I actually also really liked this story - although the whole "Hermione wears makeup now" thing always bothers me .. but that's just because I'm a canon freak. Anyways, I'm really excited to see the next chapter! Great work!

Author's Response: Thanks for being one of the first to respond! It's funny because I've just left a review for your fic as well. And I do get what you mean about the makeup, so I tried to downplay it a little. But I admit that I do enjoy a little face-painting now and then so I had to add it in.

I loved this, it made me smile so much! It was very witty and enjoyable. Godd idea too, with the passing of Valentines back and forth for work. 10/10

Author's Response: I like making people smile, so thanks for letting me know I\'m doing my job. Thanks!

This was beautifully written, I must say. You have a daring style that isn’t afraid to go into details and speak through things other than the obvious. It’s captivating, your writing.

Anyway, onto to random problems I had.

Are you all right, Dumbledore asks.

I believe that you should have a question mark there, not a comma. If I’m wrong, forgive me. But I found it odd.

Later he will think, bitterly, that he should have known; he will think that it was obvious from the very beginning that Sirius Black was no good, no good at all, that James Potter was a fool - but such a brave, brave fool - for trusting him; now, he tries to reconcile the laughing friend he remembers with the murderer who is.

I do like this part, but something seems wrong to me concerning how you word the part about James being a fool. It seems like it would flow better if the part about Sirius being no good ended with a period instead of a comma, and then went on to say “He will think that James Potter was a fool -”. This is just personal preference, though.

And on to things I liked.

I'm fine, he answers, eyes fixed on the eddies in the carpet on his living-room floor. They both know he is lying, but by unspoken, gentlemanly, dignified agreement, they both pretend he is telling the truth.

I adore the way you say this, because it has such truth behind it. The truth is that everybody at one point in time says that they are fine when they are not, and it’s usually at an immense time of need. And the other person almost always knows they are lying, but goes on in agreeing silence anyways.

He stands in the black clawed shadow of the old oak tree waiting for the abdication of all thought, and is still striving for blankness when his feet of their own accord walk him home.

Once again, your ability to take everyday truths and put them into your writing in an eloquent matter is alarmingly beautiful. The way that you describe the oak tree’s shadow as clawed makes the scene seem dark and unhappy, a reflection of Remus’s thoughts and emotions. And the bit about the feet walking home on their own accord is masterful. Yet another hint of Remus being too absorbed in his own thoughts and memories to realize the fact that he is walking. This is something that happens to me often.

In the afternoon, he looks at the newspaper again. Half the page is covered with a picture of Sirius laughing, and although he cannot hear the sound, he knows what it will sound like - a harsh, clashing, grating, horribly mirthless laugh that bounces and echoes and clashes and hurts. Sirius laughed like that, always laughed when he did not know what to do, laughed when something in his life was being destroyed, always laughed because he did not know how to cry.

The way that you describe the laughter and the way that Sirius always laughed when he didn’t know what to do is amazing. When I read this part I could hear the laughter and I could see his photograph laughing pointlessly in the paper. I am so jealous of your abilities to capture the imagination. It is thrilling!

This was amazing. When I first started reading, I was sceptical I admit. I was worried that you were just going to have Hermione give in and they would kiss "passionately as she stared into his grey eyes" and ... well ... I hate those stories. But you didn't do that! You changed it up and made me wonder if she actually was going to forgive him! And the way that she was so bitter about him interrupting her lattes, only to realize that she was waiting for him to show up. T'was brilliant! I also really liked the way you had him behave, He was devilishly charming and made me smile. Normally I don't go for D/Hr - but this is a 10 out of 10! Great job!

Author's Response: Thank you! I understand your scepticism - a lot of stories end up like that. I'm happy you thought mine wasn't like one of those. I'm glad it made you wonder if she would forgive him or not and that you liked the realisation that she was actually waiting for him to show up. Thanks! And I'm glad he made you smile! You made ME smile with this kind review. That you don't normally like D/Hr fics makes it even more rewarding.

I was sorely missing your writing, what with "Symphony For Quartet" finished, so I searched for you and found this story. I feel as though something has been quenched inside - I honestly missed your style so much.

And, well, because I'm trying to become a member of SPEW, (an organization on the forums dedicated to giving helpful reviews) I really ought to put some constructive critisism in here, just to be helpful. And, well, I noticed that at the beginning of this chapter, you start at least four paragraphs off with "The cat". It got kind of repetative after awhile. But other than that, it was all amazing.

My favorite part of this entire thing is how you keep it so suspenseful - how are you so good at that? I have so many questions, like why is Harry so different? Why can't he feel pain? What did he see in the forest, past the barrier? This is a very exciting, original plot, and I'm hooked for sure.

You had better continue this, I'm off to read the next two chapters. Amazing job, keep up the great work!

Noldo, I just realized I had yet to give you the second review I promised and went on a mad dash to find this one. Forgive me for the late reply.

I have finally realized what I don’t like about your fics; and this is that I can spend all day searching for some sort of nit-picky comment to give you in order to leave a more meaningful review, only to discover there is nothing wrong. Absolutely nothing. And I’m starting to think that you either have an amazing super-human power for creating perfect writing, or you edit everything a thousand times over before submitting it. Whichever it is, I’m in awe.

So, if I cannot find things wrong, I will find thing’s that are extraordinarily right.

Such as the way you have created this heaven. It’s such an original idea, so strange and yet … still so right. The way you make it seem like any other place: It is a clear, cool, morning on the outskirts of heaven, and he walks. You see that? That is such a cool way to describe heaven! You don’t normally imagine heaven with outskirts. Yet to you there is, and I like that.

I think my favourite part of this entire story is when Sirius meets Regulus, and he describes him as “eighteen forever”. The entire conversation shows so much more brotherly acceptance than I am used to when I see people put the two of them together. And the way that Sirius wishes he could stay forever, and his brother says “"Because." Regulus looks up, knowing. "Because this isn't it, for you, is it? This isn't what you wanted. Not all, I mean." I don’t know why I like that so much. I just do.

And then when Sirius finds James in heaven! And they get to sit and talk and just be. It’s so stirring, to imagine them finally getting to see each other, after so long.

And really, all I’m trying to say was that this was immensely good, and imaginative. And that you had better start making mistakes, Missy, because I feel weird being surrounded by all this perfection. Great job on this.

I really enjoyed this a lot. It's chillingly haunting, the way you presented it; I'm really quite impressed with how you pulled this off. Your detailed descriptions make this a really good read; one that makes it feel like I’m in a black and white movie watching the characters.

The way you showed the affects of the ring on a couple before Narcissa and Lucius was a really great idea. And watching May go from a kind young woman to an unsure, almost mentally-ill being was intriguing and almost cruel - though in a good way, being as what the ring does is supposed to come off as cruel. Even the way you captured Lucius at the beginning was enthralling. He spoke exactly how he would in the books - like a true Malfoy.

One thought I did have while reading this is just the question; why would Quentin have to kill May? Couldn't he just leave her? Obviously, for the purpose of the story, she needed to die. But it was still something I wondered about.

The description of the ring is beautiful - and it's side-affects, terrifying. The voice seemed to be innocent at first, slowly getting more demeaning and showing its intentions clearer as I read on. I think what really did this for me was the naming of the other woman who had died due to the ring, and then the way you end it with Lucius calling to her:

“Narcissa, darling,” the striking figure called up the sweeping staircase. “I have a present for you.”

A very nice first chapter, Purplemage. I like the way you introduce it, it has a very chill, eager feel to it, which goes along nicely with the purpose of the scene.

A couple things caught my eye and didn’t quite seem right though: The only thing lighting that somber and cold winter night were the lights of the city in the distance. This sentence is a little off because you say ‘thing’ as in singular and then ‘were’ as in plural. It would be better as: “The only things lighting that somber …”

The only other part that seemed off to me was this:“I bring the foreigner with me,”
Throughout the rest of the chapter, Katashi seems to speak English very well. So the fact that he says ‘bring’ instead of ‘brought’ destroys the well-spoken sternness he has had up until this point.

That aside, I thought you characters were very creative and well thought-out. I especially like the coldness you give Katashi and the gentle personality of Yuudai Inoue. Though I must admit I was a little confused by the ending when Yoshiro and Hanako kissed.

Overall, a very promising chapter. Your creativity is sure to do you loads of good in this fic, Purplemage. Good luck!

Well, I certainly got a bit teary while reading this. I thought this was a very good look at the experience of Remus transforming for the first time. It was awfully emotional, and I could feel myself biting my lip in anxiety as you described his cries coming from his bedroom. At some parts, I thought Remus sounded a bit too grown up. But at others, he was perfectly child-like. Thankfully, the two balanced out each other – though I would suggest that you watch out for making a younger character seem older than they really are next time.

Anyhow, why don’t I start out with some mistakes I noticed and then move on to the good stuff?

I vegan to feel new injuries now, not just the ones on my head and ankle. Nothing more than a small typo. The ‘v’ should be a ‘b’. I found a few of these little mistakes.

Bit I didn’t care to listen to the rest of the conversation. Another typo in the first word. Don’t you just hate it when your hand slips up on the keyboard? I know I do.

“I think I at lots of stuff I wasn’t supposed to…” Last typo I found. You simply forgot the ‘e’ at the end of ‘ate’. All very simple mistakes, really.

He hugged his teddy bear, named Bear and needing a new black button for his eye, tightly My last con-crit comment! Now, this was something a bit more than just a typo. I found this sentence unnaturally clumsy compared to your usual good structure throughout the chapter. It confused me and I had to re-read it a few times. I would suggest writing it as: “He hugged his teddy bear - who was named Bear and needed a new black button for his eye - tightly.

I was met with bulbous orange eyes, glowing with gleeful menace, and long, opalescent teeth. Hurrah, now I get to tell you about all the bits I liked! This section gave me horrible shivers. The entire passage here did, but I couldn’t very well paste the entire thing in here; so I picked this sentence because it had to most weight to it, for me. The atmosphere you set here is haunting, and I was actually getting kind of scared when I read it. It reminded me of some sketchy moments I’ve had with some wild animals around my home. The terror you describe is spot on.

Horribly, she thought, but out loud she said, “I don’t know honey. But it should be exciting! Being able to be a wolf for a whole night. Nobody else I know can do that!” I love this bit so much it’s almost hard to explain. It seems so real, what she says to him. It honestly represents a true mother trying to protect her son. The way she tries to make it sound exciting, as though he’s getting the chance of a lifetime. It’s not a flashy sentence or extremely descriptive – but it’s real. Nothing’s better than that.

“Mummy, it does hurt! Mummy, help me!” I think this is where I started getting watery eyed, but it could have even been when they were holding the wine glasses and she heard the first scream. I honestly felt so much pain for Remus at this part. I can’t even express the crazy little back-flips my heart was doing when his mother tried to go help him and her husband stopped her. It hurt. It really did.

“I killed Bear.” This is my absolute favorite part. Leave it to a child to go through such a painful ordeal and focus on what hurt they caused to others. You really capture the child-like innocence here, and it’s very powerful. I could hear and see Remus, sitting on the floor looking ashamed at what he had done. He killed Bear. He killed his friend. It was a brilliant way to sum up all the emotions he was feeling.

All in all, a very nice story. You have a wonderful talent at getting emotions across and making the reader feel like part of the story. If I were to offer you any suggestions for next time, it would be to be extra careful to watch for typo’s, as they can often distract the reader and take away from the story. Other than that, you did a very nice job on this. Good luck with all the rest of your projects!

My my, Beth. What a delicious little concoction you seem to be brewing up here. I can't say I've ever read one of your works before, but the title of this one was too good to pass up. I really do love a good title. Gets me all warm and fuzzy inside.

I've always liked prologues when they get done right. You wouldn't think people could mess up a prologue but I've seen it happen, somehow. Of course, yours has got me hooked. The beginning paragraph was no doubt my favorite. I adore the line where you say: 'And he knew this is what he lived for.' It really shows how deeply Voldemort must feel for his powerful status.

Being as this was such a short chapter, it was hard to find a whole lot to talk about. In the area of concrit, I was at a bit of a loss. I think the only point I would make is that I personally would have capitalized 'lord'. It just feels like it ought to be capitalized, seeing as Voldemort is 'the Dark Lord'.

Other than that, nothing to complain about. I think you did a wonderful job capturing readers with this (as I have found myself thoroughly captured), and I'm really liking the entire tone you're getting at. Plus, the idea of Voldemort taking History and trying to learn from it - possibly better what was attempted in the past - is really a neat idea.

Amazing job so far, dear. I'll be sure to keep up with this one.