Wow. Well. It's six a.m., I can't sleep, and I started browsing through the SBBC threads and found this linked through one of them. I always tell myself "I'll come back and read this later" when I see an intriguing summary and then I... don't. I'm so glad I made myself click the link.

Right off the bat, I cried. Only one other FF has made me cry, and this ranks number one out of the two on the crying scale. The first flashback... I'm not a big suicide in HP fan. I just can't see any of the characters killing themselves, but the way you explained it - the conversation and the hesitance, it... I just saw the world I've loved for so many years come crashing down.

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“He was overwhelmed, I guess. His whole life had led up to the moment where he would kill Voldemort, and he knew it. He’s never seen himself as a hero, you know. When the war ended, and everyone kept looking up to him, and then when Ginny wouldn’t take him back after she’d moved on… he didn’t know who he was anymore."
---

Here, exactly, just so you know, is where I began tearing up. The dialog is just so... I honestly don't know. You've got me lost for words here :p The imagery that came from the quoted passage and the scene in general is still vibrant in my mind. You use such little description of the scenery yet somehow, with their movements and the resistance--I guess you've created such an intense image of the two of them, the rest of the scenery just falls into place without needing to be described. It's so rare that I read FF--especially something AU like this--and believe it could have happened just as if Jo had written it. That's mainly because of plot, but also because of the characterization.

I usually try to be more specific with reviews but honestly, the only thing more I can say is that I officially fangirl you. Being such an avid Harry/Draco fan, it's veryveryveryveryveryvery rare that I can enjoy FF with one of the two with anyone else. You've got me itching for more D/H. :p

And now I'm off to stalk your author page. Maybe after I've slept a little I'll be able to explain all the "OH MY GOD's!" that kept popping up while I was actually reading this (which is why I need to write reviews as I read the story).

/Ari

Author's Response: *dies* Oh my gosh, thank you SO much! Wow, I love getting reviews like this! Though... I do apologise for causing your HP world to crash down. *cough* First of all... I'll admit; I agree that in JKR's world her characters probably would not kill themselves. But sometimes, including suicide in my stories is so very appealing because I want to create the sort of effect that you described - while I was establishing the idea for this fic in my head... it was sort of crucial that Harry was dead, preferably by suicide, which was a sort of catalyst to Hermione's... hysteria, I suppose [to rightfully credit the song].

Yikes, I always cringe when people tell me they're going to visit my author's page. *headpalm* Avoid the older fics, if you would... unless you'd like to run off screaming in the other direction. In that case, be my guest. :D

I'm glad you found the D/Hr satisfactory, especially since you don't read it much. Psst. Check out 'A Kiss To Send Us Off' by Potterphile12. I've already said this like ten times, but that story was seriously a huge inspiration for the way I wrote this pairing. But, I'll admit it, I am intrigued to write more D/Hr in the future! I'll let you know how that goes. Again, thank you for the lovely review! I'm quite glad you enjoyed this story.

First off, I really like how you begin this. The line …the potent smell of eggs and bacon burning his nostrils. is much more subtle and creative way of saying that Ron was nervous. I don't often see (nor do I remember to use) authors using the five senses to portray emotions rather than just stating them, so I really love that you start it off with a big creative bang.

I don't know what it is, but I'm absolutely loving your characterization of Ron. My biggest problem with him is that he's such a complex character than I just go for the easy clichés. He's hungry, he's angry, he's whiny, or he's brooding. Somehow you've captured him and not FF!Ron, and yet you're still playing on the FF!Ron clichés. But they're not clichés. I'm going in circles here, aren't I?

You're using his nerves. He's anxious about the game. His ears go red with embarrassment. All things that are often overdone, and yet you've got them at a level that's not pushing any limits, and it's allowing for his real characterization to come through (and you're getting a fair amount of plot build up too). This…

He didn’t know if it was because of their sheer determination to win, or simply because they just didn’t have feelings.

Is just Ron! Just plain ole' is. And it's freaking hilarious, too, which is just a bonus. I love his narrations about the game. I'm going to have to move on from characterization some time soon.

Yeah, but I can't (I'm writing this as I go). Every narration about the people in his life rings so true of how I've always imagined Ron. This line…

Hermione was the cleverest witch Hogwarts had seen in centuries. She was destined to go far, break boundaries and reinvent the values and rules of magic.

Hermione in a nutshell, and even more so from Ron's point of view. I also loved how you said the relationship was one-sided: Also how Ron would see it. Have I mentioned how much I love how you characterize Ron? Have I? I'll mention it again. I love it.

Little known grammar fact:

Ron examined a hangnail on this thumb. “Well, uh, if you don’t want to, that’s okay… I was just thinking…” He trailed off desperately.

Ellipsis's aren't full stops unless the have four periods, rather than three. So here, the "H" should be lowercase, unless you wanted to bring the ellipsis there to a full stop and add another period. However, the tag is describing how he spoke so it makes more sense to use an unfinished ellipsis.

“See you later, Luna,.”

Luna gazed briefly at their laced fingers and a smile crept onto her face. Suspecting this was hard for Ron to do, she didn’t comment on it.

You slipped PoV here. Since we're hearing Ron's voice and narrations through third person objective, you can't slip into Luna's thoughts.

Luna couldn’t stop her smile from stretching.

Here, too.

Overall, this was a very cute one-shot. I like the idea of Ron not pining after Hermione for the entire time he was at Hogwarts, and that he would he open towards Luna. I'm not much of a shipper outside of H/D (and lately J/L) but you've kind of opened a door here; the romance wasn't overdone (tis not fluff, dear. Too realistic to be fluff. :)) and the way you began this (can I say one more time how much I loved your characterization?) with his doubts really built up to the ending very well.

Very nice story. :) I shall be looking up more from you!

-Ari-

Author's Response: Okay: wow! Your review made my day Ari! Or maybe my life - one of them, anyway. 'Big creative bang.' Tee hee - I've been smiling like crazy since I read that. And you like my characterisation of Ron? I was so worried I didn't get him right; as you said, he's so complex that people write him as if he were a troll that uses his fists instead of conversation. Also, as he's so funny and has this definite sense of humour I wasn't sure could I portray that properly - I'm not naturally funny. And his 'enequality' compared to Hermione must have preyed on his thoughts a lot; Ron had very poor self esteem. Oh, thanks for the grammar tip! And the POV tip - how did I manage to miss that? Teehee - I thought it was fluff. I shall get rid off that tag. Thanks again for your amazinggg review!

Aw, short and sweet and yet insanely enjoyable (and adorable xD). I love the characterization in this, not only from the OC (which I'll get to shortly) but also of Draco and Astoria (the later who is… well, pretty much an OC anyway).

If it says anything to my attention span, I clicked on the link and began reading before even reading the title; I was going to say how much I loved how Abraxes' motive changed after spending a quiet afternoon with his baby brother, but considering that was the point of this, I think it might be a little redundant. >.> Well, redundant or not, I love how you narrate this change of mind in Abraxas: In the beginning we automatically think "Yep, he's a Malfoy alright" due to his attitude and that never-failing Malfoy sneer, but toward the middle and around the end we're shown a lighter side of the character, a side I can definitely seen being inherited from his father, even if we never got to see it (I'm a diehard Harry/Draco/Draco-has-a-bleeding-heart fan XD).

And then toward the end, characterization staying completely consistent (i.e. it didn't feel at all like a light being switched, even though, in the situation, a lesser author could very well have slipped into the inconsistency black hole), Abraxas comes back around to being bitter and put-off by his parents. I loved how consistent and realistic this character is and I do hope you continue with the story so that I can see more of him. ;)

Characterization aside, I love the beginning of the story, where we see the newspaper article on the TriWizard Tournament; very nicely executed plot device to introduce us to the TT. In fact, I can't think of a thing that wasn't executed well here. The plot, the characterization, the reasoning behind this changed motive—it was all written very well and I just adore the prose here.

And you HAVE to continue this, Ange! Jeeze, you can't give us this amazing beginning and then rob us of the rest of the story. I want to know what happens in the TT, I want to see Draco and Astoria realize they've negligence their older son, I want to see more! You've got such a brilliant beginning here and it's only fair that you continue.

Pwease? =D

Ash Matash!

I adore your writing. There were a few awkward sentences here and there but that's all to do with style preference and not with the actual writing.

There's only one thing I see that could possibly be a problem in the future (it hasn't really affected this prologue): The character's thoughts on the war. If the timeline is right in my head (this is directly afterward, right?) then I find it very odd an almost unbelievable that no one would think about it. You did begin with a short passage on how Harry felt but considering the losses, I think that more than just a sentence or two should be given to the war.

You say it's too depressing to start the story off with the after events of the war, but even still, post-war stories have to include the after effects. 99% of the time I say 'pft' to anyone who says "only do this" or never do that, but in this instance, I do think that it's completely necessary. The war brought deaths by the hundreds, not just the lives lost during the Final Battle; Voldemort's rein inflicted not only the families of the lost, but the families of those who went to his aid; most importantly, Harry's life, from the age of one, was lived for the mere purpose to defeat him, and Ron and Hermione were brought into that fate at eleven: These kind of things don’t just die with the end of the war.

I understand that this story is not about the end of the war, but it can't be forgotten either. This might sound overly harsh and I don't mean it to, but I think overlooking these things is very detrimental to a direct-after story, no matter what the plot or point is. For instance, you mention Molly and her over-protectiveness, but nothing to the fact that she lost a son. You mention that Harry regrets never being able to take a trip, but no regrets that have to do with the war. Ron lost a brother—he doesn't seem to be mourning at all. And Ginny—Hermione mentions that she avoids coming out of her room sometimes, but only says that it's because of Harry: She, too, lost a brother.

I don't mean to go on about it, but I just want to make sure I explain myself right. To have the characters acting as if the end of a twenty-year (give or take—I don't know canon as well as others =/) war is like another day, is, well… just off to me.

Now, on to better things. :)

I think your characterization (other than all the previously mentioned babbling) was very spot on. The Ron/Hermione dynamic was very believable and canon-compliant; I do agree with Natasha that you could show some of their arguing so that we get to see the action rather than just see it through Harry's POV.

I also really love how you've handled H/G. Harry (while talking himself out of his emotions) mentions how she's like a sister in HBP and I think that those thoughts coming to fruition is very believable. At the end of HBP when Harry's breaking up with her, I always sort of felt like that was the end, that they're relationship was meant to happen but not continue on into their later years. And it also opens the door to Harry/(Draco!)Hermione. xD

For an hour they sat in the kitchen, just talking. There was no tension in the room when it was the three of them, just talking as friends. It felt like the old times, before the final war when they could relax and just be themselves without the fate of the world resting on their shoulders.

I loved this passage. After the end of the series the most persistent image in my mind has always been how the trio went their separate ways into life, coming together for meals sometimes and at work, as they all worked at the Ministry, but seeing them together during a quiet and cozy evening at the Burrow is very… reminiscent and nice. It painted very beautiful imagery.

I promise you a better review for the first chapter. >.< I know I fixated on the war aspect a lot but only because I feel so strongly about it. Considering the characterization shown here it's amazing that this is your first fanfiction. I eagerly await the next chapter!

Hugs,
-Ari-

Author's Response: Ari, thanks so much. I have considered what you've said abou the war. And during the betaing/rewriting process I'm trying to fix it to a point. Mentions here and there. Ghosts of the past. Things of that nature. Rather Han dwelling on it for any long period of time. And don't worry, the fight between Ron and Hermione is coming. As soon as chapter two, which is currently in the queue, gets validated. Hanks again for reading and reviewing.

Here with the promised review. :)

Maybe it's because I've had a sad song on repeat for the last hour, but I've been sniffling since the moment I began reading. I've read a good handful of stories that take place directly after the war—stories that show the trio as they go back to school, stories that show Hogwarts being rebuilt (and you'll get a mouthful on the brilliance and originality shown here, later ;)) – I've read a lot of post-Hogwarts. This story, so far, even though there aren't any pointedly-make-you-cry passages or narrations, is just heart-wrenching, and very, very original.

I just love you two's take on the prompt; I've only read one other entry so far and while they are both equal in originality I think this story shows a very accurate account of what might have happened after the war. Concentrating on the rebuilding of trust between the Houses is something I have never seen and, as shown by the story, something that shouldn't be overlooked in fanfictions.

(I haven't had this hard'a time writing a review in a long time—there are simply too many things to get to.)

The characterization—all across the board—was fantastic. From McGonagall to Draco, and even Slughorn and the short (and so terribly bitter-sweet) line from Severus, I can't find one instance within this story to point to and say "this is off". I am guilty of laying things on too thick when I attempt a post-war story (and more importantly do I read fictions in which things are laid on thick); a character's eyes glaze over as the memories of the past haunt them… Draco falls to fits of either tears or rage… Hermione is "changed" and not even a smidge of her IC characterization is seen…. Nothing even remotely close to these clichés were present, and even more remarkable was that I didn't feel that the emotions were downplayed either.

If I had to pick one character I loved most it would be Hermione, without a doubt. This line…

“Clap, you fools, they clapped for us.”

literally brought tears to my eyes. I don't know why—it's not a sad line and it's not in a sad or emotional passage. Coupled with the fact that it is just so Hermione, it was just… bah! You two are making my reviewing capability very, very hard. But settling for "This is a fanfreakingtastic story" never really makes an author feel accomplished so, I carry on….

At first, admittedly, I was expecting this to be a happy-go-lucky story about how the troubles of war were overcome and everyone ended up hugging each other crying and singing together like good ole' friends. And while that would'a been a nice story (xD) I just love how the prejudices were incorporated and not overlooked. Pansy's rant in the common room and Seamus' words to Hermione (among other narrations and lines) were very nicely done, and kept the sense of reality prevalent. I suppose a good way to put it would be that there was a fine balance between hope and prejudice; between the past times, the present struggles, and the future that everyone was working toward. The plot and the characterization seem to work seamlessly here.

Before I forget: The way the castle rebuilt itself. O.O (That face says "OhmyGodricGryffindorgivemewhateveryoudrankthedayyouthoughtofthat.) I'm not sure what can be said other than that was absolutely the most enjoyable piece of magic I've ever read in a fanfiction; several authors have written their own ideas about how Hogwarts was rebuilt and several have done that very well, but the castle itself having magic to rebuild itself? Brilliant. Just absolutely brilliant.

Overall, I'm still just awed by this story (as you might be able to tell by this ramble that puts shame to the word 'review'). I'm also kind of annoyed because I cried while my family was watching. :p

This, without a doubt, deserved it's first place.

-Ari-

Author's Response: WOW! Well, Thank you for this review! It is very detailed and thought out and having done a bunch of reviews the past few days I am freshly reminded of how much easier that is when the story has obvious flaws and things one doesn't like. For a North American I have a reasonably thorough understanding of European medieval architecture, and I have figured for a while that the castle MUST be able to rebuild itself. Salazar Slytherin did not hide the chamber of secrets under a nineteenth century bathroom "A thousand years or more ago." While I am willing to grant that wizards may have kept a better handle on Roman engineering and had some sort of running water and sewage systems - vitrified porcelain? Taps that turned? I am just not buying it. Being well acquainted with plumbing that is only 50 years old, I am dead certain the taps, if by some miracle they existed, did not go a thousand years without repair of some kind. Yet, there is a tap marked with a snake and a functioning entrance to the Chamber's outer halls. This has got to mean that the castle has been repaired or updated, but not changed so much that the entrance was lost. Would wizards who didn't even know the chamber was there have been able to do this? Even if knowledge of the chamber were passed down in Slytherin - which it does not seem happened - would it go one thousand years unbroken, and every time the bathroom needed repair, provide a properly trained Slytherin wizard to do it? I don't see it. Also, any castle that lasted through certain parts of the Middle Ages would have had a chapel. We don't see one. A one thousand year old castle would not have had the types of towers this one has, or be entirely integrated - they started out as towers inside of walls. Etc. So I have thought for a while that the only way the castle could deal with its evolving roll in Wizard society would be if it were able to change on its own to meet the needs of the Wizards within. The Room of Requirement does this, in a way. So, there had to be a way to make it happen. Thanks for thinking this is cool! Hogwarts is a pile of magic that gets bigger with every year, and if Dumbledore did not know all its secrets, none of us can - so lots of things are possible, in my mind! I did try to stay very much in character. These people were traumatized, true, but the ones we see this term are the ones who were able to make themselves come back. It is quite possible there are witches and wizards all over Britain whose eyes really are glazing over, and who really are going from vacancy to hysteria - but they are not back. I can't imagine Hagrid being anywhere else - you notice Slughorn has to talk to himself about it, but all Hagrid is doing is worrying he's to be sent away. When people are bumped or disturbed in a life of privilege, they will either rise to the occasion or become bitter, it seems to me. Pansy never struck me as being much of a human being - forgive me, Miss Parkinson, but if you have hidden depths they are just not seen in canon - so I had no trouble making her rant. Draco is, I think, more of a survivor. He is able to take a practical view. And the Aaswells are not terribly political people. The brother has strong ambitions, but they are ones anyone would admire, and he is close to his sister. I am betting at least one parent was Hufflepuff. Thank you so much for taking the time to be so detailed in your review, and I am so happy that you liked it! PP

Before I even read further I have to say how very freaking Draco the first passage is. 'Freaking' because I can't say the other word, but the other word would hold the weight of just how very freaking Draco it is.

"I'm sorry," he said simply.

I… don't even know how to explain why that hit the amazing radar. I'll try from the beginning….

The imagery from this passage was just amazing. Using past tense the way you did, it allowed for his current and past emotions to be shown, and seeing how conflicting they were—the emotions themselves and how they compared, present to past—just… inspired images. Fear, pain, more fear, hope—it was like the emotions painted the scene, so I was seeing through a haze of (freaking amazing writing) . . . emotions. That's the only way I can explain it. :/

But back to Draco. It starts off with the six years of Azkaban and slides smoothly and flawlessly to the bathroom scene with Ginny, and from point a to b, two very different sides of him, it's just so… in character. It's Draco. And maybe that's why the 'simply' line caught me; an apology from him is something that probably happens once in, I dunno, fifty or sixty years, and his saying it 'simply', it just made the scene blow up in my mind. Like he was even surprised that he would apologize.

I've never been so taken with the first five/six hundred words of a story. :]

But oh, before I forget, the obliviating. Dare I say it again? I dare. AHHHH it's just something he would do. *smiles and nuzzles into her Draco* You have seriously done his character justice in such a small space.

If she was with me, she wouldn’t be living in such a pathetic little place, Draco thought. With a sharp jolt he was reminded that Ginny wasn’t with him, she was with pretty-boy Potter.

I'm going to try and pry myself away from the happiness that Draco's character isn't just another carbon copy, but this line/s made me smile. It shows so perfectly what a true control freak (even in a mild sense) Draco is. And the fact that you've completely avoided any of the old rivalry between him and Harry and simply listed him as pretty-boy is just wonderful. It shows that he doesn't and never did like him, but you didn't stray from the Ginny/Draco point by downing us in Draco/Harry rivalry. Very nice. :]

I have to say the ending was kind of abrupt. It feels like unfinished business and, well, don't stab me with pointy things but I just don't think Draco would give up that easily. I was completely captured by the mood and feel of the ending, but Draco is a fighter in my mind. If he wants something, he'll do whatever he has to to get it.

On the other hand, six years in prison changes a person, so maybe it's a moot point.

What struck me most about this story was the imagery. Some stories, no matter how well written, interesting, or hear-wrenching they are, simply tell you a story. While that's acceptable—I read to hear a story—being able to see things so clearly, it's . . . I dunno, nice? lol. As I first said, it was like watching things through a haze of emotions, and from what was happening to how dear Draco was feeling, I was definitely not disappointed.

I feel like thanking you for doing Draco such justice. xD

*squeesh*
-Ari-

Author's Response: Ari, that is the most amazing reveiw ever. I didn't even think this fic was that good >.< but as long as you like it, I am over the moon! I am glad you like Draco so much! I know what word you meant, you told me on AIM lol Draco is one of the few characters I feel like I can characterise half decently, so I am incredibly happy that he works for someone else too :-D I am glad I didn't dissapoint you! What else can I say? just thankyou so much Ari! *squishes* Russia xxxxx

O_O

Right. Well. . . O_O

We’ll get to explanations on the extremely shocked eyes in a mo’. . ..

I’m basically in love with this. The idea, the characterization, the characterization . . . the characterization. The characterization. Have I mentioned the characterization? Fan-squiggley-tastic. But before I blabber on, I have to say that the dialog was deterring. Not that I’d trade a single laugh at nearly every line, but the amount of it, so sparsely broken up by description, was really off-putting to the extent that it interrupted the enjoyability (not a word!). Describing body language, movement, what’s happening around them – all of it can add to a scene just as much as quick-witted bantering, and more. If just a few passages were broken up with better-detailed scenes, it would, IMO, certainly add to the overall quality.

And O_O My Godric! I never thought I’d ever find a Draco whose trademarked wittiness was something I’d actually expect to hear from Draco. It’s brilliant! The both of them – I was doubled over with laughs through nearly every line! The premise of the story – that’s worth a laugh too! (Not Ginny and Draco, but Draco having to go to Harry. Just . . . xD) My Godric, poor Draco. And Harry’s reaction was just spot-on perfect.

Gahh. This was so wonderful. =D I do hope you get more stories up. Particularly stories with Draco, and Harry. Please and thank you. =D =D

Author's Response: Awww thanks so much for your wonderful review! It made me smile :) And I totally see what you mean about the dialogue - actually, this was supposed to be an entry for the Gift of Gab challenge before I decided to not make it one, haha. Anyway, I'm SO glad you liked the characterization; I tried to make it as close to the vision of Draco and Harry in my head as possible. Plus I'm glad you found it funny! Thanks so much for reviewing again :) *hug* Apurva.

Oh, how the Ari loves the complexities and angst-ities of slash. XD Wood/Diggory is by far the most rarepair I’ve ever read and though I was very . . . doubtful, at first, you have so been put in the book of eternal slashy awesomeness. Also, before I begin anything at all serious, I couldn’t stop seeing that vampire boy’s face the entire time and it’s going to be a while before I can read HP or FF without seeing Diggory sparkle. >.< Fail. Twilight boy, you just fail.

Good thing your Diggory beats the crap outta sparkly vampires. xD

Okay, that out of the way, I truly did enjoy this story. I think you’ve really captured a minor (to majorish) character and given him a story and a personality that is completely your own and yet flows together with the canon Oliver we see seamlessly.

One thing I have a problem with is his father, and while it doesn’t disrupt the story at all, I just can’t help but to point out that a sport player’s father being an old champ and unfairly pushing his son is . . . cliché. I think you could have stressed that it was also what Oliver wanted a little more. As it is, what he wanted and what he didn’t want is sort of left hanging in the air, and considering how sports-centered Oliver is, to leave his feelings behind his father’s incessant pushing so undisturbed makes that aspect of the story feel incomplete. I understand that your inclusion of Oliver’s father was more to stress the point of his fear of sexuality, but I still felt that that aspect, specifically, could have been elaborated on more, for the purpose of steering from the cliché and also to give the reader a better sense of Oliver’s drive behind Quidditch.

I just love how this story felt well rounded. There wasn’t just one conflict; Cedric/Oliver wasn’t the only interesting storyline; Oliver’s father wasn’t the only antagonist. I do love a good angsty slash!fic where the pair are the central focus of the story, but after reading this, I don’t think I’ll be able to enjoy those quite as much anymore. I thought, at first, that Katie was just going to be a device used to show Oliver’s struggles, but you went above and beyond expectations by actually giving them a story, something that sticks in the mind, making their parting even the more touching and important. At the same time but on a different spectrum, I love how we don’t only see one side of Oliver, either. His emotions and characterization don’t come off artificial or flat, but very lively, believable, and emotional.

One thing that didn’t meet initial expectations was Cedric and Oliver. By initial I mean that, well, the romance/slash/what have you lover in me wanted lots of drama (or melodrama ;) ) and screaming and shouting and angst! angst! angst!. Honestly, and I’m contradicting myself just a wee bit, I don’t know if I’m disappointed or relieved that their relationship came off realistic rather than . . . run-of-the-mill angst!ff. Their exchanges, Oliver’s narrations, and the end . . . well, I can really see that happening. Don’t ask why that disappoints me. >.>

Speaking of the end, well, just wonderful. They didn’t run off into the sunset and they didn’t part, weaping and screaming. They made a rational decision, and you left just enough of a cliff there that I’m happily sitting on the edge, wondering if Cedric will ever turn up in that shower. Very, very nice.

Well, what else can I say other than I absolutely adored this story, even if the characters and emotions weren’t running wild in complete confusion. xD

*squiggles*

Ari

Author's Response: Hey, Ari, Thanks for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed it - it's my first slash fic so I was quite anxious to get it right. I take your point about his dad, although he wasn't a former champ - he was pretty useless unlike his son. I think I should have probably stressed that more as well as the fact that Oliver did want to be a pro - it wasn't just because his dad wanted it.

Ahh, the ending. I must confess, I left it open because I didn't want to break the pair up and we all know what's going to happen to Cedric. I'm strongly thinking about a follow up ... so you may just see Oliver in the shower. (Oh and I saw a bloke on the train last night who was exactly how I picture my Cedric - not at all sparkly and with the most amazing green eyes *sighs at bloke from train* I have yet to find my Oliver!)

Thanks again. ~Carole~

Yikes, you and your suspense! I’ve been trying to do these reviews quickly, for the night is no longer young, but damned if I was able to stick to my one-chapter-only rule. I blew through the prologue and first chapter and had to stop myself, because I was skipping lines in eagerness to figure out what the blast was going on. Very, very well done. Very. Very.
Right.
I do have a nit to pick, though. The description in this chapter feels rather heavy. I think it did aid the suspense, but a little goes a long way; by blocking information with description you make the reader all the more anxious, but it can also have an adverse affect, because we won’t hang on the edge forever. The description itself was wonderful, every sentence of it. But I think it would have been wise to forgo a bit of imagery for information.
As for the story itself, I’m hooked. The summary sparked my interest immediately, and the set up is wonderful. I will definitely return. =D

My Kara-Bolara! What a sad story. :( I do have a few things to pick at, if you will forgive me…
My first thought when I started reading was that there was a lot of telling, instead of showing. The first few paragraphs come off rather technical, which makes the emotion struggle with coming through. Especially this…
her whole mind was focussed on this one thought – where was Remus?
I think it would have been better if you hadn’t put it out there so frankly, but woven it in. Show us how Tonks is searching through the bodies; ruling out where she knows he isn’t, and let the reader learn of her objection through that, rather than telling us.
I’ve read many of your stories, and I know showing/telling isn’t a weak point for you. Rather, you’re quite strong in it. I would have loved to see more of it in this piece.
I do love how, in the end, Tonks isn’t paying a darn bit of attention to her murderer. Bella’s taunting is nothing but background noise, and you show how Tonks’ thoughts aren’t for her death, but for her family very well. Her strength in dying really embodies the message of the Battle of Hogwarts; death being inevitable, glorious even. Showing the pride and dignity in those who fought, while simultaneously telling the personal story, always hits very hard.
Overall, a very touching piece, but I wouldn’t expect less from you. =D –squiggles-

Author's Response: Ooh I had almost forgotten about this story... I see what you mean though - it's (again - that seems to be becoming a problem here!) as though I need a while to get into the... writing thing. I should probably rework this. I wrote it rather spur-of-the-moment-ly, and that probably shows in the description.

BUT! Thank youuu - I'm so glad that you thought I did well with Tonks towards the end. I'm very anxious about characterisation lately, so I'm glad I apparently did something right here :D

Thank you for the ariview, I always love them ^-^