Hi, I'm CA. I used to be a college student studying (in a loose sense of the word) Genetics and Biotechnology with a minor in Music. Now I'm a part-time secretary with no delusions of grandeur whatsoever.
I am an avid reader. Sometimes I write. Other preferred activities include playing piano, dancing, singing, and generally loving life.
I'm a member of Hufflepuff House. One of those "we'll take the lot" cases more than hard work or loyalty, I'm afraid.
Before I started writing fanfiction seriously, I hated romance. I wouldn't even read it here. Then I discovered Other Pairings and I've unleashed a great power of fluff. I hope you enjoy my work. Feel free to drop me a review if you get the notion.
My favorites right now are "We Need All the Allies We Can Get" and "Catchphrase." "Gratification and Justification" has its moments. "Don't Get Caught" is my one featured story.
I absolutely needed to write a Hermione/Snape review this month, and I thought that it would be nice to review yours, seeing as I read it so long ago and I need to get into the habit of reviewing what I read. So, review your story I will!
Okay, I’m going to start out by warning you that I am refusing to be nitpicky throughout this review. There were a few typos and errors, but they didn’t detract too terribly from the story so I will ignore most of them. [/disclaimer]
You have such vivid descriptions in this story, and I especially love the continuing contrast between dark and light, moonlight and shadow, that sort of thing. I thought it was rather well executed and apt for a Snape-might-end-up-being-redeemed story. Other nice imagery includes the truth as a bloody murdered corpse. I never knew I had such a morbid fascination, but I thought that it was in character of Snape to think of this event in those sorts of terms.
Hermione’s “Okay” being as fragile as her trust was also a very nice image. I liked it very much; you have some real skill in making those sort of connections.
I know it’s all just to further the plot, but I couldn’t help but wonder just what the Darught of Living Death could be for. If you do ever write a sequel, I hope you think more on that, because it intrigues me. What would both Death Eaters and the Order of the Phoenix want with that particular potion? Just something for you to stew about for a while.
It was quite humorous that it took Snape that long to realize that he’d just Stupefied a human being. Was it just because he’d not been near “normal” people for so long? Or was it just funny. I also liked how he shined a bright light in her face to irritate her and she thought it was Ron. A nice bit of humor in the midst of all the other dark introspection.
I thought the way Hermione did finally trust Snape was perfect. I don’t know if I have much more to say about it because I would just be repeating what you already said and so you would know it, so yeah. Well done on that bit.
I couldn’t help but think it just a little bit out of character to go from hating Snape to trusting Snape to kissing Snape. I didn’t understand her train of thought (probably because neither did Severus). Not that I’m mad about the kiss, but I think it might have been okay just leaving it at the holding of the hand and maybe a tentative hug, although that would have led to a kiss (maybe, you never can tell with that Granger girl), so I guess it’s fine how you left it. It just struck me as a little odd, especially when she decided that she would be willing to pursue a relationship with him.
Okay, I can’t help it. I have to put in one nitpick. Agh, I can’t find it now!! But somewhere in there, before all the other talk of Pensieves, there is a pensieve that needs to become pensive. I think it’s talking about Hermione and it kills me that I can’t find it. Oh well. I hope you enjoy your very vague nitpick. *rolls eyes*
Your Snape is very good. I like how irritated he is by the disarray of his lovely potions closet, and how he refuses to become immersed in nostalgia because it’s not the kind of person he would be, is it? His discussion about his innocence and how futile it would be strikes me as the sort of thing he would think about the whole idea. I could keep talking about every little thing, but suffice it to say that I like the way you wrote Snape. I expect you’ve had a bit of practice by now.
Overall good story. If Hermione and Snape had to meet at Hogwarts under those circumstances, it is only fitting that it is in a Potions closet. And if anyone can prove Snape’s innocence, with a little motivation, it would be Hermione – she has great ideas about how it happens (and I suppose you do, too, seeing as you wrote it and all). I feel as if I am rambling and so perhaps I ought to stop before I either praise or criticize every single sentence in your story. Have a nice day! *D*
I love the Viktor/Hermione interactions. The Harry/Susan interactions are good--Patrick was right when he said they seem to go together like bacon and eggs, peanut butter and jelly perhaps. Interesting dynamic with Ron and Draco, too. I just may check out your next chapter!
I was afraid of this. I knew you'd be able to write a beautiful Hermione/Viktor story and I would feel ashamed for even trying. I really like the way you set it up, how he noticed her for the first time in comparison to all the fangirls. And how he keeps butchering her name? Lovely!
Okay, I can't be scared of reviewing Seren. Even though it's tantamount to approaching God here at MNFF . . .
You have Viktor down to an art, Seren. He's bumbling, ungraceful, but clever and funny and smart--long-winded explanation of Veela and chemical balances? Wow, who would know that stuff?
I do have one nitpick (again, it's like trying to correct God). This has to do with the next chapter too, but Karkaroff says, "Ve need to talk." As far as I remember, his English, for some reason, is impeccable and he has no trace of accent in the books. But I just might be wrong.
Well . . . have a nice day.
I am sorry I keep pestering you with reviews. In retrospect, perhaps I should have just reviewed once with every acclamation I felt for this story and left it at that. But it might be awkward to have a review gushing about how you portrayed Viktor's disgust with his Headmaster just perfectly and with lovely humor! Taking the Giant Squid to the Yule Ball? Classic! Many other lines in here I have loved (I keep writing in Krum-speak), and one question.
When Hermione is prattling on about how to prepare for the ball, Viktor's eyes rise to perilous heights. I've been having a hard time imagining that. Are they so high as to roll back into his head? Or did you mean his eyebrows?
I would feel bad if I didn't go ahead and review your last chapter at this point, so you will have to deal with my gushingness for one more review.
Insert more gushiness about Viktor's character here.
You did the Ball just the way I wanted to, with a few minor differences. But I'm glad that someone was able to get it right. I liked how you had Hermione confiding in Neville--ooh, I just now thought, Ginny ditched him for Michael Corner, didn't she? Strange, I've never thought of him as blond. At least, not for a few years.
And the kiss. Hooray for kisses. Thank goodness Ron didn't open the portrait a little earlier! I also like how she wrote him a note behind her back--although, why behind her back? Isn't that where Ron was? Oh, I don't remember.
Thank you, Seren, for your impression of how Viktor saw it. You've helped it become all the more solidly my OTP. Great romance--never seen too much of that from you before! Thanks again and have a nice day--unless you have other plans!
It's Seventh Year, and the new Headmaster has decreed that students must take some sort of course to fulfill the new Art Requirement. Our favourite characters have decided to take Drama. What kind of hilarity will ensue when the night of the first dress rehearsal arrives? Expect Hagrid as a Tree, Ron as Godric Gryffindor and Malfoy as the Amazing "Dancing" Ferret.
Ron/Luna, Prof. Pat/Hermione, Blaise/Himself
That was funny! I don't know why Lavender got to be Helga because she's supposed to be a Gryffindor, but it pulled the "plot" along quite nicely!
I have just one nitpick: "you're run of the mill Merlin" should be, I'm pretty sure, "your run of the mill Merlin." Oh, and bespeckled? I'm not sure I agree with that description. perhaps bespectacled . . . ?
Ah, I wish all Humor fics could be like this one. You've actually got quite a talent. Not that I ever doubted you for a second, of course.
*giggles* Professor Pat. *giggles* "one fine specimen of a man," eh?
Great job with the challenge and all (what can I say, I peeked in SPEW one day), it was a great masterpiece and Malfoy's last line was pretty good too. *rolls eyes* Okay, I'm done. Have a nice day! *D*
Very action-packed and exciting. I agree that it is rather confusing. For example, the last sequence of events: The amazing power that Harry has recently gained makes itself manifest, then the other Death Eater tries to get away but a white hand materializes. Where did this hand come from? I have no problems with Harry's new power, but did the hand come from him? How do we know about that?
And then the wands fly back, then Harry says "Hermione," and jerks his head. Why? And then who says "Levicorpus?" (It's nonverbal, by the way.) If the spell is aimed at Harry, why isn't he upside-down? Then he conjures a rope and takes care of the fugitive--that's just fine. Most of the stuff I'm summarizing here is fine, unless I have a question about it. But then Malfoy escapes? Was Malfoy the fugitive? Why should we care so much if Malfoy esacpes? (mm, and is it Lucius or Draco?) I can see why that would be important in future, but it seems here like it's an unnecessary piece of information.
I hope my questions are helpful, I'm trying to help you see what ends up being confusing for your readers. But I know where you're coming from--when so much action is going on sometimes it's hard to remember to put in the details that help us out. I just have one more comment, I promise.
It's Harry couldn't understand what had just happened. I think that he would be able to comprehend what had happened, he might be in shock, though, and I think that's what you're trying to portray. You could probably omit that sentence and just say "Harry was so exhausted . . ."
Good closing sentence. It makes it seem like the action might be over, but it might not be. Keeps the readers right in the middle, with no real sense of closure. I like that.
Anyway, I think this is a very promising first fanfic, I'll definitely keep an eye on it. Have a nice day!
Oh, PS: I don't know if this is what you were going for, but the Red Robes reminded me of Durmstrang, because that's the color of their school uniforms according to GoF. I don't think that's who they are, so I'll just have to wait and see! Have a nice day! *D*
Author's Response: Ok, firstly thanks lot. It was a nice review. As for the hand, the sentence is Harry slashed is wand and a white hand materialized, so it should come from him.
In the case of Levi Corpus, I agree it was a mistake. I wanted to lob him out of the train. But Levi Corpus shoud hang him upside down, so it definitely needs to be corrected. Maybe I will replace it with a Hover Charm or Wingardium Leviosa.
The fugitives that are caught are unknown DE's. Most of the known ones like Lucius Malfoy and Dolohov scamper off when they witness Harry's power.
In case of other confusing things, I left the chapter at that. After the high action, I wanted to leave the readers with a sudden finish. The explanations will come later.
In my determination to make the chapter I have made some careless, yet cataclysmic errors. I promise not to repeat such mistakes in the future chapters.
Don't you think Harry's actions were reminiscent of DD's style?
Thanks
Wendol.
Okay, it is time to produce the penance I have been meaning for months to do – ever since I first read this story, in fact. It’s nice to be forced to do it, because it means that it will actually get done, and I want you to know how much I enjoy this story every time I read it – I must be upwards of ten reads by now.
The first paragraph is just so perfectly executed to draw the reader in. And it begins to show the problems Harry and Luna are facing right away. They’re up against prejudice and expectations, we can tell at once. And the introduction of the youngest member of the family is well done, too – this last time I read it I noticed that he really must have his mother’s eyes, not to mention his father’s hair. Interestingly enough (and this is just an example of what a scatterbrain I am) I hardly noticed that it was winter because the atmosphere inside the house was so warm and cheerful. Even reading “frozen garden” millions of times didn’t make the connection for me.
I also just noticed how Jon refused to cry because of shame, but he started crying when he saw how angry his father was. What a nice touch. Interesting that there’s a part of Harry that clings to fairness but a better part that knows better. I’m not sure what exactly “better” refers to – I rather like the ambiguity, actually – but it’s an interesting thought. All sorts of things I’m realizing! What an amazing story you have here!
Miss Sarah seemed almost too good to be true. I especially found it funny when she was so concerned about Snorkle Pox – maybe she wasn’t familiar with the Lovegood reputation, or maybe she took everything seriously, but that was one of my favorite lines. I also noticed that we don’t know if Snorkle Pox really exists – we rarely do when dealing with Luna – but there’s a real test for it and apparently it’s uncomfortable.
The background check seemed a little out of place after all of the other rigorous testing Sarah went through. Funny how something as commonplace as a background check – which happens for every nanny, I think – occurs for even this family.
I like this story very much. It never gets old and the resolution is so satisfying – it’s pleasing to read a story where everything works out perfectly, finally, after so much pain and hard work on all sides. Well done, Mask!
Have a nice day! *D*
Very cute story. I liked how he knew it was Pomona because of the last gift, and she was also the first one he suspected, but then dismissed it . . . for some reason.
And you just had to add Maeve, didn't you? Oh, that made me smile more than the thought of Flitwick having a secret admirer.
Anyway, well done and all. Very sweet story, I loved it. Have a nice day! *D*
Cute story. I think you incorporated the challenge nicely; Hermione's sacrifice was just onerous enough to make it a real burden on her, which made it all the sweeter.
As a friendly reminder, because I know to which House you belong, you might want to say so in your summary so you can get points! That would be quite nice, I think. Have a nice day!
I think that this is a very good application of the Challenge! I haven't read the companion yet (although now I may have to) but I felt that I knew Verity and her troubles.
And the names! I thought it was bad enough with Chastity and Faith, and then I found out there was a Hope too! Attack of the Virtuous Names!
Anyway, I think you've given a character that we've seen only briefly and given no information about a good solid life. I felt so bad for her.
Well done!
So this chapter...is in some serious need of reviews. My favorite part about the chapter was the part where Liam kept galloping off to Sweden. For some reason. Can’t think why he would do that. Though the fact that Siobhan is in there at all is amusing unto me.
This chapter is a good exposition of Imogen and also a good exposition of the major plot point for the next bit, which I think I may have guessed. However, the chapter in and of itself is not much besides an exposition. Which means, of course, that strictly following this review you must add a new chapter. Because this chapter doesn’t give us a whole lot but a bunch of new characters. That’s my main criticism.
But you do a good job with the characters you do introduce. Imogen and Andrew are very similar in their shallowness – we haven’t seen much of the bratty side of Imogen yet, but once I knew that it was there I could see glimpses of it in what we’ve got so far. That’s a good sign.
You’d be surprised to find out that I am writing this review without the story right in front of me. I guess I’ve just read it so often I have it memorized. Stupid internet. I’m finally writing the review, and it won’t even let me look at your story. *is sad*
*is finally able to read it* There’s a lot of Imogen that might be skipped over but that may prove important to how the story plays out – how she can’t help but want to be praised and admired, how she avoids awkward people and situations, and stuff like that. Yes, this review is mainly “Boy, can’t wait to see what happens next!” but there’s a reason for that.
Now, have a nice day and no more complaining about having no reviews.
I swear I’ve almost reviewed this chapter like ten times. Which is why I was so surprised when I found, while browsing through your stories for one I might want to review, there’s no review here with my name on it. Let’s fix that.
There is some good stuff in this chapter: you bring up George/Andrea, and Hermione’s developing feelings for Charlie, and some nice Andrea/Hermione interaction. Not to mention the hints of trouble that are so very muted in this chapter it’s easy to overlook them, just as the characters in the story do.
You write Fred and George rather well. I guess you’ve had a bit of practice with LB, but I still am just so happy when I see well-written twinning, and that is you. I also liked the way Hermione and Charlie are getting more comfortable together, that he can sit down at the table and eat at her place like it’s nothing.
I know we’ve discussed this before, how the whole George/Andrea story is confusing. One of the versions you talked to me about had more explanation, one of them didn’t. After having read this again, I’d have to vote for an explanation of it somewhere. Because it’s sort of...confusing.
Okay. Some things I’m not so sure about.
When Hermione just smiles at the thought of Charlie and thinks that he’s indescribable. Does he have to be? Like, we really don’t know much about him or his interaction with Hermione besides what we see in the short conversation they have. Perhaps she can think of some of the things they’ve done that sort of...help us see how they are together.
“I’d put on the Oliver team. Still doesn’t make sense to me. Did you mean “I’d put Oliver on the team”? I just don’t know. That’s what makes most sense to me.
It was always nice to see the good-natured Hermione Granger. It was good to have her back I just don’t like that both of those sentences start with “It was [insert positive adjective here].” There could be some way to rearrange those sentences, I think.
These are very picky things, and you know it’s because you’re just a good writer. And I really wish I could see what happens next. I mean, I do know most of what happens next, but ... things could’ve changed.
Pleeeeeeeeease update soooooon!!!!!!!1! [/spew-inappropriate review behavior]
...This will not be the sort of long review I would like to leave, that I've been meaning to leave for a while, but I feel I ought to tell you how much I love your story.
I got my wisdom teeth out this morning and reading this chapter has made me feel so much better -- thanks for that.
This chapter was excellent because of all the great twists and turns that I can see leading to the final denoument...which you said was happening a long time ago but it's just fine also to have this keep going.
Random...I work at an ice cream place and whenever someone orders a strawberry with almonds sundae I think of this story. It's made quite an impact on me.
*sigh* Since I DID get my wisdom teeth out today, I'm not quite as coherent as I'd like, but thanks so much for updating -- it's quite possibly the best chapter yet! *ponders* Maybe not. But it's really good!
Have a lovely day! *D*
Cool poem! I do wonder how you managed to put it in a category-less place. I never would've found it but for an accidental click of the mouse button. The words didn't make a whole lot of sense, but the overall tone was rather nice, like a whispered dream or a lullabye like you said. It was nice. Might want to move it to the poetry category, though.
Author's Response: I've no idea how I managed to put it in a catagory-less place either, but my computer is acting up and won't let me move it or delete it. Quite frusterating really.
You were holding out on me, Lei! I forgive you, though, because this is such a beautiful first chapter. It clearly sets the stage for future developments and also introduces the characters, who we all should know by now, in a different light than we usually expect.
For example, who’d have thought that Lily hated winter? But it makes sense for her to, and the complaints she issues can resonate in the soul of anyone who has looked out at the snowfall and sighed. I especially like the use of “jagged white shapes” instead of a more positively connoted “snowflakes” – really illustrates how much she hates the season.
I could spend the whole review raving about Lily. How she takes advantage of the empty lounge and it’s implied that she’s doing her homework, but then we find out that she’s reading David Copperfield? Her self-sacrifice for Remus’ sake. The way she deals with James. I really like the Lily you’re giving us in this story. She’s not a Mary-Sue.
I also love how you clearly portray James and Sirius as brilliant, and good at Transfiguration. That’s canon, but we tend to forget that it is. Even I read Remus’ reply about how he shares a dorm with two Transfiguration geeks (excuse my paraphrasing) and was like, “Oh yeah. Yeah, that would be a real issue, wouldn’t it?” Right now Miss Susan seems to have been an avenue to introduce the brilliance of James and Sirius, but I look forward to seeing more of her in the future. Susan Ross. Solid name.
I got a good hint of James’ arrogance when he bragged about his snowman to Lily. If stuff like that happened all the time, I can see why Lily would be so ticked at him. Also how he dismisses the Slytherins and stuff. But it wasn’t too blatant, it didn’t require a jolly laugh-up, I’m so amazing, Lily, don’t you agree? It was just there. Just part of his natural personality.
And you didn’t forget Peter either. He very clearly has positive traits that would give reason to him being a Marauder – everyone needs humor, and if the narrator bespoke him aright, Peter would be a good avenue for that. One thing that I might consider changing about his and Sirius’ interchange is at the very end, when Sirius says something along the lines of “what am I going to do with you?” and Peter replies, “You could play Gobstones with me while you’re at it.” I think it would make better sense if instead of “while you’re at it” you changed it to something like “while you’re thinking/deciding/etc.”
You’re going to think me the pickiest girl alive when I tell you that the library’s on the fourth floor.
I really liked that Remus and Lily were best friends. They acted very comfortable around each other and I laughed when he imitated her way of sitting. Also think it’s funny that Remus wears glasses. Who’da thunk?
Two little nitpicks. “Catching up with each other’s lives” and also when Lily thinks, One night with James can’t hurt you should lose the quotation marks, unless she’s really emphasizing it to Remus.
Okay, time for just a little more fangirl squeeing, even though I’m sure you’re sick of me by now – I’ll admit that this is the longest review I’ve ever written, but it was worth it.
I love how you introduced the action that’s going to make up the gist of the story ... what with the Slytherins in the greenhouses, the Slug Club party, etc and so forth. Your characterization and writing style are so exquisite. Every time I go back to your story I think of more I should say. I’m about to add that little two cents about James up there now. I love it, Lei. Can’t wait for more – please write more. From the writer of Clair de Lune <–made me laugh. Don’t know why. Okay, I’m done now. Have a nice day! *D*
I haven't really reviewed this chapter yet (and the review I did leave startled one of your other reviewers, lol), so this will be a short but real review for one of my favoritest authors.
This chapter marked a small stepping stone in the J/L relationship, and I liked it. Of course, it was hard to tell why James decided he should go get Lily. But he did, and that's what matters, eh?
And Lily stood up for him, too. That was sweet of her.
*sigh* I don't want to pressure you about finishing this, but consider this a gentle reminder not to abandon this story. I really do like it.
Oh, and guess what. I have a painful spot above my left eyebrow right now. I like the way you're characterizing Susan.
I think I'm just going to keep rambling until I run out of things to say. I just noticed that James and Sirius are pretty keen on not letting Remus and Lily spend too much time together. *sigh* Did you notice I've been converted to that ship?
Anyway, yeah. Just as long as this story's still somewhat alive, I'm happy. You have other things to be getting on with, anyway. *wink*
Have a nice day, Lei!
Author's Response: Dude, Remus/Lily is the ultimate MWPP ship. Not even J/L. Remus/Lily pwns all! ;) Thanks SO much, dear, your reviews always mean a lot [even the evil ones!]
THIS STORY IS SO STUPID I CANT BELIEVE THAT YOU DONT HAVE JAMES AND LILY TOGETHER YET WHAT SORT OF WRITER ARE YOU YOU STINK!!!!!!!!!!
Author's Response: Against all odds, y\'know you love me, CA, dearest. ;)
Just when I thought it couldn't get better - Elysa and Lex join the fray too! I liked this chapter (you'd better be continuing this story, or Lei won't be the only one at your throat), but it didn't have enough Remus in it. Other than that -- I really enjoy your writing style. It's refreshing and humorous. I can't wait to see what happens next! Have a nice day! *D*
Author's Response: I have promised Lei that she shall be having a chapter every week (or as near to that as i can get) until she turns 17, which will be next March. I\'ve got a lot of good ideas floating around about where to go with it, so continuing shouldn\'t be a problem. I\'m sure if it is then Lei can find some way to persuade *cough*frighten*cough* me into moving it along. Thanks for taking the time to review, CA, I appreciate it.