I am 23 years old and I still love Harry Potter and I cherish the fact that so many brilliant writers continue to bless me with their fanfiction by submitting their ideas each and every day.
Even as a young child Snape had no peace. That's just awful and to lose the only person he cared about.. I can already start to see why he would turn to the dark arts. This makes for a very interesting complication when it comes to Severus' ability to love.
Oh how interesting that Laurel knew of Severus in school. (and she was a Hufflepuff yay!) I loved the whole atmosphere of him sitting on his rock by the lake lol. It is lucky for Severus Laurel is so forward otherwise he could have missed out on such a wonderful and passionate connection. I do hope nothing awful happens to Laurel though. I look forward to reading an update and to seeing what stubborn Severus' next move is. :)
This was a very interesting fiction. It never even occurred to me to write about the QWC in a muggle perspective. I liked that you chose to write in diary entries and that she chose to get rid of it in the end. Although, I wonder what would happen if someone found it? You could write another one-shot about someone finding the diary. That would be interesting. The ministry are in trouble though arn't they? They should have been so much more careful not to let a muggle girl witness all these strange and terrifying things. But like you said 'no one ever notices her'. I was rather amused at Corrie's references to her relatives. I especially liked that Aunt Nellie always tells her not to swear. :) I hope one of the ministry officials was nice enough to fix up her poor father's 'panda' face :) Great Job!
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing... yes, I could write a sequel I guess ;), but later I guess because I'm currently working on two one-shots simultaneously called At the Brockdale Bridge and Alastair Potter... thanks anyhow!
That was a good start. I like that we have already been given something to wonder about. The letter? Hmm..I'm interested. As for Ginny's behaviour, well only Ron could be silly enough not to realise what's going on with her.
I like that you have written Ron as pretty much oblivious to everything happening around him because it is very like Ron to be so confused.
Everyone seemed rather in character so that was enjoyable. I don't think Hermione would have hexed the twins like she did, especially with Mrs Weasley under the same roof, but besides that I liked how she was portrayed.
This line in particular got my attention. "Hermione’s voice slowly lost some of its clarity, and she began murmuring to herself." She seems to go off onto a tangent a lot and when I read that she had started babbling about some kind of German disease I couldn't help but giggle to myself.
Before I forget I want to comment on how creepy/weird it was when Ron stole Hermione's toast. Can anyone say 'obsession'? I think Ron's behaviour either means that he is on the way to loonyville or that he is in love with Hermione. Personally, I like the second explanation. :) Well done.
(P.S I love the title to the story *snickers*)
Author's Response: D: Alot of people thought that the whole toast factor was somewhat creepy. Ron is a fun character to write about, I love silly people like that. I also really love when readers mention their favorite lines or paragraphs or scenes. I get annoyed when readers just go, \"Cool. Update.\", which I myself am guilty of doing. (Yes, I\'m a hypocrite.)
F: I CAN SAY OBSESSION!!!!!! As my \"darlin sister\" says, i\'m obsessed with sayin obsession! It\'s not often that we both reply to a review, meanin we LUV yours! Thanks for the appreciation, we\'ll try to update soon but we\'re having a few technical difficulties, sorry about that! We\'re working them out. Personally, I prefer to think that Ron\'s being chucked in the loony bin, but hey, what the reader says goes! BTW, we love your story! Thanks for the review!
Gah! I still don't know who the letter is from.
I agree with Hermione, de-gnoming the garden does sound quite barbaric, but pests are pests so it's a good thing Ron got rid of them. I loved the poor 'desiccated gnome' that bared his gums; I actually snorted rather than giggled when I read about him.
I really enjoyed the ''Unfortunately, this is not what happened.'' part. I love it when you have Ron doing these little role plays through his head it is rather amusing.
Keep up the good work you two!
Author's Response: D: I also love when people review once for each separate chapter! Again, I love how you mentioned your favorite parts. Several people thought the \"Unfortunately, this is not what happened\" was cute.
F: Don\'t worry your head about the letter, at least you got Ginny, which some readers actually haven\'t figured out. Thanks for the role play appreciation, we\'ll try to put more of that stuff in in later chapters. Thanks for the review!
I believe what Cinderella Angelina has written follows my thoughts very closely. You are a talented writer and you have wonderful description and characterization. I just wanted to say that I especially liked the way you used the line : “Come into the light,” she begged. ... I was totally fascinated by the fact that it meant more than just a simple step forward. That she was asking him to leave the Dark Lord. Congratulations on conveying such ideas to perfection. I do enjoy reading a good one-shot every now and then. :)
Author's Response: Arwwww. Thank you very much! You've made me smile!
The quote "Come into the light" is 100% stolen from Beauty in the Beast - it's my favourite line from my favourite disney. In fact, this whole story has been slightly influenced by that movie because I do see some kind of strange similarities between it and Hermione/Snape.
Thank you again. Glad you enjoyed it!
Oh what a great twist. I think the girls need to find out just what boys have to go through to ask someone on a date...but still the problems won’t be the same. I doubt you see groups of boys hanging out whispering and giggling and such when a girl approaches hehe...but I am definitely liking the idea. Also, I loved Ron's teddy PJ’s it was very cute. Oh and Professor McGonagall’s first explanation attempt and the students blank *hear crickets in background* type reaction was quite funny too. :) Onto chapter two then.
Author's Response: How perceptive of you! I pictured the crickets myself when I was writing that part.
Well they totally ruined Ginny's plans, but they also made up by themselves so that was good. I definitely liked the post it note idea. Glue would be a bit uncomfortable after all. Now I am just left wondering what they are going to wear! I mean Fred and George bought Ron new dress robes didn't they? I hope so ... :)
Author's Response: You seem to be inside my mind somehow - so strange! Yes, Fred and George are \"nice\" enough to buy Ron new robes. I\'m sure that, by now, you know why I write \"nice\" instead of nice.
Fabulous chapter! I was grinning most of the way through. I loved the 'Leaning tower of Weasley' hair, oh and while I remember in that same line you have an extra 'a' that shouldn't be there, anyway, moving onwards. The 'illicitly smuggled sequins' had me laughing quite hard too. The Ronski Faint is a really clever idea. I was so excited because I picked up on what was going on before 'Harry' realised. :) My most favourite line in this chapter had to be “Oh, Ron, I would love you...' it was very sweet. Also I just want to say how spectacular the ballroom was described; the picture in my head was wonderful. However, if it were me, I think I would be worrying about the running water making me need to pee lol...note to self: don’t say pee...(oops I did it again) :D Fantastic work!
Author's Response: You did?! Hooray! I was really hoping that the reader got the the \"Aha!\" moment before Harry did. It gives you a real sense of sleuth-like satisfaction, doesn\'t it?
And about the ballroom... I must say that this chapter made me feel very much like Jo Rowling herself. I had to map out and draw a good many things to make everything make sense in my head. Although I\'m unsure if I still have it, I had constructed a pretty elaborate set-up / floorplan for the ballroom. It helped to pin down the visual details and to get myself excited enough to write about it.
Oh that was heart wrenching! Everytime someone went back to see him I felt more and more empty inside. I was worried something awful would happen before Ginny could say goodbye.
It was all so believable. Everyone gathered around, worrying. It was like I was in the waiting room with them, receiving the news, waiting to see poor Harry.
You did an excellent job with the atmosphere and really got my emotions going. I nearly didn't want to stop reading long enough for a review, so now I am off to read the next chapter!
Oh good we have 'flahed back'. I was worried I wasn't going to know anything about how they got to the point of Harry laying half dead in a hospital, but it seems I will find out everything. Excellent!
The details of the sorting and the HG HB choices was a good way to get into the swing of things. Malfoy approaching Ginny on the Hogwarts Express was a little creepy though!
I look forward to seeing how Ginny's year progresses.
You have got to be joking! Where on earth did Harry learn to be so calm and cool about kissing a girl. If they kiss...well I hope they kiss! I mean maybe it was all the adrenaline building up or something.
I have to mention how cute it is that Ginny's ears turn red like Ron's. I also loved the whole scenario Ginny had dreamt up in classes. The goody two shoes in me hopes that Ginny doesn't waste all her lessons daydreaming though!