A 16-year-old Ravenclaw girl who is passionate about reading, music, and the beautiful things in life. She loves language, Vienna Teng, films, Doctor Who, and books of all descriptions, amidst a whole host of other things. It would make her very happy if you took a moment to browse her favorites. There may be quantity, but there is most definitely quality as well.
Growth. Beauty. Poison. Envy. Wealth... Read on as a handful of very different people's lives are complicated as they experience at least some aspects of the aforementioned greenery. Sort of accompaniment to "Red" of my Hogwarts Colours Quartet. Will get a revamp sometime soon...
This is very heavy stuff, much more intense than "Red," I think. Hopefully you'll update soon, but I can see that the plot is sort of stagnant at the moment (or at least that's the feeling I'm getting). Oh, and I put "Red" on my Favorites, so I'll be watching you! I take a lot of pride in my Favorites, it's rather embarrassing. Happy writing, rockinfaerie!
Author's Response: Yeah, it's a lot more intense, but I suppose it takes place at a different time, when the War has become a lot more overwhelming. Glad to hear you put Red into your favourites - very happy! I hope you enjoy the next installments of my writing - be sure to let me know what you think!
I'm very impressed with your work here. It is chilling and unique. I think that your writing style is very mature (I know that you are...17, isn't it?), but it seems that most people in fanfiction cannot pull off a serious story in a mature way. Not to offend anyone. I know of several talented writers! I love your (or rather Alice's) imagery and I'm off to go read "Green" and "Red" now!
Author's Response: Wow, thank you very much for your kind feedback! I thought the atmosphere of this fic was very important, as the protagonists don't quite know what is happening to them, and yet are caught in the middle of it. I do hope I conveyed it properly - and the imagery. I'm really pleased you liked it, and tell me what you think of the others!
Nice start. I love the last line; my guess is that Ginny only FEELS as if she has died, probably because Harry died for real. No I need to go and read the rest of your fic!
This is the most powerful fic I've read since "Promises" on fanfic.net, I think (see my bio). Eloquent, dark, poignant, fast-paced, excellently characterized. Not to mention the imagery. This was so uncliched(?) that it astounded me. Completely unique, but it still fits perfectly with the books and the characters as we know them. I'm gushing, I know....but I'm so impressed! And I'm not a person who will read just ANY fanfic, either. That ending was such a cliffhanger, even though we know what happens next, but I think it was a perfect ending to this story all the same. GOOD JOB! Wish you would write something else.
This is the most powerful fic I've read since "Promises" on fanfic.net, I think (see my bio). Eloquent, dark, poignant, fast-paced, excellently characterized. Not to mention the imagery. This was so uncliched(?) that it astounded me. Completely unique, but it still fits perfectly with the books and the characters as we know them. I'm gushing, I know....but I'm so impressed! And I'm not a person who will read just ANY fanfic, either. That ending was such a cliffhanger, even though we know what happens next, but I think it was a perfect ending to this story all the same. GOOD JOB! Wish you would write something else.
This is the most powerful fic I've read since "Promises" on fanfic.net, I think (see my bio). Eloquent, dark, poignant, fast-paced, excellently characterized. Not to mention the imagery. This was so uncliched(?) that it astounded me. Completely unique, but it still fits perfectly with the books and the characters as we know them. I'm gushing, I know....but I'm so impressed! And I'm not a person who will read just ANY fanfic, either. That ending was such a cliffhanger, even though we know what happens next, but I think it was a perfect ending to this story all the same. GOOD JOB! Wish you would write something else.
BC, I’m just stunned.
Your characterization of the Marauders is, hands down, the best I’ve seen outside of canon. Remus is so melancholy and troubled that he makes me want to hug him, and has remarkable depth. His reaction to Sirius’s bullying of Snape is just great; I like how he was quietly troubled, but tried to convince himself that it wasn’t anything to get upset about. And then there’s his crush on Lily—I think it’s both plausible and sweet, and look forward to seeing where it goes.
James, Sirius, and Peter are equally wonderful. James is the perfect combination of good humor and cockiness, as well as showing himself to be a good friend. I thought that it was particularly insightful of you to show Sirius losing his temper so suddenly in the very first chapter; it unflinchingly shows his bad side. But Peter is the most exceptional by far. You’ve transformed him from the forgotten Marauder into a true friend. He cracks jokes, he sympathizes, but he still has that shady undertone, just barely there. It’s a great accomplishment.
The interaction is lovely. The scene where they’re mock fighting was so great—it’s light-hearted and is so obviously male bonding that it made me grin. The humor of this fic is very nice, especially Sirius’s “wooing” of the new professor; I actually laughed aloud at that. The dialogue is also perfect, suitably relaxed and informal for their maturity levels. All in all, you’ve succeeded in portraying exactly what the Marauders are—young boys.
When I set out to write this review I had the most terrible time, because there’s so much to compliment and very little to criticize. In fact, there’s nothing. I truly did try to search for some weakness, but your flawless grammar and characterizations, and well as the pleasant style (which has equal parts wonderful description and compelling action), make this fic as perfect as any I have found. This might not be a true SPEW review, but you deserve the unadulterated praise. ;) Only…write more! Soon.
Author's Response: Thank you so much, you have no idea how much I appreciate this review! I don\'t even know what to say; I\'m just sitting here grinning. :) I\'ve been having a hard time with my latest chapter, so your praise is very timely and gratefully received, especially because it addresses the things I\'ve been having trouble with. But you\'ve motivated me to work through it. :) I\'m so glad you\'ve liked the story so far, and I will endeavor to keep it up!
Yay for updates!
Again, your writing is just wonderful. The flow is excellent, as is the description. The image of the “dark red line of blood” leading up to Sirius-as-a-dog was chilling, and I experienced the rest of that scene very vividly. I could clearly see in my mind’s eye Remus realizing with horror what had happened, and then lurching into action. Your chapter title is very appropriate; the morning sun illuminated what had occurred during the night.
I’m still in love with your characterizations. They’re so well-rounded and down-to-earth, unlike any other Marauder fic that I’ve read. Sirius is Sirius, stubborn and loyal and prone to blowing up. “Because I was fine,” Sirius said obstinately. “I am fine.” *snorts fondly* Just a few line after that, though, this line really true, and made me a little mushy. “Sirius was silent for a moment. Finally, he said, “I didn't want to leave you. You would have done this to yourself if I weren't there.” You do such a good job with him, showing all the aspects of his personality, but it doesn’t seem at all contrived, just very natural and casual. *shakes head* I don’t know how you do this, to be frank.
Not to mention the humor. “Drinking before breakfast? Remus Lupin, you're a bad influence.” *lol*
With James, I swear that I heard his lines in my head with Harry’s voice saying them. o.O (That’s a good thing, by the way.) He’s just great: concerned about his friends, obsessed about Quidditch…vain. Funny, too. “A few?” James said incredulously. “You look like a jigsaw puzzle!” But again, it’s all in moderation, which is a rare thing.
Peter’s role continues to be pitch perfect. He fits in with the Marauders with his humor and general good-nature. I liked how he showed his bravery by sneaking in to get Sirius the potion, but his bad side is also visible, if barely, as it should be; his nasty attitude toward Severus is a glimpse of that.
I love your Remus. I thought it was interesting, how he lost his temper at Sirius, because it shows that he feels very strongly even if he doesn’t let it show much. “Would you bloody well look at yourself?” Remus shouted, throwing his robe down in frustration. “I almost tore you apart! How could you let me do this to you?” I felt quite sorry for him right there, and later when he was forced to be practical. “He’d gotten caught up in his friends’ excitement and let them convince him that they would be safe, but in the harsh reality of morning, the truth was clear.” You know, I think this relates to how he approached his relationship with Tonks. He’s so afraid of the people that he’s close to be hurt by his lycanthropy that he pushes them away. I wonder if that will prove to be an obstacle in his relationship with Lily, besides the one that James presents.
I found one little thing to criticize:
“As they trudged back through the tunnel to Hogwarts, both moving rather more slowly than they had the day before, Remus observed Sirius’s uneven gait with a heavy mind.” “Heart makes more sense than “mind” in this instance.
Great, great work; keep it up!
Author's Response: *loves* Thank you so much for the wonderful review! I\'m all sorts of flattered. :) I\'m glad you like Sirius\'s portrayal; I have so much fun with him that I think I let him overshadow the others sometimes. And I\'m really pleased that you commented on Remus\'s outburst in the Shack! His temper is so mild compared to his friends\' that I was afraid the intensity of his anger and feelings of betrayal wouldn\'t come through. I felt it was an important moment, so I\'m glad it stood out to you. :D And I also love that you saw Harry in James, because he\'s still my trickiest character to pin down. I agree with your critique, too... \"heavy mind\" isn\'t exactly right, but I want it to be a bit more logical and less emotional than \"heavy heart.\" Well, I\'ll think on that. :) Thank you again!
Billie, where are you?!? I've noticed that you've been updating on PhoenixSong; are you waiting to get caught up with your updating on other sites to continue? That's just mean if you are. At least I know that your not dead, though. There's still hope.
Author's Response: Ummm, I think I\'m here *checks self*. Yes. I\'m here. I am updating at PS with my new beta. I\'m revamping the story - think of the story side of my brain looking like a construction zone right now. But I am going to finish this darn thing if it kills me before the publication of book 7. I\'m currently wrapped up writting for PR which is why I\'ve been neglectful (that and the fact that jumping the mental hurtles for the revision of this story is an easy thing to put off). Let me extend my sincere apologies. I\'m sooooo sorry, but I will be returning to this story.
Drama, drama, drama! I just rediscovered your fic and I can't for the life of me figure why I didn't love it the first time. Something wierd happened to me while I was reading though. I thought that the first line said that Dobby WAS the Minister of Magic. Frightening moment to say the least. And the scene with Ron and Hermione last chpater was almost painful to read. I was half expecting Dumbledore to say something embarrassing to them. It's really difficult for me to read embarrassing scenes (not that I dislike them, though!). Well, I'm off to read the rest of the chapters. UPDATE!!!!!!! Please? I'm adding this to my favorites.
Author's Response: Well, my writing might be something that is an acquired taste then (like brussel sprouts, lima beans, or boiled liver perhaps? LOL!). I shudder to think what would happen to the wizarding world (and Harry) if Dobby was made MoM. Somehow, I imagine mis-matched socks, tea cozies, and round spectacles might become standard Ministry attire. If you were experiencing sympathy embarassment while reading that scene, then I'll take that as a compliment. :) I'm glad you grabbed seconds on the story and gave it another try! Thanks for your review.
This is very tragic.
Author's Response: Yes, it is. I can\'t find my glasses either. *searches blindly*
Hmmm...definitley fluffy. But very funny and decently written, so I applaud you! The only thing would question would be Lily becoming seeker, if that is being implied (though I'm inclined to think that you're implying that she was considering James, not becoming seeker). Then McGonagall would say Harry was like his mother instead of his father when she busts him in SS/PS. Of course, James might just have been better either way...ouch, my head hurts. I'll shut up.
Author's Response: Yeah, you\'re right. My intention was more her considering James. I don\'t believe Lily was ever a seeker, really. James was enough of a quidditch-maniac in that relationship. ;) Thanks for reviewing!
Again, another excellent character is introduced...*sigh* I'm telling you, it's making me downright depressed to see all this talent! I'm really happy that you included the information about Mars; I always thought that it was a genius touch by JKR. I mean, I read it and I was like "Voldemort alert!" Say, how long do you predict this thing is going to be? I'm hoping it'll be long!
Author's Response: Ah yes, dear old Firenze! I really loved putting him in (but don't get depressed, just enjoy reading it!) - I think he's a very important sideline character, and he knows what the future holds for James et al - just like us! I actually don't know how long Red will be - I hope not too long, but there is a lot of stuff I want to put into it. I'll probably accellerate the timeline soon, and then it can move quicker. I imagine it is going to be long, though!
If I'm not very much mistaken, James and co. are not going to have some very pleasant visitors...but we'll see! Yes, yes, Slughorn was lovely and I loved the way you chose to write the particulars of this scene...it's EXACTLY the way I imagine that the faculty would interact. The story about Norway made me a touch teary-eyed because I'm sorely missing dear old Dumbles. I really adored it! Although, the impression that I got from the scene in HBP where we first meet Slughorn was that he was younger than Dumbledore. This is your story, so if this is the way you wanted it, disregard what I said!
Author's Response: Glad you liked the faculty - I love Sluggy! I'm sorry if I made you miss Dumbledore, but right here he has at least another twenty years left, so you needn't worry - I like the idea of him going off to Norway though, don't know why! As for the relationship between him and Sluggy... I don't know, I just presumed that they were very old friends, and thought it would be nice to make them school friends (Sluggy's long been retired at the beginning of HBP, so I'd say he's quite old), though it's plausible that he's younger than him, too. Anyway, I just decided to do this to make the dialogue more interesting!
That was SO romantic, without any kissing or the like happening! Amazing! I recall that I liked "your" Godric's Hollow much more than any I've read before. It just felt right. The comment about Sirius always being able to find the humor in a situation was interesting, to say the least. Is that your idea as to why he was laughing as he was arrested? Well, now I have some food for thought. There was a technical error in this chap. After the line "It's detrimental to your health, and she won't like the taste of it," there was no ending quote. Sorry. Well...I'm all caught up! [GreyLady does happy dance] Now I'll have to wait with everyone else for the next chap!
Author's Response: Thank you! Yes, the romance... I was afraid at first that it wouldn't work properly, so I'm really happy you liked it. I loved writing the bit about Godric's Hollow - it's on a moor, because it mentions in one of the books that Godric Gryffindor was from a wild moor, so that's how I described it! The comment about Sirius being able to find hilarity in the world ending was definitely linked to his arrest. I thought it would be interesting to make the two characters who Sirius is wrongly convicted of murdering discuss this, although that thought is a bit grim at this point in the fic... I put in that inverted comma - I hate when I make mistakes, but I've rectified it now, so it's all good! I hope you enjoy the next chapter!
I decided that it was about time that I review. I absolutely love your writing style, I can now confess. You do equally well with dialogue and narration, something which I admire. Your characterizations are brilliant, both precise and vivid. I was struck by your semi-metaphor, "the emotion trailed thorugh her make-up" or something close to that. It was inspired! Oh, yes, there was a little technical error. You had James' mother speak of Albert as a "her." Sorry. And a few chaps ago, I recall enjoying your portrayal of Minerva, though I now think that it has nothing on this one! Well, off to continue my read!
Author's Response: Thank you! I appreciate your thoughts on the dialogue in particular, as I really enjoy writing it - often it's discouraged in general, but I like to make the most of it - as it can give an in-depth view of a character in a matter of moments, rather than simply narrating it. Glad you like the description too - just reading this review and reminding me of what I wrote - those chapters seem ages ago! I'm sorry about the mistakes - I'll go back and edit them (I hate when I make mistakes!). Enjoy the rest!
This just gets better...I found your portrayal of prejudice very profound and truthful. It starts with jokes, with ignorance, but turns into something far more sinister. This fic seems old to me, in terms of vibes. Do you know what I mean? It has a historical feel to it, there is no doubt. Oh, and I thought your image of Mr. Black being shorter than Mrs. Black was very clever. Was it intentional?
Author's Response: Yep, Mrs Black being taller than her husband was most definitely intentional. She has the superior power in their relationship, I think - so I symbolised that with height. Mrs Black likes to look down on everyone, her husband included.
Yeah, this chapter of the fic proably seems a bit old-fashioned (is that what you meant?) - but I'd say that's because here, the adults are trying to cling to a world that is rapidly vanishing - they have all these ideals that many of the future generation doesn't necessarily uphold (whether the adults realise or not), and even their socialising has become rare due to the War. The adults are trying to cling to and relive their past lives because they don't wish to think about the future; they don't know what place it will hold for them, and secretly, this frightens them.
I suppose I did think historically when writing this part of the fic, thinking about people's attitudes before the second and first world wars - particularly in Europe, and basing their fears on a very conservative, and as you said, sinister, "class" ideology. Glad you found that the portrayal of their prejudices were effective and realistic - I was aiming for that.
Anyway, thank you for your reviews so far - they've been great to read. Let me know what you think of the rest of it!
Author's Response: Wait - I just re-read the piece of this fic that you're talking about, and now I think I know what you mean. These parts I'd say are heavily influenced by Jane Austen's writing. That might explain why it seems rather old!
You know, I'm rather glum after reading this...it makes me feel so jealous! I'm such an average writer, I despair of ever being able to rise to the level of all the great authors on FF sites! Ok, pity party over. Loved the reference to the Yeats poem in one of the previous chaps. I also think that grief is shown very realistically in this fic. In lots of other fics, when a character close to the central characters dies, they seem to be attemting to die as well. Stopping eating, sleeping, looking for love...but it just isn't like that in real life. People do move on, eventually. Albert is a nice way of bridging the gap, as it were. I'll freely admit, however, that I find guilty pleasure in angsty stuff, can't get enough of it! Now I'm just becoming loquacious, so I'll shut up and continue this intriguing read!
Author's Response: I'm surprised that you'd feel jealous - your reviews are so eloquent that I assume you have a great deal of talent for writing! Don't feel glum! Anyway, I'm really happy you liked this chapter - and the Yeats poem - I loved it when I read it, and felt I had to put it in... I was hoping to portray the grief realistically - but I didn't want it to overwhelm the story, and I agree - what you described is very exaggerated. Glad you like the angstyness - and you weren't being too talkative at all - I really appreciate long reviews!
This is just gonna be a quick note, sorry! I just would like to say that I appreciate that you could show Peter as a likable person, but still have that sense that he is easily duped and influenced. You mentioned that Sirius could not fit through the Whomping Willow in his Animagus form, but he could in PoA. Are you just assuming that because he was drastically skinnier?
Author's Response: Glad you like Peter - I hate when he's shown to be the "loser," or even the treachorous one of the group so early on in his life! Because I believe that there are plenty of people like him out there - who are easily influenced by others, and who do things for their own benefit, etc. As for Sirius - I did not notice that when I wrote it (sorry!). Let's just say it's because he was drastically skinnier... I try to remain in canon, but I recall wanting to get them out in their human forms, for some reason, and probably concocted an explanation on the spot!