oooh, annie, I've been reading your story for the longest time and I can't believe I haven't left a review yet! First and foremost, I have to thank you for writing the most BEAUTIFUL, CREATIVE, ORIGINAL and TERRIFIC (wow, that's a lot of caps ;) ) Dr/H story that I have ever read. You make the characters so realistic; I love how you portray Draco!Your story is just perfect. I wish I could give it 1,000,000,000/10. It's that good. This story is very descriptive, and I can feel what the main characters go through. Keep up the super job, and please update soon. I don't think I'll be able to stand it if I have to wait long.

Ooh, it's getting lovelier by the minute! Lovely story, annie. I'm sorry I can't leave a proper review at the moment but I just want to say that I'm hanging on to each chapter. ;)

Goodness, you made me laugh! This has got to be one of the funniest fics that I've read here on MNFF. You've got a real knack for turning ordinary things into something extraordinary.

Take the Firewhisky, for example. "Glass tubes." Huh.

This is a very unrealistic story that's quite OOC, but you pulled it off splendidly. A few authors try their jab at humor, and only wind up having it unrealistic and not funny. Humor comes to you naturally, and it shows through your writing.

A couple things that I want to point out -

One is that your use of ellipses and hmms sort of ruin the story, in my opinion. They destroy the flow of the story, and dilute the humor. It would be much better without so many of them.

Two, you take Voldemort and make unnecessary comments involving him, in my opinion. For example - the one about him singing Macho Man. The humor just dies there, and makes us readers rather cringe than laugh. My advice is to take everyday things and interpret it through Nagini's eyes, and not adding silly things that don't turn out well.

Otherwise, I very much enjoyed this story. Two thumbs up!!


Author's Response: Thanks for the insightful reply. I\'ll definitely keep what you said in mind when I go to write chapter 6. :-) I really appreciate what you had to say.

Here's review Part 2! (Sorry for messing up your page.)

You build things up nicely in the beginning, with McGonagall and Siobhan's conversation, leading me to assume that Harry and Co. were actually in Hogsmeade, talking to Lucius or something of the sort.

The part that you wrote in -- about Siobhan's feelings on Harry and his part in the war -- was, I thought, truly exemplary. It gave a good bit of insight into how Siobhan perceived Harry's role in it and how she thought of that situation.

And Siobhan could not envy him such a life.

There's something in this sentence that catches my eye...your usage of words creates a phrase that is strong in expression. The words 'could not', 'envy' and 'such a life' cast a certain aura around these two characters (Harry and Siobhan) that delves into characterization: what Siobhan's outlook on life is and how she would like to spend it; we can make out that she doesn't like the way Harry is leading his life. I'm probably overanalyzing this sentence, something that I usually do, but I wanted to let you know that is is one of the better sentences in this fic. With each passing chapter, I feel much more closer to Siobhan and understand her and her motives better. It goes without saying that your characterization on her part and how you let us know more about her is wonderful. xD

“I’m simply tired of your moronic tangents.”

*looks around* Splendid word choice, anyone? Lucius is another HP character you're quite comfortable with; it shows how well you've depicted him.

For constructive criticism, there's only a small matter that I caught: however properly you've written the aforementioned characters, I'm not quite satisfied with Snape's permormance in which he is conversing with Lucius. Snape seems to equal Lucius in some way; you make them both sound somewhat eloquent, in this section:

“Well, well, well,” Snape said silkily, “what have we here?”

I've always seen Snape as much more harsher, a critical and minimalistic person. See, in one instance -- 'Lucius interrupted Snape’s haughty discourse with a spiteful glare.' -- you describe Snape as haughty and accepting in terms of finding out what Lucius/Siobhan were up to. I would interpret his behavior being more cruel and severe.

The little clues towards the end that hint at what Lucius 'is capable of' increase the anxiety between the two. You've formed something special between Lucius and Siobhan, it isn't love, and it isn't basic need, either. You're keeping me wondering about the status of their relationship; that's quite impressive.

Siobhan curled up into Lucius arms and studied his face with ardour

It's almost as if Siobhan isn't sure of what she's gotten into, of who she's dealing with. I love the part about her studying his face, like she's trying to hold on to him and never let go.

I like this chapter particularly because of how you portrayed Draco's rage getting to him, and possibly showing more feelings towards Hermione. I also like how you developed Esmeralda. It's how I imagined a vampire woman to act and speak. A job well done on that part. Also, I thought it was a bit wierd for Draco to get rid of Niklos, without anyone really noticing or caring. I know that Esmeralda said he's a trouble maker, but wouldn't more people notice, or at least care? Excellent chapter!

Author's Response: Muggles! Never notice nuffink, do they? ;) Seriously, though, I would think that vampires would merely be tolerated as long as they didn't pose a danger to the public. Niklos mesmerizing Hermione in front of Draco was the magical equivalent of pulling a gun on a cop (don't forget Draco is an Auror here). This would be especially true since it's in a *Muggle* goth club; the magical world would certainly *not* want Niklos to draw attention to himself and expose the magical world by indulging his penchant for real blood. In this sense, live people are more valued than the undead. In contrast, Esmeralda just comes to the club because she likes attention; otherwise, she is perfectly willing to play by Ministry rules. Niklos is an example to those who don't.

Very interesting. You have a unique style, and I like it very much. Snape is being very very naughty, isn't he? Poor Hermione. I love how you describe the setting. I can see the whole story unfolding in my head. Perfect, lovely and terrific. 10/10

Author's Response: Thank you very much, I love it when people like my writing style. Thank you for reviewing :)

Kimberly, I'd like to applaud you for writing an awesome fic that provided me hours of enjoyment! I loved this story a lot! You have a really nice style of writing. Every sentence has vivid descriptions, and I can totally feel what Tia's feeling. I like Tia. Her personality is really well thought out and unique. She really does have a unique mind! I like your Sirius, too. ;) 10/10

I loved this story; it is truly one of the best in this genre. What I like about it is the style. Remus was thinking just like any other human being would if they thought they'd been betrayed. You could really feel his pain and sorrow. You got the feelings down perfectly, and I feel that was really important for a story of this nature. Great job, Preethi, dear. I wish I could give it more than 10 points!

Author's Response: Ooh, *blushes* Thank you for your comments and thanks a million for taking the time to review Anna, dear.

Hey Hayli--sorry you haven't heard from me earlier...just got my account. Anyway, just reread your story ...its sooo good! Can't wait till the next chapter! Im adding this story to my faves! Keep up the good work! ;) See ya at school;)

*mouth goes dry*

*dies*

*blinks and loves*

What a gorgeous poem. The word choice is so appealing and just amazing!

I trembled when your lips caressed my thighs
Adrenalin rushed through me
I became another person with you

My favorite part. *loosens collar* It's getting a bit hot here.

...

I cannot do anything but squee over this. You represent the girl's feelings very well and you show that perfectly, in each line.

*huggles and walks off mumbling incoherently*

Author's Response: *Loves teh Anna*

What more can I say. This is actually the first HP related poem I\'ve ever written.