11/20/05
http://bornofstars.livejournal.com/profile
A 16-year-old Ravenclaw girl who is passionate about reading, music, and the beautiful things in life. She loves language, Vienna Teng, films, Doctor Who, and books of all descriptions, amidst a whole host of other things. It would make her very happy if you took a moment to browse her favorites. There may be quantity, but there is most definitely quality as well.
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Take My Heart Away by Hatusu
Rated: 6th-7th Years •
Summary: Hermione goes back in time with one mission: to kill Tom Riddle before he ever comes to power. A difficult task, correct? An impossible one, she realizes, as a love between them grows stronger than anything she has ever known. Now Hermione has a choice to make. Will she condemn the Wizarding world to almost certain destruction, or will she take the life of the one boy she has ever loved?
Date: 02/25/06 Title: Chapter 4: Of All People
OoOk. This review will make more sense, I promise. I noticed in the first chap that you had some tense discrepancies, as well as a possible grammar error. Instead of an "expression of earnesty," I think it would flow better to say, "such an earnest expression." Another possible error I found was in either chap 2 or 3 when you said, "couldn't miss it at all." It is sorta a double negative to say that. It might sound better to write "couldn't miss it" and leave it at that. Now, onto things non-technical. Hermione seems a bit off. I mean, she swore, forgot that Dumbledore wouldn't be headmaster, and didn't think twice when her schedule had classes she wouldn't have picked. I suppose she's just stressed because Harry just was murdered and she has to become a murderess, though. This brings me to a few other thoughts I had. How does she know that Dippet was the Headmaster? I don't recall Harry telling her. And what about the candy passwords? That's something we find out soley through Harry in canon. And why didn't she question when the professors never asked her what classes she would like to take? Just some thoughts. I grinned a bit after reading Dumbledore's reasoning behind putting Tom and Hermione in all the same classes. Classic Dumbledore. But I've never been much of a fan of the idea that Heads had their own dormitory. Percy never seemed to have one when he was Head Boy, and I'm a supporter of sticking to canon as closely as possible. I'll wrap this up now. Like Hermione's new name and I can't believe that she hasn't realized that she could use a potion to kill Tom. I felt the same strangeness Hermione did when she sat next to Tom and thought "I'm sitting next to Lord Voldemort." Great job, and keep it up! I'm putting this on my favorites!
Author's Response: Thanks for catching all those grammar errors, I really appreciate feedback about sentence flow and that kind of thing. Hermione's characterization in this story has always gotten mixed reviews. People tend to say "You're so right on with her character, I love it" or "What are you thinking this isn't Hermione at all."
I don't really know why the extreme reviews(maybe she's inconsistent?), but Hermione definitely isn't the strongest written character in this story.
She knows Dippet is Headmaster because she has read Hogwarts a History (of course!). I'm sure Hermione has gone into Dumbledore's office at least once in her time at Hogwarts (for Prefect duties or something) so its likely that she's heard at least one of his famous candy passwords.
I skipped over some of Hermione's registering process for the school because I thought it would be boring, but there was a mention of some tests Dippet made her preform to assess her strengths/weaknesses in magic, so that gave them a good idea of what classes she belonged in. Of course Dumbledore completely ignored that in favor of scheming, but like you said, classic Dumbledore.
Ah, the Head Boy/Girl dormitories... one of those fanon cliches I just love to death. :D
I'm glad you're liking the story, thanks for such a great review. ;D
Git in Shining Armor by juniorauthor
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: Ronald Weasley struggles with his teaspoon's worth of emotions during Hermione's stay at the Burrow summer after fifth year. With the Twins succumbing the household to spontaneous product trials, and a new Minister of Magic, one would think that Hermione's Bulgarian pen pal would be the least of Ron's problems.
And that would be what one would get for thinking.
Surprises abound (the Good and the Bad) assure the Weasleys and their house guest this will be a summer all but one of them will never forget.
Final chapter is in queue. Wow, that took forever, didn't it?
Date: 02/23/06 Title: Chapter 1: Burrow Goings On
OMG. I just saw the warning for your story. Are you going to resurrect Dumbles? I will love you forever if you do, juniorauthor! No pressure or anything, though. None whatsoever. Famous last words...
Author's Response: Umm, I just chose that because this is taking place BEFORE the sixth book--the summer after fifth year. Did I not use the correct warning? Maybe it should be AU... Yeah...
Date: 04/02/06 Title: Chapter 10: Out of the Fireplace and Into the Fire
YEAHHH! This is the fastest update so far, I think. I have no clue about what could be on/in Viktor's hand. I'm stumped, but that makes me want the next chap even more. I was glad to see the return of Elma; I really do like her. Congrats on a great chap!
Author's Response: Thanks once again, GreyLady! Elma's such a sweety, isn't she?
Date: 12/28/05 Title: Chapter 6: Just a Little Less Than Charming
Yessss! I KNEW there was something odd about Viktor! *does victory dance* I can't think of another positive adjective to use to show my appreciation for your story. I'm all out. So just look at the other reviews! I liked Ginny's "married couple" joke, because I have some experience with it. I have two friends who like each other and they are always fighting, even in class, so a teacher once told them that they "fought like a married couple." You should have seen they're faces! Poor things.
Author's Response: Thanks again, and for all your reviews! Ha! That's funny--being told that by a friend is one thing, but a teacher! Goodness....Bet they were red...
Date: 03/08/06 Title: Chapter 9: Just When You Thought Things Couldn't Get Worse
NANANANA BOO BOO! I got first review! Thank you so much for updating, junior author! And you've finally reached the climax, too...fancy that! Just a random conclusion....does Mrs. Weasley have MORNING SICKNESS? The family's big enough as it is! Love your ending :) 10!
Author's Response: Morning sickness? Whatever do you mean? *shifty eyes* The climax, at last. *sniffle* So close to the end... Yay! A 10!!!
Author's Response: Morning sickness? Whatever do you mean? *shifty eyes* The climax, at last. *sniffle* So close to the end... Yay! A 10!!!
Date: 12/28/05 Title: Chapter 6: Just a Little Less Than Charming
I know I already reviewed, but I have just read your profile, and would like to say that you sound freakishly like me. I'm not going to list the similarities, they are so numerous. That is all.
Author's Response: Do-do doodoo! Do-do doodoo! *crickets chirping, awkward silence* Get it? The Twilight Zone...theme song.... Because it's... weird...? Yeah... :-) Freaky, though.
Date: 01/22/06 Title: Chapter 7: Textbooks and Swollen Tongues
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THHANK YOU! I'm really proud of myself as well: I didn't harass you during the wait....well, not too much. Your "excerpts" were brilliant and seemed like exactly the sort of thing that Jo would put in HP, and I get the impression that you put a lot of effort into them. Perfectly in character, witty dialogue, lots of fun.....what else can I say that I haven't said before?!? You always deliver! Oh yes, I wanted to tell you that you don't have to thank me for reviewing because it's one of the things that like to do. I rather disappointed that I didn't have the first review, but it t'was for a good reason! I went out with my auntie and my mother for my birthday! Glad to hear that you will not abandon this story and HURRY HURRY HURRY! Byebye.
Author's Response: Well, if I can't thank you, what can I say?!? I'm flattered, really. No lie. You're reviews always make me smile, and give me a great confidence boost!
Date: 06/12/06 Title: Chapter 11: Blood, Sweat, and Tears
*looks dumbstruck* I--er--didn't expect that. It was a wonderful suprise though, because my internet has been down for a week, so I've spent that week with a mad look in my eyes as I've suffered from computer withdrawal. How ironic that Ron was actually right about Viktor while the Boy Who Lived, Harry Potter, was wrong about Sirius. I'm looking forward to the epilogue for sure (you have a lot to wrap up
Date: 06/12/06 Title: Chapter 11: Blood, Sweat, and Tears
Errr..I wasn't finished. *sheepish grin* Sorry. I submitted it by accident. I was saying, you have a lot to wrap up, missy! Ok, now I'm done.
Date: 02/15/06 Title: Chapter 8: Feeling Krummy
That dream scared me out of my wits! You had me going-again. Ron is so WONDERFUL! I don't know how you do it. Everyone else either shows him as some unrealistic lady's man or a complete idiot. I've been waiting a long time for this chap and I have not been disappointed. It really astounds me that your writing style is so similar to JKR's. You often make situations funny by a simple word choice. I salute you, my friend! And Hermione; I'm sorry, but I thought she was really funny, even though Ron was hurt by it. I need to go and read some papers about time travel for school (ick), so I must go. By the way, how many chaps are you planning on?
Author's Response: Thanks very much, GreyLady, and I'm very happy you think Ron is in character. In the movies, even, he's usually an idiot; mostly because someone steals his accidentally-brilliant lines. Ooh, my style similar to J.K? You're too kind, my friend. Time travel, for school? You guys aren't keeping a Time-Turner proto-type, are you? How many chapters? Oh, I know a while ago I said three more, but me being me and liking to drag out the chapters...umm... Haha, three or four, I think(but again, don't hold me to it!). I just can't bring myself to mush everything together!
Date: 01/07/06 Title: Chapter 6: Just a Little Less Than Charming
WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO UPDATE!!!! YOU HAVEN'T UPDATED FOR.....ok, only 4 days, but it feels like a month. I have this irrational fear that you're going to abandon this fic. Please say something to put my mind at ease....although, if my fear is indeed irrational, that might not work.....
Author's Response: I assure you, I shall not abandon this fic. I'm eager to finish it, and already have an idea for a sequel in mind(actually, its not really a sequal, more ike a...same-quel, but more on that when the end is closer!)
Date: 12/28/05 Title: Chapter 1: Burrow Goings On
Wonderful title and first chap! This is really funny without making it seem like you're trying too much. And you really had me going there when Arthur was talking about the new minister of magic; I thought he was talking about himself! It is also nice to read a fic with a lots and lots of dialogue. Oh yes, I also wanted to say that everyone is remarkably in character!
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I like fics with lots of dialogue, too. Description is nice, but if that's all you do, it gets a bit boring. But then, most things about writing are circumstantial.... Glad you liked it!
Date: 12/28/05 Title: Chapter 2: Confusion 'n a Tin Box
Just like JKR*sighs happily* You really like to mess with minds, though, don't you? I thought Mrs. Weasley was talkin about that too! And I have one question: It doesn't seem like Ron would forget Pansy's name, even if he actually is a little thick, lol. Was he just pretending for dramatic effect?
Author's Response: Hee! Trouble is, I sometimes get myself confused and end up rewriting a chapter! Ah well. Yeah, Ron was just goofing off, being dramatic. He is Fred and George's brother, after all.
Date: 12/28/05 Title: Chapter 3: Bogies and Orderly Lessons
Again, hysterical. And BOGIES! Fred and George. What will we do with them?
Date: 12/28/05 Title: Chapter 4: Sundry Intentions
Awww! Ronnie's jealous! Don't stop writing, I beg of you!
Date: 12/28/05 Title: Chapter 5: Sugar, Spice, and Things Not So Nice
Lovely, once again! This fic makes me dance aound the computer room with joy! Elma is the best minor OC I have yet to find. She's so very entertaining. I want your talent, seriously! There actually is one thing that I was unsure of though. Is Victor meant to be OOC for your plot? Like a Death Eater in disguise or something? Because he seemed a little OOC to me. Sorry. But I still love this fic!
Author's Response: Thanks. Yeah, Viktor might have been a little OoC, but naturally so. I tried to make him seem a bit awkward (*coughsecretivecough*), and that isn't like his usual, self-assured, er, self. It should make sense in a few chapters...at least I hope so.
Date: 02/26/06 Title: None
That was absolutely breathtaking. You've captured Lupin's character wonderfully and I found the flashback to be very profound. Isn't that odd? Your title is great and the ending was so very bittersweet that I had a very near miss with a bout of tears. 10!
The Seekers by Cassie Payne
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: What happens AFTER they climb out of the portrait hole?
Funny, but he had never thought of using the Invisibility Cloak in his schemes to woo Ginny.
Date: 03/14/06 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter Twenty Four and 1/2
That was very pleasant. Hmm, that sounded bad. Really, though. It's extremely well-written and in character and even funny....it's just that it's an unexceptional plot. That's all right though, because it's meant to be a missing moment. You know, I think that JKR left this open because she probably would have been criticized for writing anything beyond a simple kiss. Not by us (loyal fans), but by those who see her as a children's writer and would be offended. Urghh, I think I'll just shut up now. Everyone is saying that they miss Dumbledore, but I'm really grieving for him. I can't think straight.....but that was going on before he ever died, lol. You're a promising new fanfic author and keep up the good work!
Author's Response: The missing moments are hard to plot without stepping outside of canon - we all know what happens next. But thank you for the kind words.
Missing Scenes by MoonysMistress
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: In every story, there are missing scenes: smaller stories that don't make it into the main plot, but that subconsciously happen all the same. Harry Potter is no different — behind the scenes were the makings of a love that surprised us all.
Date: 06/08/06 Title: Chapter 8: Bonus Epilogue!: Bill and Fleur's Wedding
Thank you! I second the call for a sequel! This was just great. "And so they frittered." Verrry funny. I'm not too fond of the idea of Celestina Warbeck singing, for some reason....anyway, this was a nice suprise.
Date: 03/01/06 Title: Chapter 6: The Moment to Discuss It
Absolutely gorgeous! I had to put you on my Favorites after reading only a couple chaps! Your characterizations are spot-on (except for DD in one chap, but that first conversation between him and Tonks was perfect). The first paragraph, or line, or whatever it happens to be of every chap are all lovely hooks. There were so many superb quotes as well; I particularly recall the one where Tonks says that Lupin is taking her spirit. Sorry that I can't remember the rest that I loved! I think all your "missing moments" fit wonderfully in the context of HBP or OotP as well. I really don't think that anything in this story so far is cheesy or even fluffy; don't know WHAT you're thinking! The only aspect of the fic that I have some qualms about is the rather awkward and sudden transition between chaps (if my memory serves me correctly) 5 and 6. I think it might have flowed more smoothly if you had started chap 6(?) where Tonks gets the news that there's trouble at Hogwarts (unless she's already there) and proceed on to the Hospital Wing scene. The only problem is that it might drag on a bit that way. *sigh* Can't win, can you? Please update, my dear author! P.S. Can't believe you have this quality of a fic without a beta and loved the subtle Harry/Ginny hints!