The story is progressing well. I was disappointed that JKR disposed of Hermione's parents so summarily in HPDH. I felt that Hermione's character development suffered as a result. You are raising some of the issues that JKR glossed over.
However, this chapter was not one of your better ones. The scene where Maude sits and reviews her relationship with her daughter was too long. You should keep the action moving and give us the back story in bits and flashes. You did much better with Travis.
Author's Response: That was something I struggled with. The problem is that there\'s not much happening with Maude at this point. She\'s a captive, left sitting in the dark, so of course she\'s going to think. Much more of the story involves Travis and Hermione\'s interaction and relationship, and so I\'m able to spread things out across several chapters. With Maude\'s plotline, there\'s much less movement and action. She\'ll show up again later, and she still has a pivotal role to play. The mid-story hump is pretty much out of the way now. Thanks for taking the time out to review. In the words of Groucho Marx, \"They can\'t all be gems, folks. You just have to follow along.\"
This is a wonderful story. I like the way you have filled out some of the canon characters like Kingsley and Tonks.Your backstory of Hermione's family is perfect. Now that I've read it, it's hard for me to imagine her coming from any other kind of home.
Author's Response: Glad you liked it. This is why I like fanficition so much: you get to fill in the holes JKR leaves in her narrative. And I\'m very glad I was able to make something you find so believable.
Of course it had to be the Pink Toad! Who else would have just the right mixture of malevolence and incompetence? You even mentionned her name at least twice in previous chapters. Very nice work.
Author's Response: Thanks! I really tried to hint at who it was without being totally obvious. I think I might have actually accomplished it. *pats self on back* Thanks for the feedback.
Congratulations on a well written story. Your characterization and suspense building is excellent. I think is know "whodunnit." Vernon obviously had a hand in it but he would need a witch or wizard to cast the charm. So, who is there in the magical world who might actually get along with Vernon?
Author's Response: You have just asked the question of the day! Will it be answered in the next chapter? Only time will tell....
Well written but a bit disappointing. Harry deserved a more dignified death. A tragic hero shouldn't meet his end through a minor slip up and die thinking , "Oops, I shouldn't have done that." He should be crushed by overwhelming odds or undone by a serious mistake which flows from a tragic flaw in his character.
Author's Response: You put it so eloquently: \"Oops, I shouldn\'t have done that.\" All I can say is that I hope chapter 35 will alleviate your disappointment.
An excellent chapter, but I do have one small quibble. Dumbledore is very strict about addressing people with proper respect. (He insists that Harry refer to Snape as Professor Snape.) He would not have addressed Fudge by his first name during a trial. He would have used 'Minister' or 'Mr. Fudge.'
Author's Response: Thank you for the review. I understand what you\'re saying about Dumbledore using Fudge\'s first name, but it actually is something I did on purpose as a somewhat subtle method of reminding Fudge of his place. Of course, you\'re free to disagree with me on that one, as it\'s really a matter of opinion. I\'m glad you\'re reading carefully enough to notice that sort of thing, though.