Hmm... I don't know if I quite believe that Snape would display his allegiance at that point. It seems too risky.

But the writing is excellent! I particularly like the way you work the coffee table into the fight. It reads very naturally. I have troubles with this sort of scene (luckily, I don't have very many of them).

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks so much for the review! I see what you mean about Snape revealing himself. . . but there is more going on here than meets the eye. This is kind of funfor me, knowing the story is done and that your comment will play out later - and knowing I can\'t say anything for spoiling it, hee hee. I wonder if that is how JKR feels sometimes? ;) Anyway, thank you for the compliment! I really enjoyed writing the fight in this scene. I hope you continue reading to see how Snape\'s fate plays out - and I hope you enjoy it!! Thanks again for reading this! ~Gina :)

This was an amazing look at the prophecy from the Prophecy Keeper's perspective. I really like Aldred, and I hope you will write or have written other stories with him.

I also really loved your theory about the Keeper. It is such a fascinating idea!

Your Albus is completely in character. In particular, when he says he is not ready to share his theories.

Finally, the writing itself is very good. I got completely immersed in the story. Your prose is evocative and elegant, and the setting is described well enough that I could really feel like I was there with them.

Excellent job!

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much, Vorona! I really appreciate the amazing review, especially for something I wrote so long ago. I always liked this, though. I loved Aldred, and yes, I have written him into other stories. He appears briefly in "Crossing the Threshold," which I wrote at the same time for the same Department of Mysteries challenge. He also appears in one of my more recent stories, "Lost." That one is about Harry's son, Albus, but Aldred is no longer the Keeper of the Hall, given that Harry pretty much destroyed it in OotP. Instead, he is the Chief Unspeakable and in charge of the Realm of Possibility, which shows a person the many paths their future might take. He created it, and Albus must explore his future there. If it sounds interesting, I hope you'll think about taking a look! I'm so glad I was able to keep the other Dumbledore in character, he's great fun to write. Thank you for the amazing compliments, and for reading this story so long after it was written! ~Gina :)

I really enjoyed reading this story. It was unique and touching. It seems everyone always jokes about the Giant Squid, but here, you went in a completely different direction. One thing I noticed was your use of the omniscient point of view. It seems to be out of favor, but you did a great job! The third person limited also worked well, and I never got confused as to whose mind (narrator's or Selby's) I was in.

The only thing I would like is, well, more. I felt like Selby could have been a little more well-rounded. I felt, in particular, like there were things you told us about his character that could have been fleshed out more. You did a great job with his curiosity and thoughtfulness, but I was unsure of his motivations for telling Gryffindor about the egg and the basilisk. You wrote "But Gryffindor was his uncle, they were blood bound like all families were. It all had to do with loyalty, and truth." However, we don't really see this, and Gryffindor's wanting him to eat more and call him "uncle" clearly discomfited him. I didn't really get the sense that he felt great loyalty to him until he "said" it. Plus, it didn't fit with his own need to hide his diary, for example, so it came across as a little hypocritical, and I don't think that's what you were intending. A little more depth there would have been helpful.

Finally, I would definitely like to see this continue further. For one thing, I think you could put those things in perspective if given more time, but for another, you did raise some really interesting questions. I would have liked to at least see some of the diary. You mention that it's his truth and that his truth is so very different from how he is around others, but it seems we, too, only get to see the public Aramis. Another idea would be to have someone down the line find the diary. That could be extremely fascinating!

Overall, though, I really enjoyed it, and I'm glad I got to review it for the Ravenclaw tag. I might never have found it otherwise! Great job!

Author's Response: Thanks for the wonderful review! :) I'm glad you didn't find it confusing when I would shift from the narrator's mind to Selby's. I wanted the story to sound as though it were being told at a campfire. When I started 'fleshing out' Selby's character, I realised he had contradictions; some I fixed up but others I purposely left behind. The things he tells himself are not necessarily what he believes. For example, he understands the importance of loyalty to family and to Gryffindor, but there's a hint that other things he believes contradict this. I always planned on delving further into his character in a proper sequel, and I'm glad you sensed this could develop into a longer story. "Another idea would be to have someone down the line find the diary. That could be extremely fascinating!" You are so ahead :) This review has rekindled my motivation for writing the sequel of this story where I plan to delve deeper into Selby's mind and unravel some of those contradictions. Again thank you so much for this review. Off to writing! :)

This is really good. I love the choice of Romulus, for his name, and the interaction between Remus and Fenrir is very well done. I also really like Fenrir's intelligence here. The last part is great -- reminds us why Remus was in Gryffindor. I can see him having precisely this type of courage.

Author's Response: Hey Vorona! =]]] Thank you so much for your sweet review; I\'m so glad you like it! I really appreciate you letting me know--thanks so much! *warm fuzzies*

*huggles* Fenn

This was very sweet! I love stories that feature Percy in a more thoughtful light.

Author's Response: Thanks! I did this story as a challenge, and it was a bit of a challenge at first, because I\'d never even considered writing a \"good Percy\" kind of story. But once I had the plot, I really liked this story. I enjoyed writing it. And I\'m glad you liked reading it.

Oh, that's wonderful. I cried a little... You do the prison scene so well -- I particularly like the bitterness and what it comes to represesnt for Sirius. Excellent!

Author's Response: Thanks :)

This was a great story! It really does make sense how Draco ends up in Gryffindor and what effect that has on the D. A. As for Fawkes... I don't really think it was our idea... it's stated quite plainly in the books. (CoS -- no idea what page, need to get another copy since mine is lent to someone, I'm probably not going to get it back, but Dumbledore says something like "Only true loyalty could have brought Fawkes to you.")

Author's Response: Hey Vorona! Thank you so much for your reassuring words - I really appreciate them because it\'s so difficult when writing Draco through such unfamiliar territory to him as Gryffindor is. And yes, I credited you and Gina, though, because of the idea that part of the reason Dumbledore implicitly trusted Snape - or in this case,Draco - was because of Fawkes\' ability to recognize loyalty came from you two. I thought it was an important way to reinforce that Draco was absolutely sorted into the correct House. Thanks again for reading and reviewing my story! *hugs* ~Andrea

I've been meaning to read this. As a story in its own right, it's excellent. I love the reluctance and the inner conflict it gives to Sirius about his house and his friendship with James, Remus, and Peter.

I think you also did a really good job on the characterisations, particularly Sirius, James, and Peter.

The only thing that seemed a little off is that when you tell the Sorting Hat "no", it listens... Even Dumbledore said as much. So, it insisting on Slytherin seems a bit out of character for the hat.

All in all, though, great story!

Author's Response: Hi Vorona! Thanks so much for reading this story! I appreciate the positive comments on characterization, since I\'m hoping to start a MWPP story soon! You are not the first one to comment on the Sorting Hat, but I did need to get Sirius into Slytherin and wanted to do so at his initial Sorting; I suppose in hindsight avoiding the Sorting Hat might have been better, since it does come across as a bit OOC given what we know about how the hat Sorted Harry. Oh well! I don\'t see myself changing it, since it is AU after all, and I\'m rather pleased with how Sirius turned out to be a Maruader after all in spite of being Sorted away from the others. I really appreciate you reading this, and the lovely comments. Thank you so much!! ~Gina :)

Snape's voice was wonderful here -- It was obvious who was speaking immediately! I also think that both positions are believable. I know someone said they didn't think Snape would disagree with Dumbledore, but I think he would, especially in this case.

I loved the hints in Snape's letter about the Sirius Black escape. Very nicely done!

This is a very sweet story. I've always thought there might be something intriguing between Ginny and Luna, and in one of my own stories, I have them hooked up (not posted yet). It's nice to find someone else intrigued by the idea!

The plot is simple but poignant. I like how it's just this one moment, and that they carry it with them forever. That's nice. The conflict was done well, too. I could really feel Ginny's conflict about her desire for Luna. That was a great internal conflict. I also liked the external conflict: Luna's brief hurt that Ginny would only want her if it stayed secret, and how she understood that. There was something so powerfully moving about that, and it fits so well with Luna's character. And that brings me to the characterisation. I thought both characters were elegantly in character. It's hard to do Luna well, but I think you managed it in this short moment in time.

That said, there were a number of problems that kept these great strengths from shining as much as they could. You have a wonderful sense of imagery and have some very interesting descriptions throughout this piece, but there are just too many of them. They tend to crowd each other out. So, as the reader, I would just get immersed into this great image only to be immediately thrust into another. Some might call it purple prose, but I dislike that term and find it misleading. I do like really beautiful prose, and some of the prose I like has been termed "purple prose" by readers who prefer the prose to stay completely invisible. I don't think it has to be invisible, but I also don't think it should be distracting. For example, in your first three sentences, you have the following images: red flashes, washed with darkness, hair highlighted with gold, light-footed, dying embers, weaving lithely, crimson armchairs with overstuffed cushions, briefly illuminated eyes, and smoldering remnants of logs. You also use the verb "dart" twice in the last two sentences of that group. All of these are really interesting, but you move through them so quickly, it feels overwhelming. I found myself skimming and getting out of the story because I felt bombarded by so many different images. And this continued throughout the story. Another problem I had was the coding. Why not just say "Ginny" and "Luna"? Why does it have to be "the flame-haired girl" and the "moon-girl"? It felt very contrived to me, especially once they were together and talking. It works for a few mentions, but after that, it gets old. Along with that, I found the metaphor about the birds to be just too obvious and extended. Again, I felt like your desire to be clever and poetic distracted me from getting into the story. Finally, I like present tense in stories sometimes, but here, there were moments that it felt jarring. After dialogue, in particular, I kept expecting past tense. It didn't really flow for me.

Overall, I did like this story, even though the things I didn't like seemed to have more of an effect. The problem was that I could see how beautiful this moment was, and yet, I couldn't get into it because the prose, imagery, and figurative language kept getting in the way. I haven't looked at all of your stories, but I wouldn't be surprised if you have some amazing poetry up here. Your descriptions are truly unique and interesting, and I'd love to see what you could do if you spread them out more.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review! First off, I'd like to say that I agree with you wholeheartedly on most of your points; I wrote this when I was thirteen (or fourteen . . . somewhere thereabouts), and my writing skills weren't very developed then. I'm more than a bit embarrassed to think that people are still looking at this, to be honest, but your review was quite kind. I feel like there are things I can take away from your criticisms even today. However, the one decision I still stand by was to keep from mentioning their names. I freely admit that I carried it out very clumsily, but I was hoping to make the atmosphere seem more . . . I don't know, private. I liked to think that keeping them anonymous, although it couldn't be clearer who they are, lessened the impression of voyeurism that's inherent to stories told in the third person. As I've said, I did a terrible job of conveying this, but I feel like the idea would have potential in the hands of a better writer. Or maybe even my present-day self. ;-P Again, thank you for the review, and thank you especially for keeping it from stinging too hard.