Errr...that came out wrong. I can't wait to see how it ends, not I can't wait for it to end. :)

I am intigued by your rich AU. Translation: GIMME MORE!
Please?

Author's Response: The next chapter will be out in a few days.

*prods author* Are you EVER going to update?!? I know that you said that you were not going to abandon any of your fics, but I think that they're becoming a bit neglected. Think of this as a friendly reminder that you have many impatient readers (but it's really a desperate plea for more chaps). ;)

Author's Response: Eek! Thank you for the gentle reminder. I'm currently in the processes of working through some er...story bugs and revamping some twisted plotlines with a new beta which has consequences for this collection of POVs as well as CaR (but in the long run this will be much much much much much better). My sincere apologies, and I thank you for you understanding and patience. The next chapter for this fic (which has been in disasterous half state of completeness for months) may be rewritten in 3rd person POV and assimilated into CaR. However, not to worry, there are some other Harry POVs that I have saved up for the end of CaR that will definitely get dumped here!

I’m sorry for lagging behind on this, but I’m here, finally!

And Nan, I have to admit that I simply cannot get enough of your writing. The characterizations, the seamless writing, engaging plot…it’s all a joy to read.

I liked how you started the chapter, with Charlie leaning back in a chair, laughing. The pure physicality of this was appealing, and not something that one usually sees right off the bat. It might seem like an odd thing to comment on, but it was striking, and it drew me in.

The interaction between Tonks and Charlie definitely pulled some grins out of me. It’s interesting, the kind of friendship that they have. Charlie treats like “one of the guys,” and Tonks enjoys it because she feels like she’s included. Their banter is great. I liked this line in particular: “Next time, you’re sitting at the other end of the greenhouse. By yourself. Without anything that might explode, or anything to poke it with.” *giggles*

Professor Snith was also very amusing. It’s quite a feat to manage to write dialogue so well that the word “flustered” practically radiates from this woman. She’s so unsure it’s almost pathetic, but I do have a certain amount of fondness for her. You’ve done very well with her, making her as large as life and yet real as Jo herself does.

And then there’s Ninette. She’s one of my very favorite OC’s. She’s realistic in a way most usually aren’t, and it makes it easy to connect to her. I can get very passionate about characters, you know, but Ninette inspires more of a tenderness. She walks a thin line, wishing to control everything, which she does primarily by dancing, but misses out on life at the same time. The line that made this really clear was this: “That was the problem, she thought rather bitterly. She did not know how to do anything besides dance.” It’s heartbreakingly true. I was also very affected by Professor Snith’s questioning of Ninette about her father, because it was so tactless. Her outward emotionless response was interesting, and her strong reaction to being touched a testament to her isolation.

Ninette is such a delicate person (She shows that she knows this herself when she thinks, “She might have been a doll herself”), and contrasts vividly with Tonks. This contrast is a lot of the fic’s appeal. You made a good but unique choice in putting these two characters together in one fic.

Your inclusion of the hints of the outside war are great, and make this fic even more unique. I’m looking forward to seeing what significance Miss Rosier will play, though, I had thought that the only Rosier at the school at that time was a boy, Evan. I was also a bit confused by your use of the name Peverell, because that’s the name of the ancestors of the Gaunt family. I have no idea whether that was intentional or not, so I’ll just have to read on really soon, I suppose. ;)

Since, as Pat once said, you and Lian are probably the most thorough people in the world, I had a difficult time finding anything to criticize, but there was one slight change that I feel could be made. When Ninette thinks “Just like a doll” a little ways down in the chapter, I feel it could have more impact if you expanded just a little and explained how exactly she’s like a doll.

But that’s basically it. I enjoyed ever second of this chapter.

“Thank you,” said Ninette softly, and stepped out into the swirling snow.”

What a beautiful ending line, for a great chapter. Hopefully I’ll get to reviewing the next one soon enough!

I'm so glad that you've updated! *falls off of chair in suprise* Thank you! Sorry it took awhile for me to review; school is running me into the ground.

So onto the review...

I'm loving the backstory that we were given in this chapter. Hermione Dancr is right about it; as I was reading Bill's "story," the writing had such good flow that it seems as though you wrote this effortlessly. I'd imagine that you've done some research on Old Magic in mythology and such, but if you thought up the idea of magic moving in circles on your own, I commend you. The perfect explanation for the fight that Gryffindor and Slytherin had and Hufflepuff's refusal are also especially intriguing parts of the backstory. I just wasn't expecting it to be Hufflepuff that would refuse, but it definitely clicks. You can usually count on a Hufflepuff to do the right thing., it seems. :) Also, this is quite arbitrary, but is it just me, or do rings and temptation always seem to go hand in hand in fiction...?

Other aspects of your writing that I'm becoming very appreciative of are your skills in characterization and dialogue. This story actually requires more work with characterization methinks, because you're starting practically from scratch considering almost all the characters are either much younger versions of themselves or completely original. And they're all wonderful. *shakes head* I don't know how you do it. For me, at least, it is amazingly easy to relate to Tonks and Ninette. (Speaking of Ninette, I'd love to see more of her soon. She's such a lovely character. *hint hint*). I'd like to note as well that I have a feeling that Kevin is going to experience some growth if he continues to be somewhat of a main character. Maybe we will see his Gryffindor qualities triumph over his cautious skeptimism?

Going right along with characterization is the phenomenal dialogue. All of it sounds like something you would hear in an average day (albiet free of Harry Potter related terms), but each character is also very distinct. Keep up the good work! Or else. ;)

I notice that you appear to have had trouble keeping Bill and Dumbledore differentiated. I think that this end product works well in that respect despite your difficulties earlier. The only qualm I have is that I have never heard anyone tell such a polished story as Bill did without writing it down or rehearsing. Then again, Bill might be special. :) Don't worry about it, it's not truly important. I just wanted to have *something* constructive to say.

Something I just recalled and am to lazy to incorporate it into the review properly: perfect pacing. Alliteration, yah!

What it's taken me all this time to sayis that you have a great story and a great chapter. I'm looking forward to the next installment of what is turning out to be a high quality fic.


Author's Response: Eek! Sorry to make you fall off your chair. And no, you may not apologize for being slow to review - after all, I took a year to post the chapter! You\'re right about rings and tempation. I don\'t know why I ended up using a ring. In my original version (so long ago) Bill\'s story was the wizarding version of Wagner\'s ring cycle, with Alberich and Napoleon (don\'t ask, long story)...so the idea of temptation was definitely there. The Alberich thing was too confusing and got cut out, but the ring hung around for whatever reason. I\'m surprised (and delighted) to see the number of people who are enjoying Kevin, who was originally a throw-away-character, and I definitely hope to develop him in the future. Thank you for the review, and for sticking around despite my hiatus, and I hope you continue to enjoy!

Hello, Nan. Once again I’ve reviewed much later than I should have. It’s rather odd that I do, considering I’m always regretful, because this story—and your writing—are utterly captivating.

I started smiling only a few paragraphs in. Not because there was anything funny, but because it gives me such a thrill to read writing that is as well-crafted as this. It’s so graceful and flowing; not poetic like your other stories, but it has its own beauty of style. Somehow you know just where to elaborate and then move seemingly effortlessly to the next thought, the next action. There is just enough description to give the reader a vivid image of the scenes taking place. I loved this sentence: “She did her homework sitting by the barre, her reflection spinning out infinitely in all directions.”

Ninette was wonderful, as usual. It was great how she related her schoolwork to dancing. (A quick note: in this sentence “Orbis was a ronde du jambe, spinning faster or slower depending on the flick of the wrist, the turn of the ankle,” you were originally missing a space after the first comma.) That though process is very IC. But it is also rather sad. She seems to be sinking more and more into the loveless, demanding world that her aunt has chained her to. “Perhaps no one would notice a silent ghost in a room full of mirrors that no one else ever looked in.” That just broke my heart. And when she smiled! Those two words—“she smiled”—were enough to instill some hope and joy. All at once she appears to be drifting closer and farther away from potential happiness. She’s developing at a slow but interesting pace.

The characterization of the others in this chapter was good. You’re doing very well with Madame’s accent, though I’m not sure that she would say “‘Ave a snowball fight,” only because she’s so imposing and serious that the words “snowball fight” seem odd coming from her. Snith was great; she’s a fantastic character. But I do tend to get annoyed by her. I suppose that’s all part of who she is, but I did notice it more this chapter.

I think you’ll know what I mean when I say that the backstory that Snith revealed is rather like the plot of a Victorian novel, as I seem to recall that’s what you’re studying. Scandals, duels, a lover leaving the country…it was amusing, in a good way. Snith’s last words on that were lovely: “But then again, that’s how it always happens with these fairytale people. Beautiful and wild and tragic, they always are. They’re far above the likes of us, you know…”

It’s all beautiful, Nan. I fervently hope that one day you will publish something; I would buy it in a heartbeat.