The detentions of the school-renowned Marauders started the following Monday. For that whole week, James returned to the common room very late. In the mornings, the Marauders all looked ready to allow their heads to fall into their porridge. In fact, this unfortunately happened to dear old Sirius and, to avoid embarrassment, he laughed about it directly afterward. Nikeia�s effort to help him clean up helped his attitude immensely.
On the fifth night of work, James came in, removed the gold-and-red tie from around his throat, unbuttoned the top two buttons of his white shirt, and flopped over the back of the couch. He groaned.
Upside down, he could see Lily, who was sitting at the table by the open window, look up from her essay and raise an eyebrow. He could only assume he looked a sight, with his back on the seat of the couch and his knees hanging over the back. His head was hanging within a few inches of the floor.
�Well, you�re back a bit earlier than I expected. Did you finally finish the Trophy Room?� asked Lily, returning to her Potions essay. James just nodded and groaned again.
�Then, what�s wrong?� asked Lily.
�It�s our turn to patrol the corridors tonight,� moaned James. He heard Lily slap her hand to her forehead, some rummaging, and then departing footsteps. They stopped soon however, and returned to him.
�I�m not letting you get out of this just because you�re tired and sore. We are the Heads meaning we have to patrol the corridors together. Come on, Potter!� She walked back to the couch and managed to pull James onto his feet and half drag him to the door, grabbing his shoes and over-robe on the way. Once in the hallway, James walked slowly, but at least he walked. Rubbing his eyes fiercely with the heels of his hands, he was able to regain some of his energy before shrugging on his robe and hopping into his shoes.
�I�ve got to stop having these late nights,� he said to himself.
Lily must�ve heard however, because she said: �Yeah, it seems McGonagall just loves keeping you up late,�
�McGonagall? This is the first detention she- oh,� he stopped abruptly. He remembered his excuse for Remus�s last transformation. �Yeah, she does keep us up late.�
�But you do like McGonagall any other day, right?� asked Lily.
�Well, of course!� said James, rolling his eyes slightly, not sure why she would ask such a question. �How could I not like McGonagall? She�s strict and gives us plenty of homework,� he said, a hint of sarcasm in his voice. James and Lily looked at each other and smiled. �Yeah, I do like McGonagall. She is a marvelous teacher. And, after all, she did give us the name �Marauders.��
�Indeed.� They walked in silence for a few moments. �You know how we were just talking about human transfiguration in class?� asked Lily, keeping her eyes on the stone floor in front of her. �Have you ever, well, wondered what form you would take if you were to be an Animagus?�
Her voice was light and innocent, but he had heard it before when Sirius was trying to get information from him. So, James stopped in mid-step.
�What�s wrong?� asked Lily, turning back to look at him. �Is Peeves floating above me with a bag of chalk?� She looked up at the ceiling, but it was a diversionary tactic James had seen before.
�What? No, Peeves isn�t there!� James felt his eyebrows furrow in confusion and a bit of shock.
Could she know? was the thought that ran through his head.
Aloud, he said, �No, I guess I never really thought about my Animagus form. Not very much anyway.� At least it wasn�t a straight out lie. He did think about it, but not as little as he said.
Lily pulled a face and put up her hands. James understood her look and action to say: �Give me a wild guess.�
�Um... well, probably something powerful and... a leader...� James offered, shrugging and only slightly self-conscious. He told his face to adopt a look of carelessness as he answered. He couldn�t let her know any more than was necessary.
�I think that would make sense, for you. But, what do you think determines the form?� Lily asked, sounding genuinely curious.
�Well, I believe that the form of your Animagus, if you manage to become one, and your Patronus, once again if you manage to conjure one, should be one and the same. It would be kind of like the form of your soul.� Having succeeded in the transformation, he was actually a good source of the information. His hand had been the first to change, followed a week later by antlers growing from his scalp. It had come as a shock at first, but after a bit of research he became excited at the prospect of being a stag.
�Ah, that makes sense. Then yours would probably also be tall and handsome, right? To reflect your arrogance��
James gently pushed Lily�s arm. She laughed lightly, and the part of him trying to keep the Marauder�s secret a secret loved the sound of it.
�Gee, thanks Evans,� he drawled. �So glad you can see that I�m trying to change.�
Lily laughed again, and smiled at him. He smiled back, knowing that she was only teasing. Well, mostly teasing. She had never done anything like it before, not really.
�Anyway, have you ever conjured a Patronus?� Lily asked.
�Um... yeah. Professor Gog mentioned it during a Defense class a while ago. And we were curious�thinking that it would be a good thing to know if ever we ran into a Dementor�not that that is very likely. But, we looked it up. We practiced conjuring them in the Room� in an empty classroom. Took us a while, but we figured it out.�
�What form was yours?� asked Lily, her voice curious.
�Ah... a stag,� said James, very hesitantly.
�Of course! It�s a leader, it�s tall and handsome, and very strong. So your theory holds true. Could you imagine transforming into a stag?� Her voice took on a faraway sound, and James tensed. Yes, he could imagine. Before he could respond, she added, �And what about the others?�
He sighed, glad to be off the topic of his form but still nervous at her questioning. His brow furrowed. �Sirius�s is a large dog and Remus�s is... um... hmm, I think it was something big. He did have some trouble with the spell; our encouragement helped him, but it took a while for it to be a fully corporeal form...� Remus had cast a wolf, but James felt like withholding that information. �Peter never managed to create a corporeal Patronus. He never has been such a good wizard, unfortunately.�
Lily chuckled, and James was sure she understood what he meant.
His mind had begun to churn. Her questions had a reason, they must have. He had vowed to never tell anyone the reason for his late night excursions once-a-month, since it wasn�t his secret to tell, but now, when Lily was dangerously close to finding out the reason with that brilliant mind of her, he didn�t really know what to do.
�Lily,� he said suddenly, �why are you asking me these types of things?�
�Just out of curiosity. I don�t you four very well, so might as well start now.�
James stopped Lily with a hand and turned her toward him. �Evans, you are a smart witch; do you know something?�
�James, I�m just asking these questions to find out more about you.� Lily she was looking into his eyes as she spoke and she made the grave mistake of blinking as she did so. James heart stopped for a moment.
�You�re not telling me the truth. Please, Lily; I must know if you know!� He could hear the urgency and force in his voice, and knew it was the tone of one who had something to protect and needed answers.
Lily held his gaze, searching his eyes.
�Well, on that night when you left me during patrolling,� she began, �I walked over to that window.� She pointed the window at the end of the hall and started walking toward it. She didn�t stop until she was once again looking out of it. �I saw two figures of creatures run across the lawn, in the direction of the Whomping Willow. I began to wonder...
�Then, when I saw you leaning against the bathroom wall, half asleep-� she chuckled slightly here, and James groaned remembering the scene- �I started putting the pieces together. You and the rest of the guys had bruises and cuts. Remus had been acting funny; tired, worn, but a bit agitated. Like he was dreading something that was going to happen. I�ve noticed this before, in previous years. And Nikeia told me that Sirius came in the common room late that night; she worried when he didn�t show up after dinner to talk in the common room.�
James could see her gulp, and she trailed her fingers down the pane of glass. �I had Astronomy the next day, and realized that it had been the full moon. And, I remembered something someone had once said to me. It was actually Snape; you remember, we were close until a year or two ago�� she said, glancing up at James. � she said, glancing up at James.
He had moved to stand beside her, but distanced enough that the faint light from the window was not on him. James nodded, grimacing slightly. He had hated that Lily and Snape had been so close in their early years. It had made him incredibly jealous. Then, he realized that if they had been so close, Snape probably would have told her something about what happened when he tried to follow them down into the passageway below the Whomping Willow. James' heart froze again, and he realized she was very close to guessing. She was smart; she�d be able to put things together.
�Something had happened to him,� Lily was continuing to say, �and it involved you four. I don�t know what it was; he never told me.
�Sev- Snape did say that he thought Remus was a-� she shivered �-is a werewolf. It makes some form of sense. Remus was acting tired and distant the day before the full moon. I saw two animals running toward the forest that night. I realize now that both of them were large enough to take care of something like a werewolf; a stag and a large dog. And from what you told me, it could very well be you and Sirius. You�re both intelligent enough to learn how to become Animagi,� she admitted.
Though he knew she couldn�t see his face as he had remained in the shadows beside the window, he could see hers. It was so full of confusion and despair that his heart nearly broke.
�Then you four come back scarred and tired. And if you were telling the truth�even partially�and you were in the Forbidden Forest that night, it would make sense; of course you�d be cut and bruised from running through the forest with a werewolf. But it seems too ridiculous to be believable. Remus? Kind, dear, quiet Remus; a werewolf? It just doesn�t make sense!� Lily paused for a breath, then admitted: �The only thing is, is that it does! It makes perfect sense.� She leaned forward to fold her arms on the windowsill and place her chin atop them, her eyes looking as if they just might start to water with the weight of the situation.
James continued to look out the window at the sky and grounds. It was some time before either spoke.
�Werewolves don�t usually have control of their situation. It can happen to anyone,� James said.
He caught Lily�s glance. He sighed, reluctant to tell her�to tell Remus�s secret�but he didn�t think he really had a choice now. She knew already, even if she was hesitant to admit it. �It�s true, Lily. Remus was bitten when he was a kid. Peter, Sirius, and I are Animagi. On the night of the full moon we transform to help keep Remus calm. Usually we do get scraped up a bit,� divulged James.
Lily straightened and looked to James.
�James,� she muttered, her voice full of pain.
�It is true, Lily. We found out about Remus early on. We didn�t become Animagi until our fifth year. Sirius turns into a large black dog, as it is who he is; strong, brave, better, and kinder than he appears. Silly, revels in attention, playful. Peter is a rat; maybe because rats band together and Peter had just sort of attached himself to us, I don�t know. He did need a lot of help, though, learning how to become an Animagus. I�m a stag; smart, strong, brave, and a leader. Oh, and you can�t forget the tall and handsome bit.�
Lily chuckled faintly.
James placed a hand on her arm, and slowly turned Lily toward him. As they looked into each other�s green eyes, he did something he never did unless it was the night of the full moon.
---
Lily gasped; the eyes into which she was looking remained, but the features around them started to shift, fading and changing. Then, a stag was standing there, with near-white fur, strong antlers, and large hazel eyes.
�James?� she whispered in barely an audible voice. The stag gently tossed his head. Lily slowly reached out a slightly shaky hand and touched the end of the muzzle.
She quickly drew her hand back, but since the stag didn�t dissolve or do anything of the sort, she reached out again.
She drew her hand up along the length of the stag�s nose and then back down with the back of her fingers. She brought her hand to stroke the cheek of the large animal. She blinked slowly, still trying to take it all in, and when she opened them, James was back. She quickly withdrew her hand from his slightly stubble-covered cheek and stepped backwards, embarrassed that she had touched James in such a way.
�Do you believe me now, Lily?� whispered James.
Lily nodded. �Yes, I do. I don�t think I have a choice when everything points to it. And I am glad that you underwent such a... difficult feat to help a friend,� she said softly. James smiled and squeezed her arm once again.
�But, Lily, you can�t let anyone now. Even Remus. He�s gone through so much, he doesn�t need anything else to hurt him.�
Lily gasped. �You can�t think I would ever want to hurt him? I will keep his secret; nothing between us will change. He�s a dear man that deserves the best, even if he is a werewolf. Especially if.�
�Thank you,� whispered James. �He may not admit it, but he just wants to be loved.�
Lily chuckled in response to James�s tone. �You almost sound embarrassed to admit that.�
James just gave her a look with raised eyebrows, trying to convey--without actually conveying it-- that he was too embarassed.
She chuckled again. �He is loved.�
They fell silent for a few moments, and stared out the window. Somewhere during their discussion, James had taken hold of her hand. She didn�t mind the contact; instead, she marveled at how small hers felt in his.
�Now that you know one secret: do you want to know another?� he asked.
Lily tilted her head and shrugged, but then nodded slowly.
�Well, you remember that first detention?� he asked. Once again, Lily nodded, though she was looking down at the ground. She felt her cheek warm, and hoped he couldn�t see her blush. �Well, I want to do it again.�
�What, scrub floors and rearrange a bookshelf?� she said wryly.
�Kiss you.� He spoke almost before she had finished her sentence.
She lifted her head, her eyes bright and wide. She swallowed again. �Oh, really?�
�Yeah.�
�And what makes you think I�d let you?� She forced herself to breathe evenly and not get flustered, no matter that she had thought about him kissing her again.
�Because you�re curious.�
She scoffed, but drew a shaky breath when he suddenly stepped closer.
�And, deep down, you really do like me.�
She just held his gaze with her own. Her mind, however, was far from still. Her heart had sped up, too; the emotional old thing. �Do I really like you?� she asked.
�You admitted earlier that you wanted to get to know me better.�
�I found out what I needed to know; you�re rather intelligent and a good friend, but still arrogant and devious. And tall, of course.� She was glad her ability to respond quickly had not been shattered by the butterflies getting restless in her stomach.
James gave her a grin that she could only define as slightly predatory.
And how it sent shivers down her spine.
�You know that�s not all.�
She was silent.
�I can also be creative, when I want to be. Which is why I would kiss you in a totally different way.�
Lily bit her lip as she thought quickly. Even in the span of this night, she had learned much about him. When she added it to the rest she had learned this year, she had an image of a man that she would not mind knowing. And perhaps, not mind knowing very well. She looked up at him through her lashes.
�Well, then, Potter. The last time you kissed me was more of an accident, wasn�t?� asked Lily, allowing a smile to play teasingly on her lips.
�Exactly. I�m not much one for accidents. I kissed you accidentally before; you deserve a proper kiss.�
She was silent, still looking at him with bright eyes.
�And, for a proper kiss, I would step closer.�
He did so.
�Then, I would to put my hand right here where I imagine that it fits perfectly.� He gently placed his hand on her cheek.
(To his surprise and delight it did fit perfectly, as if they really were meant to be together. Which, of course, they were; she just didn�t know that.)
�I would to place my other arm around you.� And he did just as he said, pulling her closer toward him. �When I was sure you weren�t going to run away, I would slowly lean down...�
Lily tried hard to ignore the fluttering she felt in her stomach and her heart. (Her Sensible Conscious even mentioned that she still had time to run. It was beaten into oblivion by her giddy Romantic Conscious.)
James�s voice was gentle, but something else in it was urging her to melt into his embrace. The thumb on her cheek moved slowly back and forth, and Lily yearned to lean into that touch. The arm around her waist fit perfectly and was holding her snugly against the strong figure to whom it belonged.
James leaned down further and their noses brushed, sending a wonderful chill up and down her spines to reach the ends of her hair and the tips of her toes. Lily forgot everything and, placing a hand on his chest, leaned into James�s gentle touch.
�And when I was finally close enough, I would simply�� His voice was husky and low, whispering.
Their eyelids fluttered shut as their lips touched....
Little did they know, that just down the hall, another pair�a very unlikely pair�were sharing a much more fond and adamant embrace. One pair of hands was clutching tight to the back of long, black robes, while the other pair of thin fingers were woven into long, brown hair.