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mrsmcclnt [Contact]
11/04/06

onthehorizon101.com


Single working mother living in the suburbs.

Old Slytherin ghost that lurks in the Commons. Nikki Sue and Viv remembers me in my youth

Still a writer at heart,





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Stories by mrsmcclnt [2]
Favorite Authors [6]
Favorite Stories [14]
mrsmcclnt's Favorites [20]
Reviews by mrsmcclnt


One Chance by blacsilver_serpent

Rated: 6th-7th Years •
Summary: One marriage. Two people. Countless problems.







The truest test of love is not being able laugh together during easy times but to deal with blow after crushing blow during the most difficult moments. Bill and Fleur are now married to each other. Tension and friction arise between them.







Suspicion. Inconfidence. Anger. Bitterness.







When all these feelings boil beneath the surface, when opinions collide and when another’s fidelity is questioned, will Bill and Fleur’s love prevail? Will their marriage break and stay apart or will their love last? Is Fleur truly ‘good-looking enough’ for both Bill and herself? Read and find out.







Rating is for a sensitive issue in the story.







I am Wulfric Brian Dumbledore over at the forums, from Hufflepuff.This is written for the February One-Shot Challenge.



Reviewer: mrsmcclnt Signed
Date: 07/17/08 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

*sniffs*

But you know, I cry because it brings up a lot of things that couples go through these days. I use to be in a relationship like that. He was a good man, I love him still, but we just had a lot more wrong going for us then right. But there as a point with us where was unemployed for a long time (blame the economy and the job market) and I was still working. And he hated being dependant on me. Hated it. So he would do these little outside "jobs" to try and take care of his needs and our child.

I never saw a problem in giving him money when he needed it. But male pride somehow stands in the way. Cause it's very emasculating for a man to not do what he was meant to do on this earth. Wait, let me rephrase that : It's very emasculating for a real man to not do what he was meant to do on this earth.

Just wanted to clarify that for all the Dead beats who might be reading this.

I must say your imagery in this story out does itself. Especially here at the height of the argument:

Outside, the sun is making its magnificent and majestic escape.


I get sense, as Bill was looking at the sunset, that he was wanting to escape with it… to get away from all the nagging and screaming that Fleur had been doing.

Your characterization between the two is very on spot. Especially of Fleur when she talks about "other woman". The fact that she won't bring her up because she feels that no one is better then her is so very like that French tart. Being part Veela, she feels that beauty could not be challenged. So for her to bring it up, is like facing some competiotion that shouldn't be there. And you get a strong sense that her ego just can't handle someone else being prettier or better than her.

And Bill is on point to. Being the older Weasley, he doesn't strike me as mischievous as the Twins or Ron, but not uptight like Percy. So to have him there brooding silently at the edge of the bed as his wife flies into her tirade seem so like him and so like what most men would do.

I also love what you say here when she tells him about the baby:

At first, there was a sudden, light feeling like a bubble rising within me, like the prickle of summer rain on my skin…happiness?


You brought home how deep rooted his depression is through this passage by showing us that he doesn't recognize happiness. Wonderful.

But how you tied it up in the end was great. For a moment there, I thought there as truly "another woman" in the story. But from your explanation, it made sense and made for a great happy ending. I just think that this is a beautiful love story, cause it deals with some real issues that some people (at one point or another) can truly relate too.


I'm glad you wrote this



Asphyxiating the life by Hokey

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: Honourable mention
in the March One-shot Challenge: Tales of Albus Dumbledore! =D *squeee!*
Reviewer: mrsmcclnt Signed
Date: 05/11/07 Title: Chapter 1: Asphyxiating the life

Wow!


Since Dumbledore never told the story to Harry, we were left clueless as to how his hand was injured.


But you've filled in gaps quite well with enough detail and imagery.


It is worthy of an Honorable Mentioned, even though it should have taken First Place.


But that's the Slyth in me talking.


Good job!!

Author's Response: Hehe, we wouldn\'t be in the best house in the world otherwise, now would we? =P I\'m glad you think I managed; I\'m so curious as to what happened to Dumbledore\'s hand and now we\'ll probably never know for sure =( Anyway, thanks for reading and thank you so much for your nice review! <3!



Not Yet Discouraged by Seren

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: 'Death does not see colours, or Houses, or family lineage. Blood tastes the same, no matter whose veins it pours from. But still, Harry and his friends plunged on, fighting their way to the Great Hall, fighting for the freedom of you. Of me, Of all those who fought, and all those who cowered in silence. My children have always understood that sacrifices must be made.' A young boy, scared and confused, learns of the Last Battle of Harry Potter from the most unusual of voices.
Reviewer: mrsmcclnt Signed
Date: 07/26/07 Title: Chapter 1: Not Yet Discouraged

Just simply beautiful.

They way you have the room address the students as her children was enduring and marvelous.

I don't know what else to say other than that.



Blind Winter by Lurid

Rated: Professors •
Summary: When the winter brings more than a chill riding upon a snowflake, the steely bite of the cold does considerably less than satiate the warmth that is craved. The flurry that passes through the windows and skitters along the floor in a whirlwind can only be observed, it cannot be joined.
Reviewer: mrsmcclnt Signed
Date: 05/18/07 Title: Chapter 1: With a fever of 43 she surrendered

I am blown away by the amount of passion in this story.

I hate that this is a one-shot, but God bless you for writting it anyways!! Sometimes a good story just needs to be told whether its a chaptered story or not.

Author's Response: If you\'re back here and looking at this review, please contact me! I\'d love to talk to you more about the development of the story :).



A Labyrinth of the Mind by dumbledorefluertwins

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Harry has a task to do in the Department of Mysteries. But, curiosity gets the better of him, and he wanders off...



A Gauntlet submission from apollo13 of Slytherin house. :D
Reviewer: mrsmcclnt Signed
Date: 05/22/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I love this too. Interesting how you worked your prompts. And I love how you wrote it in his POV. I would have never thought to write mine like that.

Author's Response: Lol, thanks! **Is happy** ~Evie



Unquenchable by fawkes_07

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Fawkes the Phoenix is sent on an errand. Written for the Gauntlet challenge #4.
Reviewer: mrsmcclnt Signed
Date: 05/22/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I love this part:

I begin to appreciate the concept of swear words.

You have a way with words! Great story. The orginality of this puts you ahead of the pack!.


Author's Response: *snerk* Well, it would be nice to win some house points--let\'s hope the judges think like you!



Frozen by Sarakime

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: "Cold without you...
Never let me go.
"
It started out as watching, simply watching her while she peacefully slept in the common room. But slowly, for him, it turned into so much more - something that shaped his life. Draco Malfoy never would have imagined that Hermione Granger would've had such an affect on him - never would've thought he needed her so much.

Originally written as a drabble for FFTF OWL Romance Class.
Reviewer: mrsmcclnt Signed
Date: 10/24/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I agree with what FeatherTrader said in her review. Some Dramione fics can seem rather forced and somewhat OOC. That's why it so hard to find a good, well written one that stays within the realms of what we know of Draco and Hermione.

I love this very descriptive fic. I love the way that Draco finds peace in the way Hermione sleeps. Its as if his heart is trying to find some rest of its own. But I also like the mixture of fear that he displays for being caught with her. But not "caught" in the sense that he's holding her hand, but caught in the notion of what people would think of his pompas ass for falling in love with a Mudblood. Especially the Mudblood that he is most vocal about.

And then in the end, when he tries to get her hand back, cause he desperately wants to feel that warmth again. Very moving and touching.


I'm ashamed of myself for not reading this sooner.

This goes straight into my favorites.



Flibbertigibbet by Hermione_Rocks

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Narcissa Black is called a word that she does not know the definition of. Curious to find out the meaning, she strikes up a conversation with Severus Snape.



A light, short piece showing a snippet of Narcissa's time at Hogwarts.
Reviewer: mrsmcclnt Signed
Date: 06/22/07 Title: Chapter 1: Flibbertiggibet

I loved that you wrote this in Narcissa's POV. It gives me and the readers some great insight to her feelings during the whole fic. It's amazing how you wrote her to be so high minded yet so stupid at the same time.

You did an amazing job of keeping Snape in character. I loved how you had him stare her down, as if he were using Legilimens to read her thoughts. Then, it was a truly a Snapish reaction when he caught her in the lie. Very well done.

I also loved how you ended the story too. It just goes to show that Narcissa would rather save face in front of her friends instead of letting others continue to make a fool out her.

It was enjoyable to read.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your lovely review. I had a lot of fun with this story, with both Narcissa and Severus. :D



Her Broken Wings by Pepper Imp

Rated: 6th-7th Years •
Summary: Carmen Isabella Reid has come back to school for her fifth year. But she finds that the school isn't as enjoyable as it used to be: Carmen's growing feelings for the resident Potions Master are getting harder to conceal...



Part 1 of my "See the Sky" Trilogy

Rated for later chapters.
Reviewer: mrsmcclnt Signed
Date: 10/09/07 Title: Chapter 1: Clipped Wings

I like this chapter. I love how you lay the foundation for us by introducing Carmen's little character traits.

I can see that she is a rebel of sorts but not in an emo-ish way. I get this feeling that she's trying to stand out from the pristine and privilege life that her parents has surrounded her with. From her short black hair (directly opposite of her mother's long blonde curls) to her short short skirt and converser, I feel like she's trying to be her own person instead of being fitted into a mold with an "exquisite and high-maintenance" hairstyle that her parent's are trying to stuff her in.

I also get this feeling that she has this thirst to prove herself to others and her family. You can see that in the argument that she has with them as Flitwick's letter comes in suggesting extra lessons. But as much as she wants to prove them wrong, I can see how her pride steps in the way from the scene with her bedroom door.

The flash backs with the lake and the pixies is very interesting. Can't wait to read more!


Author's Response: Thanks! :)



Reviewer: mrsmcclnt Signed
Date: 10/09/07 Title: Chapter 2: Unbending

I like seeing how down to earth Carmen is. I see how she likes to irk her parents by hanging out with the lower class (elves, mudbloods, etcs.). And I can see that she likes simpler things instead of extravagance from the way you talk about her bracelets. But despite the words and harsh feelings, I still get the notion that she does have a tender spot for her Mom and Dad.

"She missed her mother’s embraces; she ignored the constant criticism."

Her friendship with Amber (a mublood and a Gryffindor) shows that Carmen is not a typical Slytherin with pureblood prejudices. I love the conversation they where Amber is trying to hook Carmen up with someone. After having an argument (almost a fight) with Malfoy (after he insults her) Amber thinks that Carmen should hook up with him!

So funny, since you'd think that would be the last person she would want to see her with.

But the juiciest tidbit in this story is that CARMEN HAS A CRUSH ON SNAPE! This alone will have me reading to the very end

Keep writing.

Author's Response: Ooh, thankees! You\'ve made my day! *goes off to do homework with a HUGE grin*



Coloring the Darkness by Sarakime

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Draco Malfoy is unpacking with his wife to start his new life at Malfoy Manor, but is angered when bad childhood memories fill his mind. Will Draco be able to let go of the bad memories in order to make happy ones?



Written for the June One-Shot Patronus Challenge by Sarakime of Slytherin (even though the summary does not imply that).


Reviewer: mrsmcclnt Signed
Date: 07/16/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1


I loved that you started off the story with Draco reminding about his mother. It's good to show his love of her so that the reader can better understand his love her Hermione. My mother always says, "If you want to know how a man will treat you, watch how he treats his mother."

I love the playfulness between Draco and Hermione. It hints back to how they use to tease each other at school, except this time around it has a new meaning behind it. That's nice and very romantic. But it's also believable, cause it shows how they've gotten over the past to start this new adventure of their marriage.

The panther represent Draco very well, according to the explanation you gave. Plus, the reasoning behind Draco selecting a different memory whenever he produced one suits him since we know how happiness has eluded Draco.

It's good to see him making new memories and cherishing them so that he can reproduce his patronus



Author's Response: Thank you so much for your awesome review, Marsha!! *huggles* Witty!Dramione is <3. Thanks for the review!



Demented by Phoenix5225

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Thanks to a brilliant theory/plot bunny from POTCgirl1337 over on the beta forums, this little one-shot emerged. What exactly happened when Dudley was attacked by the Dementors?
Reviewer: mrsmcclnt Signed
Date: 08/14/07 Title: Chapter 1: Demented

I love reading other people's takes on things.

I just wrote a drabble on Dudley getting his acceptance letter into Hogwarts. Petunia actually approved of his going in my story. But you made and interesting argument in yours.

No wonder why they spoiled the boy so much.

Interesting fic....



Behind Every Strong Man... by Phoenix5225

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: For Andrea's fabulous August One-Shot Challenge - the trial of Lucius Malfoy. It probably has more Muggle influence than wizarding, but what can I say - I'm a huge Law & Order fan.


I am Phoenix5225 of Hufflepuff, entering for participation points only. :-)

Reviewer: mrsmcclnt Signed
Date: 08/14/07 Title: Chapter 1: A Stronger Woman

Yes.

The defense had a very powerful and moving argument. As a parent, I can understand the defense's case. If I hadn't read books 1 - 6, then I could almost believe in the Malfoy's innocents - that they did what they did for the sake of their son.

And just when I thought that Narcissia would have gotten caught in a lie with her Legilimency, you turned things around with:

Do you think, given the strong emotional bond between a mother and her only son that I would have made the best teacher?”

That synched the verdict for me. It's no wonder he got away with it.

Your writing style is simple yet very descriptive. I love how people can word things to get their point across.
Like here:

Morris felt movement in his groin. God he wanted that woman.

You went deep there with his lust. It was bold (very bold), but I love that cause it got to the point of his feelings for her.

Great Job.



A Day at the Spa by Nevilles Girl

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary:
Dear Mister Snape,
We are very pleased to present you with this once in a lifetime offer: A free day at Deena’s Magical Day Spa! Just Apparate to the address below and present this coupon to redeem your prize! We hope to see you there!
Sincerely,
Deena’s Magical Day Spa

Reviewer: mrsmcclnt Signed
Date: 10/24/07 Title: Chapter 1: A Day at the Spa

** LOL***

** LOL **

Oh my goodness!!..... This was just wonderful!! And you picked a great BETA in Schmergo to do this with you!!

*puts story into favorites*

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review and the add! By the way, you are absolutely right about having Schmergo beta this story for me. She\'s great! *hugs Schmergo*



The Moon and the Sun by Love_is_4ever

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary:
You and I, that’s like talking about the sun and the moon: even though they share the skies, they can’t be together at the same time...


What happens when your most precious possession is taken from you? This is the story of the life of Rowena Ravenclaw, one of the cleverest witches of her time. But she has a secret, and a past she can’t forget...


Written for the Full Moon One Shot Challenge, I am Hopeful_song, of Hufflepuff House.

This Story Won Third Place in the Full Moon One Shot Challenge!

Reviewer: mrsmcclnt Signed
Date: 12/06/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

*cries hysterically*

It's like my greatest fear that my child would turn on me. As much as I love her to death, and she loves me in return, I know she'll be tainted by the world and have her own opinions. And then she won't view me as her loving mother, but some over bearing figure.

*shudders*

It's a great story. Very moving. As a single working mother, I see myself in Rowena's position. So I'm amazed that you captured that range of emotion so well.

I would say more, but I'm suddenly overcome with fear and need to grab hold of my child.c

Author's Response: Aww.. *pets Marsha* I\'m having contraicting feelings because of your review. I feel so sad that I caused you to feel that way, bu in the other hand that was what I was aiming for, so it means I did a good job, right?

Almost every child grows up and forgets the love and admiration he/she once felt fo their parents, I just wish that your relationship with your daughter doesn\'t end up in that way...

~ Samarie



The Peace Bomb by leahsm2

Rated: Professors •
Summary: Lucius Malfoy has a summer fling before his final year at Hogwarts. What could go wrong?


This is my Alumnus Final for cmwinters NEWT Level Dark Arts: The Art of War
Reviewer: mrsmcclnt Signed
Date: 07/21/08 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

It's interesting to me how Lucius had gotten so easily duped by Muggles playing at magic. But then again, like you had mentioned in the fic : some of Draco’s most infuriatingly thoughtless traits were obviously inherited.


And I love that line by the way.


I can feel Lucis hitting himself as he looks back on those moments. I often do that myself when I reminisce about the past. I love that! I love how there were subtle clues left behind for him (and the reader), clues that he should have caught on to but he was too young and too in lust to see it plainly.


I didn't realize what was going to happen until that moment he had blacked out. I loved how you build it up to that point then delivered your own bomb in the plot.


There are so few fics out there that actually has me sorry or have me rooting for Lucius. So when he came to the house, six months later, to deliver his peace bomb, I smiled... inwardly.


Lord knows revenge isn't the way to settle things, but it was so like Lucius to do what he did. It just felt right.



The Danger that Awaits by Mariangelo, dulcet_tones

Rated: Professors •
Summary:

Sometimes it's a form of love just to talk to somebody that you have nothing in common with and still be fascinated by their presence.

~David Byrne

On the edge of discovering a long lost document...

On the edge of the greatest adventure of their lives...

On the edge of finding themselves....

They would find each other...

In The Danger That Awaits.

Sirius Black is called for his first mission for the Order of the Phoenix, but he's going to need a little help.  Racing Death Eaters on the search for a long lost ancient text, he not only finds himself in danger, but also falling in love.

This is The Marauding Cupcake and hermybabay82 of Gryffindor for the Gauntlet's sixth run.

Second Place Winner in the Gauntlet’s Sixth Run!

Only one of the later chapters earns us the higher rating and we'll give you fair warning when it comes up. >.<


Reviewer: mrsmcclnt Signed
Date: 07/10/08 Title: Chapter 7: In Dawn's Early Light

*pours water over computer*



Girl!



Now I know why people smoke after doing certain things.



And this line here:
"Hell's teeth, McKinnon! I'd still like to know just what kinds of things you learned in Hufflepuff, because it certainly wasn't anything the Gryffindors were offered!"



This is my favorite line of all time!



Great work!! Sirus is still so in character, so randy and so passionate. And I love the cliff hanger at the end.



Can't wait to see how this all comes together!!



Reviewer: mrsmcclnt Signed
Date: 07/03/08 Title: Chapter 1: A First for Everything

Oh , Iove this!


Gauntlet stories are so interesting cause you can see how different writters drabble out the different prompts we're given.


I love how the "welcoming committee" joined in to save Marlene. You can almost hear Michael Jackson's "Beat It" in the background as they gather to start a fight! OK, maybe that just me...I tend to hear things.... >.<


And I love Yaxley's dialouge. It's so brash and foul. It just fits with the rough and rumble that's about to begin.


Lovely dear! A good start to a great story.


Good luck!

Author's Response: Marsha! *giggles*  Beat It!  I had a particular movie in mind when I wrote that scene, but now I can’t see the scenario any other way!  I love the way you think because I so get it!  >.<  Thank you so much for noticing the dialogue, I tried to take special care with that.  I love a man with a brash and foul mouth!  ;)  Thanks for the lovely review!  Can’t wait to read more of yours, too!~M.



Reviewer: mrsmcclnt Signed
Date: 07/03/08 Title: Chapter 2: A Task Set

Ahhh. So interesting! The plot is thickening and I cant' wait to see how this special book comes into play and what Lord Voldermort wants with it. It must be something fantastically horrible!


So mysterious! I cannot wait for more!

Author's Response:

The book is an actual Irish artifact adn was a wonderful find by Stacy.  There will be more about the book eventually, probably involving Sirius and Marlene finding the book and getting it.  :)

 

~M.



The Five Senses by Hermione_Rocks

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Sirius Black explores his five senses. Sirius/Lily. Oneshot.

Written for Slytherin House, for the Salazar's Secret Swap. This is for mrsmcclnt. Hope you enjoy this, Marsha.
Reviewer: mrsmcclnt Signed
Date: 09/07/08 Title: Chapter 1: The Five Senses

**speechless**


**speechless**


I feel so humbled that this is my gift!! It's so beautiful!! They way you incoporated the five senses into Sirius' feelings for Lily was magnificent!!


And just like claymor said I'm also glad you didn't do a "night before he wedding" tryst between the two.


They way you expounded on Sirius' feeling for Lily was more like true love instead of some flight of fancy he has for her.


Thank you for writing this for me!!


** save it in favorites**

Author's Response: *blushes*

Thanks so much, Marsha. I'm totally flattered/embarassed that you liked your gift that much! I came up with this idea and wrote it all within a single day, so I didn't really know what to think of it at the time. All this positive feedback for it might just start to go to my head. :P

Anyway, thank you again, dear -- I'm so pleased you like your pressie. :D