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The Potters and The Blacks, a Family Torn Apart ... by Lurid
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: A One-Shot written based on the events that happened that fateful Halloween night. This particular Fic was written when I was in Year 7 for an English "Harry Potter Book Review" task, and is now on the screens of your computers three years later. (Pre-OotP)
Date: 06/16/06 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot
Interesting. I like how you portrayed Sirius as getting no trial, it makes sense that everyone would just think it was a waste of tim(and managed not to repeat anything) to show the different emotions of the people. It's overall, very good. I didn't catch any grammatical errors, so good job! (lol) I liked how you ended with the climax, and the scene where Sirius attacks Peter is very believable.
Author's Response: Thankyou! I actually edited the end, from the original (11YO) version. Glad you liked it! ♥
Hogwarts: A Musical by QueenHal
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: A SPEWish Covert Cupid for TheVanishingAct. Happy Valentine's Day, Professor Pat!
It's Seventh Year, and the new Headmaster has decreed that students must take some sort of course to fulfill the new Art Requirement. Our favourite characters have decided to take Drama. What kind of hilarity will ensue when the night of the first dress rehearsal arrives? Expect Hagrid as a Tree, Ron as Godric Gryffindor and Malfoy as the Amazing "Dancing" Ferret.
Ron/Luna, Prof. Pat/Hermione, Blaise/Himself
Date: 06/18/06 Title: Chapter 1: One Shot
Absolutly hysterical. My favourtie part however either had to be the dialogue between Malfoy(how perfect that he is a farrot) and Blaise and when Harry-or Merlin- tried to go save Ron-or Godric- from embaressment, and just kept repeating "I'm here to savet he day!" So funny. Although, the thought of Lavender brandishing a knife at Ron is rather...interesting. Lol.
However, the beginging was rather confusing. Maybe, it would have been better if you had given us a more thorough introduction. Overall though, it was wonderful!
Spider Web by songbook99
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Hermione shows Mr Weasley how to use a Muggle computer. Confusion about spider webs, and what a mouse really is, ensues.
Date: 06/15/06 Title: Chapter 1: Spider Web
That's a creative idea! I like how you made it so it was like the books existed and Harry Potter did as a real person. I don't think I've seen anything like it before. I think you did a wonderful job of tieing the different facts we know about Muggles from the story to your fanfic. Like the moving pictures for example. Personally, I liked the bit about the mouse. Very humerous.
Author's Response: Wow, I\'m sorry it has taken me so long to respond. I really do appreciate your review. It makes me happy that you enjoyed this little story - it\'s there to make you smile. The moving pictures was something that just seemed to me would be a novelty to someone who hadn\'t seen a computer before, especially when I remember my first experiences with computers. Thanks again for the review. :)
The Mudblood and the Dark Lord by Just Tink
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: Myrtle Sawyer is best known around school as 'Moaning Myrtle.' But when she develops a crush on a handsome prefect her life takes a turn for the worse...
Date: 06/15/06 Title: Chapter 1: The Mudblood and the Dark Lord
I liked how you had the majority of the story in Myrtle's point of view, then switched for the last part. That's interesting how Moaning Myrtle recieved her name from her school days, and not actually when she was a ghost. I can see Olive doing that to her, as when I read the books I've always seen Myrtle as someone who kept to herself in school, cried to herself from time to time. Someone who was overall sad. I think you portrayed her nicely. Great story.
Author's Response: Thanks, I\'m glad you liked it! And I always saw her as a depressed person in her school days as well- the kid you don\'t always want to hate, but do anyways. Thanks for the review!
The Lion Within - A Sirius Black Story by the nutty imp
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: He was raised to be a proper heir to the 'Most Ancient and Noble House of Black'. An unexpected turn of events sent him to an unfamiliar territory. Family foundations shaken, he will have to look within himself to figure out who Sirius Black truly is.
Date: 06/21/06 Title: Chapter 1: Challenge # 5
Wow. I like how you worked the verses in, it added a nice break between the scenes and added a lot of meaning.
Also, I liked how you didn't have Sirius immediatly opening up to the Gryffindors or James desperate to become his friend. I can see Sirius continue to prank the Gryffindors and Slythersin, simply because he's mad at both houses.
My favourite part was the beginging that had the dialogue between the Sorting Hat and McGonagol. Although, I did like how you ended it with one of the verses. Very nice.
Author's Response: Thank you. I originally just wrote the poem and was going to submit it in the poetry section, but thought it works better as a story. Something like a song-fic but using my own poem instead of a song.
Date: 06/22/07 Title: None
Interesting one-shot. The most amazing aspect of it is Luna's characterisation. I thought you did a wonderful job of finding her motives (like why she was still awake in Binns's class) and the way she thought. I've always found Luna to be so odd in her personality that she's had for me to write. Although, you've seem to handle it wonderfully.
There were just a few, small nit-pick mistakes that I can't help but mention.
[i]“I hope it doesn’t. It’s Quidditch today and I don’t fancy practicing in the rain.”[/i] There should be a comma after today. Yet, as I was rereading it to decide whether it should have a comma or not, the word selection began not to sound exactly right. It is Quidditch today. It's a sentence, but it almost doesn't make sense. Like, it is Wednesday today. Maybe I have Quidditch today?
[i]Farther down the Gryffindor table I see Ronald Weasley entwined with a 6th year girl whose name I do not know.[/i] 6th year should probably be written out as sixth-year.
[i]I look out the window; the rain is easing and I see a Thestral leap out of the forest, catching a small bird in its teeth and plunging down into the trees.[/i] After easing there should be a comma.
Overall, I thought this one-shot was fantastic. Keep up the wonderful writing.
Date: 05/30/06 Title: None
You characterized the twins perfectly as nine-year-olds. I can see them getting punished, and then going back and doing practically the same thing over again. I liked how you kept their pranks simple, as they are nine-year-olds, but not boring.
Author's Response: Thank you!! It\'s really hard to do them as nine year olds because you don\'t want to make them completely brilliant or too boring. That is really encouraging to hear =)
Little Loony by miss padfoot
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Ever wondered what turned Luna into a loony? One-shot.
Date: 06/15/06 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Wow. You really went through a lot of depth to explain why Luna is so loony. The story itself is relatively sad from my point of veiw, but also has a strong feeling behind it. I found it interesting also that you portrayed Luna's dad as a 'normal guy', but I liked the idea. It's very plausable and adds a lot to the story. That's dedication for him to quit his job like that for Luna. Through-out the story I liked how you had Marvin refering to Luna as "Princess", I think that is another good way you showed his love for her. Overall, it's wonderful!
Author's Response: Thanks, FeatherTrader for your wonderful comments. I\'ve been having a really bad day and your review put a smile onto my face. Thanks a million!
Beautiful Mess by Periwinkle
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: A poem from Ginny's perspective on Harry - the first and last times they met.
Date: 06/13/06 Title: Chapter 1: Beautiful Mess
I love the use of repetetion and how you portrayed Ginny's feelings. It was very...deep? I also like how the 'when I first saw you' contradicts the 'when I last saw you' it shows the changes Ginny has noticed and how Harry has changed since she met him.
Author's Response: thanks!
Date: 06/13/06 Title: Chapter 1: Beautiful Mess
I love the use of repetetion and how you portrayed Ginny's feelings. It was very...deep? I also like how the 'when I first saw you' contradicts the 'when I last saw you' it shows the changes Ginny has noticed and how Harry has changed since she met him.
Author's Response: Thank you for your kind review! It made me grin! =)
Lazing on a Sunday Afternoon by MaiaMadness
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: “I go off to work on Monday morning. Tuesday I go off to Honeymoon. I’ll be back again before it’s time for sunny-down. I’ll be lazing on a Sunday afternoon.” The thoughts of Cornelius Fudge right before he goes to see the Muggle Prime Minister, grumbling about what a good life he had.
Date: 06/13/06 Title: Chapter 1: Lazing on a Sunday Afternoon
I don't think I've ever seen anything Fudge-centered, or at least not lately. Very unique. I liked how you had Fudge at first blaming others (bloody Harry Potter, bloody Dumbledore, bloody You-Know-Who) then slowly coming to relization that it was his own fault. My favourite part however was the "Maybe they’ll make Arthur Weasly my boss. That would be depressing." Short, humouress and gives us a direct link to what he's thinking. Overall, I love it!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing!
I hadn\'t ever read anything about Fudge either; the characters we mostly dislike are so easy to over-look, such as Fudge, or Professor Trelawny or Peter Pettigrew. It\'s much more fun to write about the characters we love, or those that we don\'t like as such but find intriguing, like Voldemort, Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape. It was interesting to challenge myself with a character no one really writes, and I am glad that you enjoyed it!
Let The Rain Fall by lily_evans34
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Ginny's thoughts now that Harry is gone. One shot.
Date: 07/27/06 Title: Chapter 1: Let The Rain Fall
Wow. I absolutly loved how you connected the last phrase with the title. It really goes with Ginny's emotions when you think about it. (or maybe it's just me and my wierd connections) You created a vivid image of Ginny's depression, and explained it quite nicely.
The only nit-pick I picked up on was 'She wasn’t aware of Hermione telling her how it had some about.' Some, should actually be come. But, only one messed up letter out of the entire one-shot is absolutly terrific.
I thought it was interesting how you created the flow between the year past when Harry asked Ginny to marry him to the present day, when Ginny was depressed. Wonderful one-shot.
Author's Response: Why thank you! And no, it\'s not your weird connections; you\'re completely right! Every single word I type that starts with \'s\' or \'c\', I switch up. Usually, I correct it, but sometimes I forget to, thanks so much for telling me that! I\'m so glad that you liked it!
Cliché Nation by just_the_contrary
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: A compilation of the most commonly used Harry Potter clichés in the fandom. Features Angsty!Harry, Sweet!Draco, Head Dorms, sudden romances in the forms of Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ginny and of course, Draco/Hermione, because what's a cliché without them?
The Marauders also make an appearance in this fic, including Lily/Lily's best friend/Lily's other best friend.
Warning: mention of hippopotamuses inside.
Chapter Five is up! The story is done. Also, thank you to everyone who nominated this neatly tied bundle of ridiculousness in the QQ awards, I really appreciate it!
Date: 06/12/06 Title: Chapter 1: A Collection of All-Sorts
Wonderful use of cliches. My personal favorite was Harry dialogue. Although, to me it kinda of seems like it would work better as two different fanfics. One of Sparklypoo (who I can completely see as cheerleaders) and the other on the trio. Overall though, I thought it was rather interesting.
Author's Response: Thank you! Yeah, I like Harry\'s dialogue too - I was originally going to make a story with just Sparklypoo but then decided against it. Thanks, though!
Dark by comewhatmay
Rated: 6th-7th Years •Summary: A poem told by a life long Death Eater who tells of the ways, fate, and what the two sides of magic will yet to become.
PLEASE R&R !!!!!!!!!
Even if you HATE it review please!!!
Date: 07/07/06 Title: Chapter 1: 1
Wow. My favourite aspect of this poem is how it all flows together. It really is wonderful. I can tell it is written by a Death Eater because it has that...eerie feel to it. Almost a negative view of life. I think that in itself adds a great deal to the poem.
My favourite line in it is 'The ties that should bond us together will never exist' It's one of those pieces that just makes you think about it for a long moment, really allowing it to set in. Overall though, I thought it was short and to the point, not to mention well written.
Author's Response: THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!
Your review has been the best so far!!
I just want to say that your stories are well written too! I sincerely thank you!
-comewhatmay
The Stupid Toad Woman by mugglegurl
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: One-shot challenge- owls, written by the patient Hufflepuff, mugglegurl. We all know that Hedwig was attacked by Umbridge in OotP. Here's her tale of what happened. Somewhat funny, if I do say so myself.
Date: 06/17/06 Title: Chapter 1: The Stupid Toad Woman
The tone of the one-shot actually was quite funny. Just because I'm in a nit-picking mode...
“Take this to Harry, alright. Take this to Harry.”
Alright, should be all right. Overall though I liked it.
My favourite part was either Buckbeak's accent and actions, or just the references to Pig. Especially the end part, it really makes it seem like a real diary entry.
I like the style you wrote this in. I think it was a good idea to write the diary bit instead of just telling the story. Makes it a bit more interesting.
Author's Response: Thanks! I actually didn\'t have a beta for this story *runs from the mods wrath* so I\'m actually quite impressed there was only one mistake!
Conflict by grangergurl
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: Harry Potter's life is now Voldemort-free, but he is far from carefree. His wife, Ginny, has come down with a disease from which she may not recover. However, the time that Harry could be using searching for the cure is snatched away by the newly - rising Dark Lord, Draco Malfoy. Harry cannot find the cure until beating Malfoy, which should be easy....right?
24 May 2009: Back, but on hiatus until summer.
Date: 06/22/07 Title: Chapter 1: The Clue
Slytherin pride! Wooo-hooo!
Okay, now that I've got that out of my system. I love how, even though it's the first chapter, this chapter steps right into the plot and drama. It was cute how you included your brother into the mix too.
I really liked the hiding of Joshua's room. I think it is something Harry and Ginny would do to protect their only son, since Harry is always going to have enemies. I thought it was ingenious on your part to think of such a room.
There were only a few punctuation/random errors I picked up on. Overall though, the chapter was perfectly written.
However, people soon flooded in and the bride and groom were pushed apart. There should be a comma after in.
“Good. I heard you cough. Are you alright?” Alright is a combined word only accepted in America within the last decade. In most formal papers, it's written out. But, I believe, it's still commonly accepted to write all right in Britain.
“Well, I’m going to back to sleep for my remaining 2 ½ hours before we go. Are you coming?” The number should probably be written out.
“No, just going to bore myself to sleep,” Harry carefully said. I absolutely adore this line. It seems something Harry would say when he's trying to get someone to relax or laugh. It's perfect characterisation for him. Poor Hermione, though.
Overall, this chapter was amazing!
Author's Response: Ah, thank you, dear. I can hardly read this chapter without doing four *headdesks* I was so stupid when I wrote this. Thank you so much, though!
And the Sun Always Returns by the_evenstar
Rated: 6th-7th Years •Summary: As Parvati finds that her whole world has changed, will she find comfort on foreign shores?
First place entry in the May Monthly Challenge One: Pilgrimage.
Date: 06/24/06 Title: Chapter 1: Parvati's Pilgrimage
Wow. Simply, wow. I liked how you flipped from what Parvati was seeing, to what had happened continously, so by the end everything fit together perfectly. Although, it had been slightly confusing at first. Overall though, you portrayed her emotion quite nicely.
At the end, I liked how you compared Padma's death to the sun. It was really interesting to see this from Parvati's point of view. It was interesting how she suddenly felt alone after her sister's death, even though they had departed eachother's company on bad terms. Funny enough, I can see Lavendar only worried about getting back together with Ron. Keep up the fantastic writing!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the nice review! And as always, I\'m ecstatic that you liked it. It had been my fear that the story would be confusing - but I\'m glad it made sense in the end. Thanks again; hope I don\'t disappoint! <3
Buying Day by Gemma Hawk
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Third Place in the One-Shot Challenge-Owls!
Have you ever wondered what exactly happened the day Hedwig was bought? All the books offer are a few lines. But find out what really happened- from Hedwigs point of view, that is.
Date: 06/21/06 Title: Chapter 1: Oneshot
Wow! I really liked this. It showed Hedwig from a different perspective. I liked how you showed her different emotions, the slight annoyance with her cage-mate, her curiosity over Hagrid, and her excitement over Harry taking her home. It all really added a lot to the one-shot.
My favourite part had to have been the ending, as it just made you want to go 'awww.' It really was quite a cute ending. I thought it was interesting how Hedwig could see that he not only wanted someone to carry his post, but a new friend in the new world. I liked her thoughts on why the owl doesn't get to pick their buyer, lke a wand does. Wonderful one-shot.
Author's Response: Thank you, thank you, thank you!! This is too kind! This review really overwhelms me. Thanks so much!
To Lose a Letter by Just Tink
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: In the beginning of Harry's fourth year, Harry has a horrible dream and wakes up with his scar burning. He sends Hedwig off with a letter to Sirius, but how does Hedwig feel about making the transatlantic flight to see Sirius Black? A tale of tropical sunshine, scandalous toucans, and a dropped letter. Written for the one-shot challenge- owls by Just Tink of Hufflepuff House.
Date: 06/20/06 Title: Chapter 1: To Lose a Letter
I liked the humourous edge to this. Especially the bit about the owls owning the humans...seems like my dog and I. Also, the mailing customs in Puerto Rico. Very creative.
Although, a few nit picks. Nothing major and it's only two.
Firstly, "He gave her a Look, muttering under his breath as he untied the letter from her leg."
The' L' in look shouldn't be capitlized.
Secondly, “Go find yourself a seagull to comfort you!” She screeched before flying away back through the open window, leaving Ricardo to despair." she shouldn't be capitilized. Over all though, it didn't have barely any mistakes and I liked the closure the ending gave the reader
Author's Response: Glad you liked it! The \'L\' in \'look\' is purposely capitalized, actually- you know that death glare you give to people when you\'re incredibly ticked off and want them to just go away and stop bugging you? In my mind, that\'s a Look. I may have to go back and make that clearer, though. And I\'ll fix the other problem. Glad you enjoyed it- I based the customs off of some real life experiences. Thanks for the review!
Love Incognito by evanescence17
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: The War's over, the Dark Lord is vanquished, and the trio returns to Hogwarts to complete their last year of studies. But someone turns up a few days before the Feast and everyone is stunned to see him; most of all Hermione, who finds herself drifting towards this improved person - something that had never taken place in the last six years of their acquaintance.
So, who's this 'new' guy and why is he making Hermione...fall for him?!
This story has slightly been altered keeping in mind the happenings of The Deathly Hallows. Hopefully this would be better to digest.Chapter 3 is in queue (again) btw :)
Date: 08/12/06 Title: Chapter 3: The Bunch of Roses
Wonderful! I especially like Ron's outburst. Something about it just amuses me.
My favourite part in the entire chapter was the last paragraph. It really adds a lot to the situation and shows that Draco has changed slightly. Even if it was only a small change. Something about him clutching the roses kind of made me like it also, since I can easily imagine Draco clutching the roses as thorns prick into his hands. Kind of like holding his anger in, because it seems to me that he probably would have lashed out if his injuries hadn’t been so bad.
I like the whole idea of how you get Draco and Hermione to meet in the dark after Draco is released from the hospital wing. Usually, Hermione/Draco fanfics are very out of character. Of course, it does have to be slightly out of character since in the book they are obviously enemies, but as long as you work your way into it, it doesn’t have to be quite as drastic. You’re doing a wonderful job of setting it all up, by the way. You’re writing seems to flow very smoothly and I can’t wait to read/beta the future chapters.
Author's Response: heyy danielle!!! thanks so much for reviewing!! i m steadily working my way into chapters 8 and 9 now.. i m just not fast enuf for updating it.. hope to work with u soon!! cheers!