*rolls around laughing*

That was original. Now, I have an urge to write one for Sevy. This was super cute. I hope Sirius was sitting under your Christmas tree this morning.

Author's Response: Don't worry, Sirius is with me constantly. *winks"

Thank you for reviewing but Sevy... sigh each to their own.

Carole xxx

This is certainly an interesting poem, and I can clearly see young Severus in your words. Sitting solitary, day after day with only books for company. That is exactly how I imagine Severus’ childhood, with little visits from Lily, of course. Was Lily the little girl? I assumed it had to be her.

I really liked the end of your poem when Severus was showed a real coin trick after claiming to dislike them. It just seemed really fitting. A nice way to end things.

I did find parts of this hard to read though. The entire poem is written in one long stanza. There’s nothing technically wrong with this, but it doesn’t do much for flow. Your poem tells a story and each stanza could be a paragraph, giving better timing and flow. Stanzas could also reduce confusion by telling readers when the focus is about to change.

Overall, a very nice with poem. You did Severus proud.

I’m surprised to see this poem has only one other review. It’s very cute, and Draco is such a popular character. You really should be getting more attention for this. But I’ve seen plenty of great, neglected fics on here.

Anyway, I have to say that I really enjoyed this. For the most part, the flow is very smooth, which is one of the hardest things to get right in poetry, in my opinion. Sure, there are a few places that maybe could’ve sounded slightly better, but that happens. So many people think poetry is a quick way to write fan fiction and get on the site, but it’s really harder than writing a long winded story.

The only thing about this poem that irked me was when Draco referred to his father as nasty. Most of people see Lucius Malfoy that way, but not his son. Lucius is a lot of things, not all of them good, but I think the stories have always showed him as a good father. I don’t think there was ever a second that Draco didn’t adore both of his parents.

My favorite line was near the end. “Please, Bellatrix, please stop talking.” Bella is my favorite character, but I had to laugh at that line. I wondered how many people had that exact same thought. As much as I love her, she really doesn’t seem to know when to shut up.

I also especially liked the way you ended this poem. Draco realizing that the war was just beginning. Dumbledore’s death would be a catalyst, spurring everything ahead. Because the books are told from Harry’s point of view, Draco always seems arrogant and stupid. I can’t argue with the first one, but that boy was never stupid. I think you captured him very well.

This is a great poem. I hope you continue to write about Draco in future fics.

This is pretty good. I like the imagery, but emotion is entirely lacking. You give readers all these nice pictures in their mind, but this is a scene about death and the end of a very long war. Harry is emotional. Even Voldy is likely to be feeling something. Everyone in that room is feeling something, likely fear. I think this poem could be greatly improved if some of these emotions are explored.

This is nice. A sweet little poem with just a hint of the sadness and darkness surrounding the story.

It’s nice to see something out there about Hedwig’s death. He wasn’t an integral part of the story like Dobby, but he was important to Harry, and it was sad to see him go. It’s nice to think that a little girl with magic in her veins stumbles upon him. Surely she’ll give the great owl a honorable resting place.

Technically this poem is good, too. The flow is nice and even. All the sentences fit together well to convey a great amount of emotion.

Well done.

Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing! I love Hedwig so much. Thank you so much!!

This is a cute little poem, and I like the overall feel of it. The repetition of colors is nice touch. I think of Draco and Hermione when I read this. Maybe because I’ve seen a lot of that pairing lately, but is it meant to be them?

I’m not that keen on the format of this poem. Each new line of poetry is meant to start with a capital letter, even if it’s a continuation from a previous sentence. You have stanzas that don’t even start with a capital letter. That just looks strange.

The flow is also a bit awkward. Personally, making a poem flow right is very difficult for me, but it’s one of the most important things about poetry. Poetry is meant to sound in sync when you read it. I don’t get that feeling with this poem. The lines just don’t seem to fit together to make a musical sounding poem.

Overall, I like the idea, but I think the format could use some more work.

Wow. Okay, this is not my favorite pairing. I’ve read it a few times, and it can be done well, which it is here.

My only issue with your fic is some of the characterization of Draco. I like your Draco, and a lot of his personality is very canon, but not all. There are times when he sounds, a lot more like Snape. Draco didn’t grow-up sad and lonely. He had parents who loved him and friends (or minions) at his side. He was never really alone and he talks like he’s never had anyone. I can see him feeling this way in love, but not in life as a whole.

I must say, you are very talented with love scenes. Even at the beginning when Draco and Harry were having what was meant to be meaningless sex, you wrote it so perfectly. The emotions were clear. Later when they were finally coming to terms with how they feel, it was actually heartwarming.

And when it comes to responding to a lover, I think you captured Harry and Draco dead on. Great job with this fic.

I absolutely love stories that center around the events following Dumbledore’s death. I read a great many of them before the release of The Deathly Hallows. Then when the book finally did come out I was very disappointed to discover that Rowling wasn’t going to reveal the events of that night, beyond the fact that everyone survived it. Although, I suppose it still makes these stories fun and relevant.

Most stories I’ve read about that night focus on Severus. I like that this one is more about Draco. There is no doubt that night changed his life as much as Severus. It’s also nice to see him in such a vulnerable and confused state. Prior to this task, Draco always seemed sure of himself and played the perfect bad boy. Finding more to his character is very rewarding.

I like the idea that you had Draco ill after what happened. It’s a pretty natural human response to that kind of experience, but I’d never thought of it before. I always saw him as upset that night, in particular when he ultimately gets home to Narcissa, but illness never occurred to me. Good call on your part.

I was less fond of your characterization of Severus in this. Taking Draco somewhere safe to recover feels right, but beyond that not so much. In this story, he treats Draco much like he’d treat Harry, which has never been the case. It’s true I can’t picture him being especially comforting, but I think he’d be kinder, and at least keep the taunting to a minimum.

My favorite line: Voldemort would sooner take a muggle wife than forgive the failing of a servant. That made me laugh. Very cute.

Although, I must say, I don’t think Draco would refer to the Dark Lord as Voldemort, even in his own mind. He’s terrified of the man, especially after his failure. And he’s well aware of the rules regarding his name.

Overall, I liked this story. It’s a nice look into the emotional side of Draco. However, it’d have been nice if it were a little longer and showed the Dark Lord’s reaction.

Oh, Harry. I love how dense he can be sometimes. I knew who D was when I read the first letter.

Anyway, Jess, this is brilliant. Dennis is such an underrated character. I’ve always thought of him as a smaller version of Colin. I never even gave much thought to how he’d be affected by the death of his brother. I love how you showed the effects this war had on characters who weren’t necessarily directly involved. When I think of post-war stories I always think of the characters that fought and saw people die and the guilt they live with. But this is just as valid. Losing a family member is always painful and considering the circumstances and the age of both brothers this is bound to be especially traumatic. Congrats on capturing something that could’ve been easily lost in the fandom.

I also love the way you handled Harry in this. He didn’t know what was going on. He didn’t know who was talking to him. And he honestly had his own problems. Yet someone was reaching out to him, and he didn’t bother to respond until it was too late. Makes me think that he’ll have even more guilt to deal with, which was very cruel of you, by the way.

Absolutely wonderful and heartbreaking story.

Author's Response:

Well, hello there!

I agree that Harry is dense in the things that matter, sometimes to the detriment of others. For example, his botched relationship with Cho, or ignoring the signs of Ron becoming disgruntled to the point of leaving in DH. Granted, the Horcrux necklace had a hand in that, but maybe if Harry hadn't acted like his problems were the only one in the universe, it might never have happened. But that's neither here nor there.

I can't blame Harry in this story, though. After the war in which he had lost so much, the idea of getting fanmail would just be sickening to him, I think, and that would, as I showed in the story, lead him to either not read them or put off reading them as long as he could get away with. Maybe, though, if he had stopped and thought about why people write fanmail in the first place, often to reach out to someone admired to feel a part of something, he might not have ignored his mounting pile. Granted, a number of the letters he got were probably fangirly, but in the depths of all of that lay a boy who was drowning in things he had no business dealing with alone. Harry was probably the wrong choice of saviour, ironically enough, but at that age, who is really expected to deal with all of the things Dennis had on his plate and keep their head above water? Yes, Harry could've helped, but so could a number of other people.

I do write a lot of battle fic and battle poetry, but I try to make sure that the rest have their story told, as well. What about Andromeda, who lost her husband, daughter, and son-in-law? Dennis lost his brother. Many people lost sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, and a number of others are left to pick up the pieces of the world that Voldemort created in Year Seven. All of them have a story, and I'm glad I could make you consider some of them. :)

Anyway, thanks for stopping by and NOT reading some scary thing on the older half of my author page, lol. See you around!

~Jess

Jess, Jess, Jess. Although, I really enjoyed this story, I have to admit that I’m not at all sold on cousin pairings. Yet you still manage to write a fic that draws me in so, as per usual, you rule.
I loved the use of Rose’s name throughout the story. Her feelings towards it were very interesting and oddly apt at times. While Al’s take on her name is more simplistic it still shows the strange infatuation he has with her.

I also have to comment on Al’s feelings towards the original Albus. Very nice. Every time I find a story that represents my feelings towards that man, I want to sing. So many people consider him an unquestionable hero, and I see him as anything but. It’s nice to think that the next generation can look at the war with fresh eyes and see him for what he truly was.

This was a wonderful story filled with sadness, but still offering a ray of hope for the future. As always, well done.

Author's Response:

Helloooo!

I'm glad you liked the story. Really, what I wanted for it in terms of the cousin pairings was to show it in a light where it doesn't *really* matter. For most UKers, it doesn't. The thought is there in their heads, but it isn't a deciding factor. The end result is more because of Rose's self-image and general lack of interest in Albus, at least in respect to romance.

I find it interesting that you latched onto Al's view of Dumbledore. Really, Dumbledore is a dubious hero, because he was a master manipulator who can't trust himself to hold power because he knows he will abuse it. Sure, he ended on the side of good, but he well could've done otherwise if his sister hadn't died and shook him out of it.

Anyway, thanks for stopping by and reviewing. It's appreciated. And don't forget...this story is on the review drive list, so don't forget to sign up and get you some points for your dedication to research. :)

~Jess