I am a thirtysomething mother of two, a boy and girl, both too young to read HP. I am obsessed with Harry Potter, especially anything to do with Severus Snape. However, my favorite author is Anne McCaffrey, and my favorite fictional character is Afra from McCaffrey's Tower and Hive series. Severus is a close second, though.
My favorite movie is The Abyss, but only the extended version. The original theatrical release made no sense.
I love reading HP fanfiction. I would like to write more myself, but alas, I have neither the time nor the patience. Maybe someday.
FIrst, great story. You've really captured the timbre of the characters. I'm writing a review of this chapter because I want confirmation: Snape put the thought in Draco's mind, right?
Author's Response: Hmmmm...no, I hadn\'t thought of that, but I suppose it\'s possible. I thought it was just a last impulsive moment of clarity of someone who knew he was about to die. But I think I like that better!
The scene with the reborn phoenix reminds me of an Impression, a la Anne McCaffrey. But she's not technically a British writer, so I don't think that's who you meant....
Author's Response: I\'ve read a little Anne McC. but I don\'t know what you mean by Impression. Is that some sort of Drabblish thing?
Hi, Fawkes! I don't want to give away too much, but Rowling did not really address this issue much in DH. So don't be expecting too much.
I've been reading your "in-progress" chapters on LJ, but some of this was new to me. DD under the cloak? Wasn't expecting that!
It was good to see that you had new chapters here. But, please, pretty please, could you do some more work on "Private Lessons," too? Please?
Author's Response: LOL. I gotta finish Heirs first. PL needs some more research before I\'ll be ready to keep moving, though I was just thinking about it this morning.
The LJ chapters are coming along pretty well, but there will be a few more changes before they\'re final. So don\'t get TOO far ahead. :)
IN RE your response to the previous review, I thought JKR did explain why DD had James's cloak. (I thougt it was a pretty anticlimactic reason, but a reason nevertheless.) No spoilers here, but this was one of the mysteries she did resolve. (I agree that DH failed to tie up many other loose ends, however.)
Author's Response: *shrugs* She might have--I must\'ve forgotten it. I was so unimpressed with DH that I was pretty much skimming it after the first couple of chapters.
Oh, so what about poor Harry? If Tura married Severus, and Harry looked "sad" on the frog cards, does that mean he ended up alone? Or did I miss something? BTW, thanks for giving Sev a happy ending!
Author's Response: I kinda thought he would end up alone--sort of like Frodo at the end of LOTR, a little too broken to fit in anymore. But he made the best of it--used his powers for good and all that. :)
In McCaffrey's world, Impression occurs when a human is present at the Hatching of a dragon. Each dragon chooses a human partner and from then on communicates telepathically with him/her. " Godric took his wide eyes off the hatchling at last and gazed at her in pure joy." This line reminds me of many from McCaffrey's books involving Impression. Since she is my favorite author, this is high praise for you. : )
Author's Response: Ah! Like imprinting, with telepathy thrown in. Except Fawkes puts his chosen person through a trial by fire, too. Godric clearly understood more about that than Harry did...that\'s what Harry gets for dropping Care of Magical Creatures.
I'm still reading; I just couldn't remember how to log in. In some ways, I like your story better than the "Other Book 7" too. I like the part about the missing body and being in the wrong tomb, for example. And I am NOT a Harry/Ginny shipper, so I'm glad you're not going there.
Author's Response: LOL! To each his ship, I guess.
I hadn't noticed before that Saxon was very nearly born on Tom Riddle's birthday. Was that intentional?
"I've never seen you wear anything but black before," she finally said softly.
Incidentally, Snape wore green robes to a Quidditch match in either the second or third book. I noticed that when I re-read them to prepare for "The Other Book 7." I guess Hermione didn't see him. :) Obviously, I am a reader of your _Heirs of Slytherin_. I love your style. This is my first review of this story because I haven't had time to write more. But I am actually ashamed to admit that I love it. I feel as though I'm reading pornography or something. But these two have such great chemistry, better than any characters in the real series. They are perfect for each other.
And I remind myself that I love Anne McCaffery's _Damia_, and the age difference in that is much greater than this one. I know you don't read McCaffrey (according to your response to my comment about Impression regarding Fawkes in your other story), but I think you would like her.
Author's Response: I\'ve read some McCaffrey--didn\'t she write \"The Rowan?\" But I\'m pretty picky about my sci fi and she didn\'t really do it for me. As for Snape wearing green--heh, well, he probably has worn other things, but I think Herms was never really LOOKING before. Snerk.
"Severus Snape placed his hands on either side of her face and fell into the kiss like a man stepping off a skyscraper."
This is quite possibly one of the best lines I have ever read anywhere. I love the imagery. And I used to be an English teacher, so I've read some good literature.
Although I can't help but root for these two, I do wish it were taking place later in the canon series. It is not the age difference that is the problem but rather her age period. He should be arrested and imprisoned, but the poor man has already been through so much.
I love how they are both so in character and yet are displaying such unexpected sides. Snape isn't making an abrupt turnaround; he is still the unbearable, overbearing jerk we love and hate from the canon series. Yet it is easy to see how someone like Hermione could break through his facade. It just seems to make sense.
Author's Response: Thanks! Yeah, I wish she were older already, too, but one can\'t have everything. I really wanted the whole occlumency angle in there and what better time for Herms to get into it as when Harry was learning it, you know? But that required the age thing. So I had to either abandon this wonderful circumstance, or make him a dirty old man. But you know, considering that wizards have roughtly twice the lifespan of muggles, this isn\'t nearly as May-December as one might get.
"Severus Snape placed his hands on either side of her face and fell into the kiss like a man stepping off a skyscraper."
This is quite possibly one of the best lines I have ever read anywhere. I love the imagery. And I used to be an English teacher, so I've read some good literature.
Although I can't help but root for these two, I do wish it were taking place later in the canon series. It is not the age difference that is the problem but rather her age period. He should be arrested and imprisoned, but the poor man has already been through so much.
I love how they are both so in character and yet are displaying such unexpected sides. Snape isn't making an abrupt turnaround; he is still the unbearable, overbearing jerk we love and hate from the canon series. Yet it is easy to see how someone like Hermione could break through his facade. It just seems to make sense.
Since this chapter isn't posted at LJ, I'm responding here. Maybe the intervening (as yet unwritten?) chapters will explain this more, but I'm confused as to why Snape has to remove these memories. Does he no longer trust his skills at Occlumency because he is going to be with Voldemort day in and day out? Are the emotions just too strong to conceal? (He made a big deal to Harry about wearing one's heart on his sleeve.)
Author's Response: I think he\'s concerned that either Voldy OR the Aurors will have free reign over him, veritaserum and legilimency included, and he just isn\'t willing to put her at risk if it can be avoided.
So, um, which Auror gave her the spell or whatever? I've read the whole story posted here (so I realize I've missed a sizable chunk), and I don't remember htis ever coming up again. Is it in the other part? If so, I'm afraid I'll never know becasue I don't even know what LiveJournal is and don't know if I want to register at yet another site. If my husband ever found out about this one...
Author's Response: *snort* It\'s never discovered which Auror--remember, Snapie didn\'t react to well to this news, so I don\'t think it will be discussed again between them. I\'m thinking Tonksy, just because she\'s such a cool chick and a rule-bender, but it\'s never made clear.
Wasn't it around this time that Snape deliberately knocked Harry's potion off his desk so that Harry would get a zero? Is there any way you could add that little canon incident to your story? It has always bothered me; it's one thing to embarrass and humiliate students. Quite wrong, but Hermione explains Snape's motivations there pretty well. Since you seem to understand our Severus oh, so well, I would love to see your interpretation of why he knocked off that flask. I'm sure he had a very good reason, and if I just knew what it was, I could forgive him for being downright cruel to Harry.
Author's Response: Mmmmm....I remember the incident in question, I\'ll have to look it up in HBP when I get back to writing this story.
Follow-up to my previous review:
1) Okay, I misunderstood. When I look for stories I want to know who is in it and whether they have a relationship together. Since your story was in the SS/HG category, I already knew that it had that pairing. I usually can tell after one chapter whether a story is worth reading, so the summary is less important to me. It does bother me when stories in the General Fiction category fail to mention who is in it.
2) I can't pinpoint anything specific. I guess in earlier chapter the humor came from the characters themselves, while at the beginning of this chapter it came from the narrator. There was nothing really wrong with it, it just felt different.
3) Sorry, I looked up _anyways_ (should have done that BEFORE I wrote the review). One dictionary says it is a dialect form (but doesn't say where that dialect is used), while the other says that it is "nonstandard." Regardless, I didn't intend to sound mean. I'm sorry. LOL at your use of it in your response, though!
Author's Response: 1) Good point! The pairing is generally the important part haha :D 2) Oooh, okay, I see what you're saying. That definitely makes sense. I'm not really sure what to do about it, but I will keep that in mind for the future. 3) LOL! After you pointed that out, I too went and looked it up online xD xD And so yes, anyway is proper, anyways is slang, and thank you for point it out because I would rather avoid slang whenever possible :D :D Thanks again for being an active reader!! Criticism is always appreciated!
Oh, I'm so glad your story's back! Yesterday the whole thing was gone.
Although I don't think it was necessary for you to justify Hermione's feelings, you have done a nice job with this prologue. Since Severus has become my favorite character in the series, I have been rereading every single scene he is in, or even mentioned in. I find that Hermione never had the anger or animosity that Harry and Ron were constantly expressing. She felt that he was unfair, but she often defended him, and by HBP, she was doing so angrily.
The more I've thought about it, the more I've realized that these two are kindred spirits intellectually. It really is not a surprise that Hermione would find herself attracted to him. Add in the common female compulsion to "reform the bad boy," and this pairing makes perfect sense.
Please add to the END of the story soon. I am very impatient...
Author's Response: Thank you very much! And I know what you mean--whenever I start a new fic with Snape in it, I always return to the books and read passages with him in it. He is just such a tricky character! But an interesting one to be sure. And yes, Hermione has definitely shown much less animosity....but then again, cannon-wise, this is probably simply because he is a teacher/authority figure xD (though umbridge and trelawney are prime exceptions)...
I\'ll update as soon as I can! I promise I\'m working on it! Thank yo!
Well, now, this was hardly an "uneventful" chapter. I actually like reading characters' inner thoughts; it's why OotP is my favorite of the original books. I think you've done a good job with this chapter. Keep it up!
Author's Response: ooh yes, inner thoughts are definitely some of the best reads in HP -- and i\'m so glad that you enjoyed my attempt at it! thank you so much for reading, and i hope you like the next chapter as well!! :D
Just want to let you know I'm still reading. Thanks for the update!
I suspect the owl. Why else did you keep mentioning its eyes?
Author's Response: glad to know! :D
I think it's good that you've incorporated the prologue into chapter one. Just curious, though: What happened to the review I wrote of the prologue?
Author's Response: I have no idea--was it long? I don\'t even have the power to delete reviews, so it would have to have been some other sort of outside interference. The other reviews for the prologue are still here though...hmmm. A conundrum :/
Anyways, I\'m glad you liked the incorporation!
1) Your summaries are just fine. Short and sweet. I'll find out what happens when I read the chapter.
2) The beginning of this chapter seemed to have a different tone from the rest of the story. It was a little too glib, I guess.
3) Please do not put an _s_ at the end of the word _anyway_. "Anyways" not only is incorrect, it also sounds like a giggly schoolgirl. (Sorry, this is just a pet peeve of mine.)
Since I am still reading your story, I obviously like it. And I like the turn it has taken. I am interested to find out how Hermione's potion might help Severus. Will it even work for anyone else, since its power obviously derives from her love for him?
Thanks for the update!
Author's Response: 1) lol, i meant the main overall summary. 2) i kind of understand what you're saying, but at the same time i'm not sure what it is about the beginning that you are referring to. is there anyway you could give me an example? 3) okay. fixed. Anyways, thanks so much for reading!!