Haha, I love your first stanza!!! It's hilariously funny, and it is absolutely true. For so long, Ginny had been an outsider - the girl that was in the Chamber of Secrets and one year younger than a lot of people. But in the end she got Harry and she had a right to be proud. Your rhyming is nice, and it is very true and funny.

I have to admit that I do not quite understand the second stanza. Yes, Harry asked her to the dance, and yes she twittered and giggled, but why did she lose the chance at romance? Wasn't it Harry who didn't want to dance with her.

The rest of the poem is good. I like it. It makes me actually feel good for Ginny, and made me feel like she deserved harry. As a STRONG Harmony shipper, this is something that only a really good author with an excellent way with words an achieve. So I commend you.

-Megan

Hello there. I must say that when I first read your summary, it quite intrigued me. And after reading this, I quite liked the concept.

Lie back against the dusty walls,
Grimly I await the morning call.

I got slightly confused by this bit here. Do you think maybe it would make sense if it were worded like this:

"I lie back against the dusty walls,
Grimly awaiting the morning call."

Also, in the next stanza:

A loud snarl filled with only
Hatred; the voice that had laughed so ...

I think that is a rather odd place to break up the line. It sounded choppy. It would probably flow more smoothly if the word "hatred" was moved up one line. Also "bitterness" has the same effect on me. Maybe it's just reader's preference.

I was also slightly confused, and this is more than likely my own error, by the line "the voice that had laughed so lovingly." Is this Aunt Petunia laughing at someone other than Harry, and now she is just growling at Harry? Yes ... I think that makes sense.

The third stanza is really excellent. We know that Harry had dreams that were actually memories of when he was living with James and Lily. I appreciate that you added this in here. The word "one" made me think for a moment, and it would be easier to comprehend if you added a "dream" instead, but it would hinder the meaning and poetic aspect of that line.

I also like how Harry is wondering if Dudley feels the same way about aunt Petunia as he does about Lily. This is brilliant. Of course Harry would wonder about Dudley, this makes it seem great! You did a really nice job with adding the thought about Dudley in there. That was an interesting route to go, and it was a creative and worthwile one at that.

"It's not real, I know, the voice outside told me so." So poetic, so true, so beautiful. And the next line "but it sure felt like it was, something for me only, from behind the cupboard doors." You end this with a BANG! This last stanza is so moving, so compelling ... it's the stuff of poetry. Some authors will write a good poem, and it will be good overall, but to me this most important part is the end, because when I am writing in this little white box, that is the part that I remember. It makes me almost shiver how great and powerful that last stanza is, and I can barely type.

Overall, this poem was beautiful and compelling. You took an interesting approach, and I've never really thought much about this. That's what good authors do, is make the reader think, and you've done just that.

Excellent job with this story.

-Megan

Author's Response: Thank you sooooo much for your glowing review, Megan! It's really heartening, what with this being my first published poem and all:D Anyway, in answer to the queries you raised, the line structuring in the second stanza was actually deliberate! I'd actually intended for the words "hatred", "spit" and "bitterness", all really harsh choices of words, to be emphasised at the start of each line to juxtapose Harry's tough reality and the warm solace of his dream. Oh well, I guess it came out rather awkward! Ooh yes actually, I really like your suggestion on the use of "awaiting" rather than "I await" :D The present continuous adds to the cyclical nature of the subject matter, which is Harry's awful life with the Dursleys. It's repetitive and horrid and there's no escape): And yeah, Aunt Petunia was laughing lovingly with Dudley:D Once again, thanks so much for your review! Really glad you liked it<3

Oh, Carole, this is so nice. The characters you chose were beautiful, and the plot is stunning. I love the Dramione ... you have so much more plot in here than just the prompt. I don't have a ghost of a change in this competition now ... (gettit? ghost?) :D

Author's Response: Thanks Megan. It's been fun to write although I think my Draco obsession is growing alarmingly! Mmm, rather a lot of plot, and I need to cram it all into Ch 3 and then the epilogue - eeep! Good Luck to you, too. ~Carole~

At first I thought the sticks they carried were guns, but they’re not.

Personally, I don't think that even a Muggle five year old boy would think that wands, 'sticks,' are guns. I think this because first off, wands look nothing like guns. Second, the 'stick' caught a school on fire, and to me, that wouldn't automatically make me think, 'gun!' Also, this could be arguable, but I don't think the sound is quite loud enough to be mistaken for that of a gun. If it were, I would think that it would be mentioned in canon that there would be alot more problems with the sounds. If you cast a spell and it was that loud, I think it would've been mentioned somewhere, as I think that would be a disturbance.

I’ve seen another one before, as well, but only a glimpse.

Here, you say that you saw the one that caught the church on fire, and then the narrator remembers, 'Oh yes, I saw that other one too.' But then you go on to mention that there was another (major) incident with Death Eaters, though before, you said that there had only been two incidents with them.

They’re wrong. There are aliens out there, and I know there are. But I can’t do anything to stop them.

I like this line, because you really capture the emotions and inner feelings here. You let the reader know, and this is very accurate, that no one believes him, and then from there, you build up the tension that would come from obviously knowing that 'aliens' exist, but no one will believe that that is what happened. Very nice.

I want someone to save me.

I really like your last line. It is very, very powerful and just ends the story with a 'bang' and reminds you why this story was put into the dark and angsty category.

I thought your characterization was well done. I thought that the boy's point of view was very accurate, and that the description of the Death Eater attack was accurate as well. I would say that it sounds to me like he should be more sad that his mother and sister died, but then again, the whole story sounds like he is in a daze to me, and I wouldn't change that.

One plot hole I discovered was the fact that it isn't given what he was doing during the Death Eater attack. Surely, to see the Death Eater so clearly, he must have been rather close, and for a small boy, I'm sure the Death Eater would've seen him. Maybe he could express how thankful he is? Or maybe give some kind of an explanation on why the Death Eater decided to spare him. I would think that a Death Eater's philosophy would be something like, 'Kill them all.' I don't think he would save the five year old boy, but if he has a good reason to in your head, then that is fine, though I think that some part of that should be explained.

One little thing I wanted to point out that I liked was the fact that he refers to the wizards as 'aliens' and refers to the dead people as 'sleeping.' This is a nice way to refer to these terms in a dark and angsty fic.

One little thing I thought I'd point out also was the fact that I believe in your summary you have that this is a five year old boy. I don't think the vocabulary and thoughts in this story fit that of a five year old boy. Do you know what I mean? Maybe a seven year old or so would fit better, though like I mentioned earlier, I still liked the terminology you chose.

I thought this story was very, very nice. I enjoyed it alot.

Author's Response: Whoa, OK, wow! Thanks for putting so much thought into this :) With the whole "guns/stick" thing. I just thought the kid really wouldn't have a clue what was going on, and the only thing he knows that could damage buildings from a distance. I understand that it's unlikely that a gun could be confused with a stick, but it's the only conclusion that he could come to. I’ve seen another one before, as well, but only a glimpse. You're right -- I should probably change that. I think I'll change it to "That isn't the only one I've seen. A couple of months back I caught a glimpse of another one. The next thing I knew..." Thanks for that! The storyline has moved around a lot since the original copy, and I got mixed up XD Ah, the plot hole. I sort of thought that the Death Eaters were twisted and evil enough to let the boy see his mother die, and them leave him to live with it. This may be considered OOC, but I just thought Death Eaters were nasty enough to want to do that to a kid. You know what? I think I'll bump him up to a seven-year-old. I hope you don't mind if I use your suggestion :) Thank you very, very much for digging so deeply into my little one-shot! I'm really glad you enoyed it, too. ~Midnight Storm

OH MY GOOOOOOOODDDDDDDD MAPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This was so fantastic truley. I can't believe tis was your first fic!!!!!!!!!!! IT WAS SOOOOO FREAKING GOOOOOODD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM GOING TO SQUEE OVER THIS STORY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!! That is a long time! Maple this is the best story I've ever read and I'm not just saying that and the Harmony in here makes my heart burst with glee and I don't even know what to type because I'm so thrilled and I'm like so excited my family is probably looking at me like i"m an idiot and i'm typing like 300 wpm and this was the best Christmas present EVER!!!! Oh my Maple this was soooooo supermeganfawkesyawesomehot and I appreciate all the time that went into this and I hope you get like 5000 reviews because you are so awesome and this is so awesome and i am going to make this a banner right now and GAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE THE BEESTESSSTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Author's Response: Megan, you have absolutely no idea how much this made me smile, like AHHHH!!! I'm SO SO SO SO SO glad you like it!!! I'm so happy right now from reading that, like you have no idea. Just gah, no words, this was me when I read your review: :O :D haha, ILY Megan, you are adorable :P

"one of the most encouraging people on the boards"

Aaaw, you're too kind! Anyway, you know I love this poem. This is my absolute OTP (guessing you knew that :p) Thank you soooo sooo much for this!! It is a great gift.

I love the way the poem flows. The one word lines are awesome to read. I love the repetition too (my favorite thing to do) and I just plain love love love the poem.

Keep rockin.

:) MeganFawkes

WOAH! That was awesome. Bravo, Natalie! You know, it's been awhile since I actually read through a fic, and this was relatively long compared to what I normally do.

But you're just so awesome . . . this was FANTASTIC. Great work as usual.

MeganFawkes