08/05/06
About me? Hmmm... I simply love The Marauders and Albus Dumbledore. They are my favourite characters in HP. I am 18 this year and my passion is for anything related to art and writing; I love drawing, designing and writing. So far, I've writen five stories, three of which are posted here. I hope to become an author of books in the near future.
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The Portrait Painter by coppercurls
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: It is England in the early 1800's, Bonapart is reigning in France and tensions between the two countries are running high. Phillip must face the secrets of his past while still surviving in the present. It takes the portrait of a remarkable girl to teach him that he can find trust in a world gone mad.
Winner of the June/July monthly challenge, #1: autobiography, and overall winner. By coppercurls of Hufflepuff house.
Date: 01/29/07 Title: Chapter 1: The Portrait Painter
This was a good story. Excellent in terms of descriptiveness and throughly amazing with the dialogue as well. Your dialogue was good, complemented the story and the era in which it was set in. But, most of all, I just loved your descriptiveness in the story. Ah,well, I have a weak spot for descriptions...The way you described things in the story was amazing. These are the lines I love, though:
I hate winters in London as passionately as I love the autumns. A grey and dreary fog hangs over the country like a giant blotter. Even the colour in my paints seems to fade into the misty nothingness, or worse, glare garishly under the harsh cold light. No, fall is my season, that last riot of tantalising hues which burst forth from every tree.
And the part about the painter's prayer was a nice touch as well. i just thought,though, since this is a story that involves magical folks, there should be a little more magic in it, maybe simple magic Martine used in her household chores and such. Wonderfully written, good work!
Author's Response: Thank you very much for your kind words. I too have a weakness for description. I understand your desire for more magic, only I feel like too many wizards use magic as a crutch, and in times when being a witch/wizard was highly suspect they would have striven to be as mugglish as possible. But perhaps that is just me. Besides, the most simple magic is done without a wand, such as turning a hank of wool into a spidersilk thread, coaxing a plant from fresh earth, or turning globs of paint into a living masterpiece. Thank you again!
Fragmentary by Noldo
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: It's all in the stories, and the way we tell them. (Regulus)
Date: 01/16/07 Title: Chapter 1: Fragmentary
I just love the way your writing flows; it almost sounds like poetry. I especially liked the description about Sirius-all intelligence and explosive temper and quite possibly madness. That was very true about Sirius' character. I liked reading this. A very good piece of work.
Poison Rationality by StaceyLC
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: Snape is recuited to Romania to aide Charlie Weasley in preparing dragons for the TriWizard tournament. While there, however, Charlie develops a very strange and deadly illness, and Snape must somehow find a way to get him to St. Mungo's in time.
Entered for the Gauntlet "Journey to St. Mungo's" challenge by StaceyLC of Hufflepuff house.
Date: 01/20/07 Title: Chapter 1: Poison Rationality
The magical terms and objects you use in this story make the story seem all the more real.Good work on that one. Snape's characterisation was good and I especially liked Dumbledore's meeting with Snape. That was rather hilarious. I just thought you could have been a little more descriptive in certain parts of the story, for example, how the interior of the abandoned house looked like and such. Overall though, great work!
-Wulfric Brian Dumbledore
Author's Response: True, but it was done for the Gauntlet Challenge, and to be honest, I just wanted to get parts of it done and get it to my guide, because I was REALLY behind. I\'m glad you liked it, though! :D
Of Coloured Pencils and Plastic Bags by Sirenny
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: So many children had passed through her class in the small Primary School of Little Whinging, and Miss. Morrison liked to think she remembered them all. The shy ones, who hid behind their mothers legs or curled up in their fathers protective arms; the boisterous ones, who ran in small, never ending circles with boundless energy. The smart ones and the ones who struggled, sometimes bravely and sometimes with tears and tantrums. The short ones and the tall ones, the sweet and the mischievous; they were all special to her, in their own way, and they all earned themselves a special place in her memories. All of them, that is, except for one.
Date: 01/17/07 Title: Chapter 1: Of Coloured Pencils and Plastic Bags
That was a different idea for a story and the description of Harry, thin and frail, how he held his colour pencils as if they were his prized possessions was and the mention that he carried them around in a plastic bag...amazingly touching and moving. A wonderful one-shot.
Beautiful Disaster by wishmyhairwasred
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Ginny reflects on Harry the night before Bill's and Fleur's wedding, and contemplates their past and present relationship.One-shot. A (somewhat) happy ending. Please review!
it has come to my attention that there are some other fanfics recently published that have the same title and song...i checked and they are very different than mine, so read it anyways, please!
Wow! people have favorited me and my story! Thanks!
Date: 12/23/06 Title: Chapter 1: Beautiful disaster
I think it's a nice piece of writing. I like the way you put the song into the story and how nicely the lyrics were connected to Ginny's feelings as well. There were a few typos though, i think. Anyway, enough of the rambling. Great job, keep going!
Author's Response: thanks...it\'s kind of odd having people reading your writing...you feel a bit watched. i read your dream wedding story a while back and really liked that one. yeah, i did notice some typos...oh well. i thought it was ok for my first-ever attempt. thanks for the support!
Sixth Sense by HPwizzzard
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Dumbledore has just died, and a relationship (or lack thereof) between two members of the Order of the Phoenix has been revealed. Hermione Granger decides something has to be done. Can she help bring a little more love to the world?
Date: 12/25/06 Title: Chapter 1: A Closed Book
A short and sweet piece of writing! I especially liked the part where you described love, as in the part about how Ginny looks at Harry and all that. If you left some space between the paragraphs, it would make reading easier,though.
Author's Response: Thank you! Not the time to mention that I strongly oppose Harry/Ginny, is it? I don\'t know what happened to my spacing... can\'t fix it till break\'s over.
Charming Bubblehead Christmas by Spottedcat
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Remus goes with Sirius to James and Lily's Christmas party, despite his misgivings and his head-cold.
Date: 01/18/07 Title: Chapter 1: Charming Bubblehead Christmas
Was it suspicion that Remus was a servant of the Dark Lord that James had in him towards Remus? Aww, poor Remus. A light, nice Christmas story to read. I especially liked this part:
“All right. But this had better be worthwhile, Sirius. I’m not in the mood for...”
“...passing along germs, yes, I know it, for the twenty-third time.” Sirius whipped his wand out of his sleeve. “Let me think.”
“Please do. That’s my head you’re aiming at.”
Rather hilarious.I also loved Dumbledore's presence here. Nicely written.
Author's Response: Well, thank you!
Yeah, I think I should do a little more with this theme. It\'s kind of interesting.
It's a Dog's Life by Lurid
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Sirius Black is travelling the streets of Hogsmeade, starving when he comes across a dear friend who once helped him.
Set during Goblet of Fire, Sirius realises how grateful it is to have a friend who will save your life when you're in dire need...
Date: 01/18/07 Title: Chapter 1: Being Lead Astray
A very light and entertaining read;your story gives me an idea of how Sirius may have passed his life in the form of a dog. I especially liked the part on Mopsy's Patronus. Good work on that one!
Author's Response: Thank you! I like writing deleted scenes, seeing as I love reading them so much :)
Think Pink by Angel Feathers
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: A poem from Tonks POV.
When you feel alone,
And darkness tortures your pain,
When the world seems like it’s dying on the brink,
Think of me my love,
Think Pink.
Date: 01/18/07 Title: Chapter 1: Think Pink
Nice! I especially liked these lines
Think of me my love,
Think Pink.
The title also suits the poem very nicely. Good work!
Author's Response: Thanks - the title just popped into my head. Thanks again!
Date: 01/18/07 Title: Chapter 1: Think Pink
Nice! I especially liked these lines
Think of me my love,
Think Pink.
The title also suits the poem very nicely. Good work!
Author's Response: Thanks!
New Beginnings by Ron x Hermione
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: Ron and Hermione are in love, and nothing can stop their relationship. Or so they thought.
A terrible tragedy happens in Ron’s family. The two try to sort out their problems. But Ron just doesn’t have the will to pick up the pieces. Will he have the strength to carry on? And will Hermione help him through it?
Excerpt:
She finally pulled away. “Are you alright? Do you need anything? Because I can just-”
Ron shook his head slowly, not even looking at her. He was in a daze. Hermione gave him a weak smile. “You’re really taking this hard, aren’t you?” she asked him gently. She put a soft hand on his shoulder.
Ron turned to look at her with an angry and hurt expression on his face. “Hard? HARD?” he yelled. He pushed her arm away.
Hermione almost gasped. This man didn’t sound like Ron at all. She hadn’t meant to offend him in any way.
This was originally written for the February One-Shot Challenge. I am Ron x Hermione, of Hufflepuff.
Date: 02/01/07 Title: Chapter 1: New Beginnings
That was a nice story. The theme of facing hardships together and getting through it is also good. Your dialogues had good flow. Overall, it was a good story, but I would like to point out certain things that can make your story even better.Firstly, I think Harry wouldn't sob when he hears about Mr. Weasley and Mrs. Weasley's death. Secondly, maybe you could be more descriptive in certain parts of the story, for example, describe Ron's feelings about his parents' death a little more. Your description of how Harry felt about Mr and Mrs Weasley was great. Good work on that one. I especially loved these lines in your story:
She hugged him tightly; afraid that if she let go that she would lose him forever.
And they would:
Together.
Great work on the story and do keep up the writing. I am fellow Hufflepuff as well!
Author's Response: Thank you SO much for all of your lovely compliments! They make me feel really special when someone is happy with my writing. I\'m glad that you liked those excerpts. This was really fun to write!
*giggles* *waves to fellow puff*
~Lindsey :)
Seven To Slay by Just Tink
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: The Seven Hallows were created for good, and for ages they did the bidding of good- but when they turn to the side of evil they are unstoppable... Written for the New Year's Challenge- Deathly Hallows by Just Tink of Hufflepuff.
Date: 02/15/07 Title: Chapter 1: Seven To Slay
I think you did a wonderful job in taking the unexplained bits in the books and expanding on them to create a story. For example, we don't know the Dementor's origins; it is not mentioned in the books. You made use of that and brought in the hallows as the Dementor's creator. That was very clever.
I think your storyline is good and all of it makes complete sense. I think that these few linies in your story were especially good:
We had been named Hallows because we were ‘heavenly swallows’, as the men in long white robes called us. We did not know what a swallow was, but we knew heavenly, and the heavenly part of us died when we took on Deathly.
Your ending, especially, made this a good one-shot.
I just thought that maybe you could have elaborated more on certain things in the story: how the hallows looked like when they were created and how they looked when became the 'Deathly Hallows', that would give a clearer picture. You could also have described how the men in white robes looked.
You have set the cold, dark mood for the story well. I just think it would be even better if you could include descriptions on the war. You could describe it in words like ‘screams of anguish echoed through the streets, pain and terror rode with us to assist us, to weaken, to kill…’. Or something like that. That would set an even darker mood in my opnion.
I also think that Voldemort wouldn't give his plans away so easily to anyone; he likes to operate alone. I think it is a little unlikely for Voldemort to tell the hallows his plans, but that's just me. I’m no expert , so forgive me for the rambling. Overall, I think this is a great story on your view of the Deathly Hallows.
Author's Response: what a great review! I\'m glad you liked it. The thing about Voldemort telling the Hallows is that while I agree he wouldn\'t tell people, the Hallows aren\'t really people... but that\'s my opinion. thanks for the review!
Date: 03/06/07 Title: Chapter 1: The Extra Mile
I thought it was short and sweet, just like you mentioned in the summary. After I finished reading the poem, I had an impression that it was a very light read, though that by no means that has no depth. I am just saying that you managed to capture the poem and set it on paper in a very light mood, even with the emotions involved in it. I think you did a good job in setting the mood of the poem.
That's what I think, I am no expert on poetry though. Hope you catch my drift. : )
Sweet Sorrow by lucilla_pauie
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: Prim-and-proper-and-tough Lily.
She was only shaken once.
Not by James’s romance, nor by Voldemort’s evil antics, but by that little joyous miracle called ‘motherhood’. And in her case, it had nothing to do with erratic hormones and mood swings.LucillaJoanna of Hufflepuff tells in this story how the mother of a destined hero feels, her perplexity of whether To Laugh or Cry.
Not your regular Lily/James story. Originally an entry to the Spring Challenges.
~dedicated to my fab bannermaker friend, Edwina (Wulfric Brian Dumbledore/blacsilver_serpent)
Date: 05/26/07 Title: Chapter 1: Sweet Sorrow
Hi, friend ! Thank you for your wonderful dedication. : ) On to the review,
A lot of things could do this to a woman, upset our inner workings like a trunk thrown from a train: stress, nerves, anxiety, flurry.
How very true, Joanna. Well-said.
No child deserved to live in these times, when every moment their innocent little adventures could be cut short by the tip of some lunatic’s wand.
I liked the way you phrased this. It was descriptive yet sounded as if Lily was truly speaking to herself.
The way you changed phrases used in the daily lives of Muggles to suit the wizarding world was also clever:
Speak of the goblin; he could appear at the most inconvenient times, couldn’t he…
It also never occured to me how James might hide his wand in his cuffs while performing wandless magic. The way you wrote made Lily seem cynical and fitted her character wonderfully.
“Padfoot’s not pretty and sexy.”
‘You may kiss the bride.’ As if James needed permission.
That was funny! : )
Remus, ever the gentleman.
I think you did well with this, portraying Sirius and James as if they are still boys and Remus as a man.Good characterisation there.
You tied the prompt nicely with the story at the end.
Overall, it was a good read. I think you managed to portray the times when Lily was pregnant very well and the way James and Lily lived without overdoing anything. I just have one tiny suggestion...Maybe your story would have been even better if you included more description in between the dialogues, i.e, description on how Dumbledore's office looked, how Lily looked in her dress and perhaps how James' expression was when he was abotu to kiss her...things like that..
That's just my opinion, though, You're the author my friend, and maybe you intended it to be this way. You know best. ; )
Keep up the great writing, Joanna.
You go, girl! *grabs pom-poms and cheers*
Author's Response: Wow. This is the best review I\'ve received so far! You should apply for SPEW, dear. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Edwina! There\'s nothing better than detail-by-detail praise and critiquing! You made my day all over again after that fab banner you made me.
To your suggestions, don\'t think I didn\'t see it either, this is quite a dialogue typhoon, isn\'t it? But you see, the story is entirely in Lily\'s perspective so I thought it wouldn\'t be right to make her narrate to herself places familiar to her like Dumbledore\'s office. I did describe the cottage, though. And as for James, you\'re right about that! Pity I can\'t edit this now, but still, I wanted to focus on their dilemma, not their romance. So I forewent some sparksy details.
Again, thanks for this heartening review, sis! And for the cheerdance! ^_^