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The Harry Potter Literary Storm by Mind_Over_Matter
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: The Harry Potter Literary Storm has caused quite the sensation around the world, JK Rowling’s magnificent series of books touching the hearts of people of all ages. But what if Harry Potter was never written by JK Rowling in the first place? What if another genius was behind it?
Many thanks to the fantastic people who nominated this story for the Quicksilver Quills: Best Humour Fiction award. I'm truly flattered.
Chapter Seven, Part Five is now up - yes, that is the final chapter!
Date: 12/08/06 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter Seven, Parts Two and Three: Of Horcruxes and a Search
But what about Ron and the cactus?! I thought for sure I would learn about Ron and the cactus in a chapter titled 'Cactus'. Oh! You are so cruel to me!
*giggles* Ah, never mind that.
I loved, of course. It was clever, it was fun, it was silly, it was up to your usual level of excellence. There is something so incredibly funny to me about the simplicity of it all: overstating the obvious, dim-witted comments, repetition Ron feinting. I just love it.
I am also completely amused by the line:
"I bet Sirius has never stolen a Horcrux before."
For some reason, the childishness of it just struck me as hilarious!
Amazinglyfantabuexcellenteawesomeness!
Author's Response:
Thank you, darling! I always look forward to your reviews.
And sorry about the misleading cactus reference - it totally skipped my mind. But Ron will get his time, still in the last part of the chapter.
^^ Yeah. I\'m not the biggest fan of the \'Regulus for RAB theory\', so hey - especially if it\'s right, I\'ve got to jump to it now and make fun!
Lovely to hear from you, like I said, and I\'m very glad you liked this chapter!
Date: 10/20/06 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter Three: The Furry Teacher
Yes, again, another spectacularly hilarious chapter. That QsQ should hang high on your Author's Page if you ask me. I love this story and can't wait to see more of it!
Author's Response:
I think there\'s a basic formula to most of my author responses
Expression of thanks: Cheers!
Expression of flattery/humility: *Is flattered*
Stupid yabbering: I\'m glad you\'re still reading!
Another expression of thanks: Again, thank you.
Expression of love for reviews and readers: Reviews brighten my day.
See? *Hopes complicated formatting worked*
Date: 10/14/06 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One: Little Baby Potter and the Hut Out at Sea
What a fascinating and hilarious idea! I really like the story. It's very clever. I laughed out loud when everyone kept trying to write about a brid, a plane, and Superman.
Can't wait to read chapter 2!
Author's Response: I\'m glad you\'ve enjoyed it so far! I know I sure enjoyed writing it. Thanks for reveiewing ^^
Date: 10/20/06 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter Four, Part One: The Next Book About the Guy With the Thing
I don't want to be redundant, but you have asked for reviews. I would send you chocolates, because then you could enjoy them and chocolate never gets redundant...no matter how much alike it is to the last one you ate. Mmm chocolate. It never gets boaring...unlike the same ol' same reviews.
I honestly don't know what else to say. The writing is so funny and brilliant. Sometimes the simplicity of it is just so perfect, ie: Snape's line: 'that potion is yucky'. That just cracks me up to no end!
Author's Response:
BWA HA! Snape\'s wit strikes again!
And I\'m disgraced that anyone would consider any kind of review redundant. Except the ones that say \'that woz dum\', because, well, what does that say? Anyway, I\'m ecstatic that you like this story, and I\'m burning - BURNING, I TELL YOU - to post chapter six, even though the rest of chapter five must come first. *Bides time evilly*
And talk about redundant reviews - try saying \'thank you\' in three million different ways. Very difficult! So here goes: If gratitude was gold, I\'d be rich.
Author's Response: Sorry, that\'s supposed to be \'speaking of redundant reviews\'.
Date: 10/14/06 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One: Little Baby Potter and the Hut Out at Sea
What a fascinating and hilarious idea! I really like the story. It's very clever. I laughed out loud when everyone kept trying to write about a brid, a plane, and Superman.
Can't wait to read chapter 2!
I saw that this was nominated for the QsQ's. It deserves it! I hope you wiln.
Author's Response: Ah, yes. The QsQ\'s... There are some really, really amazing stories nominated. I think it was posted that there may be top five lists - so if they are, I know I\'ve got my fingers crossed, proverbially speaking! And again, thanks!
Date: 10/20/06 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter Four, Part Two: The Next Chapter About the Next Book About the Guy With the Thing
*deep sigh* I have run out of descriptors for your funnyness. Maybe there are words in other lanugages? Le funny...uhhh, los funnioso...hmmm, that's not working.
Truly, I do love this story.
As I have read through to this point, I have only found on other problem that stuck out to me. As you were so pleased I picked out the other one, I shall tell you about this one. Really, it is a minor mistake at that.
'As the whiskey was bring poured from the small-mouthed bottle'.
Author's Response:
^^ Don\'t worry about it. \'Funnioso\' works for me! Thank youoso!
*Runs off to correct mistake*
Date: 10/20/06 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter Five, Part One: A Troublesome Flashback
-Of course the flashback will work out! (Hmm, your a genius and maybe the plan is to NOT make it work out! Ohh, you're so clever!)
-Well, the public would probably riot of the book wasn't finished on time.
-I don't know the flashback extraordinaire man of geniusness could ever get a shorter name, but we could call him Mr Smartypants (oh my attempts at humour are dreadful!)
-And finally, no, no one could ever match Snape's wit, ie: 'You're stupid'. What more needs to be said?! I mean, come on!
Author's Response:
^^ I love you!
Obviously, being the subtle and mysterious person that I am, I can\'t say whether you\'re right. Except for the last question. Yay Snape!
Thanks so much, as usual!
Date: 10/21/06 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter Four, Part Two: The Next Chapter About the Next Book About the Guy With the Thing
I know exactly what you were talking about with trying to say 'thanks' twenty million different ways! I've got a fic posted and have the same problem! I've given up and have resigned myself to just saying 'Thanks, glad you liked it' along with any comments I can make based on their review. *sigh* What else can we do? I just always cross my fingers that the reviews will be quality reviews to which I can actually make a comment!
Author's Response: ^^ Haha. I know what you mean. And it\'s not like you don\'t want to thank them - at least, in my case I really do, because reviews are fabulous, but there\'s got to be something to say.
Date: 10/21/06 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter Five, Part One: A Troublesome Flashback
*giggles* Do you spend all day on here to answer your reviews? The last time I was on here and left a review, you replied to it in like two seconds!
Umm, I also have to admit that I am very intimidated to find you are taking the WWW course on the forum! How can I ever measure up?! I can't!!! I can't stand the pressure! Why do YOU need a humour course? You could practically teach it!
Author's Response:
Aww! Now I\'m all flattered.
To answer your first question, no I don\'t stay here waiting for reviews. I get an email when I get a review, and thus get it quickly. I spent a lot of time writing, or just randomly being in my bedroom, so when the computer jingles, I go \'haomgreview!\' and answer in two seconds.
And you wouldn\'t believe how weird it is for someone else to be intimidated by me - I\'m intimidated by, like, everyone on the internet. Because you never know - they could be a million times more intelligent than I am. Besides, have you seen the crappy drabbles I\'ve written so far in the WWW course? Capital \'C\', really. I really stink with such specific prompts.
lol, and I\'m intimidated by the fact that Oppungo\'s teaching - wow! I mean, who on MNFF hasn\'t heard of \'Dear Dumby\'?
Date: 01/05/07 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter Seven, Part Five: Happy O’Brien’s Monumental Success
Should I laugh or should I cry? It's over, it's really over.
This chapter was, by far, THE best chapter ever...and not just because you mentioned me in your A/N!! lol Thank you very much for that, by the way. I was honoured to the point of blushing! You know I'm here anytime!!
I absolutely loved this chapter. It was brilliant, it was hilarious, all that I have come to expect from you and more. I especially love that Ron was able to find his heroism - and the cactus part was great!
Who ever would have thought of Voldemort being Harry's dad?! *blinks in a totally wide-eyed and innocent way*
AND you mentioned the Deathpants!! That was great!
How funny was the ending too, right? Just 'Scar.' ROFL!
I loved it. I'm sad to see it end, but I loved it. I hope to see more amusing stories from you, although you do have quite a flare for the serious stuff, too!
Congratulations on finishing such a spectacular story. Twenty pats on the backs, a ticker-tape parade, a dozen balloons, a shiny tiara, two-dozen roses, AND...my tears at the end of the story. :D I'm so proud!
Author's Response:
I know exactly how you feel. But I find laughing\'s usually more fun than crying, so I suggest that ;)
Without wanting to sound big-headed and ridiculous, I\'m kind of inclined to agree about this chapter being the best one of my lot. I\'m rather proud of it, and I\'m glad you think it\'s the best one too!
AND the cactus part satisfied! *Sigh of relief*. I\'m so happy^^
About the \'Voldemort being Harry\'s Dad\' thing though, I\'m not sure whether you\'re kidding or not. It\'s in the very first chapter - it is, it is! *Stomps foot* That was supposed to be making fun of the (totally fantastic, by the way) concept of foreshadowing.
Thank you! Thank you so much for everything! *Love*
Date: 01/05/07 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter Seven, Part Five: Happy O’Brien’s Monumental Success
Oh, since everyone is complaining about getting reviews lost, I felt compelled to share my discovery with you all. If you hit the submit button and it tries to log you off or you lose it, just hit the back button - don't freak out when it shows you an empty review box. Then hit the forward button. When I do this, it usually says what ever it is the site says when you successfully submit a review. That's how I've gotten around that problem.
Oh, and just so you know, MOM, my love, I caught the Goldilocks thing too, I just forgot to mention it. I thought every single element was hilarious, and I love how Ron leaned on a very obvious Pillar, but just couldn't find the one they were looking for!
*sighs*
Author's Response:
How on Earth did you work that out? The last thing I\'d think of doing when I see an empty review box is forwarding...
And yay ^^ Again, remember my infinite thanks.
Date: 11/26/06 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter Seven, Part One: Publicity, Flashbacks and a Deal
Yes, I like that much better. 'Colourful personality' - I need to remember that for future use and defense of my silliness.
Of course I kept up with the whole Slughorn fiasco! I loved it! Dumbledore's real name being Icicle, THAT was hilarious... why didn't JK really name someone that? She should have taken some of the rumours and used them! Then the whole Romulus and Remus part ticked me. I wonder how many people truly caught the significance of that?
Author's Response:
Oh, yes. I find it quite useful. I got the term from an interesting Canadian lady who called me a peach ^^
*Does the \'making sense\' dance*
But Sekhmet, really. If J.K. used rumours, this story would lose ever so much of its novelty! Although I\'d really like to see her version of both Harry and Voldemort getting killed in the sixth book...
Date: 11/03/06 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter Five, Part Two: The Flashback Extraordinaire Man Of Geniusness
I SNORTED!! I laughed so hard, I snorted! I had just poured myself a nice cup of hot tea but couldn't take a drink of it for fear of it coming out my nose! There is something so insanely hilarious about the simple and ridiculous insults that everyone in the HP story consider so crushing!! And the way Harry seems to be quite an idiot! I LOVE IT!! *cackles insanely*
I can't wait for the next one. I wish this story would never end. Do you hear me?! NEVER!! Sadly, I know that it will.
:(
You are brilliant. BRILLIANT, I say!
Author's Response:
*Happy buzz*
Wow, thank you! It\'s my sister\'s birthday party today. Many kids swamping the house. But it\'s been made by these lovely reviews!
And dunnot worry too much. Although I do have to admit that this is the kind of story that ends, there\'s still quite a way to go yet.
Again, thank you, thank you, thank you for this happy and encouraging review!
Date: 11/03/06 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter Five, Part Two: The Flashback Extraordinaire Man Of Geniusness
I SNORTED!! I laughed so hard, I snorted! I had just poured myself a nice cup of hot tea but couldn't take a drink of it for fear of it coming out my nose! There is something so insanely hilarious about the simple and ridiculous insults that everyone in the HP story consider so crushing!! And the way Harry seems to be quite an idiot! I LOVE IT!! *cackles insanely*
I can't wait for the next one. I wish this story would never end. Do you hear me?! NEVER!! Sadly, I know that it will.
:(
You are brilliant. BRILLIANT, I say!
Author's Response: ^^ I even got a buzz reading that a second time.
Date: 11/03/06 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter Five, Part Two: The Flashback Extraordinaire Man Of Geniusness
Ahhh!! Why won't they let me erase my stupid double post. But more importantly - why didn't you win the QsQ?!!!
Author's Response:
I don\'t know - but at least double posts don\'t happen THAT often, huh? I\'m just glad the doubled one wasn\'t a bad review like, \'omg this isnt evin a storee an lyk wots with snape ommg???22219\'
And as for the QsQ\'s, DUDE. Have you read Tom Riddle and the Half-Blood Prince? Talk about brilliant; that was the first humour fanfiction I ever read. I\'m just delighted with my three nominations. *Huggles*
Date: 11/23/06 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter Seven, Part One: Publicity, Flashbacks and a Deal
NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! It's just not long enough! I need more, MORE I tell you!
Umm, 'scuse me! Pardon the weirdness. I'll act like a normal human being now.
As I have said so many times that I have lost count, another brilliant chapter! I don't really know what more I can say about this story that I haven't said before. It's brilliant in it's obvious silliness. It's perfectly ridiculous in a wonderful way. I'm sure when I finally read the last book, I'll think, 'this so doesn't compare with the 'Literary Storm'. and throw it away........ okay, maybe I wouldn't go that far, but I do love this story.
Thank you so much for sharing it with us!!!!
-Erica
Author's Response:
^^ Haha. I have this image of a highly anonymous looking someone (since I have no idea what you look like) reading the beginning of the seventh book and going, \'pfft. The Protagonist, Antagonist and family figures are all still alive? Such ridicularity.\'
Other than that though, I know! The actual book part of this chapter is very short, because there\'s so much time spent with Happy and the crew. There\'s plenty of action in following chapters though, so never fear, thanks for reviewing, and I look forward to hearing your opinions on the rest of the story.
Date: 11/23/06 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter Seven, Part One: Publicity, Flashbacks and a Deal
Oops, sorry to double review, but I realized I had better clarify my statement. When I said 'read the last book' - I meant JK's for REAL last book. Yeah, so, now that I've made an idiot of myself, I'll go!
Author's Response:
Oh, come on. Everything you\'ve ever written to me has been really kind and fabulous. Plus, you made me a banner. I don\'t think I\'m physically capable of thinking you sound like an idiot!
Date: 11/25/06 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter Seven, Part One: Publicity, Flashbacks and a Deal
Well, I'm certainly glad to see that you don't think I'm an idiot! Really I'm not, I just get a little over-excited and carried away. And if you ever need to picture me being annoyed with the real book 7 again, you can picture a girl with curly blone hair and glasses who looks like she's about 18, but is really ten years older, that's me!
I do have a quick question, though... Dumbledore's brother, Aberforth, you made his name Aberforth (right?) Pyrites Slughorn... he wouldn't be the same Pyrites from chapter one, would he?
Author's Response:
I know exactly what you mean. I do the same thing, and seriously come across as a complete moron. I\'ve decided \'colourful personality\' is the best way to describe the phenomenon.
Ah. Good ol\' Pyrates. To answer your question: *Taps nose* Absolutely. And I\'m impressed that you kept up with the whole Slughorn fiasco.
Date: 09/16/06 Title: None
Oh my, what an intense chapter! You start it out with instant tension! You have done a spectacular job. So, from what I understand, you have started the story with the end and now you are going to go back. What a fascinating idea. I really liked this story.
Author's Response: Thank you! *squee* Yeah, I too liked the idea of the time change, it gets readers hooked apparently. I can see it worked! :p
The Dark Lord's Blog by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: What does Lord Voldemort do in his spare time? Well, that's an excellent question. Who would have known that the Dark Lord has a blog? (He also has a loyal following of readers, most of whom are Death Eaters and who post their comments.) Voldemort dispenses advice on everything from murder methods to germ protection to Power Rangers to shoes, and gives an account of the life of an evil overlord. But is he posting too much personal information online? And will Harry read it and find out more about the Dark Lord than Voldemort ever intended? Read and see.
WARNING: Extremely OOC behaviour from almost all.
RUNNER-UP in the 2007 Quicksilver Quills Awards for Best Humour fic! Also nominated like 21 times, because apparently my readers are as insane as I am!
Date: 11/25/06 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Don't Try This At Home
What an ingenious idea! I know you as the beta for my favorite humor story: The Harry Potter Literary Storm, but I'm very pleased to find you've got a sharp and witty sense of story writing yourself. I loved the whole thing, so it would be quite silly to try and post my favorite parts in here. The screennames are hilarious, and Voldemort acting like he does is great! The way you insert yourself into the story is also very clever.
Author's Response: Thank you very much! \"The Harry Potter Literary Storm\" is also one of my favourite stories on MNFF.
Author's Response: