04/19/06
Hello everyone who decided to grace this boring page!
I am a native Floridian, recent college graduate, happily married (even though the hubby doesn't understand the obession...)! I have been reading for years, but only recently taken a dive into writing. I'm a proud Hufflepuff and have recently taken to drabbling as well, so some of those might turn into stories as well.
Stories (click for banner on all):
Independent Stories:
A Life From the Ashes:
Third Task challenge fic, centered on Ron.
Banner by whomovedmyquill.
A True Weasley
Why Percy Weasley was sorted into Gryffindor. For the Hufflepuff Back to Hogwarts Challenge.
Wicked Witches
A one-shot about Luna as a child.
For the Halloween Challenge - Halloween Explained.
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Moments Series:
This series highlights important, pivotal moments in a characters' life.
It did not start as a series, but has taken flight in my mind, and you can't really tell those things "no", can you?
Each summary is purposefully vague, for telling you the moment ahead of time is anticlimatic, in my opinion.
Series banner by psijupiter.
Moments:
A Harry/Ginny story, a missing moment from the HBP.
Banner by lilykinslove.
Twilit Confessions:
A Ron/Hermione story, Post-Hogwarts.
Banner by Bine/luinrina.
All reviews are appreciated and cherished.
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Sunday Lunch with The Malfoys by hestiajones
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: A one-shot fic where Teddy Lupin goes to The Younger Malfoys to have lunch with them for the first time. A lot of hope for the future hangs on the success of this lunch. Read to find out what happens. ;-)
Nominated for a Quicksilver Quills in the Best Post-Hogwarts Fic category. Thank you Ari!
Date: 08/14/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Sunday Lunch with The Malfoys
Hey Natalie! I have come to review as promised, and I'm glad you promoted your story, because somehow I missed it in the updates. Is this the first story you've ever written? Because it was a joy and a delight to read - can I have more please? :D I am mega-impressed!
I think there can be many characterizations of Astoria, as we know so little about her, but any take that is well written is believable. Your take on the Malfoys' Post-Hogwarts life is refreshing. It doesn't feel overdone, and it is explained. The motivations behind their somewhat secluded life brings us a version of Scorpius that is accepted and well-balanced and prejudiced free - again, tastefully and refreshingly done so as not to be overwhelming.
Your characterization - spot on. Well, in my humble opinion. There have been 12309827 different versions of Scorpius and Astoria, and I really like yours. Astoria seems like she is a good fit for the Draco you've molded as well…willing to play into his ego a little bit, but all aboard the "Let's Forget the Past" train.
My favorite…impression?...of your work is how you intermingled the history and the aforementioned motivations and beliefs of the Malfoy's into the dialogue and into the story as it unfolded, rather than giving us several paragraphs in the beginning. It felt like I was peeking into their life for a day, shadowing first Draco, and then Teddy, and finally Astoria as something trivial like Sunday lunch is actually a very pivotal moment in their lives. It made the flow of the story smooth and easy to read, breaking up the dialogue and the prose.
I also liked the time stamp and place - it helped to juxtapose the differences and similarities between the two families…does that make sense? At least, it did for me, lol. Teddy and Draco had a VERY different background, but at the same time were both willing to cross bridges and change tradition. And they both were cute being nervous. :) I also thought the comparisons between the Weasley children and Scorpius were initially a tad overdone, but now that I think about it, that's probably what I would have been doing the entire time myself - making comparisons in this nervewracking situation to the one think I'm most familiar with.
I also thought that you sprinkled it ever so nicely with glimpses into how the Wizarding world has changed, and just with little fun tidbits here and there to make the reader really feel immersed in a magical world. I think as writers of this fiction we sometimes forget to do that subtly here and there: playing Auror and Wizard Baddie, Astoria's thought about stunning two birds with one spell, Teddy's household spells worth a "T" grade, Archiwizards…etc.
So, this review is monstrous, and probably the longest one I've ever written! I think there were a few nitpicks in there somewhere - one of your codings is off, something was supposed to be italicized, I think, and I have to mention that I did have a little, "Hmm" moment when Draco got the owl from Xanadu - but I wasn't joking when I asked for another. Something with lots of Astoria in it.
~Amanda
Author's Response: wow, Amanda! That was an awesome review. Thanks! Thanks! Thanks!
Astoria is a character I love playing around it. I know Rowling said in one of her interviews that Astoria/Asteria was a Slytherin at school, but I needed someone who is not only clever, but also selfless. I think generosity and the willingness to open one's life to other people are some two that Draco's wife would badly need. And since I am a sucker for the 'bad boy turned good' variety, I really, really wanted Draco to have that kind of wife so that he could improve as a person. And more of my version of Astoria is coming soon. I am currently working on a chaptered fic where she will feature quite prominently. :D
As for the comparison between the Weasley children and Scorpius - I knew that it could sound a bit overdone, but I kept it like it is because Teddy is someone who could not avoid doing it. The thought that Teddy grew up around those kids kept playing in my mind, so I let him do it. :)
Did you feel that you were peeking into the Malfoys' life? Yay! I wanted my readers to feel that way.
And, yes, one must never forget that she is writing about a wizarding world. :D In my fics, I try to include magic as much as possible. I confess I am not really creative, but I do try to show that this world is as magical as ever.
And thank you so much for the nitpicks! I should go and edit the draft rightaway. Xanadu...lol, I confess that even I didn't like the part so much. I tried so very hard to come up with an original name but...couldn't. However, Draco got the owl from the Ministry. :D
A Mother Remembers by mudbloodproud
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary:
Today is the day Molly Weasley must bury her child. What thoughts are on her mind as she faces this nightmare?
I do not own anything you recognise in this story. It all belongs to J.K. Rowling. I am just thankful to escape to her world for a time.
Date: 08/03/09 Title: Chapter 1: A Mother Remembers
Never having been close to this situation, I can't imagine what Molly might have been going through, but the anguish and the grief is palpable. I found it realistic that Molly would view Fred and George's troubles as exasperating and troublesome as they occur, but as strengthening and with fondness when looking back. I can imagine her blankly looking arouond her house, the memories rushing through her, slowly increasing the pain and that's what you've shown us. I like the memories you've selected as well.
I hope this served as an outlet for you as well, Terri. Your writing is always wonderful, and this is no exception.
Author's Response: Thank you for your review. This began swarming in my head last week and with everything, it just sat there until my muse decided today she had to write it out. Thanks again. Terri
Memories by A H
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: Harry takes Ginny on a trip down memory lane. Some memories should be cherished forever, and sometimes we have to put the past behind us so that we can make new memories.
Date: 08/18/09 Title: Chapter 1: Memories
Oh, that was fluffy goodness that I adore.
I love it when men get all secretive and mysterious...and sexy and sweet. *Sigh* This was all of that and I totally loved it. I don't know how helpful I'll be, as I thought it wasn't overdone and that both Harry and Ginny were in character, but I love this stuff.
I thought it was fairly predictable, but it didn't take away from the enjoyableness of reading it, if that makes sense. Harry wasn't gushing how Ginny's hair lit a fire in his heart, Ginny wasn't crying (and she didn't figure it out)...it just felt real. Maybe because I could kind of picture myself responding in that situation. Not we've-just-ended-a-terrible-war-and-you've-gone-off-the-deep-end, but not trusting the boyfriend/husband to keep dragging me everywhere and be nagging/making sarcastic comments the whole time. And it helped keep the narrative moving and the fluff from being over powering.
The last line was great. I liked the repetition throughout (like him nodding and in Godric's Hollow) and the fact the certain information was slowly known to us - you jumped right into the story.
I'm eating my lunch at work, and I couldn't think of a better way to have spent it. :)
Deal Or No Deal by the opaleye
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: Hermione is struggling to keep S.P.E.W afloat after a nasty and public incident involving a house-elf, rolling pin and Muggle now recovering in St. Mungo's. George is slowly drowning in a sea of financial strain and grief over Fred's death. When the two of them join forces one Christmas, will they overcome their troubles and perhaps find solace in the unexpected? But can these two very different personalities reside in one place at one time?
Date: 05/22/10 Title: Chapter 4: 4 - Fizzle and Pop!
I am enjoying this, Julia! I like that the chapters include both POV, because each time you manage to not make it repetitive, and offer some insight into each one. George's curses were quite inventive, lol, and the "Women." was a nice way to end the chapter; it made me chuckle, which is nice after all of the heaviness that this story has so far to it.
Thanks for keeping up with this story!
~Amanda
Author's Response: Well I'm glad you're still enjoying it! Hopefully I'll be able to get some more work done on this fic. I've got it all planned out, it just needs to be written and beta-d! Thanks for the review :)
Date: 09/26/09 Title: Chapter 2: 2 - The Deal
Your story intrigues me. I've never been able to adequately picture Hermione or George IC...but suddenly, here I am. Congratulations, lol. So, basically, I'm digging your story. (I'm fangirling your banner, too. :D)
You've started off several years in the future - they are older, dealing with their issues. They are realistically isolated from the rest of the Weasleys, giving them a foundation to start building a relationship, even if it starts as friendship, a means to help get over the problems of the past.
The line about "The muscles in his face rejoiced" - wonderful.
~Amanda
Author's Response: Hi Amanda! Thanks! My banner, well, it makes me smile stupidly each time I log on :) Sara is amazing! I'm glad I've characterised H and G realistically. My beta, Drew, who gave me a couple of plot bunnies, and I wanted to make sure that I didn't just dive into a silly romance with no realistic basis so I'm glad you think that's been achieved! Thanks so much for the review!
Thank you for your time, Professor by Equinox Chick
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: It is April 1976, and Minerva McGonagall sits in her office, arranging biscuits on a plate. She knows she faces a stormy afternoon because today is the day she has to advise her four most troublesome students on their future. They call themselves the Marauders; they think they want the same thing, but Minerva knows that the differences between them will not work in everyone's favour. And so, she steels herself for a very difficult day.
This is Equinox Chick submitting her final for the MWPP class.
Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling, but I doubt that shocks you.
This story is very much a prequel to The Lions of Gryffindor, but either can be read without knowledge of the other.
In shock at the nomination for a 2009 QSQ award.
Date: 08/14/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Carole,
I don't know if I've ever read anyone who is so consistent in their characterization of this era! And still manages to have a nice range to write in...if that makes sense. This story was a great read that had me chuckling at one point and feeling the sadness and frustration right along with the boys (and McGonagall!) in the next. I think McGonagall's point of view was spot on (and really fun to read, actually)…she seemed to genuinely like each boy, but was obviously frustrated and still…McGonagall, lol. Fair and stern and well-spoken.
Each interview was unique and helped to do several things at once. It illustrated the boys' relationship at that time, and through James' interview mainly, it helped to highlight the rough times in the world outside Hogwarts. It also served to develop each character; even though the interviews were fairly short, the boys were given enough time to reveal important things about their character at that age. And it had some foreshadowing without being hit-you-in-the-face with it.
Overall, your writing is always very enjoyable and this was no exception - it was a pleasure to read. I would have liked to see more Lily, but I know this was about the boys. She did have her place at the end. And…McGonagall has a picture of Dumbledore on her desk? ;)
~Amanda
Author's Response: Oh ha ha - no I'm not implying she loves Albus hee hee - just that she uses him for inspiration sometimes. Thank you so much for the review- I am pleased you liked it. I extremely pleased you liked McGonagall, I see her as someone who behind the stern front can be emotional (see her at Quidditch matches - LOL). Hmm, I was going to include Lily, but it was hard to slot her in with those troublesome Marauders (plus I still struggle with her - *blush*). Thanks again. Carole xxx
Between the Snoring and the Seemingly Imminent Death by A H
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Between the Snoring and the Seemingly Imminent Death is a short one-shot inspired by the passage in Deathly Hallows in which Harry awakes on the first morning in Grimmauld Place, noticing that perhaps Ron and Hermione's hands had been together during the night. This story--for I shall spare you the unnecessarily long title again--is about what happened during that night, when Ron and Hermione know that the next few months of their lives are not going to be easy, for the moments that are under the most pressure are undoubtedly the ones we most feel confessions are necessary.
Date: 08/25/09 Title: Chapter 1: Between the Snorting and the Seemingly Imminent Death
Aaahhh you make my heart melt! I'm sneaking reading/reviewing this at work so this is going to be very short/sweet...but it was just that. Short and sweet and lovely.
To Follow the Dark Lord by hestiajones
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Regulus is respected and feared by the Slytherins, but his disenchantment has already begun. Along comes a young Barty Crouch Junior, who is every bit the embodiment of Regulus’ own doubts about the Dark Lord and the Death Eaters…
This story won second place in the Gift of Gab Challenge.
Date: 12/01/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1To Follow the Dark Lord
Very weighty stuff here…I found this to be very interesting. I think you handled it very well - I thought you did a very good job of keeping everything very clear with no dialogue tags, it was a very easy read. Regulus being more formal with his dialogue helped, too, and I would actually imagine him to be so, though I have no earthly idea why. *shrugs*
This line was fairly creepy, but in a good, Death-Eater sort of way (umm…lol): "Why so unkind to your own pawns?" I liked how you were able to inject scorn and even some bitterness into Regulus' dialogue, and enthusiasm into Barty's. I don't have a definite picture in my head of Regulus, so it was enlightening to read something that defines who he might have been to get inside Voldemort's inner circle. He was quite the scary guy, here. And nice and manipulative.
It almost sounded like Regulus was has a slightly different belief than Voldemort already; like's he's already on the path to becoming disillusioned. When he says, "We do not resort to violence just because we can.” I found myself echoing Barty when he goes "Really?" Maybe Regulus himself doesn't know what he's gotten himself into at this point.
I thought this line was brilliant: "How can it be about power? What does that have to do with us?” I think that's really where he seems older than his years, right in that moment.
Really great read here. And I am so not reading from work!
Okay, so maybe I am.
~Amanda
Author's Response: Hey, there!
That challenge really was a challenge. It taught me writing dialogues without tags and descriptions is a daunting task. But I'm glad I managed to at least write it with a bit credibility (and I have to thank Niki and Spires for their help).
Regulus being formal has to do with his being a typical Black. I am so happy you managed to differentiate between the two person's emotions behind their words. Yes, I presented Regulus as someone who didn;t really know what he had signed up for, but with time, he realizes it isn't all rosy. And you're right - he's older than his years.
Thank you for the review, my love. And I am so not responding from work. ;)
No Assistance Required by Subversa
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: In the years since the fall of Voldemort, Severus Snape has lived outside of Britain. Then one idyllic day at the Burrow, surrounded by a plethora of Weasleys, spouses, and off-spring, Hermione Granger comes face to face again with her former teacher. Why is he even there, and why the hell is he watching her?
Date: 08/18/09 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot
Hmmmm...why is this only a one-shot?
I don't necessarily think that Snape and Hermione would work, per say, but you always seem to make me change my mind. The situation presented here was no different...he was intriguing, drily sarcastic, and seems to know Hermione well enough to make her interested, push her buttons. And you make the reader want more!
So, umm...more please?
Details by afterglow745
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary:
Remus/Lily.
Date: 08/27/09 Title: Chapter 1: --- --- --- ---
This was a sweet story that has an almost wistful tone. I'm a girl in love, not a boy in love, but I assume that some of the emotions are similar - the intoxication and the lingering thoughts that seem to overwhelm everything. I thought Remus in love was written wonderfully - he viewed himself fearful of rejection, thoughts were all consuming, he lashed out at his friends, etc.
I was first struck by the fact that fourth years don't usually have access to the Prefect's bathroom, but I didn't let the detail bother me.
Remus seems to be a secretive, selfless person, and this portrayed him no differently, hiding his feelings for someone he cares about to not hurt his friends and for his fear of rejection.
Even as a young man, I'm not sure Remus would have such depressing, resent thoughts about himself. While he always seemed to accept the realities of his situation - the reading of the werewolf registration and arguing with his friends about it is a great example of this - it seemed rather out of character for him to think about himself as a "filthy half-breed." I understand why you emphasized some of his thinking - it made the ending tie out beautifully - but I thought this line in particularly was a bit too much.
Overall, it was a lovely read.
For I am a Mother by hestiajones
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Voldemort and the Death Eaters are waiting for Harry Potter in the clearing. Among those present is a woman, Narcissa Malfoy, who is considering her family’s fate. Then, Harry Potter comes and the Dark Lord casts the Killing Curse...yet, Harry, as Narcissa finds out, is not dead. Why does she decide to lie for him?
Date: 08/30/09 Title: Chapter 1: For I am a Mother
Natalie,
The first impression from this story is the repetition in the first paragraph, which conveys to me a since of impatience from the narrator (whom I know to be Narcissa). The first two sentences employ this technique and are brilliant, in my opinion. (The "along with" and "we's".)
Even in a story from Narcissa's POV, your characterization of Bella is stunning. "My sister…who used to play with me, who used to protect me…that Bella lives no more. It is just Bellatrix now." You seem to be able to capture some essence of their relationship that I either haven't seen before or haven't bothered to read yet.
Now, this scene is obviously the same scene from DH, just from another point of view. But when I read the line "Harry Potter is standing in front of me," I got chills. I don't know why, I thought the way that you introduced his entrance was great.
There are some lines which are just…motherly? If that makes sense. Which cross the lines of a pureblood follower, undeveloped character, into a real person. Usually they are Narcissa's thoughts.
"Can we really be free of him?"
"But when I reach him, I am irresistibly reminded of Draco. Where is my son? When does this end?"
I always assumed it was Voldemort's arrogance that led him to believe Narcissa and not actually examine whether or not she was lying:
"I gather what remaining strength I have so that I can lie to the one who cannot be deceived."
But here, is she gathering strength for Occlumency?
I liked it, a lot. But I felt like the ending was lacking somewhat…I was waiting for some line about how her hope about Draco still being alive still, and her joy and potentially being able to save him was keeping her together…does that make sense?
Either way, you are a very talented writer, and this is a great piece.
~Amanda
Author's Response: Hey!
I see what you mean about the last part. It was Voldemort's own arrogance that led him to believe Narcissa. The thing is, Narcissa suppose Voldemort considers her a coward because of her weakness- Draco. And this is a correct supposition. However, what Voldemort does not know is that this "coward" can lie to him - he is arrogant, and Narcissa knows this. But she needs to take precautions just the same. When I wrote "to lie the one who cannot be deceived", I wanted to draw attention to all these- that one woman was going to successfully lie to such a powerful Legilimen, because he is too arrogant, or shall I say "ignorant", to think otherwise.
But Narcissa needs strength for this act of deception. I daresay she has been acting for over a year by now, although she has not told a lie to Voldemort's face as yet. It is not so much Occlumency (though it does seem to point that way), as a brave and courageous attempt to tell an outright lie for love.
Does this make sense?
I am happy that you thought I captured Narcissa's impatience, and, indeed, make everything sound "motherly."
Thanks for the incredible interview, and your other encouraging words. You really make my day everytime you comment.
[hugs]
Natalie.
A Marriage Made at Hogwarts by hestiajones
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Draco Malfoy and Ronald Weasley loathed each other at Hogwarts, and little has changed over the years. No one in their right wand would have ever expected them to become in-laws. But Hogwarts is a funny place where many things become possible. And now, everyone has to accept it – Scorpius Malfoy and Rose Weasley are getting married today…
Date: 09/07/09 Title: Chapter 1: Father of the Groom
I'm drooling all over my keyboard.
I heart you. Seriously.
I have this picture, in my head, of Astoria and Draco, and the dynamic of their relationship. It can vary slightly, but it is there in essence. And you have just written an delicious chapter illustrating it so wonderfully in all its glory.
I'm sorry this review doesn't have any real concrit; maybe I'll read it again without the haze of love around my eyes, and I'll see some character development or something to comment on. Because Draco's relationship with his wife, and his mother, and his father, and society = basically exactly how I pictured it. Love.
And he still seems slightly eager to show himself the more calm picture in front of "The Weasel King." A slight smirk, no overt insults, sincere niceness. But he's still Malfoy.
Are we like, long-lost sisters or something?
~Amanda
Author's Response: Thank you, my dear Amanda, long lost sister, comrade, fellow Draco-Astoria sympathizer. LOL! But I agree with you on all points. (And...pssst...I loved your two drabbles on these two.) Thanks for the R&R!
Date: 10/14/09 Title: Chapter 2: The Best Man
YEA! Update! I've been checking all day, and I'm so excited to read!
Oh, the dream at the beginning was so touching and bittersweet. Which perfectly matches the mood and the relationship of Teddy with his parents, I think. He really has no memories, but photographs and images and stories. And I completely hate it when I wake up two minutes before the alarm goes off, lol.
Oh, Victoire's letter was just so…adorable? Fiesty? Cute but not too gushy? Oh, all of the above. :) I think it helped set a tone for their relationship, where she inserts little jokes but you really know she's kind of not joking ("and missing me, of course!" "…and don't let those female trainees get any nearer than five meters, okay?") and what kind of character she is ("I politely said no - and shot him a nonverbal Confundus Charm as soon as he turned his back. It was hilarious!").
On Andromeda. Her comment to Teddy in the beginning...awesome dry humor. I felt for her when Teddy made his request…I thought you portrayed it quite well. She lashed out to hurt him pretty good. "Is it the money?" was a pretty low blow, lol. I'm glad you still kept her the kind of character that didn't let it affect their relationship, as I feel that she would understand it wasn't personal against her.
Oh, Teddy's got some bal*cough* guts! speaking to Draco like that at the train station. Probably necessary to get through to him, as Teddy was also polite, just plowing through his explanation and addressing Scorpio directly. And Draco probably would have made me roll my eyes if I were Victoire watching the scene…"our elders" and "if we are going to socialize". But I thought it was well played out.
*EEH! Companion piece, hmmm? I was already imaging a relationship similar to one in Sunday Dinner when it started with the Best Man and Teddy's fascination to get to know his cousin…and then Draco invites him to dinner. :D And Auror and Wizard Baddie made its appearance! So cute. "I'm more scared of Ginny than the worst wizard baddie on this planet." Ha! Though he might say, "Your mom" rather than Ginny when talking to a child, that's a very minor point. It let Ginny make a wonderful appearance.
Oh, the ending was great. I imagine Victoire with a mixture of Fleur and Molly…if there is such a thing to imagine, lol. So she's quite a formidable person to argue with.
Your writing is so delightful to read - it just flows, your characters seem to have distinct, known personalities that flow, with plausible developments from what little we know from the books (or what "lot" we know, in the case of Draco, whom you know I fangirl and drool over *insert Yahoo! Smiley*). I'm so glad you found it somewhere in you to rewrite this. *Moment of silence over lost work* Anyhoo, I'll be waiting for Chapter 3!
And I'm listening to BSB while I write this.
~Amanda
Grave Days by Northumbrian
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: Front page: THE DAILY PROPHET 4 May 1998
TOM RIDDLE – THE SELF-STYLED LORD VOLDEMORT
Editors Note: At the request of the Ministry for Magic this Official Statement issued by the Office of the Minister is produced full and unedited.
OFFICIAL MINISTRY STATEMENT
This official statement has been compiled with the assistance and co-operation of Mr Harry Potter.
“Lord Voldemort†was, in fact a man named Tom M. Riddle, son of a witch, Merope Gaunt and a Muggle, Tom Riddle Senior. The Ministry has decided that in all future official publications Riddle will be referred to by his given name.
There has already been much speculation and wild rumour regarding the events at Hogwarts School. The Ministry can confirm that Tom M. Riddle was killed at dawn on the morning of Saturday, 2 May. Riddle was disarmed by Harry Potter while in the act of firing a killing curse at Mr Potter. The curse killed Riddle rather than its intended target.
Continued on page 4
WHERE IS HARRY POTTER?
Despite the Official Ministry Statement (published above) we are no closer to receiving an answer to the question on the lips of every witch and wizard in the country. Where is Harry Potter?
It appears that Mr Potter left Hogwarts School early yesterday morning, apparently in the company of his close associates Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley. An attractive young Ministry clerk, who did not wish to be named, told The Prophet “He’s at the Ministry, having an important meeting with the Minister. My friends and I saw him. He asked us out to the pub, but we had to turn him down.†This statement is at odds with a report from the Portkey Office that Mr Potter has fled the country, travelling to Australia with his companions.
Continued on page 2
The days after the battle were days of grief and mourning. Grave Days.Date: 09/05/09 Title: Chapter 1: Sepulchral Mist
I have been waiting for so long for a story about what happened after the battle. Not simply a one-shot, but a real story that explores what happens, how they deal with the logistical issues, relationship issues, and all the loose ends, to tie up their lives, move on with it, get the Wizarding community slowly rebuilt.
I am starting to get excited about your story. The summary pulled me in with it's uniqueness and its ambiquity. The first chapter seems to have picked up right where JKR left off. It doesn't have Harry being overwhelmed and moaning with grief, or proposing marriage to Ginny, or getting drunk, or any of those other cliches that don't feel as if they are a part of canon...he's just taking one step at a time, dealing with what is most important to him - making sure no one else can misuse the power of the elder wand that caused him so much trouble.
I don't know how realistic I thought it was that he made so many important decisions about his future while walking down to the tomb to do it, but I do like that you've made the subtle change in Harry, not the "I'M ALL POWERFUL!" Harry that we also see. I think my favorite part of this chapter was:
"He halted in front of the white tomb and pulled the Elder Wand from within the folds of his invisibility cloak. He turned to face the acting Minister and the acting Headmistress. Suddenly, he felt very young and very foolish. I’m about to give orders to the most important wizard, and probably the most influential witch, in the country, he thought.
And they’re going to do what I ask without questioning me, he realised."
It felt like...Harry. Like, he knew what he had to do, but he didn't know how to explain it, but he did it anyway because he knew it was right. If that makes sense.
I also liked that he didn't dwell on Ginny, but she was on his mind. :)
Soo...as you can see, I'll be anxiously awaiting the next chapter! Great chapter 1!
~Amanda
Author's Response: Amanda
Thanks for the kind words; I’m not certain that the journey I’m taking is, exactly, the one you’re looking for, though really I hope that it is. Relationships, and families, are at the core of the story.
My own (personal) pet hate is Ron and Hermione in bed together the morning after the battle. Why? Because it is less than 24 hours since their first kiss; and this is Hermione! (and Ron!).
I hope that in my story, Harry is simply being Harry; so he’s still misunderstanding other people and their emotions.
N
Scenes from Shell Cottage by WeasleyMom
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: This fic is a series of missing moments from the time H/R&H were at Shell Cottage, beginning immediately after they Disapparated from Malfoy Manor. JKR shows us what was going on with Harry, but this is my version of what could have happened with Ron and Hermione after one of the most emotional/disturbing events in the entire series.
UPDATED June 2010 When I first wrote this fic, I didn't know what a beta reader was, and frankly, it showed. Thanks so much to Natalie for helping me polish this up and make it more readable. Thanks also to both Julia and Carole, whose helpful comments in the review section allowed me to make some much-needed corrections during the rewrite. I would love to know what you think ~ reviews are very much appreciated!
This was nominated in the 2010 Quicksilver Quill Awards for Best Canon Romance.
Date: 11/10/09 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5
AAAhhh this story is so wonderfully beautiful. I love R/Hr to peices and I love missing moments stories and this combines them deliciously. Their converstation feels natural, everything flows wonderfully, and their tension and attraction is so obvious! You just want to shake them! I can't wait for the next chapter!
~Amanda
Author's Response: Thanks so much Amanda. This kind of encouragement keeps me plugging along... only the last chapter is left to be written. You do want to shake them, don't you? I just saw the Half-Blood Prince again this weekend and I felt they both needed a good shaking! Ha. Thanks for your continued encouragement and reviews. More soon.
Date: 11/30/11 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3
UGH LORI YOU SLAY ME. So, I'm totally re-reading some of your stories.
Seriously this is one of my favorite things I've ever read:
"He wiped the tears off one cheek with his thumb and left his hand there, looking at her with more tenderness and transparency than he ever had. It was too intimate for the friendship they had shared before now, but he didn’t care anymore. He didn’t care if she saw his whole heart stripped bare right here in this room, and if she knew everything he felt for her."
Because with the build-up and the parts after it, it just WORKS and it feels right and I melt. And I just had to say that again- if were to go back and re-read, I'm pretty sure my old review would say the exact same thing, but dagnabit if when I'm re-reading this if I didn't just go "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh" into a pile goo when I got to that part.
So I just thought you should know again.
And, this is one of my favorite stories ever for all time, the end.
~Amanda
Author's Response: Aw, Amanda, I'm sending you some big squishes across a couple of states. :) You may have said the same thing before (and I may know it because I read that review 875 times), but it means a lot that you would reread and take the time to tell me again. That is one of the moments I like best in this story too, if only because I think it could have happened in canon. In fact, it kind of DOES happen in my head canon for DH, even now... with everything that happens after this point in this fic goes a bit off the canon rails. Love, love, love that we share the Romione addiction, girl. Thanks again for this! :) <3
Date: 11/17/09 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6
Ohhh, I EEP! in a Chili's at an airport when I saw that this had updated.
I sat enthralled and made faces and forgot my food for ten minutes while I read.
I desparately wish I could give a better review than this but I'm doing it awkwardly over food to rush to my flight. But all of it was so good, and I understood what you meant in the review to my story and I am so happy I read this and AAH I'm fangirling right now.
I was talking to a friend online and she was saying how she didn't have as much time to read anymore, and I told her to at least go read your story, because it was so good. *tear* I don't want it to end.
~Amanda
Author's Response: You are such a sweetie, Amanda! I need a little of your enthusiastic encouragement in a bottle so I can open it up on bad days and cheer myself up... haha. I'm so glad you are still liking it. I always look forward to hearing what you think after I post a new chapter. I only wish I could have been in the airport to see the silly faces you made as you read it. :) Thanks again for the review. I appreciate it.
Date: 09/26/09 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2
Oh, how did I miss the first chapter when it was posted?
I think this is a perfectly written "missing moments" story. They are just delightfully in character. I felt that those moments in DH in the Malfoy Manor were so powerful, and because of the intensity of the moments, emotions came to the surface. I really like how you've portrayed Ron and Bill's relationship, and I really like Fleur, as well. I think she is someone that writers struggle to portray, but I think you've done a marvelous job. She is running her household, taking care of her guests.
I particularly enjoyed this part:
“He’s suffering from something else, too,” she said quietly, her eyes on the sleeping girl.
“I agree,” Bill said. “Do you think he knows it?”
“If he didn’t before tonight, he does now,” Fleur commented.
I think it illustrates both an aspect of Fleur's character, and her and Bill's relationship.
Overall, I will now be awaiting the next chapter!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the encouragement. Chapter three is written and will be coming soon. And thanks for specifying what part you liked. We know from DH that Ron did know way before then, but its fun to imagine that it was news to Bill and Fleur. Thanks again for the kind words.
Date: 10/01/09 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3
*ohmygosh Your last two large paragraphs, about Ron's reasoning about his feelings:
"It was too intimate for the friendship they had shared before now, but he didn’t care anymore. He didn’t care if she saw his whole heart stripped bare right here in this room, and if she knew everything he felt for her."
It made me cry and I am just going to pretend that this really happened in canon. Do you mind?
~Amanda
Author's Response: Haha... are you kidding? I think that would be the coolest thing ever. I'm glad you are liking it. I've not been around here long, but realized after a quick search that you wrote Streetlights. I love that piece. And as you will soon see, we have a similar take on the whole Lavender thing. Thanks for the sweet response.
Date: 11/28/09 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7
This story is just...*sigh*. Delightful. It's bittersweet to see it end. And as amazingly as you write Hermione/Ron, I think my favorite part of this chapter was between Harry and Ron...“I will. This part will not surprise me, I assure you.” Made me laugh out loud.
I am hoping that while this was your first attempt, you will not make it your last. It was truly a very wonderful story and I will continue to recommend it and probably reread it at various times in the future. I am starting to reuse adjectives like "wonderful" and "amazing" and "sweet" and "beautiful"....but I hope you know you have a bit of a fangirl here and I loved it.
~Amanda
Author's Response: Hey Amanda! I'm so glad you liked the end... and that's cool that you liked Harry's response the best. That kind of surprises me, but I'm glad to know the line works there... so thanks for pointing that out. I will definitely write more, as I am addicted to HP and this is a seriously great way to get a fix. ;) You have been a huge encouragement through this whole story and you make me laugh every time I read your reviews. (In a good way) Thanks again for reading and taking the time to review as well.