Just... wow. I don't think I need to say anymore.

Author's Response: :) I am terrible at structured poetry. This review made me grin!

Oooo...Dark stuff! Very nicely written and probably not just fitting for Draco.
Next up on the to read list: Shrouds.

Author's Response: Thank you very much. I think this is my favourite poem of mine on the archives so I'm pleased you liked it.I was certainly on a Draco redemption kick when I wrote it. Hope you enjoy Shrouds. I think it divides people, somewhat, but I was pleased with my story and plotting. ~Carole~

I don’t wish to be repetitive of other reviews, so I’ll keep it short (as usual, it seems).
I really liked this story, and I think your writing is fantastic. I think I will have to start stalking your stories like OtterMoone. (Correction: I already have.)
I don’t really know how to describe it: intriguing perhaps? The characterization was very good, but this is one ship I will probably never look towards. I know it’s not your normal Lavender ship too though, so a brave venture. Kudos to you.
Finally got the word: exquisite...I think.

Author's Response: Thank you!! Um, yeah, it's not my usual ship - at all - but it was written for the challenge of writing something I wouldn't normally consider (I wrote Truth or Dare for the same reason - ha!). I needed a hook, obviously, and the hook was Ron because that's what they have in common, so what if Lavender was mushy over Ron to wind up Hermione?

You probably know I adore Lavender and spend a large part of my fanfic life defending her, so this was along those lines :D - Thank you for all your reviews today ~Carole~

Really enjoyable. (actually the first word I thought of was highly enjoyable, but I thought that that would be too much of a pun on your other Scorpius/Lily story, which I think I will now have to read!)
Loved the prank!

Author's Response: OOOH, I hope you do read High. I loved writing that story so much - hee hee. thank you for reading this and reviewing. It is much appreciated. ~Carole~

This was a nice poem, especially for a first try.

To state the obvious, this poem repeats. The repetition of the 'You and I' stanza at the end was powerful, but I don't think that the one before it was necessary. On that note, I think the poem would've been more powerful if you'd put the first stanza after the second, because then the poem would've opened and closed on the same stanza.

The stanza in question, is, on its own, very nice, although a tiny bit cliche. I did like your spacing though, especially of the last line, as it really emphasises that Tonks' life is all about being with Remus.

The first stanza was simple, and I quite liked it. However, I felt like it should've perhaps been an echo of the third stanza rather than the other way (or at least that's how it felt to me). If you perhaps moved it between the fourth and fifth stanzas, I think it would work better.

The third stanza was the best one in terms of imagery. It really described the actual atmosphere of the battle, and the last line was especially good in that it showed their feeling of hopelessness, despite the fact that they are fighting and they are actually doing something.

I wasn't so keen on the fourth stanza, to be honest. The first half was good, but the 'I didn't think it'd happen' line just felt a little bit out of place in the whole poem. The 'here and now' lines though, despite the preceding line feeling a little out of place, did emphasise the imminence of death, and how Tonks has actually realised what she's doing and what's about to happen to her.

I liked the fifth stanza much better. I think that you could've omitted the 'she' at the beginning of the third line and added a ‘with’ in the middle of the first line, which would let the entire stanza flow as a single sentence. Also, you may want to change retched to wretched, as to retched means to regurgitate your last meal...

If you sort of rearranged the poem, I think that it would flow a little better. I think it could also use some punctuation, although it works alright without. For example, if you were to put a colon after mine in the sixth stanza, it would put an emphasis on Tonks' realisation that these were actually their last moments. Punctuation would just make the poem more potent.

All in all though, this poem does convey the poignancy of Tonks and Lupin's last deaths. As I said, it’s good for a first try. I hope to read more of your poetry, as it does have great potential.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for all your lovely comments - I am in awe of every poem I've read of yours, so it's lovely to get comments from you! I wrote this quite a while ago, so I agree with most of your comments - I can't believe I didn't notice retched/wretched ... I laughed out loud at that, actually. :) Anyway, thanks again! :)

This poem, like your other one, was good, and does have potential.

The opening stanza was lovely. The list of powerful emotions clearly showed Ginny’s character and actual feelings. The second stanza was also good, although I don’t think that ‘just for fun’ was necessary. I felt that it sort of diverted the poem from its sombre mood and theme of death and revenge. However, ‘Gone forever’ is definitely more powerful on two lines than one.

The repetition in the third stanza was effective. Normally, I would find repeating something three times unnecessary and irritating, but in this case I felt like it was an echo in the now empty halls of Hogwarts.

The fourth and fifth stanzas truly reflected Ginny’s spirit – first her grief and then her desire for revenge. You show a depth to Ginny which is pleasing to read. Her Weasley traits of determination and inner fight really shine through in the fifth stanza.

The sixth stanza also contained some good imagery – the suffocating guilt – however, I feel that it would benefit from some punctuation. The final two lines would’ve been more powerful if there had been a question mark at the end of the first of the two lines. This would give the effect of Ginny actually questioning whether she’d done enough, which we know she had, but it just shows how corrosive guilt can be.

I really loved the seventh, eighth and ninth stanzas, because you showed a ‘Turn the other cheek’ kind of attitude. Your use of repetition to do this was very poetic.

The tenth stanza’s inner repetition was lovely. However, I think that changing ‘the loss’ to ‘the lost’ would be better, because then she’s crying for the people rather than everything. Although I do understand why she’d grieve for everything, it does make more sense to have a focus.

The final stanza, I felt, was definitely the best stanza: it is beautifully descriptive and the imagery truly represents hope. The extended metaphor is effective – I genuinely felt hope bloom inside me for her, and I really connected to Ginny, despite not actually liking the character much.

As with your other poem, your use of repetition is effective, although I feel like you are overusing it a tiny bit sometimes. You show a connection to the character, and the imagery that you use is potent, but I would also like to see more of it. What isn’t powerful about “ripped my heart to shreds”?

I also think that your poetry would really benefit from some punctuation. To put punctuation into poetry, I tend to read it like prose and punctuate it as necessary. However, I understand if you prefer not to use it. Your poems do work well without it – I just feel like you could convey more emotion in them with a few well-placed full-stops.

Overall though, I did like your poem, and I thank you for giving me an insight into a part of Ginny which I now feel sympathy for.

Well that was…interesting. Then again, the original poem was good, albeit strange. Your representation of Snape is good, and it sticks to canon very well. I did feel that some of this poem was a bit too literal in following the original, but as a Copycat challenge, I suppose that was the point.

The imagery in this poem was very raw and it shows Snape in all his ‘glory’. By that I mean it shows that he truly does love Lily. I especially liked the line

I think that you definitely accommodated the required words well. Don’t get me wrong, the poem is very good, despite its quirks, but I just found it a bit odd. I apologise that this review cannot really do it justice.

So I have read High now (as well as the 8 pages of reviews) and took notes the whole time for this review. It was addictive. I think I can safely say that I stayed up far too late reading it 3 nights running, but it was totally worth it. I think that Scily is going to have to be my number 1 Next Gen pairing, although I didn’t really have one before. Your characterisation was completely on form, as usual.
I think that I am going to start with the Malfoys. I really loved your characterisation of Astoria and Draco. (I thought I saw some Dramione allusions in there, but that’s probably my crazy mind back in action. I sort of ship Dramione, but not as lasting romance, and this has made me understand why.) I really loved Astoria in this. No matter what everyone else said, I think I understand that when she helped Draco and Narcissa because although she loves her son, she loves Draco and has a sense of duty, and she also thinks that it’s the right thing for Scorpius, although I am sorry for him. I read somewhere that the Malfoys were some of the only Death Eaters capable of love and I’m glad that Draco loves his whole family a lot, and not just because of duty. I really liked the Malfoy pureblood obsession in this story too. I commented briefly on the Malfoy upbringing in my one-shot Hindsight (which has been validated - second time lucky!) which I would be honoured if you to read, although I think it's very different from your perspective of Draco. Your Narcissa, however, is ghastly! But I still like her character…
The other characters were very good too. I felt that out of everyone in the story, I liked (and connected to) Genister Avery the most. Andromeda was well done too: I wish she had been in the books a bit more. Probably under the influence of too much Potter Puppet Pals, I have started to really believe that Harry Potter was a bit of a prat, but I don’t think I will anymore. He has grown up very well into a loving father and fair Head of the Auror Department. However, I really liked that his sons were annoying, especially James, who is just like his namesake. Beating the ‘old gits’ at Quidditch was genius too – I can totally imagine Harry and Ron being really big-headed about it. A little nit-pick here: I felt that Lavender shouting “ZABINI!” at the end of chapter 12 sounded a little bit impersonal for a husband and wife (as opposed to Blaise). At least I think that Lavender was shouting… But I really understand why you ship them now: the way you write them makes them a really good couple.
And finally, the lovely couple themselves. I liked the Scorpio Scorpius idea (canon or not?), and that at the beginning he was quite spoilt. The Firebolt X made me think of the Pokemon X cards that were more powerful of something…weird. The Lily the Apple-Queen had me ringing Drapple repeat alarm bells in my head, but it was a really nice touch, especially with Truckle’s apple pastries! The Luna/Hyperion was good, but contrary to Ariana (lucca4), I felt that it was an extreme opposite thing, and felt like their parents had named them like that on purpose (JKR probably did) and that they were breaking away from what people wanted, out of orbit I suppose. But then again, I managed to also come up with opposites attract and Sun and Moon from Miss Saigon. I really liked that this story was not gushy and fluffy and that the relationship was not readily accepted because it made the whole thing much more real. The fox Patronus was another really sweet touch.
Merlin, I have just realised how long this review is! 2 years: what a commitment. I am so glad you finished it though, as it is amazing, like all the rest of your stories. Just one final little (random and irrelevant to the story but pertaining to a review response) thing from me: teenage boys are prats, and yet girls still fall for them...*sigh* - in fact it always seems that the one you want turns out to be a complete arse...

Author's Response: OHHHH, thank youuuu for the long review.

I have seen your story, btw, and was reading it a few days ago. I am planning to review, btw, just been too caught up with the damnfool haleenges here (I love Draco fics).

Okies, the Lavender calling Blaise 'Zabini' is a bit of an indulgence of mine. She does it in a few other fics, and I see it as a bit of a running joke when she's angry - ha ha.

I love Potter Pals - heh heh. Harry does annoy me rather and I struggle with him (whereas I like writing Ron) but I quite like writing him as a dad with a teenage daughter - he wouldn;t know what to do.

Oh, Luna/Hyperion. Well, I wondered that with the names. I started writing this before I remembered, and I always knew Lily was Lily 'luna' but having those two names is just ... fate - hahhahhahah. Not that I really believe in fate, but it did strike me as odd. I should add here that I'm not a Scorpius/Rose fan because it seems too canon, so I grasp at anything that pairs these two up.

A number of people, including my beta, Natalie, who harangues me on a daily basis, have mentioned Genister Avery to me. I am planning another story about her ... or rather all the NG kids ... but I rather like her, too. Plus her dad is in another fic of mine (which I keep forgetting about - ooops)

Sorry, I can't be more coherent at the moment. Thank you very much for the in depth review - Carole~

Wow. That was so emotional, so powerful. It hit me like a brick wall, I was totally speechless. Ok, I will actually start to give you whatever sort of review you can give poetry this amazing now, and stop gawking at my screen.

The first line was less a knife and more a hammer, if you get me. I mean, it wasn’t sharp, it was more than that. It was sort of like a massive punch, and I think that it’s because of the way you used the punctuation, with the short phrase and then the next short phrase. Actually, the two seem connected, and I would’ve used different punctuation here, but I think that what you’ve done is so much better than what I would’ve done with it.

The separation of the ‘He remembers’ adds to the power, and it actually emphasises both the ‘Silence’ line and the ‘he remembers’ line. I personally see the separation as showing his separation from his family, as well, and the Silence is so un-Weasley. Their house is always going to be busy – they have seven children, not to mention Fred, George and Ginny!

The imagery of lists, a tally, was very poignant. Lists are (to me at least) objectifying and boring and I don’t like them. The mundane nature of a list is so different to and unworthy of the vibrancy of life, especially the lives of the people he knows and remembers: his family, friends, people he loves.

Grrr…I hate Yaxley right now. He is evil, and the juxtaposition of gleeful Yaxley and the grinning shark draws such a brilliant comparison.

Silence, silence, silence. It’s so brilliant. He’s avoiding everyone. These people all think he’s still being a pompous prat, but he’s really been humbled. You’ve made me sympathise with Percy so much.

For want of something to critique, nitpick, or anything, I actually can’t find anything. This review is unworthy of your poem. You are just amazing Minna. This poem is so beautifully woven with hate and pain and silence, and it’s so powerful. I don’t know how you do it, really I don’t. Incredible.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review. On lists: I quite like them (as does Percy, I imagine), but yes certainly the lists at the least distanced Percy from living life happily. He has a lot of red in his ledger, even if he didn't directly do anything. And I'm very glad I made you sympathize with Percy (and hate Yaxley. Grrr Yaxley); he's one of my favorites, and I like telling his story.

When I read the summary, I started wondering how they did graduate alive, not just without being expelled!
That was great, but I guess I wasn't really concentrating as I am as confused as McGonagall about Sirius serenading Regulus, but I guess it was just for a laugh? For everyone?

Anyway, brill story!

Author's Response: Ah, yes, many will wonder how the Marauders survived, with Voldemort AND McGonagall . . .

When Sirius accidently let slip Lily's secret and Lily found out, he said he would do anything to make it up to her. So . . . Lily came up with this. (she wasn't dating James for nothing!)

Anyways, I'm really glad you liked the fic: I wrote it as a final for a class I took on the boards. It was a blast. Thanks for reviewing!

!Ellie!