Just to say, I love this whole story! It's amazing!

Now, here are my thoughts. I love how you show both Hermione's softer side and Draco's as well. I am unsure if this was written pre- or post-HBP, but it does seem to tie in with the scene in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. I also like the way that you show that Hermione doesn't want to go back to the Head Dorm - it shows a flaw in the character. Even if she's in Gryffindor and doesn't mind going off and battling Voldemort (even though that isn't in your story) she stil doesn't feel ready to go and face the boyfriend who she's arguing with.

But what I have to say is that even though you support that fact that Draco "is a sensitive boy", I don't see him getting quite that attached to Hermione. But it works here, so I'm not complaining a whole lot.

Overall, this is a well-placed and well-written chapter, and it's just an amazing piece of work!

Thanks,
Pepper Imp

I love this story! It's just so Luna-riffic, and she's like me so I really feel that I can relate to her. And I definatley related to her in this story.

"Next to her Padma Patil is collapsed against the table, giggling. I don’t understand the joke; Nargles are pesky little bugs, to be sure, but I don’t think that their death is laughable. I decide she must be laughing at something else, and it must be a very good joke. I find it quite nice to enjoy a good joke in the morning, and I’m glad that she is starting off her day so well."

I love this section – it’s pure Luna. Even though she is described as weird and dotty (as am I), she chooses to be slightly ignorant. This shows that even though they are laughing at her, she doesn’t mind and she is happy for her “friends” because they enjoy their lives.

One thing bothered me, but it wasn’t that huge.

I don’t think that she would be able to smell bacon as she neared the Great Hall. The kitchens are a while away from the kitchens, I believe.

Great story, and great characterization of Luna! :) Well done!

I think that this was amazing - though I didn't cry, I was really, really close to crying!

I would just like to say that Draco seems relativley in character throughout the entire fic - and that can be difficult. His reaction to Hermione's actions seemed in compliance with both the pre- and post-HBP Draco (I am referring to the bathroom scene where Draco's softer side if revealed, in case you were wondering. :P) However, he did wander from the Draco that we know in canon a few times, but I still think that he is a very believeable fanfic!Draco.

Secondly, I think that the song that you chose really illustrates the feelings that Draco has for Hermione, even though she has left him. The line "One thousand lies made me colder/And I don’t think I can look at this the same." really seemed to touch upon the character of Draco. Of course, in this story, we never know whether or not he followed Voldemort, but if he did, then this would definatley effect him more that any other line of the song.

Finally, the factor of the immense description of the city and the rain really made me see that Draco is, in fact, "small" like anyone else - he's not special and he still has emotions. He's just better at hiding them. And I think it was special to me because the rain has the same effect on me.

Thanks,
Pepper Imp



Author's Response: Thank you so much for the fantastic review. =]

Well done, Nan! This is the first fic that I have read by you, and I think that it is masterfully done!

I have actually never read a Rowena/Salazar fic before (or any Founders' fics, if I recall correctly) and I think that this story is a wonderful introduction. I would like to say that I feel that even though this is prose (I'm referring to this meaning: ordinary writing as distinguished from verse), it is also significantly poetic, which I believe fits both the characters and the era. I also think that the way in which the story is told is also very true to the era.

But, what I would say, is that I do not fully understand why Salazar is, I believe, either killing or seriously injuring other humans in the area. I can only infer that is is because he is trying to purge the school, and by connection, the surrounding area of half-bloods and Muggle-borns.

Following on to Rowena: I love the way that is is portrayed as someone who knows that if she doesn't do something, she is falling to her doom. I also love, love, love the way that, I believe, she "murders" Salazar. I think that it would be very fitting for both characters. I also think that the way that she covers her deed with the comforting of Godric and Helga and the way she has almost dipped to the point of darkness.

To wrap it up, I feel that this story portrays the characters, setting, and era tremendously well. All I could reccommend is to explain Salazar's actions a little bit more!

Thanks,
Pepper Imp

Author's Response: You\'re definitely right to point out that Salazar\'s motivations are extremely unclear. To tell you the truth, I\'m surprised that you were the first person to mention it! I was very unsecure about this story for just that reason, but I couldn\'t seem to work in a more explicit description of just what was going on. In my head, Salazar is performing some sort of spell requiring sacrifices, that will make him more powerful or purge the world of muggleborns, or something, but I never really thought it out all the way, which is probably the biggest flaw in this story. I was hoping that I could leave it as implicit, but I think you\'re right - if I ever come back and give the story a work-over, I\'ll definitely try and make it more explicit.

Wow, I love this story – it showed how I thought Neville would perceive Ginny if he “like-liked” her perfectly. I think that he would have done and thought all these things.

However, the formatting bugged me a little. I think that the song should either be centered or scattered throughout the story – but that’s just me, there are no set guidelines to adding songs to fics.

I must say that your characterization of Ginny is marvelous as well – I think that she is still shown as strong, yet needs someone to cry on when she needs it. And I think that that was a really important point about her relationship with Neville. She’s not his girlfriend – even though he would like her to be – but she sees him as someone close enough to cry on.

Most of all, I liked the “I’m sorry I asked you to the ball,” line. I think that it shows Neville personality best – he’d tried to make her feel better by admitting that he knew why she was sad, but it came out in the wrong words. That’s definitely our favorite clumsy Neville!

Finally, I’d like to say that your description of the hype preceding the Yule Ball and the Common Room was tremendous, and the overall description of everything was amazing – I think that your writing style is amazing! Keep up the wonderful work!


Author's Response: Thank you! thank you! I love all these reviews. They make my day. Or maybe my week. I don\'t write songfics very often, so debated about the lyrics. A friend told me that when lyrics are at the beginning, she usually skips them, and of course it isn\'t the same to go back and read them later. I didn\'t want to space them through the story because I felt that it might break the piece up too much. The only place left was at the end -- not ideal, maybe, but the only other option. Thanks for commenting on Ginny! She is indeed a very strong girl, but no one is strong enough to carry everything. Hee hee. Poor Neville. He\'s gotten better in later years at saying what he means to say, but at this point he is still a young teenaged boy. He\'s so sweet, but things don\'t always come out right. Again, thanks loads for taking the time to review! I definitely will contine to write.

Wonderful work, megan_lupin!

I must congratulate you on making me want to write a Lucius/Narcissa story myself – and only really, really good stories can make me want to write the ship.

I loved how you portrayed Lucius and Narcissa’s love as pure and true and it came about naturally, and it didn’t creep up on them from behind when they were forced together. It almost came about as it did for Lily and James – apart from the fact that Lily did loathe James in the first place. But let’s not get off topic.

I also loved how you showed Lucius’ love for Narcissa when Draco asks him to come with them to Diagon Alley – I don’t see Lucius as a man who would want to be seen with his eleven-year-old son and wife trudging around Diagon Alley for school supplies. However, I think that it was the fact that Narcissa would want him to go was what made that section so romantic even though there was no interaction between the two.

The only qualm I have about the story is the flashback which shows Lucius comforting Narcissa as she mourns the “loss” of Draco when he gets on the Hogwarts Express – I think that, in whatever circumstances, Lucius would have started exhibiting the coldness and cunning that he shows in the books. But that was the only thing.

Oh, and I must say that you really made me imagine the wealth of the Malfoys in the description of their house, their possessions, and their clothing! Bravo!

Thanks,
Pepper Imp

Starmaiden,

One word: wonderful. However, I do think that it is a bit short, but I do understand that the fact that it is derived from a drabble can make it difficult for an author to make the actual fanfic longer.

I love how you made Fleur aware of the Weasleys' dislike for her - and how she accepts it but how she reacts when Bill proposes. It also seems like her to say that she wouldn't marry him if she wouldn't be accepted into the family - I can also see her wanting to have a family with bonds like the Weasleys'. On a final note about Fleur - I think that you did a really good job on making her English speech sound like it had a heavy French accent! Bravo, that is something that I woudn't have been able to do easily.

Onto Bill - only one thing that bothers me about him. Even though everyone is extremely nervous when propsing, I don't think that Bill would be quite that nervous - or maybe he would be, just not quite that obvious. Apart from that, though, I think he is perfectly characterized - from his witty last remark about forty-fifth kisses (which reminds me of an old movie I was watching yesterday) to his way of comforting Fleur and dispelling her fears.

All in all, I think that this story is very good and is remarkably unrushed for a story of it's length - and it is wonderfully beautiful.

Thanks,
Pepper Imp

Author's Response: Thank you! Yes, it\'s short, but this is meant to be a sort of snapshot -- one moment, as it were. A really tight-knit family is a wonderful thing, but it can be daunting to break into. Fleur is very different, if not downright strange at times, so I wanted her to be able to prove herself and their love.

I love this – it’s an amazing use of Hermione’s love for the library and her need to learn who helped her.

I love the way that you have portrayed Hermione’s relationship with Harry and Ron – it shows that even though they are her best friends that she feels like they should talk about something that all girls could relate to – or at least something other than Quidditch.

For Theodore – we don’t see much of him in the books, though I think that he is remotely darker and more menacing than you have portrayed him. I also think that he is described as skinny, so I don’t think that he would have that much trouble running away from Hermione.

There were a few grammatical errors, such as missing punctuation marks, but apart from that, it was very well written. Oh, and I don’t think that Hermione would find Theo’s face “familiar” as you described it when she found him in her POV.

I loved the line “Granger, this never happened.” It was a perfect end to the fic.

Well done!

This is lovely - though I really do think that you could continue this and make it a lovely chaptered fic with this idea since there are so many places that you could take it . . . . I'd love to see that!

As for the story that is here, though, I really loved it. The characterization was wonderful - I loved Lucius's inner dialog - and I don't think that there is another character from the "Trio Era" that could pull off offering themselves to Lucius for money better than Ginny could - good choice!

If nothing else, the young witch broke the monotony of a day at the office.

This is both a wonderful line and a line that could have masses of more information and detail that would draw in readers. We know that he's quite high up in a company, but where? Does he own it (personally, I don't see Lucius working for anybody)?

Another thing that I noticed that slightly irked me was how quickly Ginny accepted that she would have to marry a man that she hates to get a treatment that may or may not help her mother to survive the bout of Dragon Pox. I think that if she initially refused, then was coaxed a little more, then came back the next day, then it would be more believable. However, considering the circumstances surrounding the Harry/Ginny relationship in both HBP and DH, I think that the way was think of single!Ginny is a bit different from relationship!Ginny, so she was still very much in character.

Finally, I’d like to say that I love, love, LOVE the line “There is passion in hatred.” It’s just so . . . . thought-evoking. It really is.

Lovely story and I hope to see more of the same kind of thing – if you wish to continue it, of course. If you don’t, then I’ll just love what I’ve already read and re-read.

-- Cammie

Author's Response: Oh! I do love lengthy, thoughtful reviews! You\'ve made my day! The original idea was for this to be a stand alone drabble, which is why I didn\'t bother more with explaining what Lucius does for a living. I thought it would detract from the focus of the story, which is really that Ginny is desperate to save her mother any way she can. I understand your resistance to the idea that Ginny would agree to a marriage so quickly. I suppose my feeling was that if she was desperate enough to come to Lucius in the first place then the leap from prostituting herself to becoming his wife is not too large. In for a penny, in for a pound and all that, right? I\'m glad you liked the passion line. That\'s my favorite, too. I am toying with the idea of continuing. I\'d intended to keep this as a one shot, but the bunny won\'t leave me alone. Unfortunately, the bunny is rather naughty, so future chapters will probably not be suitable for MNFF. If you care to, you are welcome to keep an eye on my ff.net account to watch for updates. I go by KateinVA over there. Thank you again for leaving such an excellent review!

Author's Response: Oh! I do love lengthy, thoughtful reviews! You\'ve made my day! The original idea was for this to be a stand alone drabble, which is why I didn\'t bother more with explaining what Lucius does for a living. I thought it would detract from the focus of the story, which is really that Ginny is desperate to save her mother any way she can. I understand your resistance to the idea that Ginny would agree to a marriage so quickly. I suppose my feeling was that if she was desperate enough to come to Lucius in the first place then the leap from prostituting herself to becoming his wife is not too large. In for a penny, in for a pound and all that, right? I\'m glad you liked the passion line. That\'s my favorite, too. I am toying with the idea of continuing. I\'d intended to keep this as a one shot, but the bunny won\'t leave me alone. Unfortunately, the bunny is rather naughty, so future chapters will probably not be suitable for MNFF. If you care to, you are welcome to keep an eye on my ff.net account to watch for updates. I go by KateinVA over there. Thank you again for leaving such an excellent review!