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Love a Duck! by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: Love a duck! Will he stop at nothing? Voldemort is rapidly taking over, and his Death Eaters are killing Muggle-borns every day. The good news? A mysterious man, known only as The Phoenix, is rescuing people in the nick of time all over England.
Meanwhile, newlywed writer Lily Potter has troubles of her own. For one, her marriage is not turning out to be as great as she'd thought... for another, she's been blackmailed by an old "friend" into turning spy and discovering the Phoenix's true identity.
Thrills, spills, laughs, gasps, song lyrics, and good old swashbucklin' intrigue.
Inspired by Baroness Emmuska Orczy's excellent novel, "The Scarlet Pimpernel," and Frank Wildhorn and Nan Knighton's AMAZING musical by the same name.
But if you're not familiar with either, the story's just all the more suspenseful! All song lyrics used in this story are based on those by Wildhorn and Knighton
Date: 11/01/07 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4: In Which Lily Gets, If Possible, Even More Irritated
I hate to submit a review on an unvalidated chapter, but...
You know, if you didn't want me to beta this anymore, you could have just said so. It wouldn't have hurt my pride (and feelings) as much.
- Katie
Author's Response: I\'m sorry! I forgot whether or not I sent it to you! (Did I?) I was just thinking, \"Oh, Long Distance Extendable Ears and Lord Voldemort the Musical are accepted... might as well submit something new now that the queue is cleared. Ooh, I\'m done with the next chapter of Love a Duck, might as well submit that.\"
If the chapter is accepted, can you still beta it so I can edit it and make my chapter better?
Slaughter-Dew by Wings of the Morning
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: The first time it happens, he is fourteen. Sitting at the Gryffindor table, Peter thinks of murder. (What's wrong with him?)
[Peter Pettigrew, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and the logic of fives. Dark, some disturbing imagery. One shot.]
Date: 10/08/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Whoa.
^That was my initial reaction.
Your writing style is really unique, and really great.
If he does it right - twenty-five steps from the door of the Great Hall to his seat, right in front of the window, closest to the wall; room for fifteen people between his and the end of the table either way; his plate arranged into a perfect pentagon, because fives are safe numbers - if he does it right, then the images don't come.
The imagery in that line is amazing. Perfect, in fact.
And your description of OCD is well done... as someone who actually has a mild form of OCD (nowhere near as bad as Peter's), it's great to see a fic on this.
Also, this kept to canon - it could have really happened.
Basically, this was excellent, and I look forward to anything else you write. :)
- Katie
Desires by Stubbornly_appeared
Rated: 6th-7th Years •Summary: "Men have wasted away before it, entranced by what they have seen, or been driven mad, not knowing if what it shows is real or even possible." -Albus Dumbledore
Everyone has a desire. Few realise what it is. Fewer are ever faced with it.
When the Mirror is created, the young apprentice Faxon must make a difficult choice.
He chooses wrong.
Date: 10/12/07 Title: Chapter 1: The Completion of the Mirror
Stubby, you already know how much I like this story.
And now that your beta *cough*ME*cough* is back from vacation, I think you'd do well to send her *cough*ME*cough* the next chapter.
- Katie
Author's Response: Ahh, okay. I\'ll get it in tomorrow. :)
*cough*
-Stubby
Author's Response: Ahh, okay. I\'ll get it in tomorrow. :)
*cough*
-Stubby
Author's Response: Ahh, okay. I\'ll get it in tomorrow. :)
*cough*
-Stubby
Author's Response: Ahh, okay. I\'ll get it in tomorrow. :)
*cough*
-Stubby
Author's Response: Ahh, okay. I\'ll get it in tomorrow. :)
*cough*
-Stubby
Author's Response: Ahh, okay. I\'ll get it in tomorrow. :)
*cough*
-Stubby
Lord Voldemort: The Musical! (Les Miserables Potterized!) by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: Yet another musical twisted by yours truly, it's the tale of Voldemort's life set to the tune of my Les Miserables soundtrack!
The real musical of Les Miserables was created by Claude-Michel Schönberg, Herbert Kretzmer, and Alain Boublil.
There is some violence and it really is not a silly musical-- there are a few funny parts, but there are some pretty sad or intense bits. AND LOTS OF PEOPLE DIE. And there are some cannibalism-happy bits with Fenrir, including a whole song called "Man Eat Man." Beware.
Date: 10/22/07 Title: Chapter 1: Songs From Act One
OK, I’m back with a less terrible 0_0-filled review.
First of all, “I Dreamed A Dream” made me tear up. It was beautiful and sad and… *sobs*
MINERVA: He thinks he’s royalty–a lord? Absurd!
I’m thinking ‘queen’ would be a better word!
Heir of Slytherin?
Don’t buy that a bit.
He’s no more than just another creepy git.
Probably insane
Won’t wear underwear.
Tends to wear eyeliner–though he’s got great hair!
What a cruel trick of Dippet’s
Lumping me with such a louse.
It’s hardly a secret he’s an awful prefect for his house!
xD I laughed out loud there. In fact, the entire ending of that song was hilarious.
So why does J.K. Rowling still scare me? *gigglesnorts*
You know, even though this is a musical, you’ve got Tom’s character down pat. You’ve managed to capture the creepiness and the evil, plus you added in some funny lines. Perfect.
Also, I was just curious as to what you imagine Tom to sound like. I picture him sounding like the Phantom from ‘The Phantom of the Opera,’ perhaps mixed with Chauvelin from ‘The Scarlet Pimpernel’ once he becomes Voldemort.
I completely agree with Stubby (Stubbornly_appeared). You could be the next Weird Al.
Until next time!
- Katie
P.S. Chapter two of “Becoming Extraordinary” is up! Woot?
P.P.S. You said you wanted to take the Potter's Pentagon Quiz I made, so try it here: http://www.quizilla.com/users/harrypotterfangirl21/quizzes/Which%20PP%20Character%20Are%20You%3F/ Let me know who you get!
Author's Response: Thanks so much! Since you\'re hilarious, your opinion means a lot to me! I imagine Voldemort sounding like Michael Crawford, but I don\'t really have a mental image of what Tom would sound like *before* he turned into Voldemort and got the high-pitched Michael Crawford voice...
I will definitely read your story! Oh, and I got Emma on the quiz!
Date: 10/31/07 Title: Chapter 2: Act 2
SCHMERGO!
*tacklehugs Schmergo*
*Schmergo turns purple*
*lets go*
Wow. What can I say? This is brilliant. You’ve got the timing, the rhythm, and the rhyming down pat, and this was an enjoyable read. You’re scarily talented at this — I can’t spoof to save my life. (Really. I’m terrible.)
Let a creepy stalker boy dream.
HA. Except, you know, Snape wasn’t that stalker-y. But I digress.
ASPLODES. ZOMG. THAT IS THE BESTEST WORD EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am SO starting a petition to put that in the dictionary. ^_^
Nobody to cry once I have fried you Oh. Oh my Godric. Hysterical. I got a mental image of Voldemort lowering Harry into a vat of deep-fry oil and going, “Yes! Deep fry you!”
. . .
My mind is a STRAAAAAAAANGE place.
I’m just wondering… is it weird, having spoofed the same scene in two separate spoofs? (I’m talking about the Department of Mysteries scene that you also spoofed with ‘The Phantom of the Opera.’ Just curious.)
VOLDEMORT:
And I will kill you now
And I will kill you here.
DUMBLEDORE:
You say that quite a lot…
VOLDEMORT:
That’s low!
I laughed out loud here. It’s so true! In every book, Voldy goes: “I’m going to kill you now, Harry/Dumbledore/random person on the street.”
*Harry/Dumbledore/random person on the street gets away*
Voldy: RATS! LEAVE ME ALONE! *EMO SOBS* T_T
I teared up at “Learning” and “Empty Chairs At The House Tables.” That was so sad! *joins Voldy in EMO SOBBING* (Even though I’m not emo. Like, at all.)
The Final Battle. Did I ever mention that I HATED the Final Battle? (Well, now I did.) However, you have taken a scene I loathed and turned it into a Musical Extravaganza. It’s almost tolerable.
Basically, Schmergo, you’re brilliant. Absolutely, positively, brilliant.
- Katie
P.S. Please do check your PMs. I sent you something rather urgent.
Author's Response: Awwww! *Ish purple* I personally saw Snape as creepily Stalker-ish (reread the scene where he first meets Lily!)
It\'s weird doing the same scenes in different ways indeed, especially since I\'m doing a Lord Voldemort musical on Wicked... I keep writing some of the same lines, as well!
I actually liked the final battle... I originally loved it right up to the face-off between Harry and Volders, and then I thought it was a cop-out. But then I reread it, and I thought their face-off was really good. I don\'t know why.
Thank you so much for all of your great reviews!
I\'ve read all of the PMs, I just have had trouble finding a way to respond.
Date: 10/22/07 Title: Chapter 1: Songs From Act One
Oh. Oh my Godric. You have spoofed Voldemort's life.
0_0
0_0
0_0
I cannot get over this.
0_0
0_0
This was excellent, but... wow. I'm speechless. I can't think straight. I think the awesomeness of this spoof has caused an awesomeness overload in my tiny leetle brain.
Great job. (Yes, my face is still 0_0 _
- Katie
Author's Response: Hahahahah, that\'s a lot of faces. *Schmergo\'s intelligent comment of the day* I had to do something like this. If anyone deserves to have a musical about him, it\'s Voldershmookins.
Heart of a Lion by devil_duckling
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: In the wake of Colin's death, Dennis is left in the middle of the Final Battle, alone and grieving.
But through his pain, Dennis strives to kill the one's who took Colin from him, charging through the battle, and eventually the Forest, where he finds a certain stone...
I am Maraurderinchief/Devil_Duckling of Gryffindor house, and this is my submission to the Full Moon One-Shot challenge.
Date: 11/03/07 Title: Chapter 1: Heart of a Lion
Ooh, glad to see that this got posted! You really did a great job on this fic, especially the end... '
- Katie
Author's Response: Thank you, you\'re a great beta!
I\'m sorry i never showed you the stone part, but I was rejected twice (grrrr) so i really just wanted to get back in the line ASAP.
Long-Distance Extendable Ears by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 3rd-5th Years • Summary: Fred is dead.
But that's just the beginning! Because one of George's ears is up in heaven, and the other is down on earth...
Oh, the possibilities!
Written for the Next Great Adventure challenge on the MNFF beta boards. I am Schmerg_The_Impaler of Hufflepuff House.
Twice nominated for Best Post-Hogwarts Story in the 2008 Quicksilver Quills Awards!
Date: 10/31/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One and Only
Psst... the entire thing is in italics. Oopsie! ^^;
I loved the description of dying and heaven and such. Perfect.
And WHERE did you even get the idea for this? Really, now. It’s so ORIGINAL. And CREATIVE. And CAPS LOCK worthy.
“I’m sorry?” said Dumbledore mildly. “I was momentarily distracted by this fascinating bit of carpet fluff and didn’t catch a word of what you just said.” That’s a perfect characterisation of Dumbledore, right there. I laughed out loud at that.
And I absolutely LURVE the references to dead people — John Lennon, Martin Luther King Jr., etc. That’s just really awesome.
“Mum, I promise I won’t get in a sword fight with anyone with a peg leg and an octopus beard. And I’ll hardly ever fire the cannon at anyone, and I’ll try not to get marooned on a rum-filled island.” HA. Pirates of the Caribbean reference, anyone? ^_~
The idea of George buying his remaining ear an earring and “treating it right” is really fantastic. Little details like that make your stories great.
And her carnivorous plants were big softies, really, once they got used to you and they stopped trying to eat you. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You should have seen how hard I laughed at that! Tears came to my eyes! (I laugh at really odd things. ‘Tis part of being Katie.)
Awwwwwwwww. I feel bad for Fred! Missing out on George’s wedding and all... that’s sad. :(
At least he was better off than Charlie–the poor man’s middle name was ‘Nazi.’ Tee hee. ‘Charlie Nazi Weasley.’ Oh, I can see the jokes coming now... ^_^
“Albus Severus,” said Fred. “I remember how much Dumbledore laughed. I wish I could’ve seen the look on Snape’s face, though. He’d probably die again.” I feel bad for Albus Severus. What kind of a name IS that, anyway? What’ll Harry name his next kid, ‘Dobby Hedwig’? I can see Dumbledore laughing at that, though.
“Eat my shorts.” You know, I think I might claim those for my last words. Much better than “Look at me” or “Severus... please...” or anything like that.
I got a little misty-eyed there at the end when George died and came to Heaven, ‘cause it was sad and yet awesome at the same time.
Also, I know you’ve been working on Eglantine in our OC Class, and I’ve got to say, she’s a really believable OC. It’s obvious that you know everything about her and that you put a lot of time and effort into creating her character — and it really makes the story better.
Basically, this was an awesome one-shot. I hope you win the challenge!
- Katie
Author's Response: Thanks so much, Katie! I just un-italicized it... hehehehe.... I got the idea as soon as I read DH. I was talking to my friend about how sad I was that Fred was dead... then I thought, \"Well, what if he can talk to George through his disembodied ear, huh?\" I had a lot of fun with this story. There wasn\'t really THAT much about Eglantine, as the story\'s really about Fred and George, but you will see more of her to come!
Date: 11/01/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One and Only
Um, Schmergo, Helios Sol was talking about the thing where you said you only get 30 minutes of computer time a day, remember? Though I don't think you could submit scanned pages to the mods... you could always give them to a beta or something, though, and then they could type them up.
(Yes, I'm thinking of every possible way that you can update. Bear with me here.)
Did you know that "The Dark Lord's Blog" is a Runner Up in the QSQs? Congrats! :)
And, erm, I saw the bit about you updating "Love A Duck" today... you have a beta for that, you know. *points to self*
- Katie
P.S. Saw your response. Glad to hear there's more Eggs to come! *hides from Eglantine*
Author's Response: Oh, I\'m allowed to use the computer more now! Hooray for me getting a 98% on my math final and making the world right again!
I\'s very excited about the QSQ! I made my family come and look! ^_^
Charity and Red Wine by Wings of the Morning
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: Narcissa knows exactly what death tastes like. [Narcissa kills five people. One shot. Dark.]
Date: 11/05/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Whoa. This is such a fantastic angsty fic! I"m in awe.
I love the lines about "Narcissa knows what death smells like" and such. That was a brilliant way to bring in the five senses as she kills five seperate people.
I've got chills from that ending, too -- I don't particularly see Narcissa as suicidal, but your fic just might have convinced me otherwise.
Fantastic work!
- Katie
Vicarious by MaiaMadness
Rated: 6th-7th Years •Summary:
Severus doesn't believe there is good in the world. How can there be, when he must kill Albus Dumbledore?
Date: 01/26/08 Title: Chapter 1: Vicarious
So much pain. From the very first line of this fic, I could tell I was in for a great read. When a story begins in such a captivatingly simple way, I’m instantly sucked in.
Snape’s thoughts on how people think of pain is also amazingly accurate. I, for one, don’t mind reading, watching, or writing about extremely violent things — as long as they’re unattached to me and my life.
He said, “There are many forms of evil, and people may do evil things, but people in general are not evil. Though some are selfish, proud or ambitious, this does not make them bad. People may do evil deeds, but that does not make the people evil. Just like how performing a dark spell does not make you a dark wizard, and how the lightest of magic can be used for dark purposes.”
That is an excellent, excellent definition of intent. If I were to kill a cockroach using the Avada Kedavra, after all, I would hardly consider that to be Dark. And if I were to use something like Aguamenti to drown someone, then I would hardly consider that Light. It’s a kind of fine line, but in the end, it’s the intent that really makes the difference.
It also does sound like something Dumbledore would say and believe; and it’s incredibly like Snape to not believe in this theory. So far, everyone’s perfectly in-character, which is a feat that many authors can’t pull off, though you do it brilliantly.
Dumbledore’s little speech on love also sounded exactly like him. I really liked how you incorporated that into your fic, because he put emphasis on love so much in the books. Putting in details like that just makes the fic seem more . . . real.
I am sat in my office, staring at the walls. Forgive me for finding a grammar error, but it really should be ‘I am sitting in my office. . . .’
I also really like how you switched from the scene in Dumbledore’s office to when Snape killed him. Doing this really brought a different take to the story, and it made reading a lot more enjoyable.
Ooh. Knowing about what happened to Ariana really puts into perspective exactly why Dumbledore felt that empathy towards Snape. I also kind of liked seeing Angry!Snape at the mention of what happened to Lily.
Whoa. Snape’s thoughts on killing Dumbledore really are just . . . perfect. I don’t know how else to say it. I really like how you kept emphasising that he thinks the world is evil. That brought new insight into his character for me — before, I pictured him as just a man who had bad things happen to him; now, I see him as a man who kind of expected bad things to happen, because in his mind, nothing good can occur in such an ‘evil’ world. That’s my take, anyway.
And, vicariously, I live, though my world has died. That is an absolutely stunning end. The ending, much like the beginning, is really captivating and deep.
This was a truly great fic.
- Katie
Author's Response: Wow! Thank you so much for such an amazing review! I\'m honoured to receive something so substatial and full.
To address the gramatical issue... Actually, \"I am sat\" isn\'t exactly wrong... That is, it is wrong in official written prose, but not really in the spoken word, and first person is \"spoken\", in a manner of speaking. \"I am sat\" doesn\'t mean quite the same thing as \"I am sitting\". It\'s a more passive nuance. Don\'t know how else to explain it, but I do know it isn\'t incorrect per se.
I was most worried about Dumbledore. I get Snape; his character comes easy to me. But Dumbledore is a character I have very little experience with. Lately, though, I\'ve been using him a lot. I think book seven sort of made him more \"human\", which makes him easier to grasp and characterise for me.
I\'m really glad you enjoyed my story, and thank you, once again, so much for a lovely review!
Maia
green eyes- seen by Stubbornly_appeared
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: "and she tries
not
to think of them,
maybe once more...."
Ginny tries not to think of Harry's eyes and the things they have seen. She tries not to think of him.
And fails.
Date: 11/18/07 Title: Chapter 1: green eyes- seen
Wow, Stubby. Just. . . wow.
This was EXCELLENT. My favourite stanza was:
and they lock,
he
and she; can’t break his eyes
like glass
In that section, it's almost like you're calling his eyes glass, which is brilliant, as he's dead and his eyes might be "glassy."
My only concrit is all the punctuation. I understand the purpose it served, and that it brought a unique element to this poem, but it almost seemed "too much" after a while.
But I'm a nitpicker, so that may just be me.
ANYWAY. This was fabulous. The repetition, the rhythm (which sounded almost song-like at times), the wording -- all were amazing.
Great job!
- Katie
Author's Response: *goofy grin*
*trying to think of something to say, but just still smiling like an idiot*
Um... uh....
THANKS!
Yeah, I like that stanza too. At first, I had something really bad. But then that wonderful line came into my head. I did mean it the way you saw it; I broke the line there so it could fit either way.
Mmm, yes. I think the punctuation IS a bit excessive. I think I\'ll go back and edit....
*still beaming*
*gurgle*
Thanks, again. And again.
-Stubby
The Wizard & the Hopping Pot by thechocolatefrog
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Harry, Ron, and Hermione sit down to read from The Tales of Beedle the Bard.
Missing moment in DH.
Date: 11/18/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Ooh, this finally got up! Congratulations!
I've got to say that I really do like this fic. (And no, I'm not just saying that because I beta-ed it.)
The idea was not only original and sweet, but it was a great turn away from all the angst that people have gotten from DH.
Good job, and congrats that this got up!
- Katie
Author's Response: hehe you are a great beta though. thanks!
Potter's Pentagon: The Truth (Book Two) by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: This is book two in the "Potter's Pentagon" trilogy. Read "Potter's Pentagon: The Five" first, myesss? Cool.
WARNING: This story contains French people, an internal monologue about a blue orange, adolescent facial hair, good old-fashioned snogging, superstitious truck drivers, a portrait who calls everyone "Mavis," a zoo break-in, some very strange clothes, romantic conflict galore, and Ron Weasley's caffeine addiction. And worst of all, Professor Zabini!
Hogwarts is hosting the Triwizard Tournament, and when one of the members of Potter's Pentagon is selected to represent the school, much excitement ensues. Simultaneously, elections are being held for Minister of Magic, and things are getting busy at the Ministry.
Not to mention the fact that Jordan's made a new Muggle friend without informing her of the itty-bitty fact that he's magical, Haley has found an enchanted diary of dubious origin, Ted's met a werewolf from Beauxbatons, and Emma... well, Emma's not having a good year.
And what exactly is Ivy up to, anyway?
Everyone has secrets. But in the end, the truth will have to come out.
Starring Best Male Original Character runner-up Jordan Potter, Best Female Original Character Nominees Ivy Potter, Emma Weasley, Haley Potter, and Giorgi Anderson, and Best Male Original Character nominee Ted Lupin! Nominated for Best Post-Hogwarts story in the 2008 Quicksilver Quill Awards!
Date: 12/09/07 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4: In Which Ted Continues To Be Adorable
I am SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY for the double-post! *hangs head in shame*
Oh, a few quick things:
1. "Your mother is a BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP ing BEEEEEEEEEEEP Lorum Ipsum BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP Admitum Venium BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP Prragoona BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP Hippopotamus BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP Republican BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP Daniel Radcliffe BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP With A Bucket Of BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP In A Castle Far Away Where No One Can Hear You BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP Soup BEEEEEEEEEEEEP With A Bucket Of BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP Mickey Mouse BEEEEEEEEEP And A Stick Of Dynamite BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP Magical BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP Alakazam!"
2. I WANT TO SEE NATIONAL TREASURE 2. Riley is awesome!
3. I ALSO WANT TO SEE SWEENEY TODD. Even though I'm not 17, I'm still going. (Death. Blood. Music. Johnny Depp. What more could you ask for?)
4. I like pie.
5. This isn't spam if you cross your eyes, wiggle your nose, and scream "AY JUWACACCA!"
6. Oh, and I can sing 'Silent Night' in German now. Yay me, I know some German! (Well, not really, but whatever.)
- Katie
Author's Response: 1. YESSSSSSSSSS! I loved that new PotterPuppetPals. Neville is made of adorable-ness.
2. Thank you! Someone agrees with me!
3. You forgot another important component of Sweeney Todd: PIE. Also, Alan Rickman. ^_^ I have been invited by three separate groups of friends who don\'t know each other, so hopefully my parents will let me go. If I can see it, it\'ll be my first R-rated film. Fortunately, I have a couple of seventeen-or-older buddies.
4. WHAT A COINKY-DINK! ME, TOO! AS LONG AS SWEENEY TODD DOESN\"T BAKE THEM! Dude, I had a dream that I was Sweeney Todd last night. I\'ll tell you about it later, because it was really disturbin\'.
5. Hahahah, you always make me laugh. Too bad I can\'t cross my eyes. It\'s kind of like Haley\'s eyebrow thing... something I cannot do that really irks me when someone else can do it.
6. Stille nacht, ruhe nacht... hehehe, I\'m far too German for my own good. I am in German 5 because I\'m weird like that.
Date: 12/23/07 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: In Which Emma Enjoys Mild Insanity
I AM A TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE, PERSON.
The notification email for this went into my Spam mail folder, which I JUST CHECKED. And I now feel insanely idiotic and, well, TERRIBLE.
I shall actually review in a matter of minutes. This was more of an apology for my review's lateness.
- Katie
P.S. DUDE! I saw Sweeney Todd last night, and IT. WAS. AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!! There was sooooo much blood and music and insanity and I LOVED EVERY MINUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!! In fact, I'm seeing it again. Soon.
Author's Response: Awww, that\'s all right! Don\'t feel like you\'re obligated to review.
I\'m SOOOO GLAD that you liked Sweeney Todd, because I really, really, really want to see it. I did hear there was a lot of blood, but I think I can deal with it. Tell me, did Timothy Spall sing?
Date: 11/21/07 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2: In Which Deja Vu Appears In The Form Of A Diary Of Dubious Origin
MERRRRRRLIN’S BEARD!!!!!!!! THAT WAS AN INSANELY QUICK UPDATE!!!!!!!!!
Wow. I now picture Ron shaking and talking really fast. . . namely what happens to me when I drink five Red Bulls. ^^; (Which is probably why I've been banned from them, now that I think about it.)
The game that Haley and Emma played is creative and amusing. . . I don’t exactly approve of it (I hate when people judge me by how I look), but it makes for good reading.
I love Haley’s *cough*fake*cough* reaction to the Triwizard Tournament. SQUEE! ^_^
Hm. . . I bet that since Ivy DOESN’T want to enter, she’s getting picked.
*pause*
NAHHHHHHH. But seriously, if you don’t pick Jordan, I think I may have to e-hit-you-on-the-head-with-a-rubber-chicken. I won’t stop reading, but I will be VERY upset. *pointed glare*
ZOMG. HALEY! STEP AWAY FROM THE DIARY. DON’T DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE don't let that be something bad! I like Haley too much for her to die!
Wait, I think I know who Lee is. . . Lee Jordan? And Harry was the one asking about Horcruxes! But, er, Lee left before Harry’s sixth year. . . hm.
Aw, I like that Jordan’s finally a bit normal. ‘Tis nice.
You had to call it ‘lounging’ or something like that, and then you’d have to throw in adverbs like ‘suavely’ or ‘urbanely.’ Probably less than two percent of the human population were capable of evoking an air of dignity and informality, power and humility, and confidence and humbleness just by sitting in a chair, but Tancred Apple possessed this rare talent.
HA. Just curiously, though, is he meant to be a Gary-Stu? I’m not sure. . . I don’t think so, but ya never know.
“What a pansy,” commented Ron as he walked past on his way back from the coffee machine.
“Must you always insult the plants?” tutted Harry.
“Well, his name is Apple,” Ron pointed out.
“True.”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! *wipes tears from eyes* That’s pretty hysterical.
How DARE you say this chapter was boring! It was quite entertaining, kthanksverymuch.
And I shall be eagerly awaiting updates! ^_^
- Katie
Author's Response: I KNOW! I KNOW! I can\'t believe this update was so fast! Maybe these mods don\'t hate me as much as I thought they did!
Hahahaha, the idea of hyper!Ron amuses me... I was thinking more along the lines of him needing caffeine to stay aliiiive at all and just totally passing out without it.
I do not like Haley and Emma\'s game, either. I like to kind of emphasize how they can be pretty insensitive without even thinking about it... though Emma moreso than Haley, as you\'ll see later in the story.
You will see about Haley and Lee and Tournament and stufff... can\'t say anything about it.
Tancred Apple\'s middle name is Gary-Stu. Oh, okay... it\'s Llewellyn. But still, he\'s supposed to be the Gary-Stu to end all Stus. I actually based Mungo Phelps on him, since I wrote this story first (and before the Dark Lord\'s Blog.)
Glad you found the story entertaining! The first three chapters of the story contain much exposition, but after that, it picks up a LOT more.
Date: 12/23/07 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: In Which Emma Enjoys Mild Insanity
I AM A TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE, PERSON.
The notification email for this went into my Spam mail folder, which I JUST CHECKED. And I now feel insanely idiotic and, well, TERRIBLE.
I shall actually review in a matter of minutes. This was more of an apology for my review's lateness.
- Katie
P.S. DUDE! I saw Sweeney Todd last night, and IT. WAS. AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!! There was sooooo much blood and music and insanity and I LOVED EVERY MINUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!! In fact, I'm seeing it again. Soon.
Author's Response: Deja vooooo!
Date: 12/23/07 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: In Which Emma Enjoys Mild Insanity
I am also a terrible person because I just double-posted. *bangs head repeatedly* *loses all shreds of intelligence*
*is dazed* Do I know you?
*hits head again* There, that’s better. Now, to the ACTUAL REVIEW. (Yes, there is one.)
“I can’t believe it,” she grumbled. “I was just having the best dream about a world made of jellies, and you just totally spoiled it.” Ha! I have dreams like that all the time, oddly enough. . . . For instance, last night I dreamed . . . actually, never mind. It’s kind of disturbing and not really funny. (And, by the way, you never fully told me about the dream where you were Sweeney Todd. . . . Ah, well. LIFE SHALL GO ON! *is dramatic*)
The Jarvey was really creative, and I like the word ‘porkies’ quite a bit. Mind if I borrow (*cough*STEAL*cough*) it?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The entire Fwooper scene was HILARIOUS! *puts on serious face* There ARE bananas in the sky. If you play Tag with five people at precisely 10:15 PM on the Winter Solstice, they appear. I know. I’ve tried it.
And there are indeed blue oranges. They taste like a plastic pen cap.
*smacks Fwooper* That thing just won’t leave me alone! And people wonder why I’m so crazy. . . . CRAZY! I was crazy once! They took me away and put me underground and there were bugs and the bugs drove me crazy! CRAZY! I was crazy once! They took me away and put me underground and there were bugs and the bugs drove me crazy! CRAZY! I was cr— *is smacked* (I got that from a chain email. Shh!)
“You look like an Archibald,” Emma said out loud. “I will call him Archibald, and he will be mine, and he will be my Archibald. I will hug him and squeeze him and call him Archibald. Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.” FINDING NEMO! AHOHEMGEE! (Sound it out.) That movie is the BESTEST. Gimme some noggin’! DUUUUUDE! ^_^
Haley wants to be an actress?! What a shocker! *is sarcastic* Nah, I relate. I want to be one too. . . . In fact, I just got the lead in the school musicale! *does victory dance, which resembles the Cabbage Patch*
I am awaiting updates eagerly, and now check my Spam folder about once a minute. (“Buy WonderGro — It solves all your gardening problems!” No, thank you.)
Merry Christmas! Expect an emailed gift. : )
- Katie
P.S. I may have to put off emailing you the spoof I PMed you about, because it kinda sorta got deleted. MEH.
Author's Response: Hahahah, sorry about making you head-bang! *Hands you head-on-- apply directly to the forehead*
I will totally tell you about the Sweeney dream... *puts post-it note on my head* I don\'t THINK I invented the word \'porkies,\' but if I did, feel free to use it.
Aha, but I DID play tag at 10:15 PM on the WInter Solstice, and all that appeared was PLANTAINS! Foiled again, missy!
There ARE blue oranges? Now, I chew plastic pen caps obsessively (it\'s a rather disgusting habit, but it\'s better than tobacco, I guess), so I\'d probably enjoy them, but I don\'t see why they make \'em if they taste so bad.
That crazy... bugs... thing... was incredibly popular in my second grade class. We would all ride on the swings and say that over and over and over again.
I had to reference FInding Nemo. That movie is spifftastic.
I HATE it when things get deleted off my computer. Punch it in the nose for me. Wait... computers don\'t have noses...
YOU GOT THE LEAD?!?! NOOO WAY! What part? What\'s the musical? I\'ve never heard of someone who\'s not a senior or junior getting the lead in a school musical! I am incredibly jealous!
Date: 11/20/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: In Which Jordan Spends Most of the Chapter Being Surprised
YES! I CAN SEE IT NOW! OHEMGEE! I’M SQUEALING OUT LOUD AS I TYPE, EARNING ME SOME VERY STRANGE LOOKS! YAY!
The bit about the moving guys is a neato way to start the series.
“Wonder what drugs he was on at the time.” HA. Made me giggle and disrupt practice for this band I help out with. Oh well.
“Normal my bum. Tell me how normal you think they are when they’ve tied you up to a stake and sprinklin’ paprika on you and tryin’ to sacrifice you to the cattle god Moostawfuh or something.” *blinks rapidly* Wow. So, uh, you’re a cattle god, huh? (Tee hee, says Kawfundah.)
I do like the description of Malfoy as a “soulless lump.” ‘Tis a perfect fit for him, no? ^_^
I like the character recaps — nice way to kind of track the changes since the last book. And now for my opinions!
Ivy: Right now, she doesn’t seem to have changed too drastically. I’m sure that internally she’s quite a different person, but at the moment we don’t see much of that.
Ted: You’re mean to Ted! First he had a cracking voice, then he became a werewolf, and now he’s all awkward and scarecrow-y! Ah, well. He’s still a really great guy. . . RIGHT? *pointed stare*
Haley: WHOA. Wait a second now. I know Haley’s based on you, but, ah, you just described me. (Hate my long first name (Katie’s muh nickname), eats too much sugar, energetic, hyper, in way too many plays to count, etc. (Except my hair’s not black. But I digress.)) Just curiously, you’re not stalking me for inspiration, are you? *looks wildly around* *hides*
Jordan: *puts on sweet little girl voice* Can I have him for Christmas, Santa? *is thrown into the looney bin* (Huh, it’sa hard eto typioe int a straigfhtjsacket.) He seems to be much happier than in the first book. Yay for less emo-ness! ^_^
Emma: She seems pretty much awesome. . . though perhaps a tad Mary-Sue-ish at this point. (Well, if you don’t count in her temper, anyway.) *hides from the wrath of Schmergo*
Giorgi: Ah, she seems. . . interesting. Very, um, colourful. (Please tell me you don’t have orange hair like her, Schmergo. That’s creepy.) And pretty much in exact contrast to Jordan. . . which is why they’re probably going to end up together eventually. MEH.
It was like finally seeing the Loch Ness Monster after years of careful study and research. Jordan felt like yelling, “MERLIN’S NOSE HAIR, A MUGGLE!” But as he was not, after all, Haley, all he said was, “I go to a private boarding school, up in Scotland.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Okay, getting back on the chair I fell off of. . . .
This should be interesting. A Muggle, next to the Potters? Oh, what insanity!
“Of course, I’ve been entertained by playing lint football, with the lint as the ball, my right hand as Manchester United, and my left hand as Brazil, so I’m, like, really easily amused.” Wow. I thought I was the only one who’d ever played lint football! *is kidding*
Also… and though this wasn’t something of which he was proud, it was true nonetheless… Jordan had always wanted power. Ooh, I’m sensing a tiny bit of teen Tom Riddle tendencies here, yeah? Interesting. . . .
NSIDFBNUIBFIUEDVNUIRNFGRE???????? JORDAN ISN’T A PREFECT?
*brain explodes*
Nice going, Schmergo. You’ve exploded my brain with frustration and unexpected twists. How I can still type with an exploded brain is a miracle.
“Prefects can’t actually take points from other houses,” Jordan pointed out knowledgeably. “And even if they could, there’s no such number as a squintillion.” Very nice. Jordan’s bitter, but I can’t say I blame him. . . Quidditch Captain doesn’t quite measure up to Prefect.
I did like the Ted/Ivy bit at the end of the chapter quite a lot, and I’m interested to see how they act as Prefects around each other. . . .
Great chapter, Schmergo. Update soon!
(Or else I may just have to poke you until you do. POKE!)
- Katie *has had too much sugar*
Author's Response: WOWIE WOW. I always love your reviews.
I wrote this story a year ago, but I added the moving guys last week. I thought the story needed a more... interesting beginning. And yes, I did put in Moostawfuh as a reference to the Hufflepuff thingy.
TED IS STILL AMAZINGLY WONDERFUL. I have to give Ted physical flaws/awkwardness because he\'s such a nice and loveable person that if he were really handsome, he wouldn\'t be believable. Besides, I\'m sure he\'ll grow into his body when he\'s older. (And I personally think lanky boys are cute. Like Neil Cicierega... he looks JUST like Ted, but with brown eyes and glasses.)
Oh, Haley is not based on me. She just has some of my characteristics. I am NOT girly... I love clothes, but I am very, very different from Haley in many ways. Now, we\'re both hyper and love musical theatre and sugar, but that\'s where the similarities end. Because I love to raise one eyebrow. I do it several times a day! Haley\'s eyebrow-hating quirk came from my best friend... and a lot of her sounds a lot like my sister. *shrug* No one\'s really based on anyone.
Yeah, Emma seems pretty Mary-Sue-ish. I guess I wanted to emphasize how perfect she seems, because in this story, she does some pretty crazy/thoughtless things due to stress, and I always like that contrast of someone who seems perfect and then has some major imperfections.
Oh, I look nothing like Giorgi. And I\'ve never dyed my hair. But I do have wacky dress sense, and I\'d never written about a wackily-dressed character before! So I picked Giorgi!
I always kind of like putting Jordan in a place between Harry and Voldemort... he is happier in this book, but he will never be on par with Haley when it comes to happiness levels.
*Starts giggling mysteriously at the mention of Ted and Ivy*
Date: 12/02/07 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3: In Which The Champions Stood; The Rest Saw Their Better
TEH SCHMERGO! ANOTHER CHAPTER! I’M SO EXCITED! I’M USING CAPS LOCK! COULD YOU TELL? ^_^
Ooh, Grawp’s the gamekeeper? That’s a really good idea. But you killed Hagrid! *pus on strange accent* Vhy deed you keel heem?
*stops talking in an accent*
I love the name Marina! It reminds me of the ocean. . . . And, ah, Mary-Sue alert! (For Marina.) Meep.
Just out of curiosity, how do you pronounce “Vladislav”? I tried saying it out loud, but it sounded REALLY strange. I think I said “Votdislove” or something. (And herrrrrrrre’s Super Katie, butcherer of words!)
I love the tidbit of Jordan ANGST we got. I feel really bad, though, that he didn’t get Prefect. . . he DID deserve it.
Great, now I picture Jordan imitating Gollum and being all “The precioussssssss badge. . . they stole it from ussssssss. . . .” (Beautiful mental image, that.)
I like that they all put their names in at the same time. Very unison of them. (Okay, that was a REALLY bad adjective.) and ‘Merlin’s thong’ made me burst into giggles. . . .
TEDWARD! Oh my Godric, I want to name something that! I’m naming my new goldfish that (the old one died). I hope you don’t mind.
An extremely major exception to this rule was Haley, whose nervousness was causing her to talk even more than usual, and so rapidly and unintelligibly that even patient Ted, always a good listener, was getting a bit irked. That sounds like me. . . . When I’m nervous, I get EXTREMELY hyper.
Wait, if Lee Jordan was dead, then it ISN’T Lee Jordan. . . right? Maybe? Ish? Oh, I’m so confuzzled!
Emma. Won. My brain cannot process this. I think my mind has gone into slow motion.
WHAT ABOUT JORDAN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! (There, I think my mind’s back now.) WHAT ABOUT HIM, HUH?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! WHY DID HE NOT WIN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
If you weren’t such a good writer, I’d stop reading now because he didn’t win. But, sadly, I am hooked.
However, I do like that Jordan is realising how much of a prat he is. (FINALLY!) I still wish he would have won, though.
“Shut up,” replied Emma. “I’ve exerted myself a lot today, and my eyeballs are merely perspiring.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I laughed out loud there.
Overall, this was a really good chapter. I can’t say I like the fact that Emma was chosen as Champion, but I do think that it’ll be interesting to see how she gets through all the challenges — and how everyone else reacts. (Besides Jordan and Haley, I mean.)
Update soon!
- Katie
Author's Response: Marina is a Mary-Sue. I wanted Emma to compete against a Mary-Sue and a genius, because she\'s kind of a big fish in a small pond, and I want her to feel a little less special. I know, I\'m so evil. There\'s another reason why Marina had to be a Mary-Sue, but you\'ll see that one later.
I couldn\'t let Jordan win because he has to get to a certain point of maturity before the third book, and I had to have him come to terms with not always winning everything and not being perfect. Not being the Triwizard champion gives Jordan the opportunity to obsess over being a Quidditch captain as well, which is always fun. But I\'m sorry, because I REALLY WANTED TO MAKE JORDAN WIN! I love Jordan and I feel horrible about how I\'m treating him.
I... don\'t... know how to pronounce Vladislav. I think it\'s pronounced like it\'s spelled, Vlad-is-lav, but that\'s why I write, not tell stories out loud. I can\'t pronounce half the words I use. ^_^