ellipsis has four dots.
I really enjoyed the part of Tonks that you showed the reader after the memory--an explanation of her mouse-grey hair when she doesn't concentrate on it. That would be frustrating, to have appearance sensitive to emotion. It gives the reader a hint as to what Tonks is feeling.
he students had left that morning and Remus had dared come outside You need a comma after 'morning' for your coordinating conjunction, just because there's a complete clause after 'and'.
I enjoyed the bit of thinking Remus did there, too. I also really liked that his conclusion was that he didn't want to overanalyse himself--what a familiar feeling.
She had developed a mild fancy for Remus shortly after meeting him, but had only become aware of it after helping him recover from his transformation earlier than year. You don't need the comma after 'him' because you don't have a complete clause after 'but'.
I really like the exchange between Tonks and Remus--first, Tonks's assessment of her changing opinion of Remus, then, afterwards, the glance they share when Remus asks very seriously how she's doing. This level of seriousness isn't common for Tonks, so it's interesting to see how Remus brings it out.
Their obvious, hesitant feelings for each other brought tears to Tonks’ eyes. Tonks's. And it's cute that she thinks this is cute, too. >.>
“Good bye, Tonks.” Goodbye=oneword.
He paced restlessly, not knowing or caring how long he walked. Neither knowing nor caring would make more sense.
He had known that something was strange for a while, but had not realised what it was. Had not permitted himself to? I would insert 'he' before 'had not' and 'know' after 'to', just to clear up any grammar questions round there.
I love that Remus and Tonks have their revelation about the other at about the same time, and I also like how you wrote both of them. It's really precious.
Oooh, yay, PoV switch that shows their thoughts! You did a great job on that, and it keeps the reader interested.
He had felt as though he stood on a railroad track, and when she smiled, his stomach flipped over, right before the freight train hit him. Um, can I tell you how much I adore this simile? *adores*
She loved Remus’ smile. Remus's.
Oh, good gracious, Remus's confession to himself that he's similar, at least in semblance, to Severus is marvelously true, and a brilliant thing for you to notice and incorporate. His final acceptance of his love is perfectly written.
Hee--the romantic conclusion the two of them reach together is wonderful. Poor Remus, always second-guessing himself, and Tonks, willing to give anything a try, will be the one to rescue him. Amazingly IC, you know, this little mental debate.
I'm sorry that I commented on spelling/grammar things so much--you know, though, how much I adore your writing and this story. And you did say you wanted me to point them out. So I did. Excellent job on this chapter, though, Katie. Really. It's precious and excellently well-written.
Author's Response: SQUEEEE!! You have just made a lousy ending of the day a lot better. Just to know that someone cares enough to leave such a thoughtful review is lovely.
Heh heh, yes, I am fond of the train simile. I spent a long time working it out, actually. I\'ll fix all the grammar stuff (at some point; don\'t kill me if I don\'t do it now!). And thank you for your reassurances on the characters; I\'m always worried that they\'re not quite what they should be.
Thank you soooo much!
Well, the power's out, but I opened this before the Internet was gone, so I can at least write my review. Here goes!
Tonks nodded, the shock on her face already fading into determination. The two left, leaving the teenagers silent. This sentence is another one of those ways you help the reader get to know your characters! Changes in expression can show so much. Great technique!
I love how you introduce the events from OotP from a completely different standpoint. And I love how you made the fall Remus's doing! The plate hit the tiled floor, shattered into the proverbial thousand pieces. Suggestion: Take out the comma in the middle and insert an 'and'.
Tonks's banter with Moody is refreshing--someone isn't afraid of him! I love characters who roll their eyes. It makes them seem so much more real.
I really, really love how you've integrated your story into the Canon events in this chapter. It's impressive how you make it work. I begin to forget that these lines have even been written already! I want to do something like that with my next story, so I can use this as a model. *places Katie's lovely story behind a glass case*
Harry did rose quickly (Sirius had really chosen well with that Firebolt), following Tonks. May I suggest removing 'did'?
The others could see the house, but to Harry it had simply appeared. Ooh, I don't remember it saying anything about that in Canon! Or if it did, I wasn't paying attention to the details that are really difficult to pick up when Harry's narrating. That's a brilliant way to work it out.
Ha. And I found out my Internet was *ahem* disconnected on purpose. Anyway...
Author's Response: Awww, I get a glass case? I\'m so honored! * Agh, I hate stupid mistakes like that! Will remove excess word NOW. * I had a lot of trouble deciding what to do about the house. To me, it didn\'t make sense that it wasn\'t there at all until Harry saw it, so I invented a version. I think I may have gotten it a bit off in regards to leaving the house, but I think this works. * Thank you so much for your time and remarks! They are incredibly inspirational. And thank you for the compliment of the glass case!
Your first review! I LOVE this story so far, and I can't wait for more! I especially like the part when Ron is shocked at the letter Harry gave him. *cough* I think the letter was from the wrong pocket. That's what happens when you are up all night writing. *I read this story about ten times, it was so good!* Keep up the great work, and let me know when there's more! Definitely a ten!
And no, contrary to beliefs very likely impressed upon you by this summary, I'm not a gormless prat.
Well... not entirely.
I had to hand it to Lily. There was no denying her gift for gab. No question there! You made Lily properly intellectual. Your narrator is positively charismatic! I can't wait to see more.
Hmmm, Luna... I really like parts of it so far. I like the idea of a separate Head's Dorm, and conflict with her friends. It's good! Tell me when the next chappie is up!
Author's Response: Thanks, Hermione =) I just sent in chap. 2, so hopefully it will be up soon
I love the way you describe the grotto Luna found. It's precious! The peaceful way she settles into it is lovely.
After all, mud could be washed away. Luna is very in character.
Caution battled against interest as Luna travelled adjacent to the trees up the hill. This is an excellent way to describe Luna's thoughts. Your narration is lovely.
I also love the way Luna just.. finds him, and everything fits together. Luna is forever soothing, and her love for Harry just seems to--make sense. Excellent writing!
Author's Response: Luna is one of the hardest characters to write, I\'ll admit very modestly. I tried to set my mind to a very light and airy one. Got dizzy after a while. =P
I loved it! The characterisation of all of your characters was original and accurate. James's modesty was only briefly swayed, and his devotion to everyone maintaining a certain view of him was well-integrated.
I also liked the easy conversation and clear friendship between the four Marauders. They have everything best friends do. The little hints at this friendship are what makes the story so happy!
“If he actually makes this, I’ll turn into a fluffy puppy next full moon,” I said dryly as I watch James top nineteen feet. This is a very Remus-y line, and entertaining, too.
There was only one thing that didn't quite make sense--you mentioned the feet he was climbing at the beginning and said something about rock, but it was a little difficult for the reader to understand just where James was going. Was he climbing up the face of the castle? That would be incredible! Also, I think you might have meant 'reverently' instead of 'reverentially.' Just a thought...
By far, though, my favourite part was your plot: Lily's opinion is finally swayed by something James was doing mostly for his reputation, but to impress her as well. It makes sense, but it's something I've never seen before. Excellent job, and I can't wait to read more of your writing!
p.s. You might want to add 'successfully' between 'finally' and 'asks' in your summary, to avoid confusion.
I love the way you set up the scene at the beginning. It's easy to picture the room the way an average person would, then the way Blaise does. It's a good introduction to your narrative's PoV.
However, Blaise Zabini found the odor noxious, but a corner was a convenient place to hide. I like this sentence! You might want to change 'but' to 'and,' though, to avoid a double negative.
I also loved the way you set up Blaise's background by utilising flashbacks of what people had said to him.
‘If she’d just quite questioning me, this would be great,’ he thought as they went to the right and then down several steps. This is such a perfect overachiever thought! Good relation to what we've heard about Blaise so far.
Hmm.. wouldn't Hermione have thanked Blaise for his help? Maybe not, but she usually doesn't really judge people until they're awful...
Overall, I loved the storyline. Blaise and Hermione exploring Hogwarts--it was a very interesting read! And great revelation at the end. It makes the reader wonder what Hermione was thinking!
Author's Response: Hmm. Good point about Hermione. She wasn\'t in a good mood that night, so I guess she was a little short tempered. ;) Yeah, I hope that we see more of Hogwarts in book 7. I\'ve always imagined that its full of really interesting places that would be worlds of fun to explore.
Twenty-five? gracious!!!
Well, this chapter is beautifully precious. I love how you've captured their spirits. Everything was so easy to picture clearly!
I loved the pidgeon analogy. Poor Lily. It was so sweet.
And I've only just found out his favorite color, for heaven's sake." She smiled wispily. "Scarlet. What a lovely name. Nothing like 'red' or 'orange.' Scarlet.
My favorite quote because colors can tell us so much about people! Excellent job, MM, and I can't wait for more of these!
Author's Response: Thank you Hermione. The color was added only later when I realized I didn't have enough characters to submit. But I'm glad it worked out so wonderfully in the end. And yes, there will be more to come when you and the rest of the ship inspire me more :D
I love how this story is starting. It's curious that Ginny is alive, but she's not. I know it's probably too soon and very cliche to say so, but I hope she runs into Draco, and they discuss her deathday a bit more. It was the perfect addition that he couldn't do it himself! I love him. I can't wait to read more! Tell me when you have the next chapter!
Author's Response: Thank you!