This was a nice one-shot! Fred and George are two of my favourite characters and I’m very sensitive to Fred’s death and the aftermath of George, so this was a very emotional fic for me, to say the least.

I think it’s very hard for anyone who isn’t a twin to portray the type of feelings George would be feeling; twins share a very personal connection and Fred and George definitely shared the same mind! But you did a good job with describing how George would react to his brother’s death, with the not eating and sitting in his room. I’m sure he would go through a lot of shock and not know what to do with himself for a long while.

The use of flashbacks was very fitting in this story and added more sentimental moments to make his death more emotional (as if I needed that though! :p) Your first flashback when Fred “ had exuded courage and a resolute strength, spreading throughout the room like a collective power. It had been the moment they had been waiting for” oh my, it gave me chills! You’ve portrayed Fred’s leadership qualities really well here as well as in the flashback of him stealing Charlie’s wand. With this one I really liked how you had George reluctant, but then follow him with the same spirit. To me this one flashback sort of sums up their whole life, Fred always being the leader and the one who overshadows George, and George being sort of the “follower” who is one step behind his brother. Your characterization of the twins was amazing and seeing as this was for a character challenge, I really think you have a good shot at winning!

“The first few days, she had mollified herself over George more than ever, forcing him to eat, forcing him to come out of his room and be with the family.” I’m a little on the edge about how Molly treated him after the battle. I’m not so sure she would bug him so much about being with the family and out of his room. Everyone had to deal with a lot of loss and I think Molly would understand how hard George had it, being the closest person to Fred, not only emotionally but biologically too. I do see her forcing him to eat, but also knowing the fact that he probably wouldn’t eat. This is so short mentioned in the story, though, so it doesn’t affect anything, I just wanted to throw it in there!

The part with Angelina sets up for their future relationship, but I would have liked to see more on George’s feelings and how he dealt with it alone.

I like how you described George getting better and coming back to reality: “George looked up at the sun, squinting. It shone brightly, warm on the freckles of his face. A slight breeze rustled in the grass, ruffled his hair and gave him goose pimples. He took a deep, calm breath.

He could feel again.”

After being in his room for such a long period of time, this passage tells a lot of truth about what going outside can do for you! Haha. Throughout the whole time he was outside you paid close attention to the senses, how his feet felt on the grass and how the carrot tasted in his mouth. It was a great way to show how he was becoming more human and alive for the first time after the battle. Again, great characterization and also a good use of the senses to make me want to cry! :) His getting over of the loss was just as emotional as the actual reaction to his death, for me.

It was a great story! Keep writing :)

-Sarah

Author's Response: Aww, thanks Sarah! I'm very happy with how this turned out, indeed. My beta was a great help for me while characterising George and specifically the differences between him and Fred. I know that I was devastated when Jo killed Fred, and then just left it hanging for us - honestly, George's life must've been the one affected most dramatically by the war. I was all teary all the way through writing this. It feels wrong to say that I'm glad it made you sad too, but yeah, you know what I mean :) Thank you for your very kind words and thanks for taking the time to R&R! It means a lot to me :)

Hey!

I loved this story! I never gave much thought to what actually happened in the chamber, but you got me thinking about it, and I love what you did with it! I particularly loved your interactions between Ron and Hermione; they were very in character and seemed like something JK would write herself.

You’re characterization of everyone, actually, was really spot on. I liked how you made Neville the one to stand up and take charge, as he really did shine in the final battle. He’s grown as a person and become a lot more courageous, which you’ve shown perfectly in the short amount of lines you wrote with him. The one thing I didn’t think was very accurate was how you had Ron instantly think about the basilisk. I love Ron, but to be honest he’s not the quickest of the bunch. I don’t think he’d come to that solution so fast, especially since Hermione didn’t even think about it. Unless he had been thinking about it for quite some time, which you don’t mention he does, I wouldn’t think Ron would come up with the answer so quickly.

““I know, I know,” he said. For a moment, they just looked at each other, sitting next to one another. They were only a few inches apart, but Ron could barely stand the fact that he wasn’t wrapped around her. Finally, Hermione stood up. Wiping her eyes quickly and tucking her hair behind her ears, she glanced around for a moment, looked down at Ron and asked, “How long has it been since we’ve been down here?””

I just loved this part! It’s sweet and awkward, and exactly Ron and Hermione! I also love when she has to put her arms around him on the broomstick. The two of them together are so worried about what the other thinks of them, everything becomes awkward when they need to get close. You pulled off their relationship really well.

You wrote the two together very believably without making it too cliché or fluffy. It was a great read! Keep up the good work!

-Sarah