Hi, I like the way you started your story! What's an Oroborus light?
Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review. Of course, I can\'t tell you what the Oroborus Light will be, because it\'s a big part of my story!
But, I will say, if you want any hints, your best bet would be to google \"ouroboros\" (it has different spellings, and I liked how Oroborus looked). Look at the definition of it, or, just as easy, find a picture of it. It has some things that relate to Voldemort, and Harry. Hope that gets you wondering!
Nice One-Shot! I think it's appropriate to emphasize that the H/G and R/Hr dream of one big happy Weasley family is Ron's fantasy and not Hermione's. Different people have different ideas about the perfect family, but most people end up putting together a family similar to the one they grew up in. When Harry saw his family in the Mirror of Erised, he saw a man, a woman and one child. He didn't see a three ring circus of a half dozen siblings, uncles, aunt and cousins. What does Hermione regard as a perfect family? She grew up an only child.
Excellent story, very sad, dealing with grief is one of the hardest parts of life. Your description of Hermione's devotion to Harry is right on target as is your portrayal of Ron as being jealous and self-centered. But I don't think Harry would commit suicide. His parents, Dumbledore and in your fic Hermione, all gave their lives so he could live. Suicide would dishonor their sacrifices and a failure to embrace life, in all of its pain and glory, would be as wrong as Voldemort's failure to make peace with death. Still, as a one-shot story depicting the depths of human despair, you've done an excellent job.
Author's Response: I guess the whole suicide thing was depicting Harry\'s devotion for Hermione, since it indicates that he believes they will be together in the afterlife, of sorts. Apologies if that offended you, but that was just how I envisioned the story to occur. As for people giving their lives, Harry believes it was so that he could complete his task, and afterwards he feels obsolete. Of course, we all know he is mistaken. Also, he didn\'t decide to end his life because he bottled up his grief, but Ginny caused him to confront it and thus pushed him over the edge (figuratively, of course). On a lighter note, much thanks for reviewing!
This is a good story, I think you have a very reasonable plot. Clearly Ron and Hermione care about each other, they just don't get along. Can you imagine their dinner conversations? She: Did you see the Daily Prophet today? It's outrageous how they treated that poor House Elf! He: I wish we could afford a house elf. She: Would you do the dishes tonight? He: I'm not good at house-keeping spells. He: Hey babe, I won tickets to the Chudley Cannons Quidditch Match! She: I have to prepare my presentation for the upcoming meeting of the Magic Educators Association. Keep Up The Story! You're a good writer and your use of dialog is very good.
I tend to agree with harrysgal that this isn't really a Harry/Hermione romance. The following points are out of character: 1) Harry Potter slipping into alcoholism, 2) Hermione the prostitute, 3) Hermione has a good time with Ron and ignores Harry while he slips into alcoholism, and 4) Hermione has always loved Ron. Where do R/Hr shippers get that idea? Did Hermione fall in love with Ron when he turned his rat yellow? But there is one positive point to your story. It shows that a R/Hr pairing is of no benefit to Harry.
Author's Response: I\'ll respond to your points in the order they were discussed: 1) Harry is not slipping into alcoholism, as i stated in the story. It was just one night of choosing the wrong way to deal with his problems. 2) A prostitute is someone that trades sexual favors for money. Hermione is not a prostitute and at the same time she is not a whore either. She cares deeply for Harry and not just about having meaningless sex with him. 3) Once again, Harry is not slipping into alcoholism. It may seem like Hermione is having a grand ol\' time, but you have to realize that the story is from Harry\'s point of view. What he believes is what the audience is shown. 4) In the story i never mentioned that Hermione has always been in love with Ron. This is what i did say: \" I realized that I love him more than I could ever hope to understand.\" I know that Hermione has not been in love with Ron since they first met. This does not mean that her feelings have any less of an impact on her life.
I do thank you for your criticisms and comments. There will be a sequel to this story in the near future.
I've added this one to my favorites. The first three chapters look very good. Burning the Dursley house was a nice touch. It'd probably be better for them to move away and go into hiding now that they are no longer protected by the Dumbledore's spell. Your approach to the Horcrux hunt is interesting. Dumbledore seemed to be obsessed with security over the issue. I see no evidence in HBP that anyone besides the "Golden Three" (and Slughorn) know about the Horcruxes. Having an army looking for them might be helpful. But on the other hand, it might tip off Voldemort that his Horcruxes were in danger.
Author's Response: Thanks! I hadn\'t thought about the Dursleys actually benefitting from the house-wrecking, but you\'ve got a point--it would be a BAD idea for them to just go about business as usual in that house now that it\'s unprotected. Heh, all things lead to the glory of Illuvatar, as the Eldar say... :)
I think Dumbledore must have told at least SOME of the Order about the Horcrux business--surely someone would have insisted on knowing how his hand became a Crispy Critter. And I don\'t think Lupin has the option to keep secrets like Dumbledore did. He\'s not as powerful a wizard, ergo he can\'t afford the luxury of keeping all the plans tightly under his own hat. He\'s got to rely on others to help him figure stuff out. But good point, I\'ll have to look at that when I go through Book 6 (we\'re up to the first day of classes as of tonight\'s bedtime reading) and see how far that subplot spread.
I\'ve written/started 22 chapters on this story so far and the issue of tipping off Voldemort about his Horcruces being encroached upon does come up later. About 8 months later, actually, when they find the next one--in the posession of a certain young blond from Slytherin house...
I\'m glad you guys are enjoying it!
Good Chapter! I'm looking forward to reading chapter 6! I like stories that bring up mysteries. What happened to Voldemort's body when the killing curse rebounded from Harry and hit him? I'd never thought about that. Someone took it away in a MoM car. That's an interesting idea. When Harry and his friends saw the brains in the DoM, Hermione asked "What are they doing with them?" but the question on my mind is "Who are they?"
Author's Response: there is a LOT of canon to be explained in Book 7. Where did the body go, where did Baby Harry go between midnight on Halloween when Hagrid picked him up and midnight on Nov 1 when he was delivered to the Dursley\'s doorstep? I\'ve got some ideas about that, and frankly Mr. Hagrid has a bit of explaining to do... :)
Cute poem! I love it. The line about Azkaban pretty much gave it away as Bellatrix, too bad she's married. I've wondered about Tom Riddle, did he have any favorite girls? McGonagall was just a year or two ahead of him. Was there some special reason why Myrtle was murdered? Here's a possible plot for a short story: Tom Riddle asks Myrtle out and gets turned down.
Author's Response: Ha! I like your short story idea. You should write it. Thanks for the review.
Excellent Job, Croyez! You are one of my favorite authors on this site.
This is a very good story. The H/Hr ship offers all sorts of interesting literary possibilities because they can be such a dynamic couple together. I like how you made Dean Thomas a painter. It must take a very talented wizard as well as a great artist to create a painting that captures a human personality. I like how you made Hermione a career oriented unspeakable. It would be such a waste of her talent and intelligence to become a Weasley-baby factory. Too bad it's been so rough on her. She needs a heroic partner that she can respect (i.e. Harry). I agree that Harry would not stick with the idea of being an Auror, he's much too independent. The Cardinal is a great villain. This palace-coup sort of plot within the ministry of magic is great. I can't wait to see how this one turns out.
Author's Response: Welcome to TCC and thank your for your kind review. I am glad that you like how I\'ve laid out the characters Post-Hogwarts, the Villain and the plot within the Ministry. I hope you enjoy the rest of it.
It was so unlike her to do something so moronic as to wipe off a memory. But was it? Wow! I love that line! It could be straight from the Quibbler! Great chapter!
Author's Response: LOL! Quibbler huh? Thanks, I think.. :)
Very nice story, please keep writing. Do you think Harry and Hermione would make a good couple? I ask this because I'd like to see your reply.
Author's Response: Well, of course I think they make a good couple! That\'s why I wrote this story. I\'m so glad you like it.
To all my reviewers -- thank you so much for your kind words. I have another story in the works right now, so keep your eyes open!
Excellent story so far, I encourage you to keep writing. The first chapter is an interesting set-up: a wizard murder next door to the Dursleys. The second chapter is better! I can easily see Harry being bored and unsuited to a job in the Ministry of Magic and yet that being a good starting point for an amateur detective story. Career-driven Healer Hermione is definitely following the character development seen in books 1-6, as is the realization that R/Hr would never work. I applaud your courage in bucking the MNFF trend of making Hermione out to be a carefree teenager who happened to be a witch and who also wanted nothing more than to be a baby-producing machine for Ron. Many fans fail to understand Hermione because she is an exceptionally intelligent character and exceptionally intelligent people are a minority. I like the way you portray Ron, he's fun and not at all sensitive to how Harry, Hermione or anybody else is feeling. His job in Muggle-sports relations could be very important and make his dad proud. We've seen Muggles changing pounds for galleons in Gringott's bank. It seems so natural for a wizard to come up with the idea of changing a few galleons to pounds, flying off to Vegas, using magic to win at craps and the roulette wheel, and then changing the Muggle money back into galleons. This Muggle sport would have to be illegal to keep from upsetting the whole wizard world economy.
Author's Response: Thanks so much for the in-depth feedback! This is precisely the type of analysis I was hoping for from my readers...bookmark my story, I\'d love to hear more of what you have to say in coming chapters :).
Well written, keep up the good work! This is a very sad story, based on a very sad song. For Harry to loose Hermione, either by death or a horribly mistaken marriage, would be the worst tragedy of his short and hard life. It's interesting that you had Harry talk to the other couple. Harry Potter passing on lessons like: "care for each other" and "never miss a chance to say I Love You", that's beautiful.