Thank you for stopping by. I sincerely hope that you will read my work, give me some advice, and check out my favorites list.
I am a proud member of Ravenclaw house.
My stories:
On Broken Wings
A Charlie/Hermione romance.
At the End Comes the Beginning
A poem about the journey to the Afterlife.
Our Legacy
A four founders tale.
Broken
Will Alice ever recover her sanity?
Myth and Mystery
Alice is swept into a hair-raising adventure.
Flight, Fright, and Fight
Narcissa must learn to fight for her identity.
:) .... just a word or two of praise for your style, your character development, and your humor. Spot on..... :)
~Fauna
Author's Response: Glad you\'re enjoying it. I had a heck of a time getting this story on here in the first place. Mugglenet rejected it several times before finally agreeing to post it.
That was wonderful! So sweet and perfect. That is exactly how I always pictured their relationship. The pain, the arguments, the apologies, the touch of humor.... you captured Ron and Hermione perfectly.
Keep writing! You have a definite flare for getting inside character's heads and making them crystal-clear to the reader.
~Fauna
Author's Response: Oh thank you so much! You definitely made me smile after a very long day :]\r\n-Lucia
Good good good... excellent! Please do make it a two-shot (at the very least.) I was afraid I might be grossed out, but I wasn't... in fact I found their meeting very touching. I think there are several ways to solve the difficulties you mentioned in your author's note, so don't stop because of them. You definitely have enough material for a longer story. Bravo and please continue!
~Fauna
Author's Response: Thanks so much, Fauna! I\'m still thinking about the two-shot thing; hopefully it will happen. ^_^
Neville has always dreamt of being able to cure his parents for their mental disorders someday. When he finally learns about a mysterious fairytale Scandinavian being Näcken, he once again cherishes his old dreams and sets out in search of it.
Neville travels deep into the dark forests of Sweden, in a desperate search for the only being which might be able to heal his parents. But is it possible to find the Lord of the Rivers, and does he even exist?
However, Neville's journey takes a dangerous turn when two evil Death Eaters prepare for revenge on him.
This is JOHN91043353 of the magnificent, yet humble, Ravenclaw house for the Four Elements Challenge. This is the Water prompt.
Hey there, John!
This is an awesome entry for the challenge. Go Ravenclaw! Funnily enough I have an entry in the queue too, and guess what is about.... that's right! Neville and the curing of his mother. My entry is for the Air prompt, but I had no idea you where writing about almost the same thing for the Water prompt. Freaky. When I submitted my story I decided to read the other entries. What a surprise when I saw yours was about Neville too!
Now, on to your story....
The pacing and the setting are perfect. You have really captured the feel of a foreign country. Sweden just seems to come alive when I am reading. That is because you include details-- the flowers and their names, the lines in Swedish, etc. Obviously you don't want to go over-board with stuff like this, but you didn't.
Your characterizations are good. Harry and Ron's cameo appearance is excellent. They are perfectly in character, and I loved Ron's line: "No! Everything isn’t always about you Harry." LOL. That was great. Neville is good too, but if I were being super picky I might suggest making him a little more three-dimensional. My suggestion would be to give him some interesting thoughts/lines.
Linnèa is a great OC. I definitely want to see more of her personality, she has a lot of potential. Make sure you give her a whole back-story in your head, even if you don't write about it in this story. You mentioned that Neville thinks she is a lot like Luna. Good-- let your readers discover the similarities too. Don't just come out and say: she is like Luna because of 'x'. Work in 'Luna-ish' speeches/actions/etc. You probably don't want to make them too similar, but that is why you should have her whole story worked out roughly in your head. That way you know exactly what she would say or do if x,y, or z happens. Am I making any sense?
I can't wait to meet the Lord of the Rivers, or see what happens when the two figures hiding in the bushes make their move.
Bravo, and good luck in the Challenge. May the best story win (and we will keep our fingers crossed that the best comes from Ravenclaw!)
~Fauna
That was beautiful and touching.
You have portrayed all the horribleness of the werewolf colony, but you managed to balance it too. The werewolves were not all bad-- there was Ylva. Catherine and Log were interesting characters. I could clearly understand how lycanthropy had affected their personalities. You seem to have a good grasp of the human psyche.
I noticed one or two missing words/minor details. Nothing really important but if you are super-super picky you might want to run though the story one more time.
*Hugs*
~Fauna
Author's Response: Wow, thanks Steph, I\'m glad you liked it. I was trying to write about how growing up as werewolves would have affected the way they thought and saw the world, so I\'m really glad that came through.\r\n\r\nAnd I really should start getting my fics beta\'d. :)\r\n\r\n--Tash
What is a story without a scandal?
Underneath every burn hole on the tapestry of the Black family tree, there is a story, and underneath every story, there is a scandal.
In 1924, the Blacks were the most powerful family of the Wizarding World. They were greedy, back-stabbing, malicious, and power-hungry. And Cedrella was no exception. She was her father's favourite daughter; the pride of the Blacks, and it has earned her a conceited nature like no other.
But during her seventh year at Hogwarts, her life begins to become a little more clear, her family a little more conniving. She is arranged to wed the infamous Abraxus Malfoy and has people watching her every move to make sure she follows through. It makes it even more difficult when Septimus Weasley, a blood traitor and fellow classmate, starts to convince her, that for once in her life, she could have what she wanted.
A scandal forms between the two; a forbidden love between Black and Weasley behind the walls of Hogwarts. If they are found out, their lives will be ruined. But even under the opposition, what a Black wants...
a Black gets.
What a great start! You have portrayed the Black family perfectly. Cedrella is the kind of character you hate to love and love to hate-- spoiled, saucy, beautiful, and clever. She has so much potential-- I can't wait to see what happens.
I would advise you to get a second beta or a few advance readers. There were a lot of spelling and grammar mistakes. For example, you said Cedrella's father 'donned' a head of dark hair. 'To don' means to put on, i.e. get dressed; so you can say a man donned his cloak, but a man can only don his hair if he wears a wig. There are a few other things like this, but that one stood out for me. ;-) The spelling is also shaky in spots. But these are just technicalities. The story itself is top notch.
I loved the video trailer you have up on YouTube. Guys, if you haven't seen it already go check it out!
Well, this story definitely goes on my favorite list.
~Fauna