Why, hello! I'm Brittany: indecisive, sarcastic, loving and loyal. I'm a proud Gryffindor but SPEW is my home.
I love reading, writing, talking, listening, loving, horses, piano, guitar, swimming, thinking and cooking. I'm a sociable creature, though I am fairly sensitive. I live in New York where it snows piles in the winter and the sun shines brightly in the summer.
I am greatly influenced by music and I mostly listen to alternative and rock. =) I like a wide range or artists and would be happy to discuss music with you any time. My favorite shows are House, Skins, Gossip Girl and Greek. Though I've been known to channel surf.
I want to direct film when I grow up and writing screen plays is also something I'd like to dabble in. I've always wanted to be an author or perhaps and English teacher. Well, who's to say. Now I'm just rambling about things I'd like to do.
My favorite characters are the Marauders, Regulus Black and Lily Evans. I'm quite fond of all my OCs too.
Right now, I'm working on a Regulus/OC (her name is Reed =D) and I want to have the first chapter up within the month. It is not yet titled.
I'm also working on a Sirius/Lily which... actually isn't a S/L but you'll have to sit tight until it's up. ;) This also lacks a title. XD
So, read and enjoy!
*sings* This is going on my favorites. =D Another promising Marauder Era fic *huggles* I'm anxious for the next chapter already.
Brittany
Author's Response: thank you:D the next chapter should be up in like a week.
Allie, I am in shock. This was a fabulous entry. I was never one to be into AU, but I have to say, you have definitely changed my mind. Lucius and Sirius were wonderfully in character in such an odd situation. What’s even odder is that, it is quite believable!
Clearly, whatever tasks you were assigned, you took them with ease. It flowed and I have to comment once more on your flawless grammar. Ironically, Lily/Sirius is the one pairing that goes against my OTP that I can stand, funny how things work out. Anyways, I really like how you’ve written Lucius. I actually found him likeable until he told Sirius that the time change didn’t hold him to the vow. Also, I’m quite partial to Molly, she sounds like a delightful daughter. Who doesn’t love a heartwarming reunion? You didn’t make it mushy, but there was that peaceful feeling at the end that sealed things up.
You’ve made the setting work well with the characters. Your description was great. I liked the mini-battle scene too, some people have trouble incorporating action but it seemed pretty natural to me. Overall, this was a fun read. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Brittany
Author's Response: Awww, thanks, Brittany! *huggles* Awesome review, lol!
You did a wonderful job with all the rhyming, I couldn't pull that off. This was a nice little poem, I enjoyed it immensely.
Brittany
Author's Response: Thank you! The inspiration came from a sad and unfortunate place, but I hope my friend at least enjoys this a little bit. Thanks again!\r\n\r\nLexi
What a wonderful last name she has. And if that wasn't intended to be funny...*hangs head in shame*
I found this to be an entertaining piece. I think you could have expanded, but it works just fine the way it is.
My favorite name was Zucchini, haha. Is the new Headmaster anyone we know? He let that slip a little too easily. XD
Brittany =)
Author's Response: Yeah, her last name\'s supposed to be funny. No need to hang your head. The headmaster could be someone we know, but I dunno who it is. :) I\'ll let you know if I find out. ~Selina
You’re perfectly right, Stubby! Why would Wizarding schools in America be any different than Muggle schools? People will continue to be cruel and disregard people’s emotions and abuse them. What I think is fantastic, is that you’ve just delved right into this issue that is so prominent but rarely has any major consequences. What are a few seemingly harmless tricks here and doing some drugs there, right? *scoffs at society*
I can really feel the emotion that’s rooted in this, it’s all achingly familiar. I can make various connections with this piece.
Pledges are said to various flags (nobody really says them, though, only reciting), announcements are read (same old things), and the announcer rambles on about things nobody cares about (who gives a shit about the charity drive?).
You are so frank and direct, who wouldn’t love this? It’s sort of just something we have to do. No one really cares. I just can’t express how spot on you are with this.
Sweet little Stevie goes to the bathroom and snorts some 'Flew' with his pals. Their laughter rings in the stalls; echoes bounce where no one listens. Later, in a few months, his parents will notice the greenish pallor on his skin and the greenish powder in his pockets. Stevie will be reprimanded. He will speak to councilors who will ask why-why-why. He might even be removed from school for a few days. But eventually, he will return to his bathroom.
Typical. There’s a Stevie in every school. Wow, that sounded oddly hilarious. You’ve really got the stereotype down.
Human emotion is really so strange. There’s the substitute worried about the students, children worried about being ostracized. This fic is just so real and raw.
A voice crackles over the intercom like a bandage being ripped off tender skin.
I love how you’ve detailed this also. Everything seems realistic and it’s almost as if I’m there. These things are all too familiar. Feels like a page of my life, strangely enough. I can really sympathize with Jamie. I feel absolutely terrible for her. My one nit-pick is this:
Jamie shudders. Don't think of Daddy, her mind whispers.
It’s a little misleading. When I first read it, I thought there was some form of sexual abuse that was taking place. I mean, perhaps that is what you intended. Either way, I think you should have made it clearer and established a border of sorts. There’s a difference between her father thinking she’s not good enough and the aforementioned.
Anyway, I feel like I really do connect with Jamie, here. It’s awful to have to go through those things and I hate seeing other people being tortured relentlessly like that.
In a startling, pearly moment of epiphany, she begins to sing. Her voice raises above the droning bulbs and the paltry silence. Mrs. Part-Time Theatre Expert exchanges a look with the other clipboard-wielders.
What magnificent detail here also, you have a real talent for such things.
This is magic.
Now that is just beautiful. This one-shot was so overwhelming and powerful. Honestly, you’ve made me cry. I love getting emotional over fics. If I could hug you, I would.
Brittany *watery smile*
Author's Response: 0_o\r\n\r\nYou and Katie have given my the longest reviews I have ever recieved for this fic. I mean,wow! Thank you so much. I\'m glad you liked it.\r\n\r\n-Stubby *goofy grin*
Author's Response: 0_o\r\n\r\nYou and Katie have given my the longest reviews I have ever recieved for this fic. I mean,wow! Thank you so much. I\'m glad you liked it.\r\n\r\n-Stubby *goofy grin*
Author's Response: 0_o\r\n\r\nYou and Katie have given my the longest reviews I have ever recieved for this fic. I mean,wow! Thank you so much. I\'m glad you liked it.\r\n\r\n-Stubby *goofy grin*
Okay, having beta’d this; you know how I feel about it. I absolutely love it! Listen up, people! Alison is a literary genius that deserves way more recognition than you are giving her. Here’s to hoping I don’t gush too much about this.
I love how you’ve subtly paralleled several things in this one-shot. First off, you are so brilliant with using the paths to signify Edward and Cecilia’s relationship. It’s kind of like they’ve taken the same one their whole lives and never really opened their eyes and saw things differently. It’s a really special moment and it’s quite meaningful when they take the other path, opposed to the usual. It’s truly a beautiful realization.
Secondly, the stars! I think this requires a deeper thought process, definitely more contemplation. It goes deeper.
“There’s no moon tonight,” he commented.
“I didn’t even notice.”
“I did. Sometimes the sky doesn’t look right if the moon isn’t there.”
“But the stars look brighter tonight.”
“I think they can shine brighter when the moon isn’t there.” His voice was so neutral that I couldn’t tell what he was thinking.
Now, at this point, it’s more difficult to decipher. Is he perhaps referring to Tom Riddle once being in her life? That seems more logical until we get to this point:
“What would happen if the moon ever disappeared for good?” he questioned softly.
“The stars would be even brighter, and… I think the sky would get used to it.”
“You think it could? After all that time?”
“As long as the stars never left,” I answered, realising I had become just as serious as he was.
“They would never leave.”
Okay, what girl would not love to hear that? It’s so intimate without being too intimate. They’re using something else to convey emotions and what they’re thinking. That’s quite clever of you, if you were to ask me. However, at that point, I feared it would get too mushy and I would have to click out of it and run out of the room, screaming. But, I was wrong. There was a happy medium there. You didn’t overstep the boundary and go all-out fluff (thank Godric).
The only thing that really stood out was the similarity to Edward from Twilight. I know I commented about this, but it still strikes me. They both seem to have the same sort of personality thing (not to mention the same name =p). However, I feel that you were able to differentiate them enough so that no one thought this was a Twilight fanfic. That’s my character nitpick.
Putting aside Edward, I think that Cecilia was a spectacular OC! I love the depth we receive from her; she is such a profound character. I could really feel for her and all of the confusion and heartache she was experiencing. I just love it when I can connect on that level, it makes reading something much more enjoyable.
There were some parts that were so terribly awkward. Not in your writing, but with Cecilia and Edward! Huh…I just realized how insulting that could have sounded if I had not explained myself. Anyways, typical teenage angst and tension. It was actually quite hilarious when that happened, almost as if it was unavoidable, kind of a stand still in the progression of their relationship until they went past those awkward phases.
I think the imagery was awing in this one-shot. The splendor so clearly exuded, however simplistic the surroundings may have been. I am a sucker for detail. =)
Overall, I found this to be well-paced and well thought out. I could definitely tell that you put time in to make this fic a fantastic sequel and read!
Brittany =D
First off, your opening was great! It caught my attention quite quickly and it really stood out. I suppose I would have been more won over if it had had a thrilling beginning. However, it worked because it was more of a back-story and setting up for the actual tale. For future chapters though, do keep in mind that starting out with a 'bang' really pulls readers in.
I think you've depicted Tom amazingly well. Though I do like how he does have human qualities and he is trying to dispel of them. It makes the situation easy to relate to. What I don't really understand is if he actually ever fought that off. Because, I don't think he did. He always seemed a bit possessive to me. I understand the reasoning behind writing it but is it more to show that Tom Riddle had his weaknesses or that he fought against them to appear invincible?
Another thing I questioned was Arcturus calling him 'Tom.' I wonder when he started to have his followers call him Lord Voldemort, or rather The Dark Lord. I would think by this point that he would have started using that name with his followers, to establish his identity, I suppose. It just doesn't seem normal for them to still be calling him Tom after he had started rising to power and creating the Horocruxes.
I enjoyed how short he was in his words. It seemed just like him. is responses were quick and to-the-point, as though time couldn't be wasted. Just sort of gave him an 'in-charge' feel to me.
I have mentioned to you before about my being elated of your being Indian and living in India. I think that makes this story much more convincing and certainly more descriptive than someone who would have no idea about the culture and tradition. It enriches the story and I'm anxious to see how you use this to your advantage.
Now, I absolutely love the legend that you created. It's so imaginative and I truly admire you for it. It was quite a tale you made up. I think everything with Salazar and the snakes adds up. I question whether J.K.R. could have explained the history of Nagini better. It was so creative and I loved how you incorporated some Indian words. It really enhanced the legend and certainly caught my interest once again.
I enjoyed how you depicted him as a cruel person, because, obviously, he is. By this point in his life, I think he would have been more openly terrible and would not have concealed it as much. He was so believable.
His plan to dispose oh Patil sounded just like him and demonstrates his evil-ness so wonderfully.
Overall, this was short but well-written. Perhaps you could have put more detail as to where Tom was. It's always nice to include surroundings and set the scene, so to speak. The ending was fabulous too but I couldn't help myself from hoping that there would have been a cliff-hanger. It seemed mellow, appropriate even, for this point in the story, I think in further chapters that you need to satisfy that urge for a shocking end to a chapter.
Well, Arya, this is so lovely so far. You have enthralled me despite my criticism and I am so fond of this fic. Keep up the creative thinking, me dear. =)
Brittany
Author's Response: *squeeeeee* YOU REVIEWED! ZOMG! Thanks for all that wonderful concrit, I\'ll keep everything in mind. *blushes* Hey, come on, the legend was THAT good, the way you\'re comparing it to JRK\'s...but since Nagini is an Indian name, I was always intrigued about her past, so here it is! Thanks a lot, and I\'ll try to update soon, but the internet connection is on the blink here, and my beta has vanished off the face of the earth...>,<*huggles*
Charity Burbage never considered herself a strong or brave person. That is until she met Jack. Jack gave her fire and soul. He encouraged her to stand up for what she believed in. But when a tragedy strikes, Charity’s world is turned upside down. Should she take the easy way out or continue to fight for what’s right?
I am MerryD, proud Hufflepuff.
Hm. The beginning was quite the mix of things. I like how it started out with something interesting that jumped off the page. I’m always bothered when things start out exceedingly dull but it is so lovely when writers deliver with a ‘bang.’ Though at the same time, it had a very somber edge and I admire the blending of excitement and solemnity.
Though I do like the description here:
He brushed away her raven ringlets, tucking them behind her ear. Her brown eyes widened and sparkled with delight as he leaned over and trailed kisses along her cheek.
I think what would have really topped it off and made my heart melt is if you had something about how he regarded her with such adoration. Then again, maybe I’m hoping for too much. >.>
And with that came a tidal wave of grief, pulling her under, sucking her back and not letting go. She was drowning in sadness and had no one to pull her out.
Okay, I really like the idea you had going there. Something seems off with the first part of that sentence but I think the overall idea is enough to eclipse the phrasing being a little off. Truthfully, that was beautiful. It’s one of those things I can’t fully describe. The last line there was so meaningful and consequential. *sigh* I really liked it. =)
I thought her getting up was a little drawn out and perhaps included a little too much detail in that respect. I’d really like to learn more about her surroundings and where and what exactly she is doing.
away from the shards of winking glass that reminded her of diamonds.
For me, it seemed like that list bit could have been put more eloquently. It read like a fact, not poetry. Admittedly, it’s just one line but having read some of your work, I think you could have made it sound more appealing. Something like:
The dozens of shards of glass shimmered like diamonds as the colours reflected and bounced around the room.
Not saying that’s perfect but it could have been something more than what it was.
What I do enjoy at this point is your characterization of Charity. Her state is just utterly depressing and I truly sympathize for her plight. I’d like to learn more about her though. Some expansion on her character.
—not after it had sliced open her finger, broken through all her barriers and given her something that was real.
Something real. Something tangible. Something sturdy. Something frightening and comforting at the same time. Something that reminded Charity that she was alive.
Pain.
*squee* That is what I love to see from you. That’s amazing, to me and I love, love, love it. I love the emphasis on pain. And how you set it up. And I do love the word tangible. I also love your use of fragmented sentences to further emphasis. I enjoy doing that too and I think it makes it much more enthralling and gives it something special. Really enhances it. =)
Something that bothered me was the repetition of ‘satisfying.’ It was a eye sore for me and I think there are many other synonyms that would have worked in place of it. Nothing wrong, per say…
Something about the redness of her blood as it trailed down her finger and the back of her hand, contrasting with the paleness of her skin, was oddly satisfying.
I agree with this. There is something strangely stunning about the contrast.
Now, I know this is gross, but a lot of writers seem to leave out ‘snot’ when they write crying scenes. I commend you on including it because that’s what happens! Crying isn’t pretty all the time. At the same time, I was a little taken aback but I appreciated the honest tone in your writing.
Aw, I just feel terrible for her. I also feel a fondness for this line:
When her hand closed around the velvet box, it soothed her, creating a sense of inner peace.
It’s so sweet and adds a tinge of hope and light. It truly is soothing. Mostly, because you said it is. See the control you have over readers if you set it up and deliver correctly? =D
The two paragraphs underneath that were delicious. The imagery and description were spot-on and overwhelming. You can really tell this woman is suffering so enormously and it makes me feel even worse when I think of what happens to her. All of the detail after that is quite nice too.
The letter sent to her was so short and precise yet I could feel wisdom and understanding etched in it. Very Dumbledore.
I think Charity possesses far more gumption than she knows. I am assuming her husband or fiancée has died and I think she’s handling it maturely and her depression and angst is so appropriate.
She licked her lips and let out a shallow ragged breath.
There should be a comma between shallow and ragged.
He died because you were fighting, because you were making a stand.
The wording seemed off there too. I would suggest changing it to ‘because you were taking a stand.’ Making just sounds odd in that context.
I also praise you on the inner monologue. Often I find it annoying and overplayed but I think the reasoning in her voice and the small battle that takes place in her mind is plausible and interesting to read.
Aha! The plot both thickens and comes together at the same time.
When he’d heard about Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters, Jack had wanted to fight. He couldn’t, though. What could a Muggle do against the most powerful dark wizard of all time? Against his wretched followers?
I suppose it sort of ties together, marrying a Muggle, teaching Muggle Studies. Clever, Mere, and everything clicks at this point. It does seem rather fitting when you think of it. Bah, the explanation is so terribly gloomy! One thing I think should have been included is what she was doing to take a stand.
She ran her hand over it longingly before kissing the man’s smiling face and whispering, “I’m fighting for you.”
*cries* Mere, that’s marvelous. I feel the little tingly, fuzzy feeling. *grins*
I interpret her putting the ring away as her stepping out and ready to take a stand again and really fight.
The ending was fabulous and really did come to a heartfelt conclusion. I adored this. Some parts were a bit bumpy but that was all cast aside by the story you told. *squish* I really think you did a tremendous job with this.
Brittany
Author's Response: -blinks- Damn, Brittany. This review is amazing! -squishes- It's definitely the best review I've ever gotten and way better than any review I've ever given. Thank you so much! I'll look back over at the parts you mentioned and see what I can do. You pointed out all of my favorite lines. =) I'm speechless right now... I don't know what else to say to such an awesome review. ;) I'm really glad you liked it... it's probably the story I'm proudest of right now. Thanks a lot, again! -massive elephant-sized hug- xo Mere
Sometimes it's a form of love just to talk to somebody that you have nothing in common with and still be fascinated by their presence.
~David Byrne
On the edge of discovering a long lost document...
On the edge of the greatest adventure of their lives...
On the edge of finding themselves....
They would find each other...
In The Danger That Awaits.
Sirius Black is called for his first mission for the Order of the Phoenix, but he's going to need a little help. Racing Death Eaters on the search for a long lost ancient text, he not only finds himself in danger, but also falling in love.
This is The Marauding Cupcake and hermybabay82 of Gryffindor for the Gauntlet's sixth run.
Second Place Winner in the Gauntlet’s Sixth Run!Only one of the later chapters earns us the higher rating and we'll give you fair warning when it comes up. >.<
=0 Oh my! Michelle and Stacy, this is awesome. I am really enjoying this so far. I mean, wow, I'm so blown away with how much I like this. Of course, Sirius/OC has always been a favourite of mine. I mean, you didn't exactly say that's what it is but I can only assume. And I am happy with what I have assumed. =D
First off, how you characterized Marlene was lovely. And the detail and flow, pure bliss. It was just so nice and lovely to read with lines like this:
The bell that hung over the door of The Three Broomsticks chimed lively as a girl with honey-blond coloured hair and curious hazel eyes entered, quickly scanning the patrons for faces she knew.
The first line and you've already pulled me in. It's great! Normally, I note how things should start out with a bang to draw readers in but this was so positively indescribable. You made up for it with smooth, delectable writing. (warning: Brittany has entered fangirl mode)
I think it's interesting how you have portrayed Marlene as shy and little bookish. If I ever read her, I'm used to reading about was loudmouth, out-going, 'gorgeous' person she is. Your spin was appreciated.
Would it be wrong of my to wish I had been in that situation so Sirius would have saved me? Siriusly. Wow. And I liked the dialogue with Yaxley and Travers. Poor Marlene. But they were in character too and I admired that, even though they played a minor part.
And the part with the Marauders. It was just so natural, just so right. It's one of those moments where you have to stop and say...this is not J.K.R. I adored James and Remus and Peter. It was dynamic, so dynamic. All of their responses are reactions were love.
I’m interested to see where you took your prompts, as I don’t think we have the same ones, which should make it exponentially more enthralling for me. I think what you have set up is fabulous and it really does ‘set the scene.’ The talent and time put into this is quite clear.
For the second chapter, just more wow. I can’t even tell which one of you is writing, it blends together so wonderfully. It’s not choppy or bumpy at all!
Now, as I don’t know your prompts, I have no idea what you made up. But the idea with the texts is brilliant. I really enjoyed Dumbledore’s part. He was truly in character for me also. I think everything about the mission makes sense and I am fascinated by this text now. I’m really curious about you lay that one out. I imagine it will be just as amazing.
I thought Sirius’ reaction to Marlene helping him was hilarious and it downed my hopes of them getting together. XD But he was just so appropriate, like I had pictured him. I thought it was also quite funny and Sirius-ish that he had no idea she was apart of the Order. I felt awful that he forgot her name though. >.<
And the end of the chapter was so sweet to me. I liked how she opened up and was all into it. =D
This is quite possibly the most fangirl-ish review I have ever left. Appreciate my dears. XD Every part of it I loved and prized. Amazing.
Brittany
Author's Response: I'm so glad that you've enjoyed the tale that Michelle and I have spun so far! The fact that you took the time to leave such an awesome review left me grinning like a madwoman! I'm sure it will be hard to wipe the smile off of my face for another few days! *pickles/huggles/supersquishee* I hope you enjoy the rest of the story as well! ~Stacy~ *blushes* Brit, you’ve left me here grinning like an idiot! Fangirl this way anytime! >.< You don’t know how much it tickles me that you liked the first line. First lines are just as important to me, as well. I try to make them engaging enough so you want to read more. Thanks for noticing. Also, that you can’t tell the difference between Stacy and me is really just coincidence, but we do readily acknowledge our mutual fondness for all things romance, so I’m sure that helps.Hon, if I could write you into a story with Sirius I certainly would! Of course, that would mean I could write me and Remus together too, so... ;) The funny parts in chapter 2 are all Stacy and I adore her for them! I can’t tell you how much fun we had writing this and I’m so happy that it shows through! Thanks for the most amazing review! Your encouragement is a treasure!~Michelle (The One Who Marauds... on a fangirl high)
*blushes* How can I stand the cute-ness? =) Mooore. =p Tehe, it's just so great.
I thought it was interesting. Cedric in first person was something different for me. I'm not sure I really connected to him. I really would have liked more emotion and feelings from him. It just seemed a little dull. It just seemed a bit off. Not like an actual human's feelings but just sort of...description. It doesn't seem human. XD
It was also rather short so there wasn't much time to really get into it. With shorter pieces, that's what you need to get a readers interest. You're great, Tiff, but I just wasn't feeling this fic.
With more vivid detail and dialogue, I think Cedric's tale would have been better.
I was actually a little confused and I didn't really think the quotes went along as well as they could have. Also, just curious, the summary set-up seemed similar to RFD. Was that an inspiration? lol. I just noticed and had to ask.
All right, had to be honest. =)
Brittany
Author's Response: Brit! *Tacklesquish* Yeah, that's the main reason why I'm going to be rewriting it. I sort of.. rushed through this to have it in on time for the class, so I'm thinking that after I write chapter three and the class is over that I'm going to rewrite the entire thing, and at least try to make it better. lol.
And to answer your question, no.. RFD had nothing to to do with the summary for this. I was listening to the Powerspace song, and that part just fit well with the story, so I figured I'd put it in the summary. Hence why it's titled the name of the song, too. It just fits. lol.
Thanks for the review, though, love! *Hugs*
Shanae, reading this again, I truly want to collapse and have a good cry. The emotions you have evoked in me with your passionate writing are indescribable. I really wish I could put into words what this fic means to me. I shall try my best, but, in the end, my joy and love for this and you overshadows any compliment I could give you.
The first read through, I didn’t notice the monotony of the situation. I was too wrapped up in the lovely detail and imagery to really notice. Regulus’ thoughts and opinions in the beginning, throughout, are just so human and really, not something you would suspect if you did not know him. He really is quite a complicated man. And I love how you have written him.
He closed his eyes to revel in the taste that always surprised him, lingering on his tongue, the perfect romance between the outside world and within himself; it was the only connection he allowed, everything else was held in, silently stewing more inaction.
That one vulnerability is so delightful and appreciated. The release of his tension and thoughts whirling around and the scarce moments of peace and tranquility mixed together just warm me to the core.
He indulged once more in his expectant fantasies, allowing the warm spring sun to bake the experience into his thoughts.
It’s even more lovely for me to indulge in reading this. I feel like you have him down so well and it’s such a delight to delve into his character and really experience his emotions and views.
I also think your description is so tasteful. It’s not like a raging, hormonal thing. It’s appropriate and a very mature style. I think Hilary’s entrance was spectacular. The body language between her and Regulus was also such a treat. I also truly enjoyed her openness and ranting to a complete stranger. I find her admirable.
I commented on this before but you just had me bursting with laughter that I thought I should mention it again:
“You,” she continued, her bitter voice still as sweet as honey, “you are a bastard.” Raising her arm in the air to make some sort of abstract point, she continued, “I know; I don’t even know you. But you are. And do you know how I know that? Because all men are bastards.”
XD Seriously, this dialogue is so original and hilarious. It’s almost like unintentional comedy. She’s being so frank about it. Of course, Regulus handles it coolly and with such gah…awesomeness. His response to her outburst is so like him and also so pleasurable.
The first part leaves me craving more. The tension and attraction between them are undeniable and something blossoming between them seemed inevitable.
I really loved how you broke into it. It’s one of the things I can’t describe. How they learn each other in complete silence and the way you set it up. *squish*
“Did you want me to applaud your introduction?”
Her eyes immediately narrowed.
“Or was there another reason you willingly gave a more lively encore to the bland words you spoke earlier?”
>.< Wow. Their interaction is just so perfect, flawless. Just like the way one scene and thought or action flows into the next. It’s done so beautifully.
Another thing I noticed was Regulus’ assurance about himself. I had always imagined him to be quite confident in his words and actions. You know, it’s as if you know exactly how I’d wanted him to be written. =D
She shifted, irritated as he spoke. It was minimal, but it was enough to confirm his suspicion: an arranged marriage. If it was enough to put your family in a position of prestige, that was enough for those who arranged it. Though Regulus knew better than most the success of arranged marriages in pure-blood families; he was keenly aware of those issues kept hidden in the intimacy of their private homes.
I adore his intelligence and insightfulness. =) Hilary’s discomfort was so obvious and really interesting to read. And when she shows up at his flat. The conversation seems to come so naturally yet it is the slightest bit cold. It’s like a questioning moment. Sort of a deciding thing.
The getting together scene was also wonderful. How do you do it? =D Once again, your description sent me reeling. I love the passion and understanding between them. And the metaphor thing is pure brilliance on your part.
I really felt the fear in Regulus over his task and the Dark Mark. Really, it was so saddening and that’s where it really started to get into a ‘brooding’ mood and setting. I really feel for Hilary and how trapped she is. Plus, the emotional and physical damage she endures is heart wrenching.
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “Do me a favor?” she asked.
“Anything,” Regulus agreed instantly.
“Let me go.”
Regulus stared at her, shocked; she opened her eyes to look through his soul.
“Let me go now, but when I come, always remind me why I need to live through it. Why at the end of the day I should live to see another sunrise.”
*sigh* So tragically beautiful. This really spoke to me. It had quite the affect on my emotions. I was immensely saddened by it.
Regulus laughed as he pulled her close. “For you, my dear, everything is a metaphor.”
And for the first time since their nightmarish night, her eyes light up as she fell deep into his embrace, safely warm in his arms throughout the night.
That part certainly enhanced my depressed mood and made me so happy and heartbroken all at once. The chemistry is stunning.
As I realized what he was saying to her in the last scene… I honestly just broke down into tears. It was so powerful and moving. The last metaphor… just how you tied it all together. Oh…=( *tackles*
The conclusion was just amazing too.
Although she waited, nine months after he left her staring at the closed door, she did receive the only thing left of him in this world, the only part of him ever to return to anybody: nine months later that a little girl entered Hilary’s life.
She was beautiful.
It was never enough time they had together, but it was enough that her precious little one had her father’s eyes. It was enough that Regulus left her a sweet reminder of what was worth living for every day the rest of her life.
The ending was faultless. You gave me a brooding romance and I am overcome with so many wonderful emotions. This is the best present you could have given me. *flails*
Brittany
Sirius Black stumbles onto a most curious scene while checking up on one of his closest friends, the wife of his best mate. Lost and confused he follows the signs until they reach into a depth unknown to him. From this point, he seeks the help of another dear friend, and together they think, suffer, and laugh their way to some answers and some dead ends. Only in the end, do they find the answer to the one question that burns in their minds: how will we go on?
I am MerryD of Hufflepuff and this was written for the Gauntlet Round Seven
Mere, dear, I'm keeping this review strictly to the first chapter though I do plan on reading the rest. =D
I thought the opening was standard, almost. It wasn't bland but it could have been more enjoyable. I would have encouraged more vivid description. I know it's the first paragraph but it really would have grabbed my attention.
I loved the eerie feeling that immediately settled in after that introductory paragraph. Very unsettling. The words and imagery really set the mood and prepared me for the ensuing events.
Even though Sirius couldn't find Lily right away, I thought it was peculiar that he was suddenly perturbed and had this feeling of dread. I never saw Sirius as particularly paranoid though I suppose it makes sense in the situation. I wish there had been more detail to lead up to it. Creepy little details, hehe. Like something knocked over or broken.
Luckily, he realised the scared rabbit in the mirror was only himself, before that embarrassing act could happen. He look around self-consciously, lest Lily be in the doorway laughing or someone was actually watching him.
I found it hysterical how human and normal his reaction was. And then as the realization of the blood-spattered chair hits. Oh, how interesting! I can just imagine the wash of horror and utter fear. Though I didn't know whether the period idea was for comedic relief of if that was a serious thought, either way, I emitted quite a few laughs. It just seems so ridiculous but still plausible.
Once again, I find it odd that Sirius jumps to conclusions and the 'death of Lily Potter.' Is he just overreacting or is this serious business? I don't think the line is distinct enough. I think the chapter confused me. I didn't understand why things happened so suddenly without explanation. Obviously, not enough to give away the plot but just to clear up the vagueness.
I'm particularity fond of this line though:
An anguished moan escaped his lips, clouds swirling in front of him, fogging up his mind.
The ending was a good cliffhanger. Now I'm really curious. Besides those little nit-picks, I really think the story and plot could advance into something really enthralling. I look forward to finishing this!
Goodness. This is the best and only Draco/Astoria I have ever had the pleasure of reading. Honestly, it was so beautiful and extremely captivating. I was completely transfixed while I raced through this. It was short and sweet.
Draco, as you have portrayed him, is quite excellent. The coolness and abrasiveness in the beginning towards Astoria is spot-on. And her attitude in return is just as interesting to read. Even though there's so much tension, the chemistry is undeniable. And I really like how it works up too. It isn't instantaneous or rushed. AS they progress through the conversation, their feelings become more evident. The slow revelation is nice.
I didn’t enjoy the feeling. “They’ll probably notice the difference in feeling, now that the person who wants to kill them all is gone.”
What makes the story so tangible is how you write their characters and the dialogue. It's so crisp and realistic. Definitely easy to imagine them saying. It's especially impressive because, just reading this, I get the feeling that I've known Astoria the whole time. Her characterization is beautifully done.
Everything she did looked like it was done in a bored, unconcerned way.
Astoria's supposed indifference to him is quite enthralling. And as Draco's bubbling interest in her grows, so does mine.
The snow was a nice element. It provided the climax and it this point I was just wishing for certain things to happen, hehe.
She didn’t seem to mind and slipped it one regardless.
Little nitpick for you, the 'one' should be 'on.'
I thought Draco talking about Voldemort was a little abrupt and I certainly didn't expect it. Though I've obviously no idea the level of trust he has in her and I suppose it has been a fair amount of time since then. I thought it was wonderful that he would open up to her in such a simplistic manner.
she said softly, her voice very different from
From what? Ahhh!
Aw. The whole build up towards the kiss made me so anxious and excited. Whe it finally happened it was a great relief, heh. They were absolutely adorable together and not in the mushy way. How they reacted, with the sort of sassy back and forth was really a perfect reflection of their characters.
The ending was amazing. I thought he solemness was a little overdone but I was really just wishing for more. Their interaction was breath-taking.
You really did a fantastic job with them. The way it was set made for a beautiful story. Great job, love.
I've always been interested in reading something about a young Minerva. =) I thought that you did an exceptional job portraying her. Tom was depicted flawlessly too!
You really captured his true personality, sheathed beneath this cool exterior. At points, I was actually a little scared
and taken aback by his character. I suppose that's to say you did a very realistic job and I can definitely see the start of Voldemort in him. It's amazing how cruel and calculating he was.
I like how Minerva is so prim and proper and how she's susceptible to Tom. I can see certain character traits that we find later in Professor Minerva. I also enjoy the consistency. She doesn't become a huge softie after Tom kisses her. I do admire her innocence and the slow-moving romance, even though it was clearly not long-lasting.
The girl gave a little shriek and they both stared at Tom with honest terror in their eyes.
You did write him quite frighteningly.
But comfortable love, love between minds - that was something else entirely.
It's a shame Tom turned so.. well, evil, because I think their relationship could have been quite an interesting development. I feel horribly for Minerva, that she was used. I'm not sure everyone would have had the strength to refuse all that power but she didn't even seem intrigued by it, more repulsed by what Tom was saying. Definitely spot-on with her characterization.
The Legilimency was so unsettling. But I thought it was fantastic how Tom reacted to her thoughts and the confusion it caused Minerva. Actually, quite entertaining despite Tom's overall scariness.
I love how she used that spell against him. My favorite part, by far.
Right there, she resolved that falling for Tom Riddle and his believable fantasy would be her final act of innocence.
That ended it nicely. I do like the 'tag line.' =D
Author's Response: Hee, thank you! I've always thought that if Tom had stayed good, he and Minerva would have made the perfect couple. Not that they don't make a great pair when he's evil. >.> I really tried to write Tom as a psychologically scary character and I'm glad that you think I accomplished that. I tend not to write dark fics, so the dark overtones in this were a challenge for me. Again, thank you for the lovely review!