01/23/06
I am old. Older than Jo. Not quite as old as Voldemort.
In fact, I am exactly Marauder-aged. Which might be why I don't read much Marauder-era. Can't compete with Lily....
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The Deathly Children by teh tarik
Rated: 6th-7th Years •Summary:
Date: 06/29/14 Title: Chapter 2: The Women in the Walls
"All things that are beyond him are useless."
How interesting. Of course we know Voldemort is like this. One wonders - are they just kindred souls, or did GG help shape him? I don't think so - V was evil enough when he went...
We know what Grindlewald did. We have some small idea of why he did it - but only a small idea, and we do not know why he was that way...
You have a very interesting take on exactly what happened to Ariana. That her father had to leave because of her does not affect her, or does she only think it does not? Why a wood-worked box? How accurate is her perception of herself? Any why do you have her getting worse?
I am very intrigued and want to see what you do with this.
Wood by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 6th-7th Years •
Summary: Marcus Flint, the infamous Super Seventh Captain of the Slytherin Quidditch team, blames repeating his final year at Hogwarts on Oliver Wood.
How, you might ask?
Well, wouldn't you like to know?
Date: 10/04/14 Title: Chapter 1: Dear Journal
Oh, it's marvelous!
Could Wood actually want the Quidditch cup that much? Yes. That Way? Well, what way is it, really - and I've never been a boy, so what do I know. Seems plausible, particularly if he's not attached to or pining for a particular actual female.
As for Marcus Flint - he seems exactly the sort of person to blame someone else for his problems of any sort - the way he blames Oliver is hilarious, but he is a bad bet as any sort of partner, sexual or otherwise, based on his inability to take any sort of responsibility for himself - or care that Jones now hates him for one or more of the many things which could be inferred from the story...
Good Job!
Ouroboros by Alice in Potterland
Rated: 6th-7th Years •Summary: Minerva McGonagall recounts her brief relationship with Tom Riddle, which began during their years at Hogwarts and ended with horrifying revelations.
Date: 07/01/14 Title: Chapter 1: Ouroboros
You have an interesting story here.
I've never read a fic in which Minerva is paired with Tom before (There may be others but I haven't read them.) The idea has lots of possibilities. I like that she's Quidditch Captain, I like that she notes his lack of excitement when sorted.
I think you did a good job of capturing Tom Riddle. While he's piercingly cold in canon, I can see him having, in his youth, used his and other people's bodies for pleasure, and in a rough, self-serving way.
I am not sure I can see him admitting to murder, and I am fairly certain he'd have killed anyone who knew, but Minerva does make a good point when she says he would know if she told.
I find Minerva less convincing. Iit's not her wild sexuality - I can see that.. It's this - Minerva McGonagall is a woman who seeths with righteousness in the face of evil, and I cannot imagine her keeping the secret of Tom having killed those Muggles.
I can imagine that she told someone, at least - Albus Dumbledore, perhaps, if she felt the Ministry wouldn't do anything - or I can see her becoming, over the years, twisted inside from not having told, but I cannot see her just keeping it quiet. To do so would be against everything I know about her..
It's a good story. If the woman was Minerva's friend, or her sister, or some other person we know less about, I could see it. I just can't see it with Minerva herself.
Oh, in the first paragraph - her body being full of wind... could be taken as a flatulance reference which is not what you are going for. Same sentence, Air might work better. You're going to lengths to describe her elation, so you probably don't want to distract your reader from that.
Overall the story has many good points. I'm just not personally convinced about Minerva keeping her mouth shut.
Tapestry by Equinox Chick
Rated: 1st-2nd Years • Summary: As Walburga Black stitches, Sirius rebels.
Two poems written about the infamous Black tapestry.
Date: 07/02/14 Title: Chapter 1: The Recalcitrant Child
I love the juxtaposition of his kicking while she stitched - from before the start, he was not with the program.
Rosettes staining weft - not sure it matters, but you are mixing your tapestries, I think. I am not that familiar with Needlepoint, but woven tapestries have a weft and a warp, but are not usually embroidered upon. It's usually one or the other. Then again, these are wizards and witches - if they are sewing, it is only because they want to - he was blasted off with a wand, after all...
"And I could not unpick each stitch
with my fine needle and dying
eyes, so fire scorched
away the shame."
This is excellent. It leaves a little ambiguity about why she could not unpick the stitches, and who exactly was singed.
"The threads were cut -as surely
ripped as the umbilicus"
I love these two lines. Are we ripping, or cutting, and a ripped umbilical chord either refers to birth, or to fetal death (I knew a woman whose child managed to unplug himself in her seventh month or so...) Is he recalcitrant because he ripped it, or for other reasons... and is it the physical chord or the familial tie - poetry should make you think, and this does get me thinking.
I am not certain it says exactly what you mean in each particular, but it certainly does convey something overall.
Author's Response: Uhm, not sure now. Basically, I thought cloth and canvas were comprised of weft threads and warp threads, so when Walburga pricks her finger the rosettes of blood stain the canvas that she's stitching into. She's not weaving the cloth but stitching into it (and pricking her thumb as she does so) I had this idea in a drabble I wrote that her pin pricks of blood are somehow what make the tapestry so powerful. I should expand that some day.
Sirius was just always a contrary child, and that means you go with it (in my opinion) because trying to change such 'recalcitrance' will never work.
TRhe ripped umbilicus, I sorta nicked from MacBeth and 'from my mother's womb untimely rip'd. Yeah, I know it was a c-section for MacDuff, but I liked the image that the cord wasn't cut cleanly cut or tied, but ripped raggedly.
Anyway, thank you for the review and I'm glad I made you think :) You've made me think - ha ha. ~Carole
Date: 07/02/14 Title: Chapter 2: Charred
"With fingertips as faint
as fairy wings, I trace
each fragmented filament,
yearning to press charred
holes back into
existence."
Charred threads, or holes? I love the lines, anyway.
"She is gone. And yet
the scream of her remains,"
This is so true of every person who has ever hurt another - they go, but the hurt remains...
Whose temper, whose tears? Did her tears rip, or push?
Very interesting to set these two side by side and show two sides of this painful and ghastly situation...
Author's Response: I pondered the charred holes bit because threads does make more sense (can a hole which is essentially nothing be charred?) but I'd used threads in the previous verse, so I stayed with holes.
The temper I would think is both Sirius and Walburga, the recalcitrance is Sirius and the tears are hers. I often wonder if she was far more upset than angry at how her son defied her, but then the pain turned to fury as she got older and madder.
Thank you :)
Date: 07/03/14 Title: Chapter 1: The Recalcitrant Child
Yes, all woven cloth is made of warp and weft threads - I never thought about that when I was doing embroidery, just when I was weaving so you have expanded my mind somewhat... Be proud, be very proud!
Now and Forever by Northumbrian
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: The centenary of the Battle of Hogwarts is less than a year away, and the Wizarding world continues to move forward. Modernisation requires change, and some things must be swept aside in the name of progress. Buildings can be demolished and statues, even statues of deceased heroes like Harry Potter, can be relocated. Can’t they?
Hubert Dalrymple has a problem.
Date: 07/14/14 Title: Chapter 1: Now and Forever
Excellent!
I totally agree that Harry's statue would refuse to stand anywhere that Harry thought unsuitable. That attachment between the little action figure and the statue is heartwarming, and the romance between Finnegan and Dalrymple is a nice and believable touch. It's all very well connected and wraps up neatly.
I do question everyone being dead only a hundred years after the battle - Wizards do seem to live longer than Muggles, unless they meet a bad end, and while I could easily imagine Luna finally running afoul of something that actually did exist, or one of George's creations running amok and killing everyone in the building, or a criminal he'd put away going after Harry, I find it hard to believe that all of them are gone by this point.
I don't think it's a story about Harry and Ginny, so much as it's a story about Harry, and everyone who knew him. But then, I don't really like Ginny, so that may be personal bias.
Author's Response:
Thank you.
The story evolved from the idea of a moving statue imbued with at least a part of Harry’s personality. Finnegan and Dalrymple grew and blossomed in the telling of this tale.
All of my stories take place in the same timeline, and I “know†that Harry was 101 when he died. He lasted a lot longer than his parents and grandparents.
I’m a big fan of Ginny, and the canon relationships. Perhaps I failed to bring Ginny to the fore, although with the interview and the collectable figurine, I tried.
-N-
A Seer Named Rosemary Snape by PlutoLovegood
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: In 2018 Neville and Harry deliver a Hogwarts acceptance letter to Rosemary Snape, beloved granddaughter of Severus’ previously unknown Muggle half-brother Sylvester Snape, who is dying of cancer. Rosemary’s connections to Professor Snape and a well-known wizarding family win her instant friends in the magical community, but also make her a target of an emerging new foe.
Date: 04/19/16 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: A Timely Arrival
I've read this straight through, so you are getting one review instead of six, mea culpa!
I like this brother of Severus, and how you have made him different, but with a clear family resemblance. I like the way Nick spoke of being a Squibb, and how believable you've made it that this girl is not only related to at least two wizarding families and by association to Harry as well, but how you are showing her own magical abilities.
I hope beyond hope that Sparkles has elf magic to help Grandpa Snape with.
Author's Response: I appreciate your comments very much! I admire Ms. Rowling's gift for creating interesting and likeable characters, and so in my own efforts I've started out by creating characters who would fit naturally into the Harry Potter universe, and then building the story based upon a scenario plausible for those characters. For example, Grampy Nick started out simply as a way to solve the question of how Rosie was a witch even though she's related to Severus Snape on the Muggle side, but as the story developed, he has become an integral part of the deepening mystery concerning the Scar-Maker/White Queen. Thanks for your interest, and I hope to present the next chapter soon!
Ersatz Excuses by chemicalflashes
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Orla Quirke was one strange girl and he was one strange boy. Her strangeness was the excuse for him to follow her. Or so he told himself.
Date: 04/19/16 Title: Chapter 1: Ersatz Excuses
Cute! I enjoyed this.
Author's Response: Thank you for enjoying this!