Ha! The last line was great! Of course he failed that one. I really liked your original character, Carole. What I liked best, however, wasn't even the focus of the story: I really liked reading about a female Quidditch player. We know they're out there, but we don't read about them much. I thought that was a nice twist to Martha, to make her so interested in Quidditch. Oh, and I loved the veiled references to Animagi, hee hee. Sirius was great. :)
So - did she pass?? :D
Nice job! ~Gina :)

Author's Response: Oh, thank you. Martha grew on me. She was supposed to be this dippy girl with a crush on James, but then Sirius waded in. At one point I considered killing her (I am brutal), but then I decided I liked the Quidditch angle as well, so she turned up in my Tonks fic as well. One day I may write some more about her career post H/W and before she meets Tonks. Thanks for the review. ~Carole~

Lovely little fic! I love how casual the first person narration is, and yet so packed with emotion. The kiss was the best - very 'squee'-worthy, it totally made me grin. Lucky Jess (Happy Birthday!) - you did a great job with the pairing for her! ~Gina :)

Author's Response: Gina!



YAY! You liked the kiss. :D I am loving the first person narration in general now, what with PJ and Colfer's Half-Moon being great books written in that form.



Thanks for reading and reviewing!



~Natalie.

I like it! I read the Burn's poem and think you did a really good job with the challenge. You used the last word of every line, but your poem is completely original. It really fits the mood of the Battle of Hogwarts. In particular, I think the second stanza, referring to house rivalries being put aside, is brilliant. Congrats on winning the challenge, I think you are a wonderful poet! ~Gina :)

Author's Response: Ginaaaaa!



How sweet are you? I was just glaring at my own LJ post when this showed up. I squeed in my mind because my roomies are sleeping and I couldn't do it loudly. :( I'm happy you think I'm a good poet. Hehehehe! Thankssss!



~Natalie.



P.S. I promise I won't tell anyone about you and sneezing. Er. Oops.

That was great! I am amazed by how different this is from your other stories - so sweet and touching and heartfelt. None of Draco's angry bitterness here! I kept expecting something bad to happen, and it never did, and that was perfect for this story, because Isla and Bob deserved a happy ending.

You really did a great job creating these two characters - and Frederick - in such short time. The couple sounds fascinating - strong and in love and so defiant. And to include Isla's disability is this way - as a source of her family's ire - was so original and well done, and really lent her character depth and sympathy.

I wonder if an Unbreakable Vow was a bit strong for the situation, but I agree that Bob in particular would not trust Frederick without some show of honor.

Very well written, such a steady, consistent tone - wonderful job! Good luck! ~Gina :)

Author's Response:

Aw, thanks, love. :D

To be honest, I wasn't - and still am not - sure about how well I did on this story. I probably should have had it betaed for at least a second opinion. I probably didn't even carry out the prompt correctly, but whatever, lol. 

I didn't want to use the Unbreakable Vow, honestly, but in my mind, I really could not concoct any other manner to assure that Fredrick would be silent. Despite being a bit of a bigot himself, Fredrick was always a decent sort, hence his dislike of Dorian (whose story may or may not come to existence) and his desire to spend as little time with Cygnus Black as possible. But what I really wanted to get out of him was a modicum of understanding for Isla and her condition.

To me, it was most important to break away from the typical Bob/Isla mold. It's always been the beautiful, oppressed Black princess and the handsome, sweet Mudblood boy. It still has those elements, but Isla's family doesn't mistreat her indiscriminitely; she has her condition that no one yet understands (seriously, how many people with palsy, MS, and epilepsy were ridiculed and tortured for being 'possessed' before their true conditions were understood), not to mention, she doesn't do herself any favours by defying her father. Also, Bob, though protective of her, is a bit of a jerk, but if I was him and had to endure the discrimination fo being Muggle-born in that particular time when it was not the greatest time to be of that blood status.

I'm glad you like the characters, and I hope to expand on this story in the future. Thanks for reading. I heart you, as usual, and I look forward to finishing the move so I can lurk/stalk your author page like I've been wanting to since the fifth of, oh, I dunno...forever. :D

*hugs*

~Jess

P.S. - Congrats to the Blackhawks for a stellar Cup effort. I'm truly happy for them. 

Hi Ritta! It's so nice to see you writing and posting! You were right, this is very dark. You did a really good job of making it believable, too. The beginning gave just enough information for the reader to nod and understand and accept that this is what happened to Harry. The bits with the cutting were chilling.
I liked the way you alternated between the past and the present, telling two stories, really. It made it like sort of a mystery to figure out what was going on in italics based on what you were giving us in regular print.
Very original pairing! I find the idea of Pansy being exiled fascinating. I could definitely see Harry going into self-exile. You built up their relationship nicely. I can't say I'm rooting for them, of course ;) but it made sense in your story. Did you write this from a prompt?
Nice job, and I'm not even going to mention commas! ;)
~Gina :)

Author's Response: Thanks, Gina. I'm glad it came off as dark. I wasn't sure I was channeling Harry correctly, but I tried. The alternating italics are meant to be the continuation of where the normal narration ends so it is like telling two stories except it's the same one. Lol. I did write this for a prompt. -coughs-CommaNazi-cough-

That was quite cute! How refreshing to see Peter as a real person and not some poor hanger-on with no personality. I liked that he had his own sense of humor and sarcasm. The way Remus had Peter share his feelings with the girl right behind him was clever. I would only point out that some words, like Muggle and perhaps even Marauder, should be capitalized. Nice job!
~Gina :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I've wanted to write a fic humanizing Peter for some time now, and the idea of throwing him in a romance came to me a few weeks ago. I love reading Marauder (notice capitalization? lol) fics, but it always bothers me when people show James and Sirius and even Remus treating him poorly. Surely, he wasn't the most popular of the Marauders, but they wouldn't hang out with him if they didn't like him, and the Marauders were popular as a group, so a lame Peter would have really dragged them down. I think it's important to show him with attributes that could easily turn into the Peter we know, but some redeeming qualities as well that would lead the Marauders to like him and trust him. The thing with Remus was an idea I've had for a while for no particular story at all, and it just naturally worked itself into this fic. I think I finally realized I needed someone clever like Remus to pull it off! Ooh, are those really capitalized? I'll have to go in for an edit, then. I forget which ones are proper nouns in the Potterverse. Thanks for letting me know! Many thanks for the review!

I love it!! You know I am slightly obsessed with James and Lily right now and this was a lovely look at their relationship through the character of Remus. I am also loving Remus at the moment, and you wrote him so well - so careworn, so sad. Great insight into his character when he said he was not bothered by people hating him, but by people fearing him. I loved how he initially reacted to Lily with anger, but she put him in her place. Now he has another supporter. Lovely! And then the way he helped Lily see James in a slightly different light - very nice! And the dream comment was perfect. Ah, I love a good Marauder story. Was there another Marauder thing you were working on as well? It's good to see you posting again! As always, I loved reading your story! ~Gina :)

Author's Response:

Heart.

Remus and Lily's relationship has been ignored throughout fanfiction, and I don't know why. You'd think, out of all the Marauders, Remus is the one with whom Lily would probably have the most in common. A platonic relationship between them only makes sense, especially if Lily knew how much he had to endure and still put up a brave face. That seems like the type of person that she would like.

And, yes, I have another Marauder bun in the oven. I'm going to finish it as soon as I get my monthly stuff done. Thanks for reviewing, as always, and I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D

Cheers!

~Jess

Whoa. I LOVE IT! I usually have a hard time with free verse, but this just nails it! This is fantastic! What did it for me was the repetition of the single lines in the next stanza - I am now naked, Amoung other things, I am now cursed, etc. Setting that as a stand-alone and then going into more detail in the next stanza is briliiant and really details what you were trying to say.
The list of crimes was wonderful, and I love the stanza with the colours. :)
This is very emotional, and no more so than the last four lines. Just, wow. Very powerful. Great, great work. I can't think of anything I would change, it's just a wonderful poem. You are very talented at free verse!
~Gina :)

Author's Response: *glomp*



I know you don't enjoy free verse, so I feel it is a huge accomplishment to have you writing such a great review. :D:D Glad you liked the single lines and their repetition; that was something I didn't intend to use because I originally wanted only the last line to be a single line, but I decided to take a risk as it does make you stop, think and be ready for the next stanza. And the colours! Colours are a major part of my poetry; you'll find them in most of the poems I've 'published' till now. :D



Again, thanks for the wonderful review!



~Natalie.

Julia, your prose is just so beautiful and emotional it's amazing. This piece is like a character study of grief more than a plot-driven, action-packed story, and I wish I could do that. Each word seems so carefully chosen to say and mean exactly what you want it to. And then paints such a stark, vivid picture of Harry going through something so life-changing. I think your use of repetition in particular - words, short phrases - really punctuates what you are trying to convey. Poor Harry. And yet, by the end, with those last words, I sense that he has turned around. The last two words leave the reader with hope - at least, that's how I read it, and I hope that's right!
Really fantastic writing. I hope I can write a Harmony story like this for you and Jess someday. ;)
~Gina :D

Author's Response: Wow, Gina, thanks for the lovely review! Hm, a lot of my recent fics have been more character studies than anything else. I like to think about how characters react in different situations and take things from there. I'm glad you enjoy the repetition. I always seem to do it subconsciously and I worry that I go overboard. Luckily, my wonderful betas are there to tone it down! As you noticed, this is really about Harry (and Hermione) working through their grief. It is angsty but I wanted to end it with some glint of hope - that maybe they could get through this, one day, even if for now it more of an acceptance than anything else. But thanks so much for the lovely review. And I hope you write that Harmony one day, oh Canonista Supreme! <3

So now the question becomes: Ron or Harry? I have my suspicions, so I can't wait to see if I'm right (again)! That was a good twist, but even more than that, I rather liked seeing George in bad-a** mode, and the bit at the house - the papers, the key - really deepened that part of the plot. Your romance stories are so multi-layered, it's amazing. Not to mention the angst. ;) Great chapter, post soon! ~Gina :)

Author's Response:

Hehe, I suppose you'll have to wait and see... but no worries. A good chunk of the upcoming chapters are baby-related, but the darkness is coming! You know I couldn't tell you whether you were right or not when we were chatting, though it seemed pretty obvious. If you can forgive my ebilness. :D

Lovely review, and I miiiiisss you, Twin!

~Jess