Well done! I like your prose a lot better than your poetry, but the poetry was not bad. The second one -- from Barty Sr. to his son -- is the best one. The first one does a good job of showing the demented inside of the boy's head, but the second is better poetry and better emotionally.

"A woman by the shadows listened tears welled —up her eyes." You need another word somewhere. I suggest an "as" between "listened...tears." Also, you don't need a dash in "welled up", just a space.

The ending is the best part. It's so very sweet and sad -- though Barty Jr. is the focus, Mrs. Crouch is the heroine.

Author's Response: Thanks. I shall go correct that. :)

The tragedy of Mrs Crouch - she saved a son not worth saving ... then again she\'s a mum ...

Very interesting. I agree with the earlier reviewers that Remus, and Harry, were nuts to agree to all this, but I'm sure that will come out later. I love the parts with Ginny and James. They're nice and light to balance the darkness of the memories. James is very well written and Ginny's grief is excellent. I like your description of the new Harry; it does sound like someone who's been gone for a long while.

The pace of all this is a little confusing, it moves so fast, but I like the way you intersperse the flashbacks with life as it is now. An interesting idea, and I'll be back to read the rest!

Author's Response: Thank you for the compliments, seriously! And I agree that the pace is sort of fast, mostly in this last chapter. It was wicked hard to right and it's probably my least favorite one, however, I'm trying to sort it out and make this next one make up for it. :)

First off, I really like your premise. You did very well describing Arianna’s loneliness.

I have to say that your description of her physical change is a bit little Mary-Sueish. Her personality isn't, but the fact that she basically became gorgeous over the summer is somewhat suspect.

You did misspell "shivered," and "All right" is two words, not one "alright," but other than that the grammar/spelling's good. There's one thing that I think is a wrong word:

I doubted that I could make it by Friday.

I’m guessing that’s supposed to be "I doubted I could make it to Friday.” If not, you may need to reword it, because it doesn’t quite make sense.

The other thing is, why is Arianna so invisible? She’s really good-looking, so at the very least, some guys should have noticed her. I don’t understand why she’s completely alone. Maybe you could say something about her being so quiet that only guys who want the wrong thing bother talking to her. That I’d understand.

Very interesting start, keep going!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm always happy to get reviews, especially since this is my first fanfiction ever. Oooh, good eye, I didn't catch the "I doubted that I could make it by Friday" part before. It's kinda hard to catch mistakes when you're writing. Why is Arianna so invisible? In my school, the people that participate a lot in class always get attention. There are girls that are pretty, but by not calling attention to themselves, they might as well be a shadow. Remember Arianna doesn't like to hang out with the other girls? That's because she's different. She doesn't wear makeup, she doesn't gossip, and she doesn't throw herself at boys. It's easier to notice groups of friends than one person. You'll find out the point of view of the school in later chapters. About the spelling and grammer...well, spelling was never my strongest point, but it isn't my weakest point either. I hope that I'll get better at it, though.

I almost cried when Sirius thought of the Potter and Lupin homes, and when he thinks about the relationship between himself and Regulus. That is a big deal for me. Your stories are darker than I usually read, but so very good. I love them all!

Author's Response: Thank you!

I've often been informed that my stories are a little too dark for comfort. I suppose it has something to do with my grim determination not to see the good side of things. :D

I like what you’ve got so far. I haven’t seen Hermione and Draco both teaching before, so I commend you on that. For the most part, they seem to be in character. Your grammar is fairly good as well, which I like a lot . There are a few inconsistencies, though, like in this section:

“Uh, yeah, actually, I’m in it,” Draco said uncertainly. He figured Hermione would already have known this.

“WHAT? You’re joking right? Why is it that no one tells me anything anymore?” she exclaimed furiously.

“It sounds like there’s a lot that your friends forgot to tell you,” Draco said calmly.

Why haven’t Harry or Ginny told her? For that matter, why has no one explained Draco’s motivations to Hermione since the war’s end? Fred says that they were busy at the time, but the war can’t have only just ended. It’s not very like Hermione to ignore all her friends and the Hogwarts faculty, who she greatly admires. I’d’ve thought she would have given him a chance to explain himself. Of her, Harry, and Ron, I would have thought Hermione the most likely to let Draco talk freely. Also, they don’t sound very British. I’m not British, so I can’t say exactly what British sounds like, but they sound more like American teens squabbling than the canon characters, to my mind.

That said, I thought your breakup between Ron and Hermione was excellent. They are so odd that it’s no great stretch of the imagination to see them realize they can’t be together. Also, Ron’s reaction – a sort of touchy surliness – is very convincing.

Oh, and I thought this was great. It’s funny in a quiet, understated sort of way, humor that doesn’t get in the way of the story:

The walls of the class were covered in stolen stop signs, railroad signs, and Hermione’s personal favorite, a sign from a road near a high security prison that read “Please do not pick up hitchhikers.” She decided to leave the decorations on the wall until she found something more educational.

Good job so far. I’ll be back to read the rest!

P.S. I love the title.

It's very good. You're right there, with the Remus-wolf. The only thing I might change is that you use so many big words. It's not that I don't understand them, but it sounds a bit like you're trying to make it really impressive by using words with as many letters as possible. It gets a bit confusing at points.

Author's Response: Ha, perhaps you're right. But I simply couldn't resist. I'll try not to overuse them the next chapter, alright?

First, this is a fascinating take on the Secret Gift Challenge. I’m sure almost all of the entries were mushy. This is very cool.

There’s one fairly consistent problem that is fortunately also easy to fix.
On this dark island, even the white blanket of snow failed to cover the darkness that lies within. Warmth and joy cannot pass through these walls; the creatures that guard this place would not allow this. There’s some trouble with tenses here. “On this” is present tense, while “failed” is past tense. Also, “cannot pass” is present tense, but “would not allow” is past. You could fix this pretty easily by just switching to one or the other.

Yet, the gloom of this prison will not allow a festive atmosphere; the Dementors ensure this. Again, this sentence is in present tense, and you probably want this to all be past tense. There’s one other place, the first paragraph of the epilogue.

It was a time for joy, a time for families to get together. It was the coldest time of the year, yet warmth permeated everywhere - except for one place. This makes sense, but it doesn’t flow quite right. Perhaps if it was rephrased to: “…a time for families to get together. Warmth produced by this love [or some similar phrase] permeated everywhere – except for one place.”

Hm. The third paragraph comes across clearly enough, but again, the flow is just the least bit off.
Within the shadowy corridors of Azkaban three figures walked. I think this should either be reversed (“three figures walked within the shadowy corridors”) or simply add a comma (“…corridors of Azkaban, three figures walked.”)

The young man up front was an Auror, tasked to escort the couple behind him. It works, but up front always sounds to me something like a desk in front of a lobby or something. “In front” or “in the lead” would work as well.

He hoped that this would be a quick visit, for he could not stand this place. He once again wondered if the overtime pay and possible promotion was worth this. It sounds a little formal to me for a young Auror. How about: “He hoped that this would be a quick visit – he couldn’t stand the place. He wondered again if the overtime pay and a possible promotion were worth this.” I’m pretty sure you need a “were” instead of “was” for that, but I’m not positive.

Oh, and after all that criticism, paragraph 4 is perfect. I love it.

Yet her resolved had never wavered then, it would not waver now. It should be just “resolve.” Also, the punctuation is a bit odd. I think it should be either “…never wavered then, and it would…” or “…never wavered then. It would not waver now.” The second is more definite than the first.

Yet, the gloom of this prison will not allow a festive atmosphere; the Dementors ensure this. Again, this sentence is in present tense, and you probably want this to all be past tense.

“Barty? It’s me,” she whispered, while her gentle hands cupped his paled, haggard, and unshavened face, “Everything will be alright; I will make it alright, as I always have.” If you just say “pale,” it will have the same effect. Also, “all right” is two words.

I like the way that Barty Jr. looks at his dad, not his mum. It shows that single-minded madness that he displays in the book.

“Bartemius,” her voice strong despite her frail countenance. “I know what I’m doing.” This is a bit confused-sounding. You should either use a two commas: “Bartemius,” her voice strong despite her frail countenance, “I know what I’m doing.”; or use two periods: ‘ “Bartemius.” Her voice was strong despite her frail countenance. “I know what I’m doing.” ’ (One more thing, “countenance” refers generally to the face or expression of the face. Which is fine, if that’s what you meant; if not, you could mention her frail “frame” or “figure.”)

All in all, excellent. I know I nitpicked, but there were no serious plot/character flaws. Very nice work.

Author's Response: Wow. That's a really long review. Thanks for pointing out all my errors *lol* I do find to tough to beta my own works ^_^ .... surprised it got validated at all given the errors *lol* I guess Christmas makes mods more charitable on those errors ^_^.

Thanks again for the review. I'll be off to correct this story. ^_^

Awww. I love a good piece of fluff! I really like the banter you had going -- they weren't just awkward or silly, they were real friends. Very adorable!

I should have seen that coming, this being a Ginny/Draco story. Ah well. I really like what you're doing with this. Her being in America is convincing, and her attitude about the whole thing is perfect. I liked how in Ch. 1, Draco got out of killing her -- it was a great excuse. Snape is very well done; he's a lot smarter than we give him credit for! I will be coming back to read the rest of this!

Author's Response: Thank you! I\'ve tried to make it believable, I\'m glad you think I am succeeding. I just couldn\'t make poor Draco believe he had actually killed his true love; it would have been too cruel. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story!

Great chapter. I don’t often read Professors fics, but yours is so good I couldn’t resist!

Nice job bringing Lucius in. I hadn’t expected to see him at all. It’s also good to see more from Draco’s perspective.

“Has it occurred to you, Father, that their may be another woman called Hermione Granger in the world?”
This should be “there”.

Oooh. Honestly, I half expected Draco to be hiding behind a staircase or something in the lobby (though maybe you’ll reveal that in the next chapter!). But good characterization of both Lucius and of a good Draco. I’m eagerly awaiting the next update!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I\'ve tried to keep them in character, as much as you can with GoodGuy!Draco. I appreciate you pointing out the typo, I\'ll have to go in and fix it.