Hi, I decided to join MuggleNet Fan Fiction so that I could review people's work. I may submit my own work in holiday periods or times of semester when I don't have many assignments. I'm in my last year of a Bachelor of Journalism and live in Australia.
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I'm sorry to say I'm not going to continue updating my story on MuggleNet Fanfiction. I'm just too frustrated with the amount of inconsistencies I have come across in the moderating process. I know for a fact that my work (as far as grammar and punctuation goes) is of a relatively high standard, and even that gets rejected. However, I read other stories where they get homonyms mixed up (eg. use "to" instead of "too", or "there" instead of "their", or "here" instead of "hear")- such basic mistakes which get through the moderation. It's so annoying and I'm so sick of waiting 3 weeks for one of my chapters to get moderated- and then have it rejected, when it's of a much higher quality than other ones which get accepted- that I simply can't be bothered continuing to update on here.
I will continue to update the story at http://maria87.deviantart.com
Please do not delete- I may not be updating my story here but I still like commenting on other people's!
There was no need for Sirius to be on Muggle TV. There was no risk of Muggles finding him- he fell behind that veil in the Department of Mysteries, no Muggle is going to find him there! Wizarding authorities tend to keep as much info as possible away from Muggle authorities, unless they really need Muggle help (like with catching Sirius when he escaped from Azkaban).
Good start to the story though :)
there are many times when you've used "there" when it should be "their". eg "change there lives forever".
And please, don't use "Yah". It's a slang expression not used by Harry Potter characters. Especially by someone as proper and particular as Hermione.
Oh, and Ginny would never scream upon hearing a friend is pregnant.
O.O
Please don't tell me this is the end!! Please!! MORE!!!! Do he and Ginny have more children? How do Hermione and Ron react to the whole thing??? AAAARGHH PLEASE WRITE MOOOOOOOORE!!!
Author's Response: It\'s not, no worries. I\'m not sure how many more chapters there will be, but there will be at least a few more to finish it all up.
"Molly-esc" should be "molly-esque" :)
Author's Response: Sorry!
LOVED IT.
Thank you for the update! can't wait for the next!!
Author's Response: Thanks!
Author's Response: Thanks!
What??? You can't leave the story without them GETTING TOGETHER!!! *goes insane*
She wasn't caught red-handed. Red-handed is when you actually see them doing it. Draco didn't see anything.
"After about fifteen minutes, a very frazzled Ron appeared out of the fireplace."
Let's just put it this way: the fastest labour I have EVER heard of was 40 minutes long, and your average labour takes HOURS and HOURS and HOURS.
""You took it too far," James said, shacking his head"
should be SHAKING, not SHACKING :P
you often use the phrase "would of", it should be "would have". It's just that a lot of people mispronounce it "would of".
"mumbling under her breathe" should be "breath" not "breathe".
"There was five minutes of silence" should be "there *were* five minutes of silence"
"They walked passed everyone in the common room" should be "they walked past"
"James, Remus, and Sirius watched as they disappeared out of site" should be "disappeared out of sight"
Also, I don't think Dumbledore would say "kids"- he'd probably say "students".
Funny story so far though ;)
"Emily rolled her eyes and looked up the girls stares" should be "stairs" not "stares" :)
Lol can't wait to find out what happens when Lily discovers James has been a girl sleeping in her dorm :P
"They are an absolute perfect match, they will never fight or get on each other’s nerves, they will never truly be mad at each other."
That, to me, is entirely impossible. If a couple were truly in love, it would be inevitable that they woudl argue. A couple that doesn't argue isn't truly in love, in my opinion. Eg. say Person A wants to do something that could be harmful to themself- Person B loves them so much they'd step out against Person A, even to the point where Person A might get mad- but Person B is doing it for Person A's benefit because he loves her so much. If Person B just let Person A do it, to avoid an argument, then he mustn't really love her because he'd be letting her put herself in harm's way!
It's still a good story, but made highly unbelievable by the idea that they will never argue. I don't believe you could get a couple more in love than Molly and Arthur.
"“I might of,” he replied slipping back into his mysterious persona."
Should be "might have" not "might of" :)
GREAT story :) Totally loving it. Great descriptions, emotions... wonderful :)
WOOHOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Awesomest fic ever!!! I cannot WAIT for the sequel XD Let us know when it comes!!! *runs round in excited circles*
Awwww.... thankyou so much for updating again!!! ^_^
Awww. That was cute and funny. Very Forge-esque!! ;)
Firstly- In this, Remus was unsure of vows etc. Also, Arthur had to tell Hermione and Ron what to do. In reality there is always a practice so everyone knows what is happening. Also, in reality, the Best Man usually holds all the rings. Also, in this, you called Hermione a 'matron of honour'- she was actually the 'maid of honour'. "matron" means she is married, when you said she got married after harry and ginny.
Also, the vows they said weren't vows. A vow is a promise. There were no promises in what they said. It was basically just a 'how i fell in love with you'. That's not the purpose of a wedding or vows... the purpose is to start their *future* together, not discuss the past :P I also think that usually the groom doesn't bother taking the bride's engagement ring off first- she usually just switches it after the wedding :P
It's a nice story, but i think a bit more research into the operation of weddings would have been beneficial (seeing as that's what the whole fic was about ^_^).
Author's Response: Yeah I know.. this was more a of spur of the moment thing, but I appreciate the review and informing me of all this. :D
Awwww... pure fluff is great to read :D
We all know how this tale ends, but how does it begin? Did Lily hate James from Day One? Did James fall head over heels the moment he first laid eyes on Lily? How did Remus feel about the whole thing? Who let Peter slip through the cracks? And what exactly happens when Sirius gets hold of some Time-Release Dungbombs?
The Marauders' years at Hogwarts were marked by internal demons, external tensions, and whispers from the shadows growing steadily louder. By intertwining lives in the midst of danger. By powerful love and a whole lot of laughter. This is their story, a tale of cauldrons and comrades.
You need to fix the formatting of this. Really, really need to!! Makes it near impossible to read otherwise. I started reading it (and what I read was good) but started getting a headache from concentrating so much :P
Author's Response: Oh my gosh! Thank you SO much for pointing that out. I\'m fairly certain it looked fine when I submitted it--I don\'t know what happened. Anyway, it should be fixed now, so hopefully you can read it without hurting yourself. :)
Thanks again!!