The terribly unfair thing about your writing is that you put your characters in impossible situations so routinely. Like Hermione, Harry, and Ginny. But if you had to put them in that situation, I’m glad you gave them the credit to come out of it well. Ginny’s right – if the war didn’t manage to destroy them, a tiny thing like Snape’s child wouldn’t. Not that I don’t think you’ve put an entire story into half a page at the beginning of this one… but at least you did a good job of it.

But they were scared, after all, if Harry Potter’s eldest child, the daughter of two notable Gryffindors, could be a Slytherin, then anything was possible. I’m not sure about the comma after scared. I think I’d make it a period. The same for the comma in this sentence: She’d gazed fearfully at her new head of house, it was no secret that Severus Snape hated Harry Potter and the feeling was mutual. Those were the only two that I caught – there’s a typo later on though.

Her father still loved her, would always love her. She’d already begun to suspect that he wasn’t, in fact, her father, so that bit of reassurance had touched her even more. This is where I really start to get a feeling for Inarra. From here out, especially in dialog, she’s a very strong presence. I love how she calls Harry ‘sir’, and how he reacts to it. I really love the closeness of the family, despite who she is and everything that happened. It makes me love Harry, and even be willing to forgive Ginny for existing.

Have you any idea what you’ve just asked for?” he gasped. For the most part, I really like Snape’s character. But I can’t see him gasping. Being surprised, yes. Gasping… *tries to imagine.* It just doesn’t work for me. What I do really like is the way she won’t look at him, despite how boldly she speaks to him. And the way she mentions her mother’s rape so matter-of-factly. It’s extremely insensitive, and it makes it clear that she is a child, even if she’s sounding fairly adult during the conversation.

“No,” he murmured. “No, your being my daughter is more complicated than that. I feel no shame when I look upon you.” And that is perfect Snape. Reluctant, but fair. *runs off with MJ’s Snape to use in her own stories*


Author's Response: *giggles* Thanks for the Review! *whispers* thisisunbeta\'d... So yeah, I\'ll have to go in and correct the mistakes, thank you for pointing them out :) And yes, I\'ve put an entire story in half a page... I\'ve a bad habit of that. I didn\'t really want to tell THAT story, I wanted to discover Inarra ;-) I\'m absolutely tickled that you like my Snape, though, I always feel I don\'t do him justice. YOu\'re right about the \'gasped\'. I\'ll have to think of a better word for that line. Thanks!

Hmm. Is Ed a kneazle, or part kneazle? He seems awfully intelligent for a cat. Not that I’m insulting cats in any way… *eyes author*. This chapter was very good, again. I liked that you explained the Leaky Cauldron quite clearly, without giving us the name.

I was bit confused by one - no, two things. First, did he dig a different burger from the trash than the one the girl threw out? And second, how did he learn to read?

Neville’s learned transfiguration. Though the mouse was the same color as the pepper, wasn’t he? Nice touch. I’m very curious to see how Trent fits in at Hogwarts. I can tell it’s going to be difficult for him. Congratulations on the creation of a very interesting OC.

Author's Response: Hah! No offense, taken.. (it actually made me laugh). You\'ll find out more about Ed as you find out more about Trent. *will say nothing more*

To clarify, yes, he dug a different burger out of the garbage (because it\'s right outside the establishment, so other burgers would have been thrown away). Where he learned how to read, well, that\'s answered next chapter.

Yes, Neville learned transfiguration.. I thought that he would take it upon himself (possibly with Harry\'s help or guidance) to get better at that, being in the Order and all.

Thanks again for the review!
- Jacie the Cat

First of all, I love the title. It fit’s the story well - because it jumps all over the place, because Ginny and Harry break up, and because everything with Luna is a bit disengaged by nature. That’s what makes her Luna.

Hermione folded the last triangle on the last box so that the paper folded into a prefect Reindeer dotted quadrilateral. I love this line. It conveys a certain sense of satisfaction, and a certain meticulousness that is very Hermione-like. The happy cartoon reindeer are funny too - because I always find them annoyingly cheerful, and clearly Ron agrees with me. Oh, and this: "I didn't do anything...well anything wrong." Ron set the packages on the table and turned to face Hermione. "I told Harry not to come this Christmas." I think that says a lot about how Ron feels, the way he starts out denying doing anything, and then finally admits what he did. I hear guilt there, in his defensiveness. Actually, I think that says it all nicely. I wouldn’t bother with the bit where he talks to the owl. But then, I have trouble meeting minimum word counts, because I don’t bother.

More love. Harry and his world-saving shoes. Wizards in bathrobes. Giggles all around. And then the slightly bitter explanation of what he’s doing, which completely ruins any holiday cheer. In fact, this story is really about the people left out of Christmas, isn’t it? I mean, I kinda knew that, but I just actually noticed. And I probably shouldn’t write reviews at midnight. Ok, found a nitpick here: That was the secret to fitting in on a London street. Wear something appropriate, and keep moving like you have somewhere to go. You switch tense there. Now, I realize that the general statement is probably still true, but it’s annoying to see everything else is past tense. If nothing else, maybe change the first sentence to match the second? Did I mention that I love the way you throw in details about the world. Just your descriptions of the background people; they’re not splendidly eloquent or anything, but they’re interesting.

I think I would have preferred to see Remus and Neville introduced in person, with some random detail about each, or a line of dialog or something. It seems a bit odd to throw them into the middle of a sentence as strays. Harry and Ginny Potter's future lived in her head down to the monogrammed towels and the embossed stationary. And here, do we have the reason it only lived in Ginny’s head? I can’t honestly imagine Harry happy with monogrammed towels. I see him with ratty old things he’s always too busy to replace, or maybe spontaneous buys in a color that doesn’t match. Hmm. Maybe this is why I ship Harry/Luna? >.>

"So why isn't he here? Why isn't he fighting for me? I fought for him." That line really makes me feel for Ginny, and at the same time it makes me want to growl at her. Hasn’t he done enough fighting? What right do you have to expect him to fight for you, especially since the fight isn’t against anything external to the two of you? Why are you placing demands on him he’s not ready to meet. *growl growl grumble growl.* And then Neville is there to comfort her, which she does deserve, so it’s sad but not too sad. You’re good at that, too.

I’m not commenting on the Luna sections because they’re too real to need comment. They aren’t good or bad or in the middle. They just are, quite as if this all really happened. I am getting a few good chuckles though, and for the record I love Luna. I wish I was brave enough to be as off-the-wall as she is. I think you know my opinion of Stan - I’m sure I mentioned it somewhere. Perfect, in any event.

“Mum thinks we’re fighting.”/“She’s right.” I love that. And the rest of the fight, especially Hermione’s smile and Ron’s reaction. Actually, that’s the best Ron/Hermione I’ve seen in… awhile.

Does it count as a review if all it says is, "heart"?

Author's Response: Sure! Thanks!

Hmm. Very good point about the Weasleys - I wouldn't cross those four either.

Author's Response: *giggle* Thanks!

I'm crying. I don't cry at stories. Evil you. Poor Snape. Excellent start.

Author's Response: Mmmmm. Mask reviews! And the best kind, too! Thanks for picking this up and letting me know.

Oh, please do switch him for the Minister. That would be highly amusing. Very excellent description of Snape not-crying, by the way. Let’s see - Draco, and now Ginny - I hate both of them, but you’ve made me enjoy both. Who are you planning to redeem next?

Author's Response: Meh -- that\'s enough redemption for this week. I\'m glad the description and the humor worked for you! Thanks!

Ooo. Ron and Draco were married? Lovely. Hermione and Neville - I'm not bashing your ships here, but you'll have to convince me of that one. Snape is, of course, perfect, so I won't talk about that. I'm beginning to really like Ginny. And this is a disjointed review.

Author's Response: Well, even disjointed reviews are appreciated. Neville always had a thing for Hermione; once Ron had so deeply offended her, she finally noticed. How\'s that?

Wow.

You did a wonderful job building doubt and suspense. For a long while I had no idea what Bella was going to do; everything seemed perfectly possible. I wasn’t expected the ending, but it worked very well nonetheless. Actually, it was the most logical thing, though I almost wanted to see Bellatrix’s thoughts if Voldemort has betrayed her.

A few more visual details would have been appreciated. I had a clear feeling for the character, but a hard time imagining her surroundings. Andromeda’s ghost-like state was described well enough, but not what she looked like - her height, build, hair length, facial shape, what have you. One or two details would have helped there, too. I’m curious as to why Andromeda willingly sacrificing herself for her family didn’t create the same magical reaction that Lily’s sacrifice did.

All in all though, a very interesting take on the Black sisters. Bellatrix was very ruthless, very self-centered… but she almost changed. And her sister was equally so.

Very nice Riddle characterization :). I love your idea of a miracle; very original, and very interesting.

Author's Response: Thank you! :) I was a bit worried about how Tom Riddle should sound in this, having never written him before, and was surprised when his character actually came pretty easily.