What a fantastic look into Ginny's world. You did an incredible job of portraying her thoughts and feelings. No hint of the stereotypical or mundane here! She is a real person with thoughts, feelings, confusions, anger, and joy.

I have for ages wanted to find a story that depicted Ginny learning to fly/flying. The way you described it I almost felt like I was right there, watching it happen. There was something intensely feminine about your illustration of the scene. I mean this in a good way. Ginny is an entirely different person from Harry. Flying means something subtly different to her. She rockets upward like a bird or skims the grass like a butterfly... I can't do it justice. Your style was impressive. I could feel her heart throbbing as she soared away from her troubles. wow. I really can't say enough in praise of this element in your story. It makes perfect sense that she became a great Quidditch player when you see what makes her love to fly. Flying means so much to her-- of course she is good at it.

I liked her relationship with Charlie. The books give you a good idea how she feels about Bill. She looks up to him, takes his side in an argument, etc. Charlie seems to be a bit more of a buddy, but she still likes being his 'little sister.' I also liked the hints at her relationship with Ron. I can just see her playing with him as little tikes. (Fred and George had each other, so Ron and Ginny had to have been closer to each other then to their other siblings.) Her anger with him was just right. She wasn't nasty about it, just sad, hurt, and a bit bitter. Perfect. You didn't over do it. She has a temper, but she isn't vicious...

There was a haunting quality to your writing that left me speechless. Let me quote you:

"One day, she would be whole again. She would climb trees and somersault in the grass, and she would push the tumultuous past behind her. She was strong, after all. She was tough and resilient and a Gryffindor. She refused to walk on shattered glass any longer, for it was all on her shoulders from now on. Her dreams, her choices, her faults, were hers alone. She was Ginny Weasley, and she could break down the door You-Know-Who had dropped in front of her. She had a life to live."

This kind of thing is really hard to write without messing up. Most amateur authors who attempt something like this wind up with sappy yickyness. You pulled it off really well. This paragraph, and the others like it, set your story apart.

I also wanted to bring up the way you maintain Ginny's 'childishness.' I don't mean pettiness, I mean her girlish, youthful character. She has just enough of a young-adult's naivety, but she has obviously experienced evil (Tom Riddle) and been effected by it. Well done.

There is a lot more to praise in this story. I wish I could do a better job describing what I love about it.

Please write more stories.

Pax.

Fantastic. I liked the flashback. I liked the ending. I guess I'm saying I loved the whole thing. Super writting, neat character developement, and nice flow to the whole story. Keep the good stuff coming!

Pax.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review, I\'m glad the flashbacks weren\'t confusing!

So well written! I'm not typically a fan of song-fics, but I loved yours. Good job with the imagery. I also think you kept the characters canon, which is a very good thing. Remus stories almost always make him out to be some kind of outrageously sexy guy with superstar charisma. That is fine... but I don't think that is the Remus that JKR came up with. So anyway-- love your Tonks (lovable, clumsy, passionate) and your Remus.

Pax.

P.S. I wanted that door to open soooo bad. Will you consider writting a second part?


Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! I find it really hard to portray characters acurately as I write my own stuff in my spare time withmy own characters who can act anyway I want them to! I am definitely going to continue writing this, I should have updated it already, really, but I went to Kenya for a couple of weeks during the holidays and I haven\'t quite caught up on sleep! Anyway, after this wonderful review, I\'ll get right on it! Thanks again!

Keep writting! You did a great showing another side of Snape. Somehow he seems more human then I imagine him being even at that age, but I still love what you've done. Pax.

Not as good as some of your other poems, but I still liked it. My main criticism is that it doesn't flow very well. Maybe it was your intent to have it a bit jerky-- none of us are eloquent when we are in the depths of misery. Is that what you were going for?

Keep writing. I like your work.

Pax.

Author's Response: Yes, the poem is sort of jerky, but that was what I was going for. I think her thought processes would not have been organized and eloquent in this time of distress, so this is how the poem can out. thanks for the review!

You write well Bryant, I've read some of your other stuff too. This fic has a good start, but it almost seems like you got bored with it. The last paragraph of ch 2 especially feels like you ran out of energy. It seems like you started summing everything up in individual sentences that should have been given more attention.

Pax!

One of your best. I loved it. This poem really come across as something Ginny would write. Bravo.

Pax.

Author's Response: Thanks.

LOL! Did anyone ever tell you that you are, ummm, a bit random? Dorkily amusing fic Sarah. I really liked it. Aunt Marge was awesome, and Sucker takes the cake.

Pax!

Cute story! I was a bit surprised at first by Molly's character, and then I remembered! This woman is Ginny's mother! It all made perfect sense. After that I loved your character developement and flowing style. Beautiful story.

Pax.

I am riveted. This is such a gripping beginning. Please do not abandon this story. I want to know what is going to happen. Badly. This chapter was such a tantalizing cliff hanger.

Hope you don't mind a little cc... my friends tell me to move to Antarctica sometimes. I can't think why... where was I? Oh yes! Back to the cc... I would like the story/plot to clarify itself a bit more in the near future. It is bordering on too mysterious. There can be too much of a good thing. It was very relieving to have Paravel clarified somewhat, and Eregonian's status there. As a reader I would like to have things explained a bit more, otherwise I foresee myself (and anyone equally or less intelligent) getting terribly confused.

Now for some (wild) guess work. The gold wrist band is obviously important. Honestly when I saw the title of this chapter-- Gold Bands and Striped Geraniums-- I thought it might have something to do with a wedding (the whole gold bands part that is, not the Striped geraniums.) When I reached the end I began to wonder if the special event Eregonian was called home for was his brother's marriage. Hot or Cold, maybe lukewarm? It would also hazard a guess that Shanis and Progonna are dead, and that their deaths are somehow tied to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. The chameleon-charmed rope part has me stumped... err, Eregonian is going crackerdog? (bonus author points if you know the reference)

I'm dying to know what is really bugging the hero, especially since I'm fairly sure my guesses are about twenty light-years off target. Please write more. I've heard authors-who-don't-update-their-stories-frequently hunting is banned in most parts of the world, but rules where made to be broken, right? Consider yourself warned.

Loving your story and your style! 9/10.

Pax

Author's Response: To be honest, you are not that far off from where I intend to go. I promise an explanation and more clarity in the next chapter.