Hi, AM,

This is Vicki of Slytherin House, and I am so glad to read in your bio that you have decided to try writing fanfiction of your own, after reading and enjoying stories written by others for so many years.

I thoroughly enjoyed this little introduction to your story, and I am looking forward to being greatly entertained by your promised series of newspaper and magazine articles and announcements to tell the story of the recovery from the war, as seen through the not-always-objective-or-unbiased eyes of news reporters.

You have captured the style and tone of news reporting well, including the editorial comments, the innuendos, and the little mistakes of fact that creep into what is supposed to be objective journalism. The result is gently humorous and fun to read. A good start to your fanfiction writing career!

Thank you for writing.

Vicki

Hi, Secret M. This is Vicki of Slytherin House, and I just finished reading your “new” (at least, new to us) story The Game.

There’s been so much James/Lily stuff written over the years, of varying quality, that my first instinct is not to read it anymore, but of course that’s not fair, because in the hands of a good writer, a James/Lily story can be very enjoyable, as yours was.

I enjoyed seeing it in the first person, from Lily’s point of view, so that we could hear all her very considered and refreshingly un-angsty thoughts and reflections. It’s a gentle piece, but there is a plot, a story arc. Lily is thoughtful but not over-emotional; she is able to look at herself fairly objectively, and is even getting insights into James also.

I’ll tell you the point in the story where I started getting good vibes: the point where you said ” He was… so arrogant [yes, everyone says “arrogant”, but you went further and actually said what he was overly-proud about] about his stupid grades, his superior Quidditch skills, his impossibly rich family, and the fact that he could charm anyone into liking him.” When people say James is arrogant, they seem to be just parroting what everyone else has said before, but you made that adjective work.

So I will flip my Don’t-Read-James/Lily switch into the “Off” position, and read your other J/L stories also and expect to be pleasantly surprised. Nice job.

Vicki

Author's Response: Thanks for the input. I'm glad you enjoyed it, especially as it's the first time I've ever written in the first person.

Hi, Kylie,

This is Vicki of Slytherin House. Welcome to Mugglenet Fanfiction. I enjoyed reading your prologue to a story that promises mystery, adventure, and surprises. Your writing style is graceful and the sentences flow smoothly. I particularly like the image of the maple tree, with its falling leaves (doubtless red, orange, and yellow) swirling around the large black dog. What a pretty picture!

You have packed a lot of information into this little prologue. There are no wasted lines or “filler” phrases. The prologue seems to form a firm foundation for whatever is going to ensue. I am looking forward to reading the next chapters.

Thank you for writing.

Vicki

Hi, Sydney. Vicki from Slytherin House here again, commenting on your new story.

This is a great story, gracefully written, with no extraneous words or “filler” phrases and sentences. Every detail adds to the characterization of Dorcas and carries the story forward. You say that the story was originally intended to be shorter, but the present length seems just fine, and I’m not sure what I would have had you cut out.

The poor Daily Prophet; it never gets any respect, doubtless because it never deserves any. It seems to lend itself to a never-ending string of jokes. I’m not sure which is more fun, writing Sorting Hat songs or Daily Prophet parodies.

From what we see of Alastor Moody in the seven books, it’s hard to think of a romantic Alastor. It will be interesting to see how you create this aspect of his personality. I would say you have pretty much free rein to do it in the way that seems best to you. Sounds like a challenge!

Nice job on this chapter. I am looking forward to more.

Vicki

Author's Response: Vicki, thanks so much for your review. You are almost as good at writing reviews as you are at writing stories. (I say almost because I don't want to disparage your stories.) What I meant by "I intended it to be shorter," is that it was originally supposed to be a one-shot, but it's expanded a bit. As for the Daily Prophet, I'll give them respect when they've earned it. Maybe if Hogwarts offered a writing class, journalism in the wizarding world would be a bit better. Yeah, I surprised myself when I thought of this fic Moody definitely isn't on anyone's list of most likely to have a girlfriend. Snape has a better lovelife in fanfiction than Moody does... Anyways, thanks for your support. You are so great!

Hi, Neil. A new story about Blaise Zabini, that great enigma of the Potterverse, the student whom we never really know, who keeps his own counsel, never showing his hand. We authors have written him at both ends of the spectrum, as favoring the Death Eaters and as not favoring them, as opposed to and as sympathetic with Dumbledore’s Army, as returning to fight on Harry Potter’s side, or on the other side, or not returning at all.

In your story, you keep him as enigmatic as ever, pretending to co-operate with Draco, but sitting in the back row of seats, wearing his Inquisitorial Squad badge only when necessary, and, along with Theodore Nott (Mr. Enigma #2), managing to avoid committing himself publicly to the Dark Mark. In his relationship with women, as in his relationship with Draco, he is focused on looking out only for himself.

So his campaign to get information from Ginny by romancing her arises from two impulses; the desire to keep Draco mollified, and his actual attraction to Ginny. But he overestimates himself and underestimates her, with completely amusing results.

One wonders why Draco, with all his emotional instability was made Head Boy instead of Blaise, who seemed to have much better self-control and objectivity. It was probably because of Draco’s whole-hearted allegiance to the Dark side, and Blaise’s persistent refusal to commit himself. We have heard from Jo Rowling in an interview that some unnamed Slytherins did come back to the battle along with Professor Slughorn and Charlie Weasley, but exactly which ones did so is a matter of speculation. I wonder if they included Blaise and Theodore.

One wonders, also exactly what the administration of the school hoped to accomplish by having all those posters printed, only to be torn down within the same day. It seems that the hi-jinks were simply amusing to the younger Slytherins rather than a trigger for indignation or retaliation. Only Draco and maybe Pansy were taking it seriously. And Crabbe’s and Goyle’s opinions don’t count.

This was an evocative glimpse into that shadowy, murky milieu of the 1997-1998 school year at Hogwarts. I enjoyed reading it. As always, thanks for writing.

Vicki

Author's Response:
Vicki

Thanks for the epic review, and apologies for the response being months late.

So far as I know, the sole bit of canon we have about Blaise is that Ginny thinks he’s a poser (according to Pansy). Pansy may be lying, but why would she? For some reason the few paragraphs of HBP in which he appears made me think that Blaise did fancy Ginny.

For some reason I can’t see any of the seventh year Slytherins fighting with Harry (except, possibly Tracey). I’ve written a few stories about Theodore, and I “know” more than I’ve revealed. This, however, is my first attempt at placing Blaise centre stage.

I’m sure that Voldemort, although he trusts Snape, would have appreciated a Death Eater as Head Boy. Also Draco was always Snape’s favourite. I really can’t see anyone else as Head Boy.

The posters were based on ones the Nazis used. I see them as being everywhere across the Wizarding world during “that shadowy, murky milieu” as you so nicely put it.

-N-

A great story, Nagini. You have really captured the confusion, thoughts, and feelings of the newly-ghosted. I especially like the contrast in personalities between Ghost Colin and Unnamed Teacher Ghost; it seems that they are, in ghost-hood, the same as they were in life It's too bad that she would not take his hand.

Author's Response: I was later reading all about Sir Nicholas and I found that he had mentioned he had chosen to stay as a ghost because he feared death too much. It is the same for our unnamed teacher, here: she can only focus on the fact that she is dead, and she is frightened of it. Colin, on the other hand, was not as frightened of it, so he was more likely to "move on." It makes me wonder if Voldemort, who fears death more than anything else, would stay as a ghost....His horcuxes that tied him to earth had certainly made him a lot like one. But what can you do as a ghost?